by Amy Watkins
There was a knock at the door not too long after returning to the hotel room,. My heart skipped a beat as I knew that had to be Ethan. I jumped up excitedly, opened the door, and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. He smiled and gave me a sweet peck on the lips. I couldn’t wait, I was too excited.
“Happy Birthday!” I sang out as I handed him his gift.
“Awww, you didn’t have to do that.”
“I know, but I wanted to.” I clapped my hands. “C’mon…Open it.”
He did, and he was appreciative when he unveiled his new watch accompanied by a note which read, “…also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before. Job 42:10 KJV.”
“Thank you,” he said as he smiled and kissed me again. “What did I do to deserve this?”
“Just being your authentic self.”
He kissed me again, but this was a long, passionate kiss with a little tongue and it made my pulse race. A sweet but firm kiss showing me he wanted me as much as I wanted him. We laid back on the bed and continued our passionate kissing. He ran his fingers through my hair.
“Mmm, we shouldn’t be doing this. We should be good,” he groaned.
Fuck being good, I want to be naughty.
“We are being good, really good.” I said as I kissed him and stroked the back of his neck.
“Nope, we are being bad.”
I toyed with his collar. “But I like being bad. Don’t you?”
He smiled, lay back, and pulled me on top of him. His mouth met mine and our tongues danced. When he grabbed my ass, I straddled him and started to rock against him. I felt his erection and groaned, lifting my hands to my hair. My core began to pulse and we both panted with want.
He grasped my hips. “Damn girl, you know how to move that ass. You are trouble with a capital T.”
I waggled my eyebrows, kissed him, then rolled and pulled him on top of me. I grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it to his chest. Finally, Ethan took control. Yanking his shirt off and tossing it across the room, he helped me remove mine and took his time checking me out. Stroking the swell of my breasts, he swept his lips from my neck to the cups of my bra. Looking deep into my eyes, he slowly released the clasp and swept the cups aside. His eyes gleamed and, his eyes holding mine, he sucked and licked my nipples. It drove me wild. Lifting my hips, I tried to rub against him. My wet pussy pulsed with need. I wanted, no I needed him inside of me.
He unbuttoned my pants and I lifted my hips and, hooking his hands in my panties, he tugged them both off, baring me to his gaze. He trailed kisses from my stomach to my hips. Looping his hands around my knees, he spread my legs. Arousal coursed through my body when he licked my clit and I groaned when he thrust his tongue into my vagina. I couldn’t stop from lifting my hips to his lips. I couldn’t wait one second more.
I propped myself up on my elbows. “Enough.” He raised up and over me, smoothing my hair away from my face. “I need you inside me,” I whispered, pulling him down for another heart-stopping kiss.
“You sure you’re ready for this? We don’t have to—”
“Yes, please” I begged, and slowly pulled his hips to mine.
His dick was thick. I wasn’t used to that much girth, but I was so wet he entered me easily. With each pleasure filled thrust, I moaned loudly. The inexorable rhythm was slow and smooth, just like I liked it. He intertwined his fingers with mine and kissed me over and over, until I began to cum. I groaned and arched my back as all my pent-up sexual energy was released in an orgasmic rush—six months of abstinence and stress washed away in one of the strongest orgasms, ever.
I had to give it to him, Ethan had remarkable control. He waited until I was awash in post-coital bliss. Then he began to thrust in earnest. Once, twice, three times, and then he groaned, stiffened, and I could feel him pulsing inside me. He pressed his forehead to mine and collapsed on top of me. We lay there in each other’s embrace, basking in the afterglow of explosive sex. We shared gentle kisses and quiet murmurs. Looking deeply into each other’s eyes, we smiled. He was mine and I was his—or at least that’s how I felt.
The next few days were amazing. We were inseparable. We laughed, joked, and had fun every minute of those days. The time in our hotel room was spent naked, wild, free and unashamed—as if we were Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. When we ventured outside our room, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He snuck kisses and often touched me while the realtor showed us various properties. I took the opportunity to hold his hand and caress his arm every chance I got. We were drawn to each other and it felt…natural. I knew I was falling for him and—from the way he looked at me, touched me, and made love to me—it felt like he was falling for me too.
Then came the dreaded day, the sixteenth. The day before his birthday and the day he planned to leave. I stared out at the water while he packed his things because I didn’t want him to see how sad I really was…but he knew. He kissed me on the nose and told me that he’d be right back. Then he stepped into the hall to make a phone call. Returning a few minutes later, he had a huge smile on his face. Wrapping his arms around me, he spun me in a circle and kissed me.
“Surprise! I’m staying.” he said.
I was shocked. “What?”
“I’m staying. I just talked to my family and let them know.”
I was overjoyed that we would have more time together. We danced between the sheets that night and again the following morning. Even better, he was with me when I found the perfect five-bedroom, three-bath home. I put in an offer and was surprised when it was quickly accepted. Within a few hours, I’d signed the papers to make it mine. My dreams were finally coming true. I’d found the perfect job, the perfect house, and the perfect man. I was so thankful.
Ethan went back to Kentucky the next day and I returned home to Northern Virginia. We didn’t let the distance bother us and talked all the time.
“Hey, I want to tell you something,” Ethan said the moment I answered my phone.
“Okay, what is it?”
“Well, it’s a song. I just texted you the link. Listen to it, then call me back and let me know what you think.”
I clicked the link and it was Mali Music’s beautiful ballad, Still. It spoke of love that endured and persevered through hard times. The lyrics resonated in me, filling my heart with joy and hope. Closing my eyes, I let the message sink in. “Love? Does he love me?” I realized I’d spoken out loud and looked around to see if anyone noticed. Taking a deep breath, I returned his call.
“So, what you think?” Ethan asked.
“It’s beautiful. Is that what you feel for me? Love?”
“Maybe.” He drew out the word, jokingly.
“Mmm hmm.” I playfully retorted.
We talked and joked some more. I got another text the second we ended the call.
Ethan: That song is how I feel about you.
Me: I feel that way about you too.
It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t gradual. And we were not officially a couple, yet, but we were falling in love with each other.
It was scary for both of us seeing as how we’d both just extricated ourselves from toxic relationships, so I wasn’t too surprised with the phone call I got from him the next day.
“Hey,” he said sounding pitiful.
“Hey,” I said back nonchalantly.
“I’ve been thinking about you and everything that’s happened. Virginia Beach? It was nice; real nice. Okay, it was amazing; but maybe we should take a step back. Just be friends a little while longer. I need to get out of this mess, first. I need to make sure my old doors are shut tight before opening a new one.”
I was disappointed but I understood, completely. I had lusted him and I may have pushed for too much, too soon. I guess I shouldn’t have told God what and who I wanted and then acted without thinking it through. I have asked God if Ethan was His plan for me.
I got on my knees and prayed for mercy and forgiveness.
Then I asked God if Ethan was the one for me.
I got a response immediately, “Whether he is the one for you or not depends on your actions—yours and his.”
I didn’t really know what God meant, but I vowed to be good and do only good works. I also prayed to know God’s will and live my life accordingly.
I agreed to slow things down, but fate had other ideas.
A few weeks after our adventure in Virginia Beach, Tracy reared her ugly head again. When she heard that Ethan passed the lie detector test, she decided to take matters into her own hands. She told some of her thugged-out cousins that Ethan had molested Devin and the police did nothing. She told them he could cheat a lie detector test because of his time in the Navy. She gave them the address to Naomi’s house—and they went there armed, looking for him.
Luckily enough, Ethan wasn’t there when these dudes came a knocking. Caroline answered the door and tried to reason with them, letting them know that Ethan was a corpsman for the Navy and was never trained how to cheat a lie detector test. The cousins didn’t buy it, though, and vowed to get him. Ethan refused to put Caroline and his mom in that kind of danger, so he called me and asked if he could stay with me indefinitely.
I thought about it for a minute. “Why didn’t Caroline call the police?”
Ethan responded anxiously, “I asked her that too. She said that she was afraid that if she told, they would come after her too. Babe, they from the South and don’t trust police. You call the police asking for help and suddenly you are the culprit and they pin stuff on you, too.”
I understood. I had a few bad experiences with cops up North but knew it was way worse in the South.
We really tried to take things slow until he got out of his mess, but he needed a place to stay. I knew the temptation would be too great, but I also knew Ethan needed me. The first time he stayed with me, it was all good. Okay, it was difficult being that close to a man I was that attracted to without sneaking into his room to get a little sumthin’-sumthin’. Whew, and I didn’t even know what I was missing yet. After our time in Virginia Beach I sure knew; I had eaten the forbidden fruit in our little Garden of Eden. We crossed that line and I didn’t regret it one bit. Making love to him was delicious. I wanted to cross that line again and again, but God never did tell me having sex with Ethan was okay. Resisting temptation would be harder the second time around.
I prayed about it and immediately the story of Rahab came to mind. Rahab was a prostitute in Jerusalem, and she obliged when two Israelite spies came knocking on her door to seek refuge—and to check out what was going on in Canaan before the Israelite invasion. She saved their lives and, as a result, her life and her family’s lives were spared. She also ended up marrying an Israelite leader, and their son Boaz married Ruth—yes that Ruth—making Rahab King David’s great-great-grandmother. And, from that lineage came Jesus Himself. I took that as a hint I should let him stay, so I told him it was okay and he moved in the following week.
He initially stayed in a separate room so that temptation would not overcome us. But that didn’t last very long. Passion filled us and soon we were staying in the same room, in the same bed, and engaging in love making frequently.
Living with Ethan was great. Just like before, we got along very well and had a lot of fun together. And there were some side benefits, orgasmic benefits, making our time together enjoyable. We had a lot of things in common. We loved the same type of music and often shared songs we liked with one another. We both loved to exercise, which we both found more fun when we did it together. We had similar political views, so we were thoroughly entertained watching the craziness on the news, then discussing the day’s events and debating what the future held. We had a similar sense of humour, so our days and nights were often filled with jokes and laughter. We went on dates and had a blast, or we’d hang out at home and have even more fun.
We both honoured family and valued having fun with the kids, so we made it a point to involve them. I still got Jordan and Jasmine every other weekend, so we planned at least one fun outing when they stayed with us. We went to the park, the zoo, the pool, the mall, or to the movies. Sometimes we’d just stay home and have a karaoke night, or a family game night, or a silly dance competition. I know he missed his own kids and I wished, hoped, and prayed that one day soon they could both come visit and join in all the fun.
He made my life so much easier. He was diligently looking for work but hadn’t found a job, yet. I wondered why someone with such great credentials and education had such a hard time. Then Ethan reminded me that Tracy had flooded social media with obscene accusations and allegations about him. It was ruining his name. Any time a company performed a routine search, they got link after link of Tracy’s posts raging about what a horrible person he was and how the police were investigating him for molestation and solicitation of murder. It was ruining any chance that he’d find a decent job.
Being unemployed meant Ethan had a lot of time on his hands, so he did almost all the housework. Each morning, he woke up at the same time I did and made me coffee and breakfast. I came home every night to a warm, home-cooked meal. And when the kids were here, we sat and ate together as a family. We talked to the kids about what was going on in their lives and, after dinner, he gave me the opportunity to relax while he cleaned the kitchen and got the kids ready for bed. Sometimes, I felt guilty, like he was doing way too much and I was acting way too spoiled. So, I pitched in with the chores, even when he said it wasn’t necessary.
After the kids went to bed, we’d often talk or read a book together, or watch TV…or make love. We had great conversations and talked about anything and everything. We never fought, but there were times when we disagreed about things. But even our disagreements were congenial, we just talked things out and worked out a compromise. I loved that he respected my opinions and cared about what I thought. And I loved the insights that he gave me when he shared his opinions.
He held me every night while I quickly fell asleep because his touch was so comforting. If my muscles were sore, he’d give me a massage. And I returned the favour. I also knew he had lost almost everything, so I often brought home “gifts” to fill in the gaps. He always told me I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. I was so appreciative of everything he did—I loved him and that was my way of showing him how much.
We were both trying to grow spiritually, so we prayed together every night before bed. We often read the Bible, sharing the scriptures we knew and lessons we each learned from them. It was the best relationship I had ever been in. He was quickly becoming one of my best friends.
To top it all off, he paid me three hundred dollars in rent each month. He still had his retirement and disability income, but most of it went to his kids. He usually only kept two hundred dollars to pay his bills, but he gave the rest to me.
I knew he needed the money, so I told him he didn’t have to pay because of everything he did to help around the house, but he insisted, complaining he wouldn’t feel like a man if he didn’t contribute monetarily to the household. Like my grandmother always said, “Let a man be a man.” So, I did.
After we moved to Virginia Beach, the first thing we did was search for a church home. We visited dozens of churches, and there were a few that came close, but when I thought about joining them, I’d hear a little whisper from God, “Why are you settling for this church? You know it’s not the right one for you. You are settling for churches the way you used to settle for men. If you hadn’t settled for a man, you would have found the right one sooner.” Each time, I’d look over at Ethan and tell him that it wasn’t the one. I told him I had settled for Terrell instead of waiting for the man I was truly supposed to be with, and that he’d settled for Tracy—and look what that brought. We would have been happy together a lot sooner if we had waited for Mr. and Mrs. Right instead of the ‘Right Now’s we got saddled with. `
But when I walked into Mount Calvary Baptist Church, the Holy Spirit hit me right in
the heart. You know the feeling you get when you fall in love? Your heart skips a beat and you feel joy throughout your body? This church felt like that to me., I could feel the Him all over the place—like a cool flame burning deep in your bones. I felt God’s presence, an almost overwhelming sense of peace and love.
It wasn’t a perfect church, all churches have their flaws; but it was what God led me too. I wasn’t sure why God wanted me to go to that church, but I knew I’d found my new spiritual home. So, I followed His lead. “This is the one,” I whispered to Ethan. I joined two Sundays later but Ethan was a little more reluctant take that leap of faith.
He said, “My family always told me that I was a member of my family’s church in Kentucky, so I shouldn’t go around joining other churches because I already had one. So, the entire time I was in the Navy, I attended church services but never joined a congregation.”
“And I’ve joined a church everywhere I moved,” I countered. “It’s good to have a church home where you live. That way you can actively serve in the church. I have a talent, it’s dancing. That is my job in the body of Christ. If I didn’t join a local church, I wouldn’t be able to share my talent and use it to bring people closer to Christ. I’m not pressuring you to join, but I am asking you to think about it.”
That was a great time in my life. I’ve always had joy in my heart, but I hadn’t felt that happy in years. I had healthy kids, great friends, a great career, the right church, and the right man. Ethan and I were not officially together but, in my heart, he was my man. Life was good.
Then one morning on my way to work, I got a phone call. I didn’t look at the number before answering. “Hello,” I sang happily.
“Hello, Angela.” It was Terrell and my happiness immediately evaporated. I hadn’t heard from him since our divorce was finalized. All three kids had their birthdays and he hadn’t called once nor did he send any birthday presents. He also never sent a dime of child support, yet there he was calling out of the blue.