by Amy Watkins
We had to make up a lie that would make any woman leave. I wrote up some fake emails between Quentin and Ethan where I made it seem like Ethan was confessing that he had molested Devin. I told Tracy that I was able to hack into computers and that is how I got that information, and then I warned her she would have to tell the cops some made-up story about how she got the information because I did not want to go to jail for hacking.
There was no solid evidence, so I didn’t think Ethan would end up in jail. In fact, I hoped that Tracy would be the one to end up in jail for lying to the police. But Tracy was so desperate for money, she refused to leave. She was just more cautious with Devin around Ethan.
Finally, we devised a plan that worked. We attacked Ethan. We sent him an anonymous text claiming Tracy was cheating, and at the same time sent one to Tracy saying that Ethan was cheating. Ethan was in Kentucky, crying over their breakup the next day.
The next step was for Ethan to be my man. But as I got to know Ethan, I realized he was not my type. He was weak, damned man kept crying over some dumb hateful bitch. I liked a strong Black man. Someone with a little thug in them, a little rough around the edges. Ethan was too much of a wuss for me, but Naomi kept trying to push a romantic relationship between us. “You don’t have to like them if they willing to take care of you,” she’d say.
Ethan had money and a serving attitude. He had a master’s degree, a good job, and a retirement check from the military. He could move to Kentucky and take care of me and Naomi. Both Naomi and I could benefit greatly from the relationship.
Ethan was a broken man which made him an easy target. He was lost and looking for something to hold onto. I decided to be the shoulder he needed and give him the advice he needed. He missed his son Devin immensely and considered going back to Tracy because of his son, but I was there to stop that foolishness. Anytime he even thought about going back to Tracy, I made up more lies. I told him that Tracy said she was planning to kill him. I told him that Quentin was sleeping with Tracy and I produced emails and text messages to prove it to him.
The more I talked, the more Ethan drank. One night, he got really fucked up and started talking and crying, and then he kissed me. “Yes,” I thought, “this is it. I got him.”
“I want them to hurt,” he whined. “I want Quentin and Tracy to hurt as much as they hurt me.”
“I want them to hurt too. For all the pain they caused me and you. I want them to hurt. And if we sleep together tonight, we’d be giving them a taste of their own medicine.”
I led him to my bedroom, and we started to undress each other. I never considered that Ethan wouldn’t be able to get it up. He took a few more shots and looked at some porn on his phone. He got a little aroused and entered me doggy style. He gave me about four good pumps, and then he stopped, sat down on the bed, mumbled, “I can’t,” and passed out.
I tried to wake him, but he was out cold, mouth open and snoring. I tried to shake him awake, then tried to jerk him off and get him hard, but nothing worked.
I lay next to him until he woke the next morning. The minute he opened his eyes, I told him that we had a great night together. That we had sex like four times and it was great. He believed me but felt guilty about it. He tried to apologize and tell me that he didn’t see me in a romantic way. I didn’t care, I didn’t see him like that either. Besides, he sucked in bed. Naomi’s plan looked like it was going to fail, until two weeks later when I noticed that my period was a week late.
I didn’t think I could become pregnant. I had unprotected sex with Quentin for months and never had one scare. And when I didn’t get my period on time, I panicked. I bought a home pregnancy test and took it when no one else was in the house. Positive.
I thought I was going to be sick. I thought back, who did I have sex with this past month? Well, there was Orin. He was great in bed, which is why I fucked him on the regular, but he was more broke than I was. He lived with his mom, didn’t have a job, and had nothing going for him. No, I couldn’t have a baby with him.
And there was Anthony, Matthew’s father and Sherril’s husband who I had occasionally dabbled with while Sherril was on long deployments. We slept together a lot earlier in the month, so I doubted it was his. Besides, if I let our little secret out, I’d lose Sherril as a friend and customer. I couldn’t let my largest source of income go.
Then there was Ethan. He was down on his luck, but he did have a retirement check, a disability check, and a nice job.
I told Naomi and Ethan that I was pregnant and that I was sure it was Ethan’s child. Ethan was scared but he decided to stand up and be the good guy Naomi raised him to be. He didn’t even question me. He promised to provide support and to be there for us. I had him right where I wanted him but I never accounted for Tracy’s wrath.
After Ethan left her, she ended up going to the cops and accused Ethan of molesting Devin based on the story I’d concocted. She even fabricated her own story and claimed she walked in on them because she knew that she needed solid evidence to prove criminal activity. Word of mouth wouldn’t cut it and she probably knew I wouldn’t back up her story if she said she heard it from me.
Because of Tracy and her lies, he lost his job and ended up having to pay Tracy more than he could afford. There was nothing left over for me, Naomi, and Trinity.
I refused to admit to Naomi that Ethan might not be Trinity’s father. She’d hate me and I’d lose her, and she was the closest thing to a mother I had ever had. I couldn’t bear losing her, so I maintained the front and I prayed that Ethan truly was Trinity’s father.
But Orin got suspicious after I stopped calling him or answering his calls. We live in a small town, so it wasn’t hard for him to discover I was pregnant. I reassured him he was not the father, but he didn’t buy it. He started coming around more and bringing me food, saying that I needed to feed that baby. He said that he knew that the child was his, and even though he didn’t have much to give, he wanted to be there.
This was an even better opportunity. I could tell both Ethan and Orin they were the father and get money from both of them. I could pay all my bills, upgrade my phone, keep my Lexus, and still get my hair and nails done twice a month. All my needs could be met without having to continue working at the hospital, I just had to keep Orin and Ethan apart.
When Orin started to come around, I made up a lie that Tracy’s goons were looking for Ethan. I knew Ethan would run, and he did. Unfortunately, he ran right into Angela’s arms. I wasn’t threatened at first. I figured she’d be another ho in Ethan’s life that would come and go, but as time went on and she stayed, she became more of a threat.
I hacked Ethan’s phone and started listening to their conversations. Angela was the one who questioned if Ethan was sure the child was his. I couldn’t have her filling Ethan’s head with those theories. If Ethan found out he possibly wasn’t the father, he’d stop sending us money.
Around her, Ethan was led by his dick. That was a dangerous condition for a man to be in. Women are scandalous when they have that kind of control over a man. He could be manipulated into doing almost anything. She could convince him to give her money. She could convince him to abandon us. She could even manipulate him into trying to hurt or kill us.
She acted nice, sweet, and supportive, but it’s women like that you gotta watch out for the most. I didn’t want to be one of those mothers on the evening news, crying cause Trinity’s stepmom killed her and Ethan covered it up. Or worse, I didn’t want to be one of those baby mamas who mysteriously disappeared. And she had that friend, Ronda, who could easily get one of her cousins to take us out. I couldn’t have that. I had to protect myself and Trinity. I made it my mission to get rid of Angela before she got rid of me.
So, for months, Naomi and I texted, talked, wrote, lied, and manipulated Ethan to break him and Angela up. Nothing worked.
I even sent Anthony and his friends up to Virginia to run Ethan off the road and threaten his life if he stay
ed with Angela. It was easy to get Anthony to do what I wanted. All I had to do was threaten him. If he didn’t do it, I’d fill Sherril in on all the times we hooked up. I even threatened to pin Trinity on him. He was more than willing to oblige, but even that didn’t work.
I would have blackmailed Anthony for more money and more favors, but after that incident, Anthony quickly packed up his family and moved. I had no idea where they went. I tried to use my hacking skills to find them, but I failed.
When Ethan went to jail, we figured Angela would get tired of waiting and move on if he stayed in long enough, but she stayed.
Naomi and I convinced them both that we could use his retirement and disability money to get him out of jail if we had access to Ethan’s bank account. He gave us access to everything but we didn’t help him one bit. We needed that money for medical bills, rent, heat, water, food, and clothes.
His little checks weren’t enough to cover everything and neither me nor Naomi were in any condition to go back to work. She had only been in remission for a few years and I was only ten months postpartum.
We both decided to put our utilities, loans, and credit cards in Ethan’s name. All we needed was Ethan’s social security number and driver’s license, which we easily obtained.
To our surprise, Ethan’s credit was so fucked up that we didn’t get approved for much. We could only get a few credit cards, new phones, the cable, internet, and the electric bill switched into his name. We tried to get a car, take out a couple of loans, and transfer our water bill into his name, but we couldn’t. What we got didn’t help very much, but at least it was something.
When Ethan got out of jail, we already had a plan to cover ourselves. We created documents to show that Angela took all his money. We just needed to get him back to Kentucky before Angela could convince him otherwise.
By the time he made his way to Kentucky, he was already under Angela’s spell. He didn’t believe us, even with our documents. He took back ownership of his account and only gave us two hundred a month in support for Trinity. That paltry amount did nothing for us. Our bills were once again piling up. We were at risk of losing everything. Our house, our cars, our electricity, and our cable were all late and they were threatening to foreclose and to cut off service. We needed to find another way.
Naomi pressed me to get on welfare for Trinity. I resisted, but when we had to move from our three-bedroom house into a one-bedroom apartment, I’d reached my limit.
Naomi went down to the welfare office with me. I didn’t know that you had to file for child support to get on welfare, but I was all for it. Ethan needed to pay more than what he was. We couldn’t live off a measly two hundred bucks a month.
“Ethan Conner,” I proudly announced when the social worker asked who Trinity’s father was.
Naomi sat up and proudly smiled when she I said his name.
“Okay, we will make sure this gets processed,” the social worker said after she typed up all the information I had given her about Ethan’s whereabouts.
“So, what happens next?” I asked
“Well, Mr. Conner will get a summons for child support. He can choose to accept responsibility or he can request a paternity test.”
“A paternity test?” I questioned the social worker.
She nodded. “Yes, it is standard procedure. It will all be explained in the letter that will be sent to Mr. Conner.”
I didn’t expect an application for welfare would lead to a request for a paternity test. I was about to object, but I saw how proud Naomi was, and I didn’t want to make her doubt me. I couldn’t back down. I couldn’t let her down, so I played it off and obliged. I just hoped and prayed that Ethan would accept responsibility and not request a test.
I was so filled with anxiety knowing that Ethan had the opportunity to request a paternity test, I called the child support agency daily. The clerk and I were on a first name basis.
“Good afternoon, Caroline.”
“Hey, any word on my case yet?” I’d ask.
“No, not yet. We will let you know if there are any changes.”
“Okay, well I’ll call tomorrow just in case.”
“Yes, ma’am. Have a good day.”
The conversation went like that every day for two weeks, and I prayed every night for a miracle. I knew I had done wrong in my life. I wasn’t perfect. No one is, but would God be cruel enough to prove I was a liar and cause me to lose Naomi, the only person who had ever really loved me like a daughter? Would he actually allow me to lose the family that I had been searching so hard for?
On day fifteen, it happened. “Good afternoon, Caroline.”
“Hey, any word on my case yet?”
“No, not yet…” she answered.
“And you’ll let me know if there are any changes. Right?”
“Yes, ma’am...Oh wait a minute. Caroline?”
“Yes?” my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest.
“There has been an update. Ethan did request a paternity test.”
The words broke my heart. I felt like the walls were caving in and I got lightheaded.
“Caroline? Caroline?” I heard the clerk ask, but I was speechless.
“Um, yes,” I mustered up the words to respond.
“Did you hear me?”
“Um, yes. When is he coming to get the test done?”
“Oh, he already came. It says here that the sample was clocked in about three hours ago.”
I gasped. “Three hours ago?” That meant that Ethan’s ass was still in Kentucky. I hung up the phone without saying thank you or good-bye. I ran and grabbed my keys off the kitchen table where Naomi was sitting and feeding Trinity.
“Caroline? What’s wrong?” Naomi asked, seeing the urgency in my face.
“Come on Ms. Naomi. We gotta go. Ethan’s here.”
“What!? Ethan!? Where is he?”
“I don’t know but we fixin’ to find out.” Naomi snatched Trinity up, tossed some slides on her own feet, and ran out of the door after me. She tossed Trinity in her car seat, jumped in the passenger seat, and we sped off to find Ethan. Naomi sat quietly looking at the road and periodically glanced at me. I could tell she was thinking about what to say and how to say it.
“I figure we’ll look at Quentin’s house first. He ain’t come to Kentucky without seeing his brother,” I declared.
“Okay, cool,” Naomi agreed, sitting back a little more comfortably in her seat.
“Nomi! Nomi!” Trinity called. That was Trinity’s nickname for Naomi. Trinity and Naomi had an unbreakable bond. It would break Naomi’s heart if she found out that Trinity was not her biological granddaughter. I could not let that happen.
I had to find Ethan and put a stop to this paternity test bullshit. But what was I going to do when I saw him? He had already taken the test. Could I force him to go back to the child support office and cancel the test? No, that wouldn’t work. He’d never agree. I could blackmail him and threaten to send Tracy the video of him and Angela having sex if he didn’t comply. No, that probably wouldn’t work, either because it hadn’t before. I could start an argument with him then give him the baby and leave her with him. No…hell no. That wouldn’t work. He’d just take her straight to the child support office and get her tested and abandon her if she wasn’t his. Or he’d take her back to that evil witch Angela and that bitch would hurt my baby. I could kill Ethan. Yeah, run his ass over with my car and make it look like an accident. Then I could let the child support office know the father of my child was deceased and they’d have no choice but to give me welfare. No, that wouldn’t work, the office already had a sample of Ethan’s DNA. They would just run it and find out she wasn’t his child. Then again, maybe it is Ethan’s child and I’m doing all this worrying for nothing.
“Eat, eat,” Trinity hollered.
“Just a minute, baby. We gonna go get your daddy,” Naomi assured her.
“Daddy! Daddy!”
Trinity chanted. She was such a beautiful girl. She was smart and she was a fighter. Even though she was born very prematurely, she was now meeting her milestones like a normal child. She had no disabilities or setbacks. How could Ethan not want her to be his own? Maybe if he saw her or held her again. Maybe he’d love her and decide to take care of her, no matter what. We pulled up to Quentin’s house and Naomi hopped out of the car and rushed to the door. She pounded on the door, “Hey, open up!” she yelled then knocked some more.
Quentin’s wife answered the door, “Ms. Naomi! What brings you here?” Her tone was upset, angry and confused all mixed together. She looked past Naomi and saw me getting Trinity out of the car. I gave her a sarcastic smile but her facial expression betrayed no emotion.
“We lookin’ for Ethan! Where is he?”
“Oh, well, he’s not here,” she responded with a taunting grin.
“Baby!” I heard Quentin calling from inside, “Who at the door knocking like I owe them money?” He was putting on a t-shirt as he walked to the door. I saw his muscular chest and was instantly reminded of how he used to grind his body on mine in the heat of the night. I felt weak, hurt, anxious, and faint.
“Oh shit,” he rolled his eyes when he saw me. “What you want?” he demanded.
Rage and pain filled my heart.
“We lookin’ for Ethan!” Naomi responded.
Quentin chuckled, “Mama! You don’t ever come to visit me, my wife, or my child. What? You done heard Ethan was in town so now you payin’ me a visit? Ethan ain’t here.”
I mustered up the courage to speak. “We know he here. He got this baby he needs to take care of.”
Quentin laughed again.
I was hurt, I was broke, and I had a baby that needed to be taken care of—yet to him, this was all a joke. My rage grew. I looked at Quentin’s wife who was standing behind him with her arms crossed and a smile on her face. She was taunting me. My pain was her pleasure.
“Look around!” Quentin said, “You see his car anywhere?”
“Let us come in and look,” I demanded.