by Peter Carey
The moment he stood I sat down in my chair so when he returned he had no choice but move his mug and spoon to a new position the girls was most amused. Soon all except Bill Frost was eating happily but he would rather use his mouth to criticise me for my own imprisonment. You got to consider Ned said he them lawyers’ bills is a terrible burden on your mother.
Dan spilled his milk it flooded across the table dripping through the planks onto the children’s knees so my mother started for the skillion.
Jesus Christ said Bill Frost sit down will you Ellen?
My father would never have spoke to my mother in this way but Ellen Kelly did not rebuke Bill Frost it were a terrible thing to see her bullied by so weak a man. No need for anyone to worry about them lawyers’ bills she said she wrung a rag into a bucket.
Why Ellen said he slyly I never saw you so carefree about 5 guineas.
My mother wiped up the milk. It were 4 guineas Bill.
Ah 4 guineas! Only!
My mother sat down picking up the tea pot she found it empty so she stood once more without complaint and threw the leaves out the door and went to the fire to pour fresh boiling water in the pot. Bill Frost watched her all this time.
Who paid them 4 guineas? He were looking at me as he spoke I thought what a weasel I would like to pull his beaky nose.
Who said it were paid? said my mother the tea were yet to brew but still she filled her cup. Thats how I knew he had her shaken.
Bill Frost turned his lizard eyes upon the cup. Said he I hope you aint been accepting gifts from Harry Power.
My mother sipped tea in silence Bill Frost peering sideways at her like a chook about to peck a cabbage stalk.
Eat up Ellen.
My mother’s stew had a skin from waiting for the spoon so long. She ate as ordered.
I suppose you think I’m an ignorant sort of fellow Ellen.
Frost’s tone had turned so poisonous I began to rise in my seat but Mother quickly placed her hand on the boundary rider’s hairy wrist. I would never think you ignorant dear.
As for me I could not stomach this conversation and left my food in favour of the air outside. Jem and Dan quickly come along and Jem and me was soon teaching the little fellow how to hit a ball with a stick. Dan were a fierce and determined little b––––r he would not give up until the darkness beat him.
That night I woke to hear my mother crying and Bill Frost talking very low. I spent a lifetime learning not to see or hear what werent my business but when Bill Frost called my mother Harry Power’s whore I could not be deaf no more. As I rose from my crib I felt Maggie’s hand upon my arm she tried to restrain me but when I rushed from behind my curtain she come with me.
Don’t call our mother bad words she said she were no coward.
Shutup go back to sleep.
Apologise I said or I will break your nose.
As Frost rose slowly to greet us I realised he were blotto I were not sorry for this handicap he had a longer reach. I’ll apologise he said his voice were very slurred he kneeled and took my mother’s hand.
Bill Bill no Bill please.
I beg your forgiveness Ellen said he for everything I ever said or done without exception. Them was his words but there was such an air of threat and nastiness about him I could not predict what he might do next. Ah Ned said he and he held out his hand but even as we shook his dull pale eyes was filled with malice. I thank you Ned yes I thank you most sincerely.
With that he took his hat and stepped out into the night my mother calling piteously after him.
Maggie Maggie fetch Bill back.
Maggie wouldnt budge so my mother turned to me her cheeks was wet and shining.
Don’t go Maggie said.
You effing get him cried my mother if you don’t do nothing else for me do this. You go get him and say you’re sorry. We’ll starve without his wages.
Then we heard a horse galloping full tilt down the track my mother collapsed onto the floor in great torment.
He’s the father of my babe cried she.
Very well I said I’ll fetch the mongrel.
There was a good moon so I found him easy enough he were no longer galloping but walking his horse in the direction of his employment.
I told him my mother had asked me to apologise and he would be wise to give her that impression. For my own part I could only say that if he ever abandoned her I would come and shoot him while he slept.
I saw his reptile eyes in the moonlight staring at me. He didnt say a word but together we turned riding slowly back towards my home.
The next morning was like nothing never happened it were unseasonably hot my mother took a hair of the dog but Frost declared he had a hankering for shooting kangaroos there were a big grey b––––r he had his eye on we sometimes saw him come right down to the creek beside the hut. My mother were poorly she said it was too adjectival hot for shooting anything but Bill Frost went ahead cleaning his fowling piece his eyes was bloodshot but that were normal he didnt act like a man threatened with murder the night before.
Jem and Dan and me went with him along Futter’s Range the twigs and leaves snapping like bone beneath our heavy bluchers. We found the kangaroos awaiting us in the shade of an old river gum they watched us approach not knowing the part we would play in their history.
On our return I helped Bill Frost salt down a great quantity of meat my mother’s eyes was dark and apprehensive. The night were airless Bill Frost announced that his employer Mr Simson wished him to draft a mob of cattle down to the Haymarket in Melbourne so when he went to work on the morrow he would be away from us for 7 days. This were in no way unusual he had done it many times before.
In all the leave taking on Monday morning my mother were a little too jolly running to the cow pasture to get a dandelion for his shirt she were teasing him about all the fine ladies he would see in Collins Street but once he were on the track towards Laceby she took straight to her bed.
I come to her side she said her life was gone to smash she knew Bill Frost would not return.
I thought she would get over it but as the days passed her spirits did not improve soon she could barely eat her eyes was sunk deeper in her head I could not guess what she were thinking. Neither could I bear to see her misery it were a torture worse than any I could imagine worse than prison in Benalla certainly.
7 days my mother lay on her back with her hands resting on her womb. Bill Frost were due back on the 8th day but when we finally heard a horse come through the creek she never stirred and it were me that ran out into the light to discover a v. lively stallion ridden by a wispy sort of boy.
He trotted on towards me he wore short pants his legs no thicker than the handle of a hoe. Ah thought I Bill Frost has sent a message.
Are you Ned he called. His naked feet was a good 10 in. long so I looked up into his face to see what sort of being this were he had a worn out little face his blue eyes very faded the kind you see in the children of old fathers.
I asked Are you from Bill Frost?
For answer he offered a brown envelope held out with fingers which was long and slender as little sticks.
Inside the envelope were a letter and a crisp new one pound note I assumed were from Bill Frost it were only when I read POWND FOR MA. GO WITH BOY that I understood I were being summonsed by Harry Power.
Jesus! I were so disgusted that I picked up a broken demijohn and hurled it out into the yard.
It aint far said the boy.
If he were at effing Greta it would be too far.
Its further than Greta the boy admitted.
To Hell with him.
I opened the note and read again POWND FOR MA I had vowed never again to serve Harry Power.
Whats he effing want?
I don’t know said the boy don’t the note say?
I read the note a 3rd time POWND FOR MA it were only then I began to think that Harry were very soft on my ma I thought he would do anything to help her.
&nbs
p; Wait here I told the boy I won’t be 1/2 a mo.
Inside our hut my mother were lying in her crib with all manner of coats and dresses and blankets piled on top of her. From this nest I removed an old brown oilskin coat that were my da’s I put it on.
Ma I’m going to bring Bill back to you.
My mother give me a smile but it were very weary she hardly had the strength to make it. We had a crooked old fowling piece only good for frightening sparrows and this I slung round my back then found some balls and 4 percussion caps and a powder flask which was easily accommodated in the big pockets of the coat. Finally I kissed my mother on the cheek and give her the pound note.
This is from Harry Ma he’s going to help me find Bill.
Dear Harry said my mother dear silly old b––––r.
Having kissed my mother once more I found Maggie and told her my plan then without no waste of time I saddled up my mother’s bay. All the while the stallion were sniffing and snorting he could not wait to leave the boy spoke to him in a soft sweet voice.
Then straight away we was at a gallop I were a horseman myself fearless as any youngster will be but that other boy were an adjectival wonder he led me down 2 steep escarpments that took my breath away God Jesus save us to think of the things we did when young.
We went through Greta in a cloud of dust cutting across country through Oxley and Tarrawingee and along the way I shot 2 good sized rabbits with the fowling piece the boy was v. queer he did not often speak but he said I were a good shot and in turn I told him I never knew a better rider than himself. After 2 1/2 hours riding we came to a very pretty farmhouse by a track the yards was neat and well made a barn and a shed for chickens and housing for the pigs and the fenceposts was all mortised. This was where the boy lived though he did not tell me that. When we went inside the house the floorboards was polished and there were a room set aside specially for eating it had white curtains on the window a jar full of roses sitting on the table.
In a 2nd room of chairs and sofas I presented the rabbits to the boy’s mother she were very pleased removing them straight away into the kitchen with the promise she would stew them for our dinner.
I asked where were Mr Power they said he would be along directly but I waited a long time and Harry did not appear and the boy started jumping chair to chair around the dining table it were a very queer game and I could see his mother were frightened of him she would not stop it. Often he touched the ceiling with his strange thin fingers although later I thought I must of imagined this for the ceilings were 13 ft. high.
After a long time a v. pretty girl come along she was perhaps 14 that is 2 yr. my junior but already showing a womanly shape and she folded her arms across her chest when she saw me looking at her. Having sisters of my own I knew to look away.
After a time she asked would I like to see their cattle. She could show me a valley she said where there were no drought. She had long dark hair and bright and lively eyes so I thought I might as well I followed her across a sandy creek then up a rise we climbed up great shelves of granite to the rocky top below which were a sheltered hollow with grass so green it were beyond belief I could of lived there all my life. The small herd of cattle were all fat and gleaming it is always such a lovely thing to see proof of what contentment the colony might provide if there is ever justice. I asked how old her brother were she said he werent her brother then I asked where Mr Power were she said not to fret he would turn up bye and bye. She said her name were Caitlin.
She held out her hand so I could help her off the rock and her hand were very warm and she led me down a steep wall she knew the way but seemed to need my hand to guide her. Soon we come across the source of all the greenery it were a spring seeping from the rocks it were cool and dark with ferns growing from the crevices. Here we sat together side by side I were very happy for a while.
The people at this house turned out to be particularly kind. The mother shown herself a mighty cook she soon give us steamed pudding with jam sauce and yellow custard I never seen such a treat in all my life. I were 1/2 way through my 2nd helping when the door swung open and there stood Harry Power Esq. He had shaved his beard off it were disturbing to see his naked phiz revealed the jaw too long the mouth would not give a smile unless compelled to. It was such a hard square head as you see in prisons it were made by hammering and burning.
Come out the back he said I want a word with you Ned Kelly.
On the back veranda Harry were holding out my elastic sided boots. When last I saw them boots they was muddied and sodden but the old wombat had been to work on them and that surprised me mightily for he had a great aversion to menial labour. If this were meant to be apology or payment he did not say but he had scraped and oiled and dubbined them until they was soft as a lady’s purse.
Here said he tossing them to me I reckon you forget these when you run away.
I looked into his hard old face but did not see the slightest flicker.
There was nothing for me to do but sit down to pull the boots on. My feet must of grown for now they pinched my toes.
Comfy?
Yes Harry.
You can try them out with bringing round my horse.
I were pledged not to take his orders no more but fair is fair I did require his assistance in the matter of Bill Frost so I went to the paddock hunting down his poor old switchtailed mare then I found his saddle abandoned on a stile and did the duty he required of me.
Where’s your own nag he said when I come back. Jesus lad the light is wasting.
I didnt say goodbye yet.
Eff goodbye said he you go and get your effing horse.
I walked back down through the thick green pasture and found and saddled my own horse but still did not mount though I could feel Harry’s growing fury at my dawdling. I suppose it were the girl that done it to me for I walked slowly up towards the house admiring all the neat fencing and the fat black cattle making their way from the river to the bails. Of course Harry were already mounted his gleaming pistols stuck plainly in his thick brown belt. His pipe were clenched in that long strong jaw he had previously hid beneath his beard.
Get on the horse said he.
He did not understand I were now too old to be talked to in this manner I made no move until I saw he was about to welt me then I spoke.
My ma needs your help.
Ah said he and everything about him changed.
Bill Frost is bolted to Melbourne. My ma is awful upset.
He almost smiled. You reckon do you?
Yes I reckon.
Harry pulled his pipe in 1/2 then blew a long stream of thick black spit out the stem. He seemed v. pleased as he always were when about to prove another man a fool.
Well said he now here is the latest. Bill Frost never went to adjectival Melbourne.
He’s there I know it.
By the 5 crosses he aint.
By the 5 crosses he is.
By the powers of death he aint. He is at Peter Martin’s Star Hotel in Wangaratta and he has been there all this week not 10 mi. away.
You seen the b– – – – r?
Maguire had the pleasure.
I don’t know Maguire.
Well you tried to murder him at Oxley the night you lost your boots but apart from that its true you don’t know a tinker’s fart about him. Maguire has seen our Bill and reports the man is having a great old rort him and his new sheila Brigit Cotter.
I never heard of her.
Well when the man aint shagging her he’s in the public bar entertaining all the punters with how Ned Kelly threatened to shoot him. O I see you blush. He is making an adjectival fool of you with that story by now it is knowed by everyone in Wangaratta.
It were a sweet spring evening now but I had reason to recall Bill Frost’s lizard eyes in the moonlight it had been a dull malicious way he stared at me.
That is why I sent for you said Harry.
Its exactly why I come said I we was both thinking the same though
t.
O I doubt it son I really do.
He’s a dreadful mongrel but she’s very bad without him. I need to bring him back.
No said Harry his voice were almost gentle that is the scheme you wanted when you was ignorant but now you know that Frost has been unfaithful to your ma. He has a new donah and you know what he is saying about your own self.
He’s a b–––––d but my mother has a baby coming.
We can look after your ma said Harry but 1st you have to attend to Frost you aint got a da to tell you this so let me do the honour you cannot let him make a jackass of you.
There aint nothing I can do.
O aint there?
What he says is right I did say I would shoot him if he bolted.
He makes out you are a coward is that right too? Are you a coward?
Don’t say that Harry. You know I aint.
Then you know what you must do.
I looked into them hard old eyes and saw the deed that lay ahead of me it were a horror no one could wish but now I knew there were no choice.
Yes I know what must be done.
Leaving the dusk in the valley we had just regained the sunlight on the crest when we was violently confronted by a horse and cart it come swinging round the corner with a short old fellow standing on the buggy seat like something in a circus he had a clay pipe clenched between his teeth and his whip were roiling a great cloud of dust pushing it down the road ahead of him. We only just escaped his path but then he saw us he whoaed up and when the confusion were all settled I realised it were Mr B. I will use that initial although it is not the right one for he were a poor selector known to both of us. His wife had passed away not long previous.
Mr B. had finally pulled up 1/2 way down the hill so I called a greeting as I rode towards him but he would not answer I reckoned he were cutting me. He spoke only to Harry using his 1st name many times as if proud to be as friendly with him as he were disdainful of myself. His information were that Bill Frost had departed Wangaratta for Beechworth and when I realised Mr B. had flogged his swaybacked nag into the ground for the sole purpose of bringing Harry the news I began to see the size of event I had precipitated.