She looked into his eyes in a way that made it impossible for him to look anywhere else. “I was hoping you’d realize that night with me…that night with Wild,” she said, “that wasn’t it.”
Chapter Fourteen
Wild was sitting on the couch playing video games when Mad came in the front door and grunted, “Hey.”
“What’s up? Decide to stay and close up?” Wild asked. Normally, Mad would’ve been home hours ago. And while Mad had a life outside of Wild, the events of the past couple weeks had put Wild on edge. Which was why he was playing video games at eleven p.m. on a weeknight when he had to open the gym at five the next morning.
Plopping down on the recliner, Mad leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “Drove around for a while. I needed to think about a few things.”
Wild paused the game and tossed the controller on the coffee table. “Anything you want to talk about?”
Mad let out a dry laugh before saying, “Not really. But I should anyway.” After a few more seconds, he sat up straighter and looked at Wild. “Are you into Jaz? I know you said you were attracted to her, but are you actually into her? Beyond sex?”
Wild bristled at the question but struggled not to show it. Realistically, he couldn’t blame Maddox for asking. Wild hadn’t ever been one for long-term commitment. He liked to live impulsively, something a relationship severely hampered. It wasn’t that he couldn’t be faithful. He just didn’t have any desire to be. But Mad suggesting he was only into Jaz as far as he could hit it and quit it rankled. “Yeah. I’m into her beyond sex. Though, I mean…I’m not imagining white picket fences or any shit like that. I just mean, my feelings, they’re beyond casual.”
Mad sighed heavily. “Yeah. Mine too.”
They sat there in silence for a moment, Wild wondering where that left them and Mad likely thinking the same.
“Could you do it?” Mad finally asked.
“Do what?” Wild asked, confused.
“Share her with me. Is that something you could really do?”
Wild thought for a second. His knee-jerk reaction was to say no because he knew that was probably what Mad wanted to hear. Maddox had probably driven around for hours questioning everything he knew about himself and come up with no answers he liked. Wild saying that he couldn’t do what Jaz was asking of them would let Mad off the hook. He wouldn’t have to confront the truth of what he wanted if Wild nixed the idea outright. But the hesitance was Mad’s fear talking, and Wilder couldn’t validate it. Wouldn’t, because it wasn’t the truth. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it would take some getting used to, but I don’t think it would be a deal breaker for me.”
Rubbing his hands over his face, Mad groaned. “I just… I don’t know what I think about it. Part of me thinks it’s fucking nuts to even think about, but then another part of me, the part that remembers what it was like to watch her with you at that club, isn’t bothered by it. It’s fucking confusing.”
“Tell me this,” Wild said. “When you think back on that night, is any part of you angry at me for kissing her? Did you want to pull her away from me? Push me away? Anything?”
Mad sat there a second before slowly shaking his head. “No. I think with anyone else I would’ve been. But with you, I dunno. We’ve been sharing things for almost ten years. It felt…natural to share that too. And I know it’s different. That she’s a person and that it’s a fuck-ton more complicated than sharing a pizza or some shit. But it felt…okay.”
“Just okay?” Wild prompted.
“God, you’re annoying. Fine, asshole, it felt…not as awkward as I thought. Like what we were doing was totally okay.”
“Maybe there’s a reason for that.”
Mad snorted. “Or maybe this is a fucked-up situation destined to go FUBAR at any moment.”
Laughing, Wild said, “That’s possible too. But we won’t know if we don’t try. And Mad? I want to try. I think we’ll always regret it if we don’t.” He said it with conviction, knowing Mad needed at least one of them to be sure.
“It can’t mess up our friendship, Wild. I can lose a lot of things, but you’re not one of them.”
“If you think you’re ever getting rid of me, you’ve lost your goddamn mind.”
“I can’t believe I’m going to do this,” Mad muttered.
“I don’t know why. I’ve convinced you to do all sorts of shit over the years.” Wild hoped his joke would break some of the tension in the room and was relieved when Mad laughed.
“I can’t… I don’t want people to know, though,” Mad said. “Does that make me an asshole?”
“I think it makes you a responsible business owner. Which one of us has to be, and we both know it can’t be me.”
Maddox laughed again and stood. “Okay. Let’s go get our girl.”
Wild leaped up, a spring in his step as he followed Mad out to his car so they could do just that.
Jaz lay in bed and scrolled through Instagram, trying to will herself to be tired. Most of the time, looking at the screen helped tire her eyes out. Probably not the healthiest way to fall asleep, but effective. Usually. After her talk with Maddox—and the bombshell he’d dropped on her—he’d excused himself without saying anything more.
She couldn’t picture Mad contemplating suicide. The very thought of it made her chest ache. And while she was nearly desperate to know the story there, she also knew she’d never ask. If Mad wanted to share more with her, she’d listen with open ears and an open heart. But if not, then she was just going to have to accept that.
Unable to resist, she went to Wild’s Instagram page. Mad didn’t have one, but he didn’t really need one with the presence he had on Wild’s page. She swiped through picture after picture, focusing on the ones featuring both of them. Her eyes began to sting as she thought about how much she wanted to be part of that. Part of them. She wanted to make goofy faces with Wild as she hung off Mad’s arm: the storm and the rock. Though with the new information she’d learned today, they clearly switched roles from time to time. And she could see it. As she thought back over the time she’d known them, she recognized how Mad leaned on Wild and how Wild remained solid for his friend.
Wild was impulsive and chaos incarnate, but at his core he was steady, consistent. She’d called him a study in contrasts, and she hadn’t been kidding. What she hadn’t realized was how much Mad was the same. His constant control was clearly something hard-earned—and perhaps something he lost from time to time.
She sighed as she continued to look through Wild’s feed. A loud banging on her door caused her to startle, dropping her phone on the comforter and sitting up quickly. Her heart rate kicked up a few thousand notches as she stared at the doorway of her bedroom. The banging came again, but this time she could also make out voices. Voices that seemed to be yelling at one another.
Her phone dinged with an alert. It’s us. I told Wild to stop banging on your door, but he’s a dumbass. Can you let us in? Also, sorry if we woke you up. The text from Mad had her springing out of bed and running to the front door. She unlocked the deadbolt and slid open the chain before throwing the door open to reveal the two most beautiful men she’d ever seen. Not that she’d say that out loud. “Do you two know how to tell time?”
“Did we wake you?” Wild asked.
“Well, no, but—”
“Then stop making a big deal out of nothing,” Wild said with a teasing grin. “Can we come in?”
She stepped back, and the two men walked past her, Mad giving her a lingering look that nearly melted the panties off her body. Thank God she had on sleep shorts. “So, not that I don’t love late-night surprises, but do you guys want to tell me what you’re doing here?” she asked, willing her voice to not sound hopeful. But come on. It was after eleven thirty on a weeknight. This had to mean something. Right?
Mad rubbed a hand over his close-cropped hair. “I’m not sure where to start.”
Wild rolled his eyes. “For Christ’s sake. Let’s not make this more compl
icated than we already have. We want to do the thing. That you said. Or we want to try, at least.”
Jaz’s heart leaped at his words, but she forced herself to remain calm. “Can you be more specific about the, um, thing you’re referring to?”
Wild opened his mouth, but Mad’s next words cut him off. “Dating. We would both like to…date you. If that’s still something you want?”
“Yeah.” Her voice sounded breathless, but she didn’t have it in her to care. “Yeah, I still want that.”
“Thing is,” Mad continued. “I’m not sure I can do it the way you saw it. I can maybe get over the fact that you’re also hanging out with Wild, but I’m not sure I can be there to watch it. It’s…weird to me. For all of us to go out on a date, I mean. I think I need the separation. Is that… Would that work for you?”
Jaz wanted to yell that she’d take them any way she could have them, but she didn’t want to seem eager like a child on Christmas morning. She had to play this cool. “Whatever you’re comfortable with. I do think it’s important that we keep the lines of communication open, make sure everyone is aware of how things are going. And we have to promise one another that we’ll be honest about how we’re feeling. I don’t think this can work otherwise.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Wild agreed. “I mean, I’m not sure we need to get into specifics about our relationships. But a general idea of how we’re all doing is a good idea.”
Mad cleared his throat. “In the interest of being honest, I want to say that I may royally suck at this. I can count the number of serious relationships I’ve had on one hand. I tend to fuck things up when I’m dealing with a more…traditional relationship. I’m not sure I’ll fare any better at this. But I want to try.”
“None of us has been in a position like this before. We’re all going to have allow for a pretty steep learning curve, I think,” Jaz said. Though she had explored the concept of polyamory, she didn’t have any firsthand experience. Something she hoped to rectify now.
“And if it’s not working, then we need to be honest about that,” Wild said, his voice firm. “If shit starts going downhill, we have to put a stop to it before we fuck up our friendships. I’m all for experimenting and having some fun and seeing where this attraction can take us, but not at the expense of our friendships. I won’t risk that.”
Jaz wasn’t sure she liked Wild calling what they were about to embark on an “experiment” or “some fun.” In her mind, it was going to be a helluva lot more than that. But she didn’t want to spook him. It was better to let things grow organically than to try to force her image of how things should be onto them. Especially since she didn’t really know how things should be. “I agree,” she said simply. “So, what do we do now?”
Everyone laughed, Jaz included.
“How about you and I start with dinner tomorrow night?” Mad said.
“Yeah, and there’s a new place that’s basically an arcade for adults we could go to. Maybe Friday?” Wild asked her, sounding like someone had just told him he could have a puppy. They were both looking at her expectantly, hope radiating from each of them.
There was so much at risk here but so much to gain as well. And Jaz was a glass-half-full kinda girl. “I say let’s do it.”
Chapter Fifteen
Maddox surreptitiously tugged at his collar, trying to loosen the knot of his tie a bit. Jesus, was it hot in here or was it just him? He glanced around the upscale French restaurant, feeling as though eyes were on him. He felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb—like everyone there knew he was pretending to be sophisticated and failing miserably.
The waiter brought them a bottle of sparkling water, handed Maddox a wine list, and reviewed the specials before saying he’d give them a moment to look over the wine selection. Maddox watched the guy walk away as if he had clouds strapped to his feet, floating to the next table with an elegant air about him that made Mad feel even more out of place. Feeling bested by the waiter did not bode well for the rest of the evening.
Mad’s gaze darted to Jaz, who looked stunning in a burgundy strapless dress. She looked amazing. “Do you prefer red or white wine?” he asked, skimming the wine selection like he knew what the hell he was looking at.
“You choose,” Jaz said. The hesitance in her voice made him look up at her. She was scanning the restaurant, taking it all in, her eyes a bit wide. When she let her gaze settle back on him, she said, “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he replied, surprised that he meant it.
“Why are we here?”
Maddox startled a bit at her question and then set down the black book with the drinks in it. “Because I asked you to dinner and you said yes.”
“No, I know that. I mean why are we here?”
“Is there somewhere else we should be?” he asked, confused.
“Yes. Like maybe somewhere I can actually read the menu.” Her lips kicked up at the corners as she spoke. “This place is nice. More than nice, it’s beautiful. But it’s not…us.”
Mad inhaled sharply at her words, taken aback by her referring to them as an “us.” Granted, he knew they were on a date and therefore logically constituted an “us,” but there was more to it than that. More in her tone that made him feel that they were an actual unit, a pairing that wasn’t simply seeing if they were compatible but that compatibility was a foregone conclusion. It both thrilled and scared him.
Just as Mad opened his mouth to answer her, the waiter returned. “Have you chosen a wine to accompany your meal, or would you like me to recommend something?”
Mad stared at the man as his brain tried to think of what to say. Frustration began to bubble up in him as his desire to impress Jaz ran smack into the reality that he clearly didn’t have the ability to do that. His mind seemed to scramble, making it impossible for him to pick out a coherent thought in the melee. He looked over at Jaz, sure he was going to see embarrassment all over her face because her date was evidently fucking incapable of ordering a bottle of wine.
But that was not what he saw.
When their gazes collided, he saw Jaz actually relax instead of tense up. She seemed to be forcing her lips into a flat line as if she was trying to fight a smile, and the look in her eyes was amused. Was she…laughing?
Oddly enough, it was exactly what he needed. This posh fucking restaurant, with its robotic servers and upper-crust clientele, wasn’t his scene—wasn’t either of their scenes. And Mad didn’t have to be embarrassed by not fitting in there, because he didn’t want to fit in there. It wasn’t anything against the people enjoying their meals, but like Jaz had said, it wasn’t them. And he didn’t want it to be.
Jaz tilted her head slightly and looked up at the waiter. “I think we need a few more minutes.”
The waiter nodded and began to back away, but Mad stopped him. “Actually, I think we’re going to try somewhere else. Thanks anyway.” Then Mad was out of his chair and pulling Jaz’s out so she could stand as well. They wasted no time walking toward the exit and out onto the street.
As soon as they hit the sidewalk, Jaz faced skyward and inhaled deeply before turning to Maddox and smiling widely at him. “Thank God you got us out of there. I was worried they were going to sneak snails into my food or something.”
Maddox laughed. “Sorry about that. Not sure what I was thinking.”
She put a hand on his arm and looked up at him in a way that Mad could only call adoringly. “You were thinking that you wanted to impress me, and I’m flattered and appreciative. But promise me you’ll never do it again.”
Maddox laughed again, grabbing the hand that was on his arm and threading their fingers together. “Noted. Is there somewhere else you’d like to eat?”
She bit the inside of her cheek and studied him. “I may have heard about a food truck festival that’s happening this week on the other side of town. But if you tell Wilder, I’ll call you a liar to your face.”
He started moving them in the direction of h
is truck. “That’s really where you want to go?” Maddox didn’t want her to suggest something simple just because she thought he’d be more comfortable there. He wanted to make sure she enjoyed their date so that she’d want to go on more of them.
“Hell yes. Everything there is going to be so bad for us. It’ll be amazing.”
Maddox chuckled. “I swear, I could kiss you right now.”
Jaz stopped abruptly, jerking Mad to a stop. He looked at her curiously until she said in barely more than a whisper, “You could, you know?”
Maddox turned so he was facing her and stepped closer so that their bodies were almost touching but not quite. “Could what?” he asked because he wanted to be sure, didn’t want to misread a single thing, because he couldn’t blow this, whatever this was, with Jaz.
“Kiss me.” Her voice was low and breathy as she kept her eyes on his.
Maddox shuffled slightly closer, letting his body brush against hers. He felt her breath catch as her chest hitched against his. It felt as if everything slowed down—like one of those movies where everything races around the couple but they’re being filmed in slow motion. The people walking past them, the cars whizzing by, it all blurred around them as Maddox kept his eyes on Jaz’s as they both leaned toward one another.
When their lips connected, Mad’s eyes slammed shut, as if he needed to shut down all of his other senses so he could immerse himself in this one. The feel of her lips, pliant beneath his, made his pulse quicken. He darted his tongue out to swipe over her bottom lip, and when she opened for him, he couldn’t help but take it deeper. Bringing a hand up to cradle her jaw, Maddox let his tongue sweep into her mouth and tangle with hers, their kiss growing frenzied and passionate in milliseconds.
He knew this wasn’t their first kiss, but it felt like it. The ones in the club had been driven by sexual tension and raw need. But this one was altogether different. Not because the tension and need weren’t there—they sure as hell were—but there was also…more. Because they’d laid all their cards on the table already, neither of them had to wonder what this kiss meant.
Misadventures in a Threesome Page 10