‘Really? You honestly think that?’
‘Absolutely. It just makes me wonder why you hesitated when we were talking about making a list and then you moved onto this? Surely this is a positive thing; a reason to say yes.’
‘That’s what I was a bit scared of.’
‘But didn’t you say it was your dream job?’
‘I did … it is … oh heck…’
Their eyes locked, electricity crackled in the air around them, the undeniable connection they shared pulling Zander towards her. He reached out and cupped his hand around the back of her head, his lips tentatively brushing hers, sending his pulse racing around his body.
‘No!’ She pulled back, her voice startling him. ‘Please don’t, I can’t. Not now. I’m sorry.’ She stood up and scurried off upstairs, leaving Zander kicking himself for reading thing so wrong.
Frustrated, he pushed his fingers into his hair. Jesus! What the hell did I tell myself about taking things slowly? I’m such a turkey! Why can’t I stop being so bloody impetuous? I never learn! Arghh!
39
Livvie
Livvie threw herself on her bed, buried her face in the pillow and screamed silently into it. Stupid me! Stupid, stupid, stupid me! Why, oh why did I pull away? That gentle brush of Zander’s lips had felt soft and delicious, sending a bolt of red hot lust raging through her.
She sat up straight and put her head in her hands, her cheeks flaming and her heart still pounding. Livvie knew the reason she’d pulled away from Zander’s kiss: because he’d slept with Mel the previous night and that had changed everything. ‘How can he switch from Mel to me in less than twenty-four hours,’ she said to herself. ‘I know men are supposed to be different to women but do they always have to think with their dicks? Ughh!’
She’d never felt so confused in her life. Here she was, sharing a cottage with a man she barely knew yet felt she’d known forever. To be suddenly taken by this … this primal attraction, connection, indescribable feeling – whatever you want to call it – that she’d never felt with anyone before. Until now, she wasn’t even aware it was possible to feel this strongly for anyone. And, despite what had happened with his ex, she had a pretty good idea Zander felt the same – or at least he was doing a damned convincing act. Livvie pushed her fingers into her hair. ‘Arghh!’ This was so frustrating! They were both free agents now but she couldn’t get over the fact that he’d slept with Mel simply because she was offering it on a plate. That just didn’t sit easy with Livvie.
She sighed, feeling suddenly exhausted; her eyes were heavy, her muscles were aching, as was her head but that had the added problem of feeling totally scrambled. She climbed into bed, snuggled down under the cosiness of the duvet and closed her eyes. In moments she was claimed by a deep sleep.
When Livvie woke it was still pitch black outside. She flicked the bedside light on, the clock telling her it was the early hours of the morning yet it only felt like minutes since she’d closed her eyes. She threw the duvet back and tiptoed over to the window. Outside, the wind was still howling round the cottage, pushing and shoving the branches of the trees. Livvie was pleased to see there hadn’t been much more snow. She crept back into bed and closed her eyes, but all she could see was Zander and the expression on his face as he’d kissed her. It made her heart squeeze and stirred the resident butterflies in her stomach. How she wished she hadn’t pushed him away.
40
Zander
I am such a knob! No, scrap that, I am King of the Knobs! Why, oh, why didn’t I wait until Livvie was ready before I tried to kiss her? Arghh! Arghh! Fucking arghh!
Passion, replied the voice of reason loud and clear in his ear. Because you wanted to do more than kiss her. She’s aroused every little fibre of your body, and set it on fire; you want her, you need her, more than you’ve ever wanted or needed anyone before. You’re meant to be together. You know it. She knows it. Everybody knows it. If only you’d kept your knob in your boxer shorts last night, everything would’ve been so very different.
Zander groaned inwardly.
When Livvie hadn’t come back downstairs, he’d had one last glass of wine before letting Alf out in the garden. ‘You don’t know how lucky you are, fella, not having women trouble.’ Alf looked up at him and wagged his tail. ‘Mind you, the way you’ve been flirting with Ethel and Mabel, I guess it could be on the cards. Just make sure you decide who’s the one for you and stick to it, that’s my advice.’ Alf shot back into the house, apparently keen to get out of the cold night air, snuggling down in his bed. ‘Night, Alf,’ said Zander as he turned off the light.
Zander’s waking thought was Livvie and their almost kiss, wondering how things would be between them that day. He’d hate for his clumsiness to create any awkwardness, or worse, push her away from him.
As he lay there, his mind drifted back to their time at Molly and Camm’s the previous day, and it slowly dawned on him that today was Christmas Eve. They were supposed to be meeting the gang for carols round the Christmas tree in Lytell Stangdale. He hoped Livvie would still be keen to go with him; that his actions hadn’t put her off.
Zander was sipping coffee and gazing out of the window when Livvie came downstairs.
‘Morning,’ she said. He turned to see her smiling at him.
‘Morning. How are you feeling today … I mean, after what happened with the car?’
‘My head feels much better, but my body feels somehow more achey, if that makes sense.’
‘It does, it’s par for the course, I’m afraid.’ He smiled, relieved that there didn’t appear to be any awkwardness around them. ‘Can I get you a coffee, tea, hot chocolate, juice?’
‘I’m usually strictly a tea drinker first thing, but that coffee smells so good, I think I’ll have one of those, please.’
‘Coming right up.’ He set the machine in motion, the nutty aroma soon filling the kitchen.
‘It’s hard to believe it’s Christmas Eve today.’ Livvie sat down at the table, smoothing Alf’s head that had suddenly appeared in her lap.
‘I was just thinking that. And, by the way, Alf Gillespie, what have I said about pestering at the table?’
‘Ah, it’s my fault, I encourage him, don’t I, handsome?’
Alf’s wagging tail bashed against the table leg.
‘I suppose I can let him off this once.’ Zander watched how content Alf was with Livvie. He’d really taken to her – more than anyone else Zander had known, even Steff. They’d both miss her if – when – she went back to Rickelthorpe.
‘At least there hasn’t been much more snow,’ she said.
‘Yes, we do seem to be getting off lightly at the moment, it’s nothing like the winters Beth’s described in the past. There you go.’ He set her coffee down on the table.
‘Thanks.’
Was it too early to mention this evening’s Christmas carols, he wondered? Would she feel like he was pushing her into something? Would she even want to go with him? He watched her stroking Alf; she was smiling and didn’t seem uncomfortable about last night. Oh, what the hell! ‘Are you still up for the carols round the Christmas tree in the village?’
Relief flooded through him as a warm beam lit up her face. ‘Definitely. I’m really looking forward to it; provided there’s no more snow of course.’
‘The weather here seems to be doing the opposite to what’s forecast, so I think we should just play it by ear. It’d be a shame to miss it, from what everyone was saying yesterday.’
‘I agree; I just love the community spirit in the village; the way everyone seems to pull together. I mean, it’s nice at Rickelthorpe, but not a patch on this place. I can’t believe how welcome I’ve been made to feel.’
Livvie had just put into words exactly how Zander felt. Lytell Stangdale was, without doubt, a special place.
‘While I remember, when we were at Molly and Camm’s yesterday, Kitty and Vi mentioned Molly’s swear box,’ said Livvie.
‘Good old Mo
lly, I’d forgotten about that,’ said Zander.
‘Anyway, she said she was going to donate the money from it to the Air Ambulance, but I could sense the atmosphere change after she’d said it; it was kind of awkward – not for long – but it just made me wonder if there’s something I should be careful of saying. I’d hate to upset or offend her.’
‘Ah, yes. Molly lost her husband Pip in an accident a few years ago; I believe the Air Ambulance was called out for him.’
Livvie pressed her hand to her lips. ‘Oh no, poor Molly and the kids. She’s done amazingly well to be so happy and get on with her life.’
‘Yeah, she’s a tough one, but I think she’s got a good support network around her. Incidentally, Granny Aggie – the old lady who sends cheeky text messages to the vicar – is Pip’s grandmother and, although Molly grumbles about her, I think they share a similar smutty sense of humour.’
‘Oh, I’d love to meet Granny Aggie,’ said Livvie.
‘Well, if you do, don’t go giving her your phone number.’
Livvie giggled. ‘Good point.’
The pair spent the day skirting around what had happened the previous evening. Zander was desperate to ask if Livvie had thought any more about the job with Kitty and Violet, but held back in case it resurrected the awkwardness of the kiss. He longed to tell her that he thought it was an amazing opportunity for her to put her obvious talents to good use, but he kept quiet for fear she would think he was interfering. After all, it was a big decision for her to uproot from the place she’d lived all her life. No, this time he’d do his best to take things slowly, let Livvie lead the way.
41
Livvie
‘How’s it looking out there?’ Zander asked as Livvie peered out through the living room curtains.
‘Well, it looks pretty frosty but I don’t think there’s been any more snow which is good.’
‘Looks like carol singing’s on then.’
‘Great. What time shall we set off?’
Zander checked his watch. ‘Half an hour okay for you?’
‘Perfect. I’ll just put something warmer on.’ Livvie felt inexorably excited at the thought of standing round the huge Christmas tree on the village green, absorbing the warm community spirit that she’d already come to appreciate was unique to Lytell Stangdale. She’d never done anything like it before and felt an almost childlike pleasure at the prospect. She liked that Zander seemed keen, too. She also liked that he hadn’t mentioned their kiss, not that she was trying to think too much about it, but she was unsure how she’d react if he brought it up. She shook the thought out of her head. ‘Is Alf coming?’
‘Of course, though I’m not too sure about his singing skills.’ His smile made Livvie’s stomach flip.
Livvie and Zander made their way over to the towering Christmas tree, its pine scent fragrant in the frosty air, while its warm white lights twinkled in the darkness.
‘Yay! I’m so glad you’re here.’ Violet pulled Livvie into a hug, planting a kiss on her cheek.
‘I’m so pleased the snow kept off.’ Livvie hugged her back, being careful of Vi’s baby bump.
‘Hi, Livvie, so are we, we were hoping you’d be able to make it; it’s such a lovely event.’ Kitty followed up Vi’s hug with one of her own.
Livvie felt a glow of happiness in response to this warm welcome from her new friends. ‘Where are Molly and Rosie?’
‘Molly’s just texted to say she and Camm are on their way and Rosie should be here any minute,’ said Kitty.
‘Tell you what, seeing as though you’re here, why don’t we take you for a quick peek at the Romantique studio? The carols won’t be starting for another fifteen, twenty minutes.’ Vi’s eyes twinkled.
‘Ooh, good idea,’ said Kitty. ‘I’ve got the key right here.’
Livvie’s heart started to race. ‘I’d love to.’
‘Fab! Come on then.’ Vi led the way across the green and towards Sunshine Cottage that housed the studio in its back garden.
‘Won’t be long,’ she called to Zander who nodded and, she noted, was smiling broadly.
Inside, Livvie gasped as she took in the stunning bridal gown on the tailor’s dummy in the corner, its delicate antique lace and tiny pearls painstakingly hand stitched onto the fabric, the shelves of beads and crystals that sparkled in the lights, the bolts of sumptuous fabrics and the array of elegant sketches on the walls. ‘Wow! This is amazing.’ She felt like a child in a sweetshop, almost drooling at the scene before her. She could sense Vi and Kitty watching her closely, trying to read her expression.
‘Thank you.’ Vi gave her arm a squeeze. ‘It’s a great place to work, the team are fabulous, there’s tea on tap as well as a daily supply of Lucy’s chocolate dipped flapjacks! What’s not to love?’
‘No pressure, Vi.’ Kitty grinned, turning to Livvie. ‘Take your time to think about it; make sure it’s right for you.’
Vi batted her eyelashes in an exaggerated way, a hopeful expression on her face that made the other women laugh.
‘And what would I need to do to apply?’
‘Just come in and construct part of the bodice of a wedding dress; one with fine detailing,’ said Vi.
‘Have a general chat and show us any designs you have, so we can get an idea if your style matches ours,’ added Kitty.
Livvie nodded; in that split second, she’d made her decision, but she’d keep it close to her heart for now.
Back at the village green Livvie found Zander chatting to Jimby and Ollie. ‘Ah, here they are,’ said Jimby, wearing his habitual wide smile. He threw his arm around Vi and planted a noisy kiss on her cheek. ‘Now then, Mrs Fairfax.’
‘Hi, Jimby.’ Vi snuggled into him.
‘We’ve been showing Livvie the studio,’ said Kitty.
‘We wondered where you’d got to,’ said Ollie.
‘And what did you think?’ asked Zander.
‘It’s amazing.’ She understood the subtext of his question: Are you going to apply for the job?
Before she had chance to say anything further, a voice called to say that the carols were about to begin and before she knew it a harmony of voices singing “Silent Night” rose into the frosty night air. Livvie was taken off guard by the emotion that suddenly surged through her, causing her throat to tighten. She looked up at Zander to see him gazing down at her, the expression in his eyes making her heart leap. She smiled and bit back a tear that threatened to spill onto her cheek.
Halfway through the song, and without warning, Alf threw back his head and proceeded to howl woefully, causing a ripple of laughter to run around the carol singers.
‘Alf!’ Zander gave him a gentle nudge which stopped him momentarily. ‘Sorry,’ said Zander, glancing around at everyone. But seconds later, the Labrador started up again.
‘He sings like you, Kitty.’ Molly giggled.
‘Oh, I think he’s more in tune than our Kitts,’ said Jimby.
‘I wish I could argue with you, but you’re right,’ said Kitty.
‘This is dreadful, I don’t know what’s got into him. I’ll take him over there, hopefully he’ll stop if he’s not in the thick of things.’ Zander tugged at Alf’s lead and headed away from the green. ‘Come on, you little sod.’
‘I’ll come with you,’ said Livvie; she was finding it hard not to giggle.
42
Zander
‘Thank goodness for that.’ Zander rolled his eyes. ‘I thought he was never going to be quiet.’
‘It was so funny.’ Livvie was still giggling, her nose scrunched up in the way he found irresistible.
‘It was horrendous. You won’t be invited back after that display, Alfred Gillespie.’
‘Has he done it before?’
‘No! Never. That’s why it was such a surprise tonight. Little bugger.’ He looked down at Alf, who wagged his tail, apparently rather pleased with himself.
‘Oh, he’s so gorgeous and cute; he can get away with anything, can’t yo
u handsome?’ Livvie bent to stroke Alf’s head.
‘Don’t encourage him. And what you don’t yet know is that while you were looking round the studio, he went and had a good old sniff of Freda Easton – you know, the elderly lady who lives on her own and doesn’t trouble soap and water; I think I heard Molly telling you about her?’
‘Oh, yes, I remember.’
‘Well, he only went and proceeded to cock his leg on her and empty his apparently full bladder all over her feet. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to see she was wearing wellies, and she took it well, bless her.’
‘Oops.’ Livvie pressed her lips together, struggling not to laugh.
‘Still think he can get away with anything?’
‘Well, at least the old lady was wearing wellies plus she didn’t mind.’
‘That’s hardly the point.’ Zander was treating Alf to a fake stern look when the Labrador threw his head back in readiness to resume his howling. ‘Don’t even think about it, matey.’ Zander gave him another gentle nudge which seemed to do the trick, leaving Alf looking suitably chastened.
‘Ooh, is that snow?’ Livvie held her hand out as several large flakes swirled around them, one landing on her nose. With a smile, she swiped it off.
Zander felt a tug at his heart. He needed to clear the air, apologise to Livvie about last night. He was desperate to have her thinking well of him once more. Go for it! A persuasive voice urged him on, trampling over his resolution to take things slowly. Oh, what the hell? What have I got to lose?
A Christmas Kiss Page 25