by Holly Jaymes
I stood, shook their hands, and then left with Lauren. On the ride back, I wallowed in my predicament.
“It’s going to be fine, Tucker,” Lauren said. “If you play well, they won’t care what you did - or do - to that woman. Prove to them you can take them to the Super Bowl, and you can get a harem if you want.”
I glanced over at her.
“What?” she asked.
“I really did love her,” I said. “This isn’t a cover story or a game.”
“It is a game, Tucker. It’s football. It’s making sure your fans and the team fans will back you, making it impossible for the team to cut you simply because you can’t keep your dick in your pants. It has nothing to do with love, and everything to do with perception.”
I looked out the window, hating that the game I loved to play had such twisted rules around it.
“Unless you want to quit. Is that what you want?”
“No. I want to play football. That’s all. I don’t want the bullshit.”
She laughed. “Then stop stepping in it.”
It was late when I finally called Mason, but he was up, waiting for my call.
“They haven’t cut me yet,” I said.
“Is that a possibility?”
“They’re waiting to see how I practice tomorrow. I guess if I do well, I’ll be worth the embarrassment.” I lay back on my bed, feeling so fucking tired.
“You’re ready, Tucker. Believe it.”
I felt strong, physically, but I knew I’d have to push through the emotional turmoil and the stress.
“If I do well, they’re going to skewer Emma,” I said, unable to stop feeling guilt about it, even though I knew she brought this on herself. “They’ll have a statement ready that will say she used me for money.”
He sighed. “That’s fucked, but…she should have considered that when she sold the pictures.”
“She did sell them, didn’t she?” I asked. There was something about this whole thing that felt off. They were her photos, so how else could they have gotten out? And yet, I still found it hard to believe she’d do such a thing.
“The article doesn’t say where they came from, but you said they were hers.”
“They were.”
“Then, that’s the answer. Get some rest, Tucker. Just think about saving your ass tomorrow. We can deal with Emma later.”
I heeded Mason’s advice. The next day, I was at the field early, warming up. Lauren came, as did JT, Curly and Coach. I pushed everything but football away, and focused on being the best athlete I could be. I beat all my previous sprint times and I threw further and, even better, with improved accuracy. Each training exercise, I felt stronger and more confident.
“I knew there was a reason we drafted that kid,” JT said, as he came onto the field after the session. “Where have you been hiding all that, son?”
There was no answer that didn’t make me look like I was slacking before, so I didn’t answer.
“So, his job is safe?” Lauren cut to the chase.
The three men looked at each other.
“He’ll still need to prove himself at camp, but based on what I see here, he looks better than ever,” Coach Chambers said.
“He’s not cut,” the manager added. “But you still need to keep your nose clean and win your starter spot. There’s no guarantee.”
“What about the statement?” Lauren said.
The manager handed her a paper. She scanned it and smiled as she handed it back. “Good.”
“See you next week, Tuck,” Coach Chambers said. “Bring what you brought today, and you’ll keep your place.”
That was exactly what I wanted to hear, and yet, I still felt like shit.
“What did the statement say?” I asked Lauren as we walked to our cars.
“It says the team has your back, Tucker.”
I wondered what that meant. Well, I sort of did know. It meant that Emma was going to be thrown under the bus.
“By noon today, every news outlet will know the story behind those pictures. They’ll sympathize with the quarterback, recuperating at home who fell for the local artist, who then turned around and betrayed him.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
“What?” She stopped and looked at me. “Tucker, you have to get behind this. You said it’s the truth anyway, so what’s your problem?”
“Even though she ripped my heart out, I love her. And this…this will cost her everything.”
“Maybe she should have considered that before she sold those private photos of you.”
I blew out a breath. “I know. It’s just…” I wanted to protect Emma, but I kept that to myself. Lauren - and now the team were on my side - and I couldn’t afford to lose them. Not if I wanted to play ball. It didn’t matter how much I loved Emma, I wouldn’t throw away my sure thing for a woman who betrayed me.
21
Time to Move On
Emma
My life was in limbo. But the pain and turmoil made it nearly impossible to think straight, much less make decisions about what to do next. I was in a beautiful home, with a gorgeous view of the ocean, but couldn’t find the energy to paint. Or do anything really. For several days after arriving at Allie’s parents beach home, all I could do was cry and sleep.
But I couldn’t hide forever. Nor could I continue to avoid my mother’s calls. Forcing myself to shower, dress, and make coffee, I walked out onto the lovely back terrace. I inhaled the salty air and then sat at the table and called my mother.
“Oh thank God, Emma. What’s going on? You’re all over the local news.”
“I know. I’m…fine…”
“How could he be saying such terrible things about you? I’ve talked to a lawyer and we’ll sue his ass. No one goes after my child and gets away with it. Especially some playboy douche like Tucker McLean.”
I sighed. “No. I don’t want that.”
“What? Why? Oh God, please don’t tell me you fell for him? I told you a hundred times Emma, men aren’t worth the effort.”
“I know, Mom. I didn’t sell the photos—”
“Well, of course, you didn’t.”
She couldn’t know just how much her vote of confidence meant to me.
“But they were my photos. I don’t know how they got out, but…he’s right to be angry. He doesn’t deserve to lose his job—”
“Come on, Emma. Men like him don’t lose their jobs over nude photos. If anything, it will help him.”
“The point is, what they’re saying is true, except for the part that I sold them. Or tricked him.”
She was silent for a moment. “So, you did fall for him?”
I didn’t want to admit it, but I had to. “Yes.”
“Well, then, I’m sorry it all went to hell.”
At least she didn’t say, I told you so.
“So where are you? What are you doing?” she asked.
I sipped my coffee as I tried to find an answer. The truth was, I had no clue what I was doing. “Right now, I’m in Malibu at a friend’s house—”
“They ran you out of town?” she said harshly.
“I didn’t want the press to find me.”
“Why didn’t you call me? You could come home.” Now she sounded hurt.
“Because I didn’t want to bring the press to you. No one would think to look for me here.”
“I don’t give a shit about that, Emma, you know it. I don’t care that they’re parked outside.”
“They’re outside your house?”
“They were. Not anymore. You can come home now.”
I lowered my head to my hand. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
“It’s not your fault, baby. Come home.”
“I can’t. Not yet. I need to figure things out. I’m not sure what to do next.”
I thought she’d tell me to come home and she’d help me, but maybe she understood. “Well, first, who stole and sold your pictures? Why are you taking the heat for something you didn’t do? It
’s bullshit that the media has paid for those photos, knowing they didn’t come from you but still skewering you. We should sue them for copyright infringement and defamation.”
My lips twitched up, happy to have someone so vehemently on my side. “I don’t know how they got out. I have a suspicion, but—”
“But nothing, Emma. Someone is sitting on six-figures at your expense. They should pay.”
I thought of Clara and her granddaughter, who I felt certain was the culprit. The others at the retreat would have respected and understood those photos were mine.
I wasn’t sure about the suing bit, but my mom was right in that I needed to get to the bottom of who took the pictures and confront them. They needed to know the ramifications of their actions. That they could cost Tucker his career. They’d certainly made my life hard.
I had some money saved that I could use to hire someone. It was earmarked for my gallery and studio, but since that dream wasn’t likely to come true any time soon, I could put it to better use.
It was also clear that I wouldn’t likely ever be welcome in Eden Lake again. If I wasn’t fired yet, I needed to resign, and then talk to a realtor about selling my home.
“I’m working on all that, Mom.”
“I’m worried about you, baby. Please come home.”
Tears came to my eyes. I really could use my mom. I thought about inviting her here, but I worried that she’d lead the paparazzi to me and I didn’t want that.
“I’ll be fine, Mom. I’ll get things sorted and then get in touch.”
“Don’t be a stranger. Call me and let me know how you’re doing.”
“I will.” When I hung up, I realized my coffee was cold. I went inside to heat it up. A cloud blew by, blocking the sun and it felt like a metaphor as the room darkened. I wondered if I’d ever really see the sun again.
One thing was clear, wallowing wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I needed to take action, if only to keep from being swallowed up by my despair.
With my coffee warm, I hunted down my sketch pad, and found a place near the window to draw the beach. I’d just started adding foam to the waves when my phone rang.
I had a moment to hope it was Tucker, but that was stupid. I knew I’d never talk to him again. If I wanted to see him, I’d have to start watching football.
I picked up my phone. The caller ID said Clara.
“Hi, Clara,” I said, trying not to sound all doom and gloom in my tone.
“I just got off the phone with your mother. I’d seen news about the photos, but your mother says you’ve been run out of town. You’ve closed your business.”
“Yes. It’s a mess, Clara.”
“Why did you sell those photos? Surely, there were other ways to get the money for your gallery.”
I frowned. “I didn’t sell them. Someone stole them.” I debated on whether or not to ask about Ashley. Like whether or not she had recently gone on a spending spree.
“What? Who?”
In any other time, I’d have valued Clara’s support and advice. With my grandmother gone, Clara was the closest I had to her. But under the circumstances, I didn’t feel like I could confide in her.
“I don’t know. But I’m going to hire someone to find out.” Then, taking a chance to see what she might know or think, I said, “The only other people besides me who had seen or known of the pictures were all of you at the retreat.”
“You don’t think one of us took them, do you?”
I rubbed my temples. “I don’t know what to think. I only know I didn’t sell them.”
“You must have been hacked. I hear it happens a lot. I mean, none of us would do that. I wouldn’t even know how.”
“Ashley would,” I said before I could think better of it.
“Oh, she wouldn’t do anything like that.” Clara’s tone wasn’t annoyed at my accusation, but she seemed confident that Ashely wouldn’t have stolen my photos.
“I don’t know what happened. I hope I can hire someone to find out. I guess they can track technology like that.”
She was silent for a moment, and I wondered if maybe she was reconsidering Ashley’s potential culpability.
“What will you do when you find out who did it?” she finally asked.
“I don’t know. I plan to clear my name, for sure. It’s possible Tucker will have something to say about it too.”
“Do you think he’d sue?”
“Maybe. If it costs him his job.”
“What? His job? He’s not with the football team?” Clara’s voice started to sound concerned, but I didn’t think it was about Tucker per se. I suspected she understood that he had resources to not only find the culprit but to sue as well.
“I don’t know anything except the team wanted him to keep his nose clean.”
“He does have a reputation,” she said. “In fact, I bet no one believes this story about him falling for you and you duping him. Men like him don’t fall in love.”
My heart clenched. Maybe he wasn’t in love with me, but we had something. That I was sure of.
But her words concerned me. What if public opinion was still against him? Would his team drop him?
“And you weren’t seeing him. You would have said something.”
“The story is right about that part,” I said. “We didn’t tell anyone, but we were dating,” I said for lack of a better word.
“I see.” I wasn’t sure if her aloof tone was because I hadn’t confided in her, or her recognizing that if Ashley had taken the photos, things could get bad for her.
“Whoever took the photos, they’ve profited while I’ve lost everything,” I said, wanting her to know, even as I knew she wouldn’t betray her granddaughter, assuming Ashely was the culprit. I didn’t feel I could outright accuse her. I had no real evidence. Right now, I was living proof of what could happen when a person was falsely accused of something.
“When you find out, you’ll let me know? Before you do anything?”
I didn’t want to agree to that. “I’ll just have to see what I learn and what the lawyer says.”
“Well, you take care, Emma.”
Tears sprang to my eyes as her tone belied her words. It told me she did worry that Ashely had taken the photos, but that she’d side with her. Protect her. I couldn’t blame her. They were family. At the same time, how would Asley ever learn to be responsible if she got away with potentially destroying two lives?
When we hung up, I considered raiding Allie’s father's liquor cabinet. It would be nice to be oblivious to feelings and thoughts for a short time.
But then I remembered what Clara said about the public not buying Tucker’s story about being in love.
I dialed Willa’s number and was relieved when she answered. “Emma?”
“Hi, Willa. I’m sorry to bother you, but I wanted to ask about something.”
“Okay.” Her tone was aloof.
“Is Tucker’s job safe?”
“He was able to keep them from cutting him outright, but he still has to prove himself at camp. Of course, all those plans he had for the resort with the Minors and Mason has to go on hold.”
“Plans?”
“Yes. To go into a partnership with them and fix it up so that you could use it for an art retreat and Mason and Allie could use it for a wellness retreat.”
The air whooshed out of my lungs. I was stunned, and then felt guilty about it because I knew Tucker was a good, sweet, generous man. Of course, he’d think of doing something like that.
“I guess that building he was looking at is also on hold,” she said.
“What building?”
“That warehouse for your studio gallery thing.” She said it like she expected me to know about it. My hand shook as I brought it to my forehead. He accused me of selling photographs for that project. And all the while he’d been planning to help me with it. No wonder he felt duped.
I needed to do something to help him. Not because I wanted the retreat or the building.
I knew those were gone forever. But I couldn’t be the cause of his losing his job.
“Are people believing his story about what happened?” I asked, knowing I could be the one to confirm that he wasn’t playing around. That he was a good and decent person.
There was a pause. “Why?”
“Ah…I was just curious.”
“What are you up to, Emma? You’re not planning to contradict him, are you? We’ve done all we can to try and protect you, when this is your fault. You can’t possibly now go after him again.”
“No. That’s not it at all.” Tears sprang to my eyes again. I hated feeling so alone and like I was messing everything up. This wasn’t my fault. “I…ah…someone said they didn’t think people would believe it because of his reputation. I just…”
“Just what, Emma?” Her tone was curt.
“I wanted to let him know that I’d confirm it. The part about us being together. No one knew about it. If reporters asked people in town…you and Mason even, they’d say they weren’t aware of Tucker having a relationship. I’m the only one that can confirm that.”
She was quiet for a moment. “If you admit to that, why not the photos too?”
“I’ll confirm they’re my photos, but I won’t say I sold them, because I didn’t. I swear, I didn’t.”
“You’d make a statement confirming the relationship? That you loved him?”
“Yes. That’s the truth. I’ll only confirm the truth.”
“What about the photos? Who took them?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I don’t know, but I’m going to hire someone to investigate and find out.”
“Then what?”
“I don’t know, Willa. I’m …floundering here. Right now, I just want to make things right for Tucker.”
She was quiet again for a moment. When she spoke again, her tone turned softer, more compassionate. “This person hurt you too, Emma. Your livelihood. Your reputation. You should speak out.”
“I can’t accuse anyone without proof. My life right now is the way it is because of false accusations. I won’t put another through that. When I know who it is, I’ll confer with a lawyer—”