Collected Works of Frances Trollope

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by Frances Milton Trollope


  It took, of course, a few minutes to reconstruct the defective sentence, and during this interval there was scarcely a gentleman present who did not raise his voice to join in what might truly have been called a chorus of praise and admiration. Mrs. Allen Barnaby heard, and wrote, and smiled, and wrote again; and much sooner than under these fluttering and flattering circumstances could have been expected, she once more pushed back her curls, and prepared to read. In a moment every other voice was hushed, and she thus resumed: —

  “If there is one point that is calculated to strike a reasonable stranger, altogether free from vulgar prejudice, and arriving for the first time in that most highly-favoured portion of the United States distinguished by the high privilege which was sanctioned by the immortal Washington, and by the illustrious Jefferson approved” — (a splendid phrase that she had written down from the lips of Mrs. Beauchamp)— “it certainly is the contemplation of the comfort and happiness arising from the institution of slavery.”

  “Now then,” said the still wide-awake Colonel Beauchamp, “now then, I think, madam, that you might challenge all the authors that ever wrote, to show a sentence more full of truth and wisdom than that is. I am sure, madam, we can never thank you enough; and I, for one, beg to say that as long as it is suitable to your convenience and pleasure to continue in the Union, my house and home shall be open to you and yours, and that nothing that I and my family can do, shall be wanting to make you feel yourself as if you were a real born American.”

  A vast number of voices immediately reiterated nearly the same words; and while this was going on, Mr. Egerton once more ventured to look in the face of Annie. It was, however, no longer a frown that he met there, neither did any angry glow remain upon her brow. She was, indeed, on the contrary, unusually pale, and he fancied, although she did not raise her eyes, that there were tears in them, for their long dark lashes hung heavily, like the fringe of a cypress-branch besprinkled with dew, upon her alabaster cheek. But although Annie did not raise her eyes when the young Englishman turned to look at her, it is possible that she was conscious of his doing so; for in the next moment she had risen from her chair, glided over the space which divided her from the window, and stepped through it upon the balcony.

  Not many men of any age can see a very beautiful young girl in tears without experiencing some kindly softening of the heart towards them; but at three or four and twenty, this sort of softness is usually too powerful in its influence to permit, for the moment at least, the continuance of any harsh or hostile feeling; and certainly Mr. Egerton just then quite forgot the perfect Americanism of Annie Beauchamp. But what was stranger still, though he very greatly wished to follow her, he had not the courage or confidence to do it; but though, upon reaching the balcony, she contrived so to place herself as not to be seen by either him or any one else in the room, he was so much occupied by the image of her pale, sad, lovely face as she went out, that he lost whatever advantage of any kind might have been gained by attending to what was going on in the saloon; for he did not distinctly hear another word.

  Pleasantly conscious as Mrs. Allen Barnaby was of her great powers, as well in her new occupation of writing a book, as in everything else, she had nevertheless found, after the first sentence or two, that the putting together the fine phrases which have been given above, was likely to be a very great bore; and, to say the truth, when she left off it was because she really did not know what she should say next. It was then that the happy idea of writing down a few questions, to be answered either by her inspiring muse, Mrs. Colonel Beauchamp, or by some one else of the high-standers whose favour she was so anxious to propitiate, occurred to her. And now it stood her in excellent good stead: for when, upon the subsiding of the burst of grateful and hospitable feeling just described, the honourable Judge Johnson raised his voice to request that she would continue, instead of having to make the blank reply of —

  “Sir, I have got no more,” she was able to answer, in a tone, that instead of damping, very greatly increased the interest she had already awakened —

  “Now then, my most kind and indulgent hearers,” she said, “I have a great, a very great favour to ask of you,” and Mrs. Allen Barnaby drew forth, from amidst the papers which she had placed upon the table, the sheet upon which she had written her “questions.”

  “I have here,” she resumed, “put down one or two inquiries which strike me as being very important, and in which I hope and trust my excellent friends here assembled will be kind enough to give me some information.”

  “Assuredly, madam, assuredly!” answered three or four voices at once. “Please to read the inquiries, madam, only please to read them, that’s all.”

  Mrs. Allen Barnaby obeyed, and in her most sonorous and impressive accents read —

  “In what manner does the republican form of government appear to affect the social habits of the people?”

  It was her intention to have gone through her whole string of questions before she paused to invite discussion on them. But this was impossible. You might have fancied yourself in the chamber of congress at Washington, so eager did every honourable member appear to speak on the subject now offered for discussion. But by force of lungs, and the impetus given to his determination to be heard, by the consciousness that he was the richest man in the company, it was the honourable Judge Johnson who finally succeeded in becoming spokesman on the occasion.

  “In what manner? Gracious heaven! my dearest lady, in every manner! The republican form of government is just all in all; without it, you may take my word for it, we should not be a bit better, or a bit wiser, or a bit more advanced than other people. It is the republican form of government that makes us the citizens, the statesmen, the philosophers, and the rich men that we are. It is to the republican form of government that we owe our immense superiority in all ways; it is that which makes us such fathers and husbands as we are. It is that which makes us feared abroad, and adored at home; and, to end all, it is that which makes us great; it is that which makes us glorious: in one word, it is that which makes us the greatest nation upon the earth, and it is that which will keep us so.”

  While this was spoken, Mrs. Allen Barnaby sat the very picture of mute and earnest attention. Her ear seemed to gather the sounds she heard, as a miser might gather gold; and her mind, showing itself through her intelligent eye, appeared already setting to work, in order to form it into implements both of use and ornament, such as might be scattered over the whole earth, sure to become the most precious treasures of every land they reached.

  When at length the judge stopped to take breath, the listening lady rose from her seat, and, laying her hand upon her breast, said, in a manner that very greatly touched her hearers —

  “Never can the impressive words I have now heard escape from my memory! It was my intention to have written down whatever information I might have been happy enough to obtain in reply to my questions — but for this one, the answer is engraven HERE.”

  It is hardly necessary to narrate how these words were received. Cold indeed must be the heart that cannot imagine it! When tranquillity was again restored, Mrs. Allen Barnaby, who had reseated herself, during the moments wherein she had yielded herself as it were, to applause, once more took up her paper and read —

  “How far does the absence of a national form of worship produce the results anticipated from it?”

  “Oh, that’s answered in half a word, madam,” resumed the judge, who seemed to consider himself the chairman of the committee, sitting to decide upon the lady’s questions. “It just answers as we intended — and that’s enough. We knew beforehand that it would never do for such a people as us to be schooling of one another for everlasting about forms and doctrines, and the old one knows what. You may just set down on that bit of the constitution, that it works perfect. And now, if you please, you may go on to the next.”

  “At what degree of elevation may the education of the ladies of the Union be considered to stand, when compar
ed to that received by the females of other countries?”

  “Oh, my!”

  “Well, now!”

  “Isn’t that capital?”

  “I expect that one and all we ladies must answer that for ourselves,” were words, which, like winged messengers seemed flying round Mrs. Allen Barnaby in all directions; but happily in a tone which showed that if the ladies were called upon to speak for themselves, it was a call to which they should have no objection to answer.

  “You may say that, ladies!” said Colonel Wingrove, gaily and politely winking at the most eager speakers; “nobody can answer that question, I expect, as well as your own pretty selves. But if I was obliged to say my say on the subject, I know that it would just be to declare, that the gals of the Union beat all creation — not in any wise to mention all the other women in it; and that they do, out and out, and out again, ten millions of times over, in every sort of learning and gentility, as much as they do in beauty.”

  This gallant speech was received with a regular clapping of hands from all the gentlemen present, while the “gals” simpered and tittered, and smirked, and brought their heads together in little whispering knots, till at length one very young lady’s voice was distinctly heard to say —

  “Well, now, I do hope that she will write down that exactly, without changing a word.”

  “And so I will, my dear young lady,” cried Mrs. Allen Barnaby, affectionately; “and my heart dilates with pleasure as I look around me, and think of the happy chance by which I have been called upon to do justice to such lovely and elegant creatures as I see here!”

  “Very prettily said, ma’am,” said General Gregory, with his usual kind smile; “and I must observe that we have a right, too, to talk of our own good fortune, that has brought us so altogether genteel and understanding a lady to write about us as yourself.”

  “There is nobody to be found, I expect, general, who will be ready to gainsay that word,” said the honourable Judge Johnson. “And now I shall give my vote and interest for our being all silent while this excellent lady goes on with her questions. Now then, ma’am, we are all mum.”

  “I have but one, or rather I should say that I have but two questions more on my list at present,” said Mrs. Allen Barnaby. “I say two, because I perceive that I have divided the subject under two distinct heads; but, if you will give me leave, I will read them both together, as being too intimately connected for division; and if I mistake not, gentlemen, you will feel the subject to be one of very great importance, and of a nature to require the very best and most correct information before I can venture to write upon it —

  “‘In what manner was slavery originally instituted? And what are its real effects, both on the white and the black population?”

  Scarcely had Mrs. Allen Barnaby pronounced the words, when so many voices were raised to answer her, that for some minutes nothing could be heard distinctly.

  “This will never do, gentlemen,” cried the judge, raising his powerful voice to its very highest pitch, “we are one and all interested in this question, or the devil’s in it. But if you all keep on jabbering together at this infernal rate, just like so many wild geese, when they are settling down upon a common, I should like to know how the lady is to understand rightly a single word you say? I don’t want, or wish, to put myself forward, excepting in fit time and season; but I expect there is no one here that will attempt to deny that the advocation of my principles upon this subject in congress has done something towards startling the New Englanders off from their infernal abolition nonsense; and if so, I think it is but fair to give me a try, as to whether I can’t startle the Old Englanders a little too. What d’ye say, gentlemen? Are you willing to let me answer the lady, or are you not?”

  However much many of the individuals present might have desired to hear themselves speak a little on this very favourite theme, a very decided majority made it understood that they were willing to accept the honourable Judge Johnson as their substitute; and no sooner was this made perfectly clear and silence obtained, than the judge rose up, and putting himself in the attitude in which he always addressed the members of congress, he thus spoke “As to the first member of your requirement, my good lady, I will just take the liberty of saying that you may go to your Bible for an answer. And if you don’t exactly know where to look for it, there is that excellent pious Christian, the lady of General Gregory, will show you; for she has got it all at her fingers’ ends about Cain being turned black by the hand of the Lord, on purpose that he might become the father of a nation of blackymore nigger slaves: and that’s the top and head of the institution, as I take it. However, I will leave that part of the subject to her, because it is well known to everybody in our part of the country that there is no one, be he priest, parson, or prelate, that understands it better. But I will take upon me, in my own person, to make a reply to the other portion of your inquiry, that being altogether in my own way, and touching direct upon points whereon my principles have been pretty generally received in congress, as standard principles of the wealthiest, the most enlightened, and in all ways the most important, portion of the Union.”

  The honourable judge here paused for a moment, spit, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and then proceeded —

  “As to the effect of slavery upon the white part of the population, as that is the way in which you have been pleased to put your question, my good lady, whereas we should say, as to its effect upon the masters, it is altogether a matter too clear to admit of any mistake.

  “In the first place, it makes the only real gentlemen in the Union. In the second place, it saves the finest people upon God’s earth from the abominable degradation of having no servants, proper and fitting, as regular servants, to wait upon them. Thirdly, slavery is known on all sides to be the only way in which the glorious fine sun and soil of this noblest of all countries, can be turned to the best account. Fourthly, there is no other way that man can invest, by which such fortunes can be made in the Union, as may enable some among the free-born of our glorious citizens and immortal republic to keep up the credit of the country, both at home and abroad, in such a way as to give us proper dignity in the eyes of Europe. And now, madam, I will leave off speaking upon this head for the present, because I calculate that I have said about as much as you will be able to remember at one go; but I have got not less than fifty-seven reasons altogether, which I can bring forward, when you are ready for them, to support my principles, but with which I will not now charge your memory, in the fear that you might not remember them all clearly. But this signifies the less, because it is proper, madam, that you keep in mind the necessity of coming again upon this part of your subject, it being greatly beyond all comparison the most important of all. As to your question, about the niggers themselves, poor filthy varment, it is vastly easy to answer it. Just state, if you please, my good lady (saying, as you safely may, that it is upon the best possible authority), just state that if, for many excellent reasons, the gentlemen planters had not thought it advisable to take these poor wretches under their protection by making regular lawful slaves of them, so that they cannot, luckily for them, get away, — if it was not for this, you will be pleased to say, that it is satisfactorily proved by all the philosophers as have examined the subject, that they would, beyond all question, in a very few years be found running about in the forests on all-fours, just like any other beasts — unless, indeed, as some think would have been the case, they would come to an end by eating one another up. This, my dear lady, is what we have saved them from, and this is what ought to be put forward before the eyes of all Europe.”

  “AND SO IT SHALL, SIR,” said Mrs. Allen Barnaby, again rising, with an air of indescribable dignity. “Blind, indeed, must those be who cannot see the light, when it is thus admirably put before them!”

  “Madam! you are a thorough lady!” replied the judge, with a low bow. “And now I put the question, whether we should not be the better for a little more of good Mrs. Carmic
hael’s lemonade for the ladies, and whisky for the gentlemen? And then, to my judgment, it would be most convenient that we should not remain much longer — there being much desirability in our taking ourselves off before this good lady shall have lost out of her head all that I have been endeavouring to put in it.”

  CHAPTER XXI.

  BEFORE twelve o’clock next day, Mrs. Allen Barnaby had received fifteen notes of invitation for herself, her family, and friends. Some of these were for dinner and evening parties at New Orleans, and some for visits of longer duration, which the distinguished travellers were entreated to make at the hospitable dwellings of the writers, during the progress of their proposed tour. To copy all these documents is unnecessary, as the same hospitable and patriotic spirit appeared to pervade them all; but one or two ought to be given, in justice to the eloquence with which these feelings were expressed. The following are selected without the slightest partiality of any kind, except what arises from feeling that they are peculiarly well calculated to serve as specimens of the whole: —

  No. I.

  “MADAM, — Much has been said, a great deal too much, upon the deficiency of mutual good-liking between the great and glorious Union of America and the Islands of Great Britain. You, madam, shall prove, in your own person, that, as far as the noble-hearted citizens of the United States are concerned, the charge is altogether false and unfounded. Mrs. Major Wigs and myself desire the pleasure and satisfaction — You may observe as a national trait, if you please, madam, that in addressing the natives of Great Britain, the citizens of the United States never talk of ‘doing honour,’ and that sort of nonsense, and when you, madam, have seen a little more of them, you will become aware (for your capacity is already proved to be of the best) that they don’t stand in a situation for any mortal creature on God’s earth to do them an honour. But to return to business, Major Wigs and his lady hereby request the pleasure of your company, together with your husband, in course, and all your travelling companions inclusive, to a ball and supper at their house and plantation called the Levée Lodge, just two miles off New Orleans, this day week.

 

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