Where exactly Stephen fit into this whole debacle Eliza did not know. Nor did she know what role Nicholas played - especially not after his grand scene earlier this evening. Perhaps it was time to end the charade for good.
She was becoming too involved with his life. More over, each time he appeared to play the dashing suitor, she found him more attractive than the last time. This morning when he had taken over the investigation into the possible attack on her mother, Eliza had felt her heart turn over in her chest, grateful for the assistance. That was a very dangerous thing.
Eliza had always found Nicholas handsome, even when they were young, but had always accepted that he was not for her. He was far beyond her touch, especially as a frail young girl of no real beauty or wit. Not when he was in love with Ellie Reynolds, at any rate. And especially after he became a duke.
Now that Eliza had spent time in Nicholas' company, danced with him, been courted by him? She was afraid that she was starting to care for him. More than she should. More than was wise.
They argued and eventually apologized. They shared secrets and kept parts of themselves hidden from the other. They were well and truly mixed up in each other's lives with no real end in sight - unless she gave him one. And there was something between them that defied definition, a connection that Eliza could not name no matter how hard she tried. Attraction? Perhaps that was it. But that was just as worrisome as if she had fancied herself in love with Nicholas - which she most certainly did not.
So therefore, it was time to end things. She could not go down this path any longer. Especially not now when the whispers were stirring again, questioning her involvement with Nicholas, people wondering if the two of them were truly courting. If Eliza could hold the duke's interest and how she had managed to capture it in the first place.
No, it was time for the charade to be over. For Nicholas was having far too much fun playing The Bloody Duke at her expense. And if he would not be the adult and end things, she would. She had plenty of experience at it after all.
When she was certain the other women had departed, Eliza took a seat at the dressing table that had been set up for the guests' use. She had thought to fix her hair a bit but instead, she simply sat there, staring into the mirror. There was something different about her tonight, and it was not simply because Theresa had done her hair differently, the lush golden curls cascading down from her head, with one single curl tracing downward to lie perfectly between her breasts.
She was different. She had changed over the last few days - both inside and out - something she blamed on Nicholas. She was wearing her glasses less and less as well. Not that anyone even seemed to notice. Except Stephen. He seemed to notice everything. Had she truly been that invisible before? She must have been for there was no other explanation.
The woman looking back at her was not the same woman she had been the night of the Devonmont musicale. The night everything had changed. And Eliza didn't know if she could go back to being that other version of herself. Would she now be content to retire to Langton Abby and live in the dowager's cottage when she reached her majority in two years? A few days ago, she would have said yes. Now? She was not as certain.
Again, Eliza blamed the changes on Nicholas and his asinine plan to play her suitor. This was his fault. All of it. He should have just gone about his spying business as usual and left her out of the entire mess. Surely he could find the information he needed about Stephen on his own, could he not? Especially if he was free to leave town, not tied to London under the guise of courting her.
Not that there had been much actual courting, she decided. There had been no visits during calling hours. No flowers or chocolates or drives in the park at the fashionable hour. No nights at the theater where she and a chaperone might sit beside him for all of society to see. Like a properly courting couple. Instead, there had been plenty of secret meetings and assignations - to be fair starting with that first one when she had burst into his bachelor's quarters without thinking, seeing him in a near state of undress. So perhaps that one was her fault.
Oh, and there had been grand scenes that the entire ton played witness to as well. Plenty of those to go around, from his unchecked aggression at the Celestial Ball to the dressing down of Gianna Vienetti in the middle of the Evanston's ballroom only moments ago. Scene after scene and both of them squarely in the middle of everything.
There had also been plenty of anger and confusion. Guilt and aggression, as well. Everything dark and ugly and so confusing that it made Eliza's head ache. Which was also how she knew that this restlessness she was feeling tonight was not love. Love was what Diana and Lord Hallstone shared, that overwhelming sense of passion and rightness. Love was what Sophia felt for Lord Selby, that overpowering need to be near him and to fight for the right to wed him, no matter how stubborn of an arse her brother was.
Those things were love. What Eliza experienced with Nicholas was... Well, in truth, she wasn't certain what it was. Other than confusion. There was no other word for it.
But there was desire. At least on her part. For now, looking at her reflection in the dim mirror, Eliza finally found the strength to admit what she had first felt so long ago. She, Eliza Deaver, desired Nicholas Rosemont. She had since she was a child.
Back then it had been innocent and she had fancied the emotions he evoked in her as being in love with him. After all, other than Stephen, Nicholas was the only male she knew or saw on a regular basis that was even close to her own age. And what she saw, she liked. She was simply too sheltered to know any better.
As Eliza grew older, however, she had come to realize the difference. What she felt was desire, plain and simple. She did not know the man well enough to love him. But she could see him. And what she saw, she desired. Even if it was only just once. For this was as close as she would ever come to a man. And she wanted a taste. She thought Nicholas owed her that much, especially since when this farce was over, no man was likely to have her. Not unless he wanted to risk the wrath of The Bloody Duke.
One taste of passion, she thought as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Just one. That's all I'm asking for. It can't all be an act. Can it? Just one kiss. A real one this time.
"I can give you what you're asking for, you know."
Startled, Eliza whirled around in her seat, gripping the back of the chair for safety so that she would not tumble to the floor. "Nicholas. How did you get in here?" Stupidly, it was all she could think of to say. "There are maids..." She trailed off when she realized that his gaze was just as heated as it had been on the dance floor earlier. And even hungrier. For her. She had seen the same look in his eyes earlier and not allowed herself to contemplate what it truly meant. Now she did. And it frightened her.
"They can be charmed." He smiled at her and this time, the smile was neither Nicholas nor The Duke, but rather someone else. Someone Eliza did not know. He also looked young, something that Nicholas had not been in a very long time. "Footman can also be bribed to stand guard."
"Why?" For this made no sense to Eliza at all.
His mouth twitched a little. "Because you didn't come back. And I'll not court a woman who hides herself away from society. Or me."
"I wasn't hiding." But she knew her telltale blush was giving her away.
"Very well." He took a step towards her. "What were you doing, Izzy?"
Another step.
She gulped. She also now knew the true meaning of the phrase "be careful what you wish for," as she was greatly beginning to reconsider her last wish. "I was fixing my hair."
Another step.
"It looks lovely." Another step. "It would look even better mussed by my hands."
"Nick, you don't mean that. I know you don't." Two more steps this time. Eliza was pressed as tightly against the dressing table as she could possibly be. Another two steps and he would be in front of her. One more after that and he would be on top of her.
Another step.
"Oh, I think I do, Brat." Th
en Nicholas paused and she allowed herself to breathe for a fraction of a moment. "You see, there is something you don't know. But I rather think you should."
"What is that?" Eliza knew her eyes were wide and that she probably looked like a frightened animal. Not seductive at all. Which she should not be anyway. Not when Nicholas looked as if he was ready to ravish her in this very chair.
"You see, the night you came to my bedchamber, you implied that we did not know each other very well. I beg to differ. You, my dear, might not know me. But I do know you and I always have." He removed one glove and then the other. Eliza could do nothing but stare in fascination at his strong, muscular fingers. "I knew you very well as a child. And you knew me. I knew you when you were creeping out of your family's town home in the early morning hours to conduct the business of the marquisate. But at that point, you no longer knew me. Not as you once did. I was a memory to you and not a fixture in your life. But I still knew you."
Eliza blinked a few times, knowing she must look like an owl. "But...how?" Then she gave a dry chuckle. "Of course. You are The Bloody Duke. A spy. You know everything."
"I do." Nicholas didn't seem particularly ashamed of the admission. "And when you finally came out of mourning..."
She shook her head. "You were there. Ready to ask me to dance when you were certain no one else would."
"I have kept watch over you for a very long time, Eliza." Nicholas' voice had lowered, his words now soft and so very silky. Like a lover's touch on her skin. "But it wasn't until you appeared in my bedchamber that I saw you as something other than Stephen's sister. In truth, I don't know how I viewed you that night. Perhaps like a puzzle, and I do love to solve puzzles. I don't much care for mysteries. So I allowed myself to get close to you. Much to my peril."
Eliza clutched the edge of the chair tighter as Nicholas took another step. "The false courtship was your idea, Nick." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"I was a fool." The final step and he was before her, looming over her, all darkness and barely leashed passion. "I thought I could simply solve this puzzle and then walk away. But I miscalculated. I never do that. Never. I am not that sloppy or careless. And I know the risks and assess them properly. Therefore, something else must be clouding my brain. After thinking upon the matter, I have concluded that it is lust. Plain and simple physical desire."
On shaking knees, Eliza rose, refusing to be thought weak in his eyes. She hated the feeling of him lording over her as well, even though when standing she was nearly a full foot shorter than he. "Lust? For me? I still don't understand. You are surely mistaken, Nicholas. I am just Eliza. I am much as I have always been."
This time when he laughed, the sound was so loud that she was afraid that it would alert the party guests to their presence. Still, no one came, much to both her fear and relief.
Nicholas' eyes darkened. "No, you are not as you have always been, Izzy. In my eyes, for a very long time, you were a child. And then you glided into the Celestial Ball in that infernal gown. One that I - rather stupidly - selected for you. And suddenly, you became a woman. Full grown and lush. Ripe for my pleasure." Eliza gasped at his words. "One that I desire. I should not, but I do. And I cannot hide that fact much longer." His wolf's smile returned now. "And I never, ever refuse myself what I desire if it is within my power to obtain it."
He licked his lips and her eyes were drawn to the seductive curve of them. She remembered the way they had felt. How soft they had been. Now he was speaking words that she had never thought to hear. At least not from him. And he didn't seem a bit bothered by it. Instead, he was rather...well...predatory, she supposed.
His dark eyes glittered in the dim light and she saw him trace the lines of her body greedily with his eyes. "I was going to leave you alone, Izzy." More of that silky smooth voice of his and she felt herself begin to swoon. "I came in here to tell you that. To tell you that we needed to end this. Before I made a mistake and laid a hand on you. For you drive me to distraction, to the point where I forget what I am about."
Before Eliza could blink, Nicholas reached out and pulled her to him. "I bribed the servants to close off this room so that we could speak freely. Come up with a plan to set us both free from this false entanglement. And then?" He ran the pad of his bare thumb over the crook of her elbow, caressing the soft skin and making her tingle all over. Never had a single touch seemed more erotic to him. "Then I heard you. The desires you have kept in your heart. Never once did it occur to me that you might desire me as much as I desired you. Even after that kiss. And suddenly, this new plan of mine seemed so, so much better."
"We both agreed that the kiss last night was a mistake." Unable to help herself, Eliza reached out and placed her palm on Nicholas' chest. "That it should not happen again."
"You agreed," he replied smoothly, drawing her closer until their bodies were pressed so tightly together that she could feel the hard length of his erection against her stomach. "I, as you might recall, did not."
Eliza shook her head but he captured her chin with his fingertips, holding her in place with only the slightest of pressure. "Nicholas. No. I beg of you. Please do not toy with me. Not like this." She could feel the hot tickle of his breath on her neck and she shivered in spite of herself. "We are in private and I have asked you to stop this insanity. You are not cruel. You are many things, but not that. Do not show me what I cannot have, taunt me with it and then whisk it away. I cannot endure it."
The last thing Eliza wanted was to cry in front of Nicholas, but two single tears slipped down her cheek despite her best efforts. She was shocked when he kissed them away gently, his tenderness rocking her to her very core. "I cannot love you, Izzy," he whispered as he lowered his head to trace the line of her jaw with his lips. "But I can give you this. I can give you my body. I can give you the ultimate in pleasure. But only if you want it."
"I..." Eliza's head swam wildly, her thoughts careening out of control. She did not know what to say. "I..."
"Shh." Another kiss on the jaw, this one feather light, almost like a caress. "You do not have to answer me now. But think upon it, Izzy." Nicholas traced a finger lightly down the long column of her throat, making her shiver. "I can give you want you want. Physically at least." Then he suckled at the hollow of her throat, biting the tender skin there. Marking her as his property. Property of The Bloody Duke. Of Nicholas Rosemont.
Eliza couldn't help herself. She moaned deep in her throat. The sensations he was stirring up inside of her were so delicious. So perfect. So right. "And if I get with child during our time together?"
"I can prevent that from happening. If you like." Nicholas moved lower, tugging down the bodice of her gown to free her delectable breasts. Breasts he had longed to suckle for so very, very long. "Or not. The choice is entirely up to you." He licked at one nipple, delighted when the small bud of flesh peaked for him. "If you think you could endure a marriage to me, a marriage with no love, then should you allow me to bed you, we would do so freely. No restrictions. No barriers between us. Flesh upon flesh. Though in secret, obviously, for we do not wish to rush to the altar. However, if I get you with child, we will wed. That I promise you. After all, I need an heir, though I am also aware that given your age, it is unlikely that you would conceive. If there is no child, no one ever needs to know. We will decide together when to end this liaison." He licked the other nipple, thrilled that it was just as sensitive. She would be supremely responsive in bed, he was certain. "An affair, Eliza. I am offering you an affair."
"And if I say no?" Except that Eliza knew she wouldn't refuse. This was what she had asked for after all. A taste of passion. With Nicholas.
"Then we do not speak of the matter again. We see the current ruse through to the end and then part ways." He kissed the valley between her breasts, tasting the skin there with the tip of his tongue and making her squirm beneath him. "But I am every hopeful that you will say yes. It is what we both want." Then he drew in a deep breath, simply allowing himself to
savor the delightful scent of lavender, fresh air, and musky woman that was uniquely Eliza.
"But I will be faithful to you, Izzy." Nicholas needed to reassure her of that as well. "If you agree to let me have you, there will not be another. I am not that much of a cad. I cannot lie in the bed of another woman and take her while I am thinking of you."
Eliza was quick to respond, her own passion growing so fiercely in response to his words that it frightened her a bit. "I believe you, Nick. I know you better than that."
Nicholas was unaccountably relieved, though her words did nothing to cool his passion. He wanted this. He wanted her. He simply hadn't allowed himself to acknowledge that fact until he had come into the retiring room and found her revealing the secrets of her heart to a mirror. But now that she had? He was prepared to offer her what she wanted. But only if she played by his rules, his conditions. He was still The Bloody Duke after all. That would not change. Not even for her.
In Nicholas' arms, Eliza felt the world go soft and out of focus. None of it seemed real. How could it be real? Women like her did not have affairs. Then again, women like her were also resigned to lives as spinsters and bluestockings with no hope of any sort of passion in their lives. Nicholas was offering her that. In secret, of course, but still.
He was not offering her love, but then, she did not expect it. He had loved Ellie. Once and never again. However, Eliza didn't need love. She had never needed it. In truth, she had never truly had it. Not even from her parents. They loved Stephen. She was an afterthought. She could not miss or demand what she never experienced. But she had tasted passion. Just once. Last night in the garden. But it had been enough. It had shown her what she wanted again. What she craved again. And Nicholas was offering it to her on a silver platter. There was no way she could refuse him.
The Secret Seduction of Lady Eliza Page 16