Tension leaves me and I let the guilt go because all I need to know in this world is that he doesn’t blame me for what happened today. While it might take a little bit of time for me to convince myself of that, I can breathe a little easier tonight.
Chapter Nineteen
Michail
We just walked through Trista’s front door and the first thing I want to do is rip this fucking scrub shirt off. It’s uncomfortable as hell and isn’t something I want to be seen in. Fuck, I’d rather be shirtless than deal with this itchy thing on my skin. We make it into her kitchen and I place my hands on the island, catching my breath. I’ve been stabbed before, shot even, but I was younger. Guess my body could adapt a bit easier to it.
Pulling my right arm through the shirt, I then pull my left one out and start to pull the shirt up, but the pain intensifies and I let out a frustrated growl.
“Here, let me,” Trista’s soothing voice comes up from behind me and she pulls the shirt up to my neck, then stands on her tippy toes and removes it completely.
“Thank you,” I tell her, frustrated I can’t even do the simplest of things right now. When we were walking to the elevator, I had to lean on her a bit to even stand up straight. I’m not a weak man and while I know it, I’ve never felt weaker in my fuckin’ life.
Luckily for me, I have one hell of a strong woman by my side. And if going through all this with Trista has shown me anything, it’s how I don’t want to ever live a life without her. I’m not sure what it means for me, but I know I’ve never been a fan of marriage. I’ve seen far too much of it fail, how it destroys relationships, but I see something with her. I see more than I’ve seen with anyone else.
There’s something about her fucking smile, the way she runs her hand over her head when she’s nervous, and how when she’s scared, she’ll look to the ground like an innocent child. Whether it’s the greatest of her qualities or her biggest flaws, I don’t care. I don’t give a damn about any of it. I just look at her and see my future, which is more than I can say about what I’ve felt with any other woman. But Trista isn’t like anyone else, is she?
The realization hits me as I stand here and she looks like a baby deer that’s about to get hit, afraid for what’s coming, but I know her so very well these days. She’ll ask me what’s on my mind, and I’ll tell her something I’ve waited far too long to say.
“Are you okay?” She furrows her brows in an adorable way, which only makes me smile. She’s searching for some sort of answer, but she won’t find one. Trista places her hand on top of mine, and I nod.
“I love you, do you know that?”
She pulls her head back a bit and blinks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Sorry. W-what did you say?”
“You heard me, kukakla. My mysh’, my Trista, I love you,” I speak with the utmost sincerity, gauging her reaction as the power of my words hit her full throttle. Her eyes grow watery, and I know she’s about to cry as she sucks in her lips.
Tears quickly fall and with one hand supporting me on the island, I grab her and pull her against my chest with my free hand. The moment she’s touching my body, a sense of relief washes over me. This is what love is supposed to feel like, and I’ve never loved a woman. I realize it now. Trista has opened my heart in ways I never thought possible.
If I had to, I’d sacrifice my life for her. I’d gladly die to know she’s breathing, living her best life. After being stabbed, every thought or worry I had about us came to the surface, and I quickly realized how short life is. It’s not like this was my first time being hurt, but I’d never been hurt while having a partner. It hit me harder. It made me realize I had something to live for, how I wasn’t ready to die. We’re just lucky enough this wasn’t my last day with her, and I’m forever thankful. If it was, I might not have ever gotten the chance to say those important three words. Words I should’ve said earlier.
She looks up at me through thick lashes, tears still streaming down her face in an effortless flow. “For so long, I was told I never deserved love. I didn’t think . . . I didn’t think anyone would ever tell me that they . . .” Trista’s cry takes over her, and I rub her back. I know what she’s about to say and it only makes me want to fuck up Jacob even more. How could he make a woman like her feel this way? How, and why? Fuck, it makes me hate people.
I bring my hand up to her cheek and look down into her ocean blue eyes. “Trista, you deserve everything this world has to offer. Everything. Do you understand me?”
She nods once.
“Good. Don’t let his words haunt you anymore. He doesn’t get to leave an impression on your mind. He’s the sick individual, not you. You are a beautiful woman with a good heart.” I press a kiss to her forehead and as I do, she tells me something I’ve been waiting to hear.
“I love you too, Michail, so, so much . . . but I’ve been afraid to tell you. I’m so sorry.”
“Ssshh, no apologies are needed. We have the rest of our lives, my love.” I pull her against me a bit closer and while my side stings with pain, I don’t care. I’ll endure the pain if it means she’s closer to me.
Chapter Twenty
Trista
We spent two days at the apartment while Michail’s been healing a bit. While I wanted to meet the baby, I couldn’t bear to let Michail be in any pain. He told me we could go, but I wasn’t going to have him hurting, even if the man is stubborn as ever. We left the apartment a bit ago and I’m pleased he’s walking without leaning on me. Michail and I make our way up to the floor Dema and Kronid are on. Hopefully, they’ll be released today.
Michail’s walking a bit slower, but he’ll be okay. At least he’s standing on his own, and we’re taking it really slow. The doctor actually ended up telling him to take it easy when he was discharged two days ago. Thankfully, he hasn’t put up much of a fight, and I’m so grateful.
With his arm around my shoulders, Michail alleviates the rest of my fears. When he told me he loved me, it was beautiful. He helped me realize what I deserve and I’m glad it’s him. I’m grateful we walked into one another’s lives, and he doesn’t know it yet, but I’m making a promise to show him my appreciation when we get back to my apartment.
We get to Dema’s hospital room door and knock. Kronid’s deep voice comes from the other side, telling us to come in. I stay close to Michail as he opens the door, and we step through.
Upon entering the hospital room, I shoot them both a wide grin. Dema’s sitting up in the hospital bed, holding a little bundle of joy in a cream-colored blanket. Kronid’s sitting next to her with one leg stretched and the other’s bent.
“Hey,” I whisper in greeting.
Dema smiles. In fact, she’s grinning bigger than I think I’ve ever seen. “Hey, I was wondering if you forgot about us.”
“I could never forget about you,” I say, stepping away from Michail to move closer to Dema’s bedside.
“What happened to you?” Kronid demands, taking in Michail’s appearance. He’s a bit pale, but the doctor told us that was normal as well.
“I’ll fill you in later. Right now, you need to focus on the child,” Michail mutters, nodding to the bundle of joy. We decided not to tell Kronid what happened until they were out of the hospital. The last thing we need is for Kronid to leave Dema alone while they have a newborn, and knowing Kronid, he’d want to go handle things.
“So . . . a boy or girl?” I ask with the utmost excitement.
Grinning, Dema holds the little tike out to me and I scoop the baby up into my arms. “Meet Kazimir.”
Kazimir.
Glancing down, I smile at the little boy. A great name for a child who has parents who not only adore each other but would do something I never really had growing up. They’ll love Kazimir with all that they are. This little boy doesn’t understand it yet, but he’s so very lucky.
Kronid might be a hard ass and a broody man like Michail, but when he looks at Dema, he’s nothing of the sort.
“Hi, Kazimir,” I coo, swaying with him in m
y arms ever so gently.
“We have a question for the two of you,” Kronid announces.
“What would that be?” Michail asks, moving his arm around me as he looks down at the baby in my arms.
“Would the both of you honor us in being Kazimir’s godparents?” My heart skips a beat at Kronid’s question.
Oh.
My.
God.
I didn’t see this coming. Neither of them is religious, or at least I don’t think they are. Dema’s my best friend, but I never thought she’d ask me to be something so important.
“Yes,” I say, tears filling my eyes. “I would love to be his godmother.”
“You know I will protect your son with my life,” Michail announces, his hand tightens on my hip at the declaration, pulling me closer to him.
We spend a little bit longer with the small family and finally leave them to rest. We need to get back to the apartment anyway because Michail needs his rest too.
Stepping into my apartment, I lead Michail straight back to my room and we go to the bathroom. I grab a washcloth and turn the water in the sink on to get warm. I don’t want it overly hot, and he hasn’t been able to shower in the last two days because of the stitches. Michail doesn’t say anything as I remove his shirt and toss it in the hamper. I then unfasten his pants and slide them down his legs. Michail toes his shoes and pants off and stands before me gloriously naked.
I go about washing the grime from his skin. I may take a bit longer than usual, but I might be ogling over his glorious body. God, he’s carved from stone. I swear. Forcing the naughty thoughts back down, I keep wiping the cloth over him until he’s cleaned up. I take his hand and lead him to the bedroom, where he climbs into the bed while I strip out of my clothes.
Naked, I move to the other side of the bed and curl into him carefully, so I don’t hit where he was stabbed. Before long, Michail’s breathing is even and I follow right behind him, utterly exhausted after the last few days.
Tomorrow is looking brighter than ever and I look forward to waking up next to him. For once, maybe even the first time in my life, I can live without the fear of blood and torment following me.
I’m safe now, and more than that, I’m finally free.
Coming
February 4, 2022
Blood & Betrayal
(Pins and Needles #3)
Blood & Torment (Pins and Needles: Moscow Book 2) Page 9