She lifted her shoulder in a half-shrug. “I guess it was easier to believe in a curse than my father leaving us because he wanted to.”
“Now that you know the truth you can do something about it,” Toby suggested.
A nervous sensation fluttered in her belly. “Like what?”
Toby threw his hands in the air and shook his head. Then he looked at her like she was an idiot. “What would the two of you do without me? Go tell him you love him.”
Jade bit her lip. “How do you know how I—”
“Because sometimes I know you better than you know yourself. Change his mind. Nate’s crazy if he walks away from you.”
“I can’t ask him to leave the life he’s worked hard for. It’s important to him,” she said.
“It’s making him miserable.”
“What if…he doesn’t…” What if he doesn’t love me? she wanted to ask.
And like Toby read her mind, he said, “You’ll never know unless you try. I can’t tell you what you want to hear, but he has strong feelings for you too.”
Her stomach clenched. Could she lay her heart out? What if he rejected it? But what if he gave her his too? Could she let him go without ever knowing for sure?
She bounded off the couch. “I have to find Nate.”
* * * *
Toby wanted Nate to think about staying, think about a life with Jade. And that’s all he’d been doing, but he still hadn’t come up with an answer. When he thought about walking away from her, a knot the size of a basketball slammed into his chest.
Reaching his next stop, he parked in the visitor’s area. He got out of the car and walked along the pebbled path that led to a cream sandstone crypt. Dusk had fallen, and he should have felt creeped out alone in a cemetery, but lights shined over the manicured lawns and it wasn’t creepy at all. In fact, it was beautiful and peaceful.
Etched in the stone above the black wrought-iron gate was the name Miller. Taking the key out of his pocket, he put it in the lock and the door swung open on silent hinges. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim interior. He found a light switch by the door and flicked it on. A soft, golden glow filled the room of marble and stone. Thanks to the weekly fresh flowers Fi-Fi arranged, the place smelled like a florist.
No one knew where his parents were truly buried. Fans thought they were laid to rest in a cemetery in New York. When they’d passed away, Fi-Fi couldn’t bear having strangers taking photos of their graves like a tourist attraction, and she had their bodies moved to Australia and placed in her family crypt.
The names Liam and Natasha were the only names marked on the plague where they were buried. She’d kept Harvey off in case anyone figured out who they were. Not that anyone could get in without a key. But she didn’t want to take the risk.
Nate sat on the cold floor, leaned his back against the wall, and spread his legs out in front of him, looking up at his parents’ resting place. Sadness pressed heavy on his heart.
“I’m living your dream, Dad.” His deep voice echoed through the room. “I’ve kept the Harvey name alive.”
He remembered the last conversation he’d had with his father in the custom-built music studio attached to their house.
His father was playing an electric guitar, and Nate played an acoustic. They were jamming to an old Pink Floyd song, lost in the sounds they were making.
When the song ended, his father gave him a smile, and put his arm around Nate’s shoulders. “You have my talent, son. You still need a lot of work, but it’s getting better. Never let the Harvey name die.”
At first Nate was excited by this; it was the first time his father didn’t tell him he sounded terrible. “I’ve been working on some songs. Do you want to hear one?”
“Sure,” his father said, a little distracted as he fingered the strings of his guitar.
Nate only played a few seconds when his father stopped him. “What the hell was that?”
Nate dropped his head. “It’s my new song.”
His father laughed harshly. “You’re not playing for some pussy boy band. We’re all about rock-and-roll. Not that crap.”
A lump clogged in his throat, and his cheeks burned. “I like this music.”
His father stared at him like he’d grown two heads. “No son of mine will play that shit. Promise me you’ll forget about it and play the music men should play.”
“But—”
“You’ll be an embarrassment to my name. I haven’t taught you how to play for you to throw it all way. Promise me.”
If he didn’t promise, his father would stop playing music with him. It was the only time they spent together. “I promise,” he said in a small voice.
“Good, and don’t let me hear that shit again.” Then his father did something he’d never done before. He ruffled Nate’s hair and gave him a pat on the back. “I love you, son. You’re a good boy.” And he left the room.
That was the last time Nate saw him.
The memory blasted through his mind and pierced his heart almost as if it had only been yesterday. He pulled air into his lungs like he couldn’t breathe. All he ever wanted was for his father to love him. And when he played his music, he did. How could he stop?
And then he thought of Jade. She’d hit him like an explosion of bright, bubbly light. Making him want things he’d thought were out of reach. A normal life, his own dream…love. Because he loved Jade. And always would.
He glanced up at the wall with his parents’ names. His stomach twisted into a knot. He knew what he had to do.
Chapter 28
After Toby’s visit, Jade rushed to see Nate only to find he wasn’t home. She knew he hadn’t left yet because she could hear Dorito meowing from the other side of the door.
Back at her house, she kicked off her shoes, took her phone from her bag, and sent Nate a text asking him to come over. What she needed to say to him couldn’t be done over the phone. Nerves fluttered like a flock of birds in her stomach.
She stared at the phone, waiting for a response, when a knock sounded at the door. Could it be Nate? Jumping to her feet, she took a few steadying breaths and went to answer the door.
Nate stood under the dim yellow glow of the veranda light, and her heart tripped at the sight of him. The nerves dancing around in her stomach a moment ago now took over her body.
“You were fast.” Her voice shook a little.
He frowned with confusion.
“I just texted you to come over.” She smiled. Then she noticed the cat cage he held. Her heart sank. This wasn’t a good sign.
She gestured for him to come inside. Once in the living room, Nate put the cage on the floor and opened the latch to let Dorito out. Jade watched as the cat carefully stepped out and took a long look at his surroundings, wandering around the room until he found a dark, sheltered spot under an armchair.
If Jade took a big interest in the whereabouts of Dorito, it was because she didn’t know how to say what she wanted to. Toby said Nate was thinking about staying, but obviously he’d made up his mind. And his decision didn’t include Jade.
But she couldn’t let it end like this, not without him knowing how she felt. It was now or never. And if she didn’t tell him, she’d regret it for the rest of her life. And maybe, just maybe, once he heard her out, he’d want to stay.
“Can I get you anything? A coffee?” She had to say something. The silence was crushing.
“No, thanks. I should get going. I’ve got an early flight in the morning.” He slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans, not looking like he was ready to leave. But not looking like he wanted to stay either.
She took a couple of steps closer to him, and with a calm voice that belied her quivering emotions, she said, “I need to tell you something.”
She wanted to reach out and touch him, hold him in her arms, and let the emotions trembling through her heart pour into him. And she wanted to feel them back from him. But he stared at her with an unreadable expression.
Taking a deep breath, she wrung her hands in front of her. “All these years I’ve been wrong about the curse. It doesn’t exist.”
His eyebrows rose. “I’m glad. How did you figure it out?”
“My mother explained the story I believed in since I was a kid was an old diary written by a crazy relative. Apparently, there are dozens of stories like it. None of them true. And I guess I needed a reason for why my father left. Because why else would he leave my mother? They loved each other—or so I wanted to believe. How could he leave his family? But my mother told me she’d left him. I guess they weren’t as in love as I thought. I’ve wasted years believing in that stupid curse. It was the way I dealt with the separation. My dad wasn’t home often so the story had to be true. I should have let it go once I was old enough to understand. If I’m being honest, deep down I knew it sounded crazy—was crazy.” She shrugged. “But I needed to believe in order to cope.” She exhaled a long breath. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest now that the curse had released its binding hold on her. “And I’m glad I did.”
He gave her a confused expression. “Why do you say that?”
“Because if I didn’t believe in the curse, I could’ve been in a serious relationship by now or maybe even married.”
“That would be a good thing.” But he frowned like it wasn’t good at all.
She shook her head. “No, not a good thing, because then I would never have met you.” His shoulders slumped, and he looked away for a moment. But she continued on anyway. “I tried using the curse as an excuse not to get close to you. Tried to shield my heart so when you left it wouldn’t get broken. But it didn’t work. I still fell for you.”
“Jade—”
“I need to finish.” She held up her hand. “I want you in my life. I can’t imagine you not in it, and I’m hoping you want me in yours too. Please stay.”
Rubbing his hands over his face, he then blew out a long breath. “I can’t stay. The band… I need to keep it going.”
She didn’t miss that he didn’t tell her he wanted her too. Cracks were forming in her heart. “Is that what you want? Does it make you happy?”
He scrubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “It doesn’t matter if it makes me happy. It’s something I have to do. I’m sorry.”
“What about us? What about what we’ve had these last few weeks? Surely I haven’t imagined the connection?”
He dropped his hands on her shoulders and stared into her eyes. Sadness clouded over his. “What I feel for you is more than I’ve ever felt for anyone.”
Hope shot through her veins. “If the band is so important, then I’ll go with you.”
He let his arms fall to his sides. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t. I’m offering.”
“It would never work.”
“You were the one to suggest it.” She wrapped her arms around her middle, trying to hold herself together.
“I was wrong, I shouldn’t have. My lifestyle isn’t easy. Throw in the disguise and it’s impossible to have a normal life. I’ve never been able to commit to anyone because I’ve had to lie about what I do for a living. But even though you know about everything, our life together would be too hard, and it would eventually make you miserable. I couldn’t hurt you like that.”
But he was hurting her now, the cracks in her heart growing bigger the more he spoke. “You won’t even try?”
He shook his head. “You’d only end up hating me. I couldn’t live with that.”
God, she almost did what she promised him she wouldn’t do. I will not cry and chase after you when you leave. But that’s exactly what she wanted to do.
Barely holding it together, she nodded. Her throat was so tight she couldn’t speak. She turned away, unable to watch him walk out the door.
* * * *
Nate paused at his car and then kicked the tire. Dammit, he was the biggest arsehole on the planet. He’d hurt the one person he cared for the most.
He wanted to go back inside, pull her into his arms, and kiss her like there was no tomorrow. She’d probably kick him out before he had the chance. After the way he rejected her, he deserved it.
So before he could change his mind, he got into his car and drove away. It was for the best. She needed a man who could give her one hundred percent. Not someone who’d come and go whenever there was a break during touring.
Yes, it was for the best. So why did he feel like something had shot him in the chest?
Chapter 29
The phone in Nate’s pocket buzzed the second he walked into his apartment in Manhattan. He dug it out and saw Toby’s name lit up on the screen. Feeling too drained to talk to anyone, he wanted to let it go to voicemail. He’d just spoken to Toby two days ago at his grandmother’s house. But what if it was important? What if it had something to do with Fi-Fi or Jade?
He slid his finger across the screen to answer the call. “Toby, is there a problem?”
“Yes, there’s a problem. It’s Jade,” his friend answered.
At the mention of her name Nate’s fingers tightened around the phone and his heartbeat raced. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”
“You happened. What the fuck did you do to her? I told you I’d kick your arse if you hurt her. And I’m tempted to get on the next plane out there to do just that.” Toby’s anger vibrated through the phone.
“You’ve seen her?”
“Yes, I’ve seen her. Only because I threatened to break down her door if she didn’t let me in. I can’t believe you fucking left her. She’s a mess.”
Nate sunk down on the nearest couch, placed his elbows on his knees, and dropped his head in his free hand. “She’ll be okay.” Give her time and she’d forget all about him.
“How the hell do you know? You broke her heart and took off before you saw the damage you did.”
A cold tightness invaded his chest. “I tried not to hurt her. I explained why I had to leave. My lifestyle isn’t good for a relationship.”
“Then change your lifestyle. You hate it anyway,” his friend spat.
“Toby, you know why—”
“Yeah, I know, you’re keeping your father’s memory alive. Great. But what did he do for you besides teach you how to play guitar when he had a spare five minutes once every six months? Hardly Father of the Year to hold in such high esteem. He was a shit parent. I’m sorry to say that, but you need to hear it. And you’re putting him before someone who loves you and would do anything for you. Someone who handed you her heart. Someone I know you love too. But you left the best thing to ever happen in your life. And if you can’t see that, then you deserve to be miserable.”
With that, the phone went silent. Toby hung up.
Nate threw it at the wall, shattering it into pieces, and shoved his fingers through his hair. What the hell does Toby know? But Nate had told him enough about his childhood for him to understand what his life had been like.
He rose and paced the room. As a kid, Nate rarely saw his parents. And when he did, it was brief. And so, when his father told him that one time that he loved him, it was like winning the lottery.
When Jade asked him to stay, she hadn’t said she loved him. But he could see it shining from her eyes. Could feel it the last time they’d made love. And that was better than winning the lottery. She’d handed him the world. And he rejected her by walking away.
It was time to stop living his life for other people—people who were never in his life enough to deserve such devotion—and do what made him happy. Be with who made him happy.
But before he could fly back to Australia, he needed to sort a few things out first.
Picking up the landline phone, he dialed Mike’s number. When he answered, Nate said, “Get the band here ASAP. I’ve got news.”
* * * *
Jade was done crying. She’d sobbed on Toby’s shoulder and on Ava, Lauren’s, and her family’s shoulders. But now it was time to put on her big
girl panties and face the world. She’d chosen Wonder Woman today because she was fierce. Well, she’d pretend to be until it happened.
It had been three weeks since Nate left, and she’d been through hell and back. But no more. It was time to pick up the pieces. With the curse finally broken—well, it was never really true—she didn’t live under the shadow of it anymore. Maybe one day she might fall in love again, but at the moment, it hurt too much for her heart to imagine.
The distance she’d put between herself and her father was closing. They’d made plans to catch up, and she no longer avoided his calls. Their relationship was slowly growing stronger.
Too many memories of Nate surrounded her here in Brimland Point, and to try to truly get over him, she needed to leave. She’d miss the place. Miss her family and friends, and Dorito too. But it was what she needed to do to help her heart heal.
A knock sounded at the door.
“I’ll get it,” Connor called out. Her brother was giving her a lift to the airport.
She quickly scanned the room in case she’d forgotten anything and headed toward the living room.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she heard Connor growl.
“I need to see Jade.” The answering voice sent shivers down her spine and turned her knees to jelly. Steadying herself, she placed a palm on the wall and peered around it in the direction of the front door.
Connor stood with his legs braced apart and his arms crossed over his chest, blocking the doorway. “She doesn’t want to see you, so get back in your car and piss off.”
“I’d rather Jade tell me that.” Nate stood his ground, not intimidated by her brother still dressed in his police uniform.
“You’ve missed your chance. She’s leaving,” Connor snapped.
“She’s leaving? For how long?”
“Indefinitely.”
“If you won’t let me in, at least tell her I’m here and let her decide if she wants to speak to me or not.” Was that desperation Jade heard in Nate’s voice?
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