by Suetonius
57. Not even in boyhood was Tiberius’ cold, harsh nature concealed. Theodorus of Gadara, his rhetoric teacher, seemed to be the first both to see it fully and to capture it in a most fitting comparison when, scolding Tiberius from time to time, he called him “mud, kneaded with blood.”
But his nature revealed itself considerably more after he became emperor, even in the early days when he was still trying to gain people’s favor by a pretense of moderation. (2) As a funeral was passing by and some smart aleck loudly instructed the corpse to tell Augustus that his legacies to the people had not been paid out, Tiberius had the man dragged to him and ordered that he be given what he was owed: to be led off to execution so he could tell the truth to Augustus.
Not long afterward, an equestrian named Pompeius was refusing to do something in the Senate. Tiberius threatened to clap him into chains and swore that he would make a Pompeian out of Pompeius. It was a cruel pun on the name of the man and the fate of the old party.9
58. Around the same time, when a praetor asked whether Tiberius was ordering trials for treason to be convened, he replied that the laws must be enforced, and enforce them he did, savagely. One man had removed the head of Augustus from a statue so that he could place another one on. The trial was heard in the Senate, and since there was some uncertainty, evidence was obtained by torture. After the defendant was convicted, this sort of accusation gradually reached the point that even the following were capital offenses: to beat a slave, or change one’s clothes, near a statue of Augustus; to bring a coin or ring with Augustus’ likeness into a latrine or brothel; to criticize any word or deed of Augustus. Ultimately, even a man who allowed an honor to be decreed to himself in his colony on the same day on which honors had once been decreed to Augustus was put to death.
59. Tiberius committed many cruel and savage deeds, under the guise of strictness and improving morals—but really in keeping with his own nature. Some men had recourse to poetry to criticize the times they were living in and to warn about those to come:
O cruel and savage man, do you want me
to say it all briefly?
I’ll be damned forever, if your mother is
able to love you!
You are no knight, how can I tell? You
lack the hundred thousands.
And if you really want to know, Rhodes
is a place of exile.
O Caesar, you have modified the golden
age of Saturn.
For as long as you shall live, it always
will be iron.
He has no taste for any wine, since now
he thirsts for blood,
For this he gulps as eagerly as once he
gulped hard drink.
(2) Look, Romulus, at Sulla’s luck: ’twas
luck for him not you.
And if you will, take Marius too, but
after his return.
And then there is Antonius, fomenting
civil wars:
Look at his hands, stained more than
once with blood of citizens.
And say: the end of Rome is nigh! For he
who was exiled,
And then comes back acquiring rule, he
rules most bloodily.
At first, he wanted these to be taken as the compositions of those who could not stand his reforms and who spoke less in candor than out of anger and annoyance, and he would say again and again: “Let them hate me, so long as they accept!” But later he himself proved that these things were clearly true and beyond dispute.
60. A few days after he came to Capri and was keeping to himself, a fisherman unexpectedly brought him a mullet.10 Terrified, because the man had snuck up on him from the back of the island on rugged ground that lacked trails, Tiberius ordered the man’s face rubbed all over by the fish. When, however, in the middle of being punished, the man said he was glad that he had not brought a very large lobster that he had caught, Tiberius ordered his face to be slashed with the lobster also. He sentenced to death a soldier of the praetorian guard for stealing a peacock from his garden. Another time, on one of his journeys, the litter on which he was being carried got struck in the briars, and Tiberius threw to the ground the man who scouted the route—a centurion in the first cohorts—and nearly beat him to death.
61. Later he burst out into every sort of crime, never lacking for an opportunity: he first went after friends and even acquaintances of his mother, then those of his grandsons and daughter-in-law, and finally those of Sejanus. After Sejanus’ death, he was found to be especially harsh, and so it really became clear that it was not that Tiberius was spurred on by Sejanus: Sejanus gave Tiberius the opportunities that he was looking for. And yet in the notes in which he briefly summarized his life, he dared to write that he had punished Sejanus because he had realized that Sejanus had raged savagely against the children of his son Germanicus. In fact, Tiberius killed one of those children after Sejanus had already come under suspicion, and the other only after Sejanus’ fall.
(2) To go through all of his acts of cruelty one by one would be tedious. It will be sufficient to relate the general categories of his savagery. Not a day passed without people getting punished, not even days when public business was banned; some were put to death on New Year’s Day. Many were accused and condemned along with their children—and even by their children. It was forbidden for the relatives of those sentenced to death to mourn them. Special rewards were decreed to accusers, sometimes even to witnesses. Credence always was given to informers.
(3) Every crime was considered a capital one, even if it consisted of a few innocent words. It was held against a poet that in a tragedy he had insulted Agamemnon, against a historian that he had said Brutus and Cassius were the last of the Romans; the authors were put to death and their writings destroyed, although their work had met with approval when recited some years before, with even Augustus listening.
(4) Some of those put into prison not only had the consolation of reading taken away; they even lost the privilege of speech and conversation. Summoned to plead their cases, some wounded themselves at home, sure they would be condemned and wishing to avoid harassment and shame, while others drank poison in the middle of the Senate-house; and yet, with their wounds bound up, half-alive and still breathing, they were dragged to the jail. All of those put to death were thrown out on the Steps of Mourning and dragged with a hook to the Tiber River. On a single day, twenty met this fate, including women and boys. (5) Since by tradition it was forbidden for virgins to be strangled, young girls were first violated by the executioner, then strangled.
Those who wanted to die were forced to live. Tiberius regarded death so light a punishment that when he heard that one of those on trial, a man named Carnulus, had taken his life, he cried out, “Carnulus has escaped me!” And as he was inspecting the prisons, when a man begged for his punishment to end, Tiberius replied: “I have not yet reconciled myself to you.”
(6) A former consul included this story in his annals: at a crowded party, at which the historian himself was present, Tiberius was all of a sudden asked out loud by a dwarf standing among the jesters at the table why Paconius, on trial for treason, was still alive. Tiberius immediately scolded the man for his cheekiness, but a few days later he wrote to the Senate that they must decide as soon as possible about the punishment for Paconius.
62. Irritated by a disclosure about the death of his son Drusus, he increased his savagery and took it to greater lengths. He had been under the impression that Drusus had died from illness and extravagant living. And so, when he at last learned that Drusus had been poisoned through the treachery of Livilla (Drusus’ wife) and Sejanus, Tiberius did not spare anybody torture or punishment. He was so entirely focused on this investigation and wrapped up in it for entire days, that when he was told of the arrival of a guest from Rhodes, whom in a friendly letter he had asked to Rome, he ordered that the man should immediately be tortured, thinking that somebody essential to the trial had come.
Then, when the mistake was discovered, the man was ordered killed so that he would not publicize the wrong he had suffered.
(2) The site of his executions on Capri is still shown today. From it, after long and elaborate tortures, he would order the condemned thrown into the sea while he looked on. A group of marines picked up the bodies and struck them with poles and oars so that not a drop of life was left in them. Among the types of torture he had devised was this: men would be tricked into loading themselves up with a large drink of wine and then all of a sudden he would tie their penises up and put them under the simultaneous strain of the cords and the blockage of their urine.
(3) Had not death prevented him and Thrasyllus—deliberately, they say—forced him to put off certain actions in the hope of a longer life, it is believed he would have killed quite a few more and even would have taken the lives of his remaining grandchildren, since he held Gaius under suspicion and he spurned Tiberius as the fruit of an adulterous union.11 This is likely to be true: over and over he called Priam lucky for having outlived all of his family members.
63. There are many signs not just of how hated and cursed he was through all of this, but also how much he lived in fear, even subject to insult. He forbade the soothsayers from being consulted, except openly and with witnesses. He also tried to suppress the oracles near the city of Rome, but stopped after being frightened by the power of the Praenestine lots: sealed up in a box and taken to Rome, they could not be found until the box was taken back to the temple. (2) After giving provinces to a few former consuls, he did not dare let the men leave his sight and held them back until a few years later he named their successors. In the meantime, as their official title remained, he frequently assigned them many tasks, which they had carried out by their officers and assistants.
64. After his daughter-in-law and grandsons were condemned, he never had them moved except in chains and in a closed litter. A guard prevented all who met them on the journey from looking at them or even from stopping.
65. Sejanus was plotting revolution, and it was only with difficulty that Tiberius finally destroyed him, even though he saw that by this point Sejanus’ birthday was being celebrated publicly and golden statues of him worshipped everywhere. Tiberius did it with sly cunning rather than imperial authority. The first step was to remove Sejanus from his presence while appearing to honor him. Tiberius made him his colleague in his fifth consulship, taking up the office after a long hiatus but in absentia, precisely for this purpose. Then, deceiving him with the hope of a relationship by marriage and tribunician power, the emperor had him off his guard and attacked him in a shameful and pathetic speech sent to Rome. Among other things, he begged the Senators to send one of the consuls with a guard of soldiers to bring him, a poor and lonely old man, into their presence. (2) Still distrustful, however, and fearing a revolt, he ordered his grandson Drusus, who was still imprisoned in Rome, to be freed, if the situation demanded it, and put in command. He also had ships prepared and thought about fleeing to some of the legions. From a lofty cliff he kept watching for signals that he had ordered to be made from afar when anything happened, to prevent the messages from being late. But even after the conspiracy of Sejanus was stopped, he was no more free of worry or steadfast, and for the next nine months he did not leave the so-called Villa of Io.12
66. Moreover, all kinds of reproaches coming from every direction disturbed his already anxious mind. Every person condemned to death piled all types of abuse on him, either in person or through pamphlets left in the theater. He was affected by these in quite different ways: sometimes, out of a feeling of shame, he wanted everything to remain unknown and hidden, while at other times he considered what was said to be unimportant and actually spread it around widely. He even was attacked in a letter of Artabanus, the Parthian king, who faulted him for his parricides, his murders, his idleness, and his luxury, and urged him to atone for the strong and well-deserved hatred citizens had for him by immediately taking his own life.
67. Finally, even Tiberius was disgusted with himself and admitted that he had all but reached a low in misery in a letter that began as follows: “What should I write to you, Senators, or how should I write, or what should I not write at all at this time? May the gods and goddesses strike me with something worse than my feeling that every day is death, if I know!”
(2) Some think that he had gained awareness of all of this in advance through a knowledge of the future and had long before foreseen how much bitterness and notoriety lay in store for him; and that, when he entered into imperial power, he stubbornly refused to be called “Father of His Country” and have his acts affirmed by oath so that he would not be found unworthy of such honors and thereby increase his disgrace. (3) This can clearly be concluded from a speech of his that he gave on both matters, for example where he says: “I will always be true to myself and never change my ways, for as long as I am of sound mind. But the Senate should set a good precedent and not bind itself to the acts of anybody, since a person might through some misfortune change.”
And this passage too: (4) “If you ever come to have doubts about my character and my dedication to you—and before this should happen, may my final day spare me from a change in your opinion of me—the title of Father will then add no honor to me, but be a reproach to you, either for the rashness in which you gave this name to me or the inconstancy of reversing your view of me.” (Tiberius 38–67)
Tiberius died in A.D. 37, seventy-six years old. He was traveling in southern Italy, trying to get back to Capri, when he succumbed—probably to natural illness, although some later claimed his grandson Caligula had murdered him. The news of his death caused such joy in Rome that people ran around shouting: “Tiberius to the Tiber!”
38. Biennio continuo post adeptum imperium pedem porta non extulit; sequenti tempore praeterquam in propinqua oppida et, cum longissime, Antio tenus nusquam afuit, idque perraro et paucos dies; quamuis prouincias quoque et exercitus reuisurum se saepe pronuntiasset et prope quotannis profectionem praepararet, uehiculis comprehensis, commeatibus per municipia et colonias dispositis, ad extremum uota pro itu et reditu suo suscipi passus, ut uulgo iam per iocum Callip
ides uocaretur, quem cursitare ac ne cubiti quidem mensuram progredi prouerbio Graeco notatum est.
39. sed orbatus utroque filio, quorum Germanicus in Syria, Drusus Romae obierat, secessum Campaniae petit; constanti et opinione et sermone paene omnium quasi neque rediturus umquam et cito mortem etiam obiturus. quod paulo minus utrumque euenit; nam neque Romam amplius rediit [s]et paucos post dies iuxta Tarracinam in praetorio, cui Speluncae nomen est, incenante eo complura et ingentia saxa fortuito superne dilapsa sunt, multisque conuiuarum et ministrorum elisis praeter spem euasit.
40. Peragrata Campania, cum Capuae Capitolium, Nolae templum Augusti, quam causam profectionis praetenderat, dedicasset, Capreas se contulit, praecipue delectatus insula, quod uno paruoque litore adiretur, saepta undique praeruptis immensae altitudinis rupibus et profundo mari[s]. statimque reuocante assidua obtestatione populo propter cladem, qua apud Fidenas supra uiginti hominum milia gladiatorio munere amphitheatri ruina perierant, transiit in continentem potestatemque omnibus adeundi sui fecit: tanto mag
41. Regressus in insulam rei p. quidem curam usque adeo abiecit, ut postea non decurias equitum umquam supplerit, non tribunos militum praefectosque, non prouinciarum praesides ullos mutauerit, Hispaniam et Syriam per aliquot annos sine consularibus legatis habuerit, Armeniam a Parthis occupari, Moesiam a Dacis Sarmatisque, Gallias a Germanis uastari neglexerit: magno dedecore imperii nec minore discrimine.
42. ceterum secreti licentiam nanctus et quasi ciuitatis oculis remotis, cuncta simul uitia male diu dissimulata tandem profudit: de quibus singillatim ab exordio referam. in castris tiro etiam tum propter nimiam uini auiditatem pro Tiberio Biberius, pro Claudio Caldius, pro Nerone Mero uocabatur. postea princeps in ipsa publicorum morum correctione
cum Pomponio Flacco et L. Pisone noctem continuumque biduum epulando potandoque consumpsit, quorum alteri Syriam prouinciam, alteri praefecturam urbis confestim detulit, codicillis quoque iucundissimos et omnium horarum amicos professus. (2) Cestio Gall[i]o, libidinoso ac prodigo seni, olim ab Augusto ignominia notato et a se ante paucos dies apud senatum increpito cenam ea lege condixit, ne quid ex consuetudine immutaret aut demeret, utque nudis puellis ministrantibus cenaretur. ignotissimum quaesturae candidatum nobilissimis anteposuit ob epotam in conuiuio propinante se uini amphoram. Asellio Sabino sestertia ducenta donauit pro dialogo, in quo boleti et ficedulae et ostreae et turdi certamen induxerat. nouum denique officium instituit a uoluptatibus, praeposito equite R. T. Caesonio Prisco.
43. secessu uero Caprensi etiam sellaria excogitauit, sedem arcanarum libidinum, in quam undique conquisiti puellarum et exoletorum greges monstrosique concubitus repertores, quos spintrias appellabat, triplici serie conexi, in uicem incestarent coram ipso, ut aspectu deficientis libidines excitaret. (2) cubicula plurifariam disposita tabellis ac sigillis lasciuissimarum picturarum et figurarum adornauit librisque Elephantidis instruxit, ne cui in opera edenda exemplar impe[t]ratae schemae deesset. in siluis quoque ac nemoribus passim Venerios locos commentus est prost[r]antisque per antra et causa rupes ex utriusque sexus pube Paniscorum et Nympharum habitu, quae palam iam et uulgo nomine insulae abutentes Caprineum dictitabant.
44. Maiore adhuc ac turpiore infamia flagrauit, uix ut referri audiriue, nedum credi fas sit, quasi pueros primae teneritudinis, quos pisciculos uocabat, institueret, ut natanti sibi inter femina uersarentur ac luderent lingua morsuque sensim adpetentes; atque etiam quasi infantes firmiores, necdum tamen lacte depulsos, inguini ceu papillae admoueret, pronior sane ad id genus libidinis et natura et aetate. (2) quare Parrasi quoque tabulam, in qua Meleagro Atalanta ore morigeratur, legatam sibi sub condicione, ut si argumento offenderetur decies pro ea sestertium acciperet, non modo praetulit, sed et in cubiculo dedicauit. fertur etiam in sacrificando quondam captus facie ministri acerram praeferentis nequisse abstinere, quin paene uixdum re diuina peracta ibidem statim seductum constupraret simulque fratrem eius tibicinem; atque utrique mox, quod mutuo flagitium exprobrarant, crura fregisse.