The Amazing Adventures Of The Human Bob In The Galactic Zoo

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The Amazing Adventures Of The Human Bob In The Galactic Zoo Page 5

by Horia Hulea

Chapter 5

  And so it happens that after a few days, every kid passing in front of the human box finds themselves ignored by Bob.

  Not only that, but the old, simple, dumb Bob seems to be replaced by a humming Bob (again the humming? Wasn’t the humming something specific to the OTHER aliens? Seems to be contagious) who is turned with his back while joyously cutting his toenails.

  There is nothing more satisfying than cutting your nails while having a bulletproof plan.

  Because for the last three days, Bob has put to work every point of his IQ into convincing Mentoid Joe to help him. And help him Joe will since tonight is the night of the great escape!

  This will be the last day under the rule of these vicious creatures. The last day under their evil dominance.

  Oh, how he wishes he could be here tomorrow and see these furry little creatures staring at an empty box with nobody to stare back!

  Oh, how these evil overlords will cry, wiping their tears with their fluffy ears.

  "How did he escape?" they will wonder.

  "What kind of brilliant plan did he put in motion to outsmart us? The mystery will go unsolved and it will haunt us for generations to come!"

  Hordes of bunnies with detective magnifying glasses will search for clues in every corner of this box and waste their entire lives looking for clues. Meetings upon meetings of investigation experts in their lab coats will be arguing for centuries.

  But they will never know!

  "Losing this fine specimen is one of the greatest tragedies our institution has ever witnessed! Unfortunately, from now on, we will have to manage with Dude, this sorry excuse of a human."

  That is what you get for imprisoning the daredevil Bob!

  A faint squeaky-squeak sound woke him up from the daydream of the escape aftermath. A squeak that is so strange and yet so familiar. A squeak that reminds him of bad things to follow.

  He turns.

  The squeak stops.

  A shlumpy voice follows.

  "Here you go, lil’ mentoid! Nice solution there! No need to stress yourself."

  And then followed by the rushing Fat Bunny with a long, trailing scream of "Noooooo . . . (breathe in) . . . ooooooooo."

  And pop goes the mentoid.

 

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