by JM HART
Casey caught the pillow before she planted another playful blow to his head. “And let’s not mention how you guys have dragged me across the world away from everything I have ever known.”
“Is that what you think?” Amy’s eyebrows lifted slightly, looking him straight in the eyes. “Really … is that what you think, is that how you feel?” She looked concerned, and her shoulders slumped.
Casey saw the pain in her eyes. “No. I’m sorry. That’s not … that was lousy. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not how I feel. I just feel, I don’t know, I feel trapped. I sometimes feel impatient, like there is something more I should be doing. But I am so scared of whatever it is. I’m afraid of something I am not even aware of. It’s like I have eaten something sour and my mouth feels like velvet. I miss my mom and being a kid. I don’t feel like a kid any more. I am only fourteen, and I feel forty.” Casey swallowed his emotions. “It’s like there is a battle somewhere and I need to go and be part of it.”
“Go? Go where.”
“I don’t know. Wherever the battle is. But I can’t even see the enemy that we are supposed to be fighting. It makes me feel useless, which pisses me off. I feel frustrated.”
“Really, we understand precisely. We are living amongst great darkness. We’re bound to sense the heaviness and confusion as the world battles the virus. If we start thinking bad thoughts, then that’s all we are going to have. We have to create our own reality and ride through this storm. There is no Noah’s Ark, or Moses parting the waters. The messiah hasn’t arrived, it’s up to you,” she said pointing to her head. “The greatest battle is within you, Casey. It all starts in here.”
“What about getting a boat? We can make it to the ocean.”
“Then what? Where would we go?”
“What about Israel?”
“What? Why Israel?”
“Forget it. I don’t know what I’m thinking,” Casey said, pushing his hair off his brow and letting out a deep sigh.
He knew Amy was aware that he was struggling, wrestling on the inside, but he wasn’t going to share any more.
“There’re two ways to Israel. You could sail into the North Sea, down to the English Channel, out into the Celtic Sea past France and down around Spain to get to the Mediterranean Sea and up to Israel. But none of us knows anything about sailing and ocean currents. We could also consider driving the Channel Tunnel to France, across Austria, until finally going through Turkey and Syria. Who in their right mind would want to do that? It would take considerable time and planning under normal conditions. We can’t drive for more than an hour, Casey, before we are turned back by the army, and we are hindered by the infected. Besides all that, you would have to have a pretty compelling reason to embark on a journey that just might kill you. But, having said that, that’s how you can get to Israel, logistically. Oh, and you can also fly, but we would be shot down.” Amy turned on her heel and headed for the stairs. “Now, are you coming? Terry could use those growing muscles of yours.”
Casey moaned at the prospect of physical labor and followed Amy. He grappled for the banister and hoisted himself up, one stair at a time.
*
Glad the day was over, Casey stretched out in bed, hearing Amy and Terry arguing in their bedroom. The air grilles in the walls filtered sound like an intricate cochlear system. The staff in the past must have had a field day with gossip.
“I’m worried about Casey,” Amy was saying. “I’m not sure if he is handling this as well as I thought he was.”
“How is he supposed to handle it?” Terry said. “I am having trouble and he is just a boy. I wanted to scream every time there was a report of a tsunami. Every time I saw reporters focusing like leeches on the faces of crying people as they walked amongst the debris searching for survivors, screaming out their loved ones’ names, hoping somehow they were alive. Or the earthquakes in California and Japan. The volcano eruptions in Italy and Hawaii. How are any of us supposed to cope? Then there is this goddamn virus. We’re being crushed like ants. How is he meant to be coping, Amy? Tell me that?”
“Why are you yelling at me? What? Are we supposed to just give up and die?”
“No, I didn’t say that —”
“Well, you might as well have. I’m going downstairs to read my book,” she yelled.
Casey pulled the pillow around his ears and focused on the chest of drawers. His eyebrows knitted together as the drawers slid across the floor, screeching like a nail dragged down a chalkboard; it sent a chill down his spine, his body shivered. Casey released the pressure on the pillow, comfortable now he was no longer unintentionally eavesdropping. He had never heard them arguing before and it was toxic. He sensed the cause was the dark cloud hanging above the house, manipulating them, feeding off their anger. He closed his eyes, wandering into sleep thinking about Sophia, hoping she would hurry. Is she real or is she a ghost? She better be real, or they’re all going to die.
13
Interdimensional travel: Kevin. Australia
Comfortable the men weren’t coming back, Kevin soaked up his surroundings. The air was cooler in this parallel world, it looked alive, smelt fresh like after a summer storm. He felt safe. He wasn’t tired or frightened; his body was relaxed and energized. Where are we?
“You’re in my head again,” Tim said.
Kevin ignored Tim and said, “It’s the same place as before, but it’s different somehow. It’s in a different spot, too. We were on the other side of the burnt-out car.”
“I’m telling you, man, you created it.”
“Really, wake up! That’s ridiculous. Can’t you be serious for once? Sometimes I wonder how we became friends.”
“Don’t put shit on me. We’re friends because nobody else would be your friend. Since the first day of school you’ve been weird; you’d put your parka on before it started raining. You knew when the school bullies were coming and walked the other way. You’ve known the answers all your life. You’d stand up before the principal even walked in the room. Everyone said that when you saw a kid drown in the river, you were looking for attention. The cops and all the people searching found nothing, no such kid. But for some reason, I believed you. That’s why we are friends. That and you like baseball.
“Look at this place, K. It’s magical and you created it. No one can see us behind this wall, this waterfall of … rippling jelly. It’s so smooth, and it moves like silk. It’s endless. It flows down into the earth, but it doesn’t pool, and it’s not wet. We are in a cocoon of electrifying energy. This is an image through the lens of a slow shutter. The colors are so transparent and vibrant it’s like going into a 3D gaming zone. Man, what I would give to be able to create another world.” A bug landed on the back of Tim’s hand and he turned it over and over again as he spoke. He touched the tiny transparent wings, giving himself an electric shock.
“I didn’t create it.”
“Sure you did.”
“No. I’ve just opened a doorway, like some portal.” A little blue-winged bug flew above Kevin’s head and was quickly joined by another and another. Kevin felt the ground move under his feet and he quickly jumped back.
“A door to where?” Tim asked.
“I don’t know,” Kevin said, looking at his feet. “The ground smells like earth. The dirt looks rich and moist and the air is filled with aroma. An electric-blue sky can be seen between those giant trees. We can still see the river and the burnt forest, but we can’t smell it, or feel it. It’s sort of familiar but I get the impression we are far away. It is neither hot nor cold. As magical as this is, it’s not reality.”
“Yes, it is, because we’re here, we’re in it,” said Tim.
“You can hear my voice inside your head. How is that reality?”
“It belongs in here in this reality. Not out there. How many times have we heard in science that we only use a small percentage of our brains? Maybe it is reality here in this world and in our world too, but we don’t know how to access it. We don�
�t know how to jump a level, we can’t search for the cheats, this isn’t Halo. You have to stop running from yourself, K.”
Kevin jumped back. The tree roots had slightly lifted up out of the ground as if shifting position, making themselves more comfortable, nearly knocking Kevin off his feet.
The petite blue-winged creature flew off the back of Tim’s hand and landed on the massive tree trunk. Tim’s gaze raced up the side of the tree and watched the canopy shake like a wet dog. Birds went flying, as if woken abruptly from an afternoon slumber, squawking loudly, and then peacefully settled back in the foliage as the tree completed its stretch. The roots burrowed back deep into the soil and everything went still for a few seconds.
Kevin looked off into the distance, deep into the forest. He saw a white deer staring at him. Kevin detected the deer before he saw it. Gentleness radiated from the creature, overshadowing everything else. Its surrounding light shone, beckoning him, and he started walking towards it, moving deeper into the foreign world away from the window that led the way home. Tim followed.
“I’ve seen this deer before,” Kevin said. “When we were in the wall, in transition, the first time … when we were leaving, remember? Moments before you pulled me out, I saw the deer and felt it calling. Remember I told you.”
The foliage thickened; iridescent colors bloomed. The blue bugs continued to fly around their heads. Kevin noticed one sat on his shoulder and one was on Tim’s crown. The forest would open up — virtually stepping aside for the deer to pass — and then close in behind them. Kevin and Tim were filled with wonder and continued to follow the deer deeper into the forest. The glowing blue creatures flew over and around the deer, settling on its back, taking the form of a human-like fairy, with a set of massive blue transparent wings and elfish ears. You could see its veins the wings were so thin. Kevin was worried that a strong wind would cause them to tear.
They’re stronger than they look.
That wasn’t Tim, Kevin thought.
No, not me, bro. Do you think it’s the deer?
Kevin didn’t respond, just waited. But no more was said and their attention was captured by a translucent, pink crystal waterfall, channeled along thirteen streams that pooled together into a sparkling lagoon. A garden surrounded the body of water. Soft voices came from no particular direction, drifting upon the air like a song. The white deer gently stepped off the grass and onto the water. The boys stood at the edge and watched, wondering if they should attempt to follow, wondering if they would sink.
Come, said a voice inside their minds.
Kevin stretched his leg out; his foot hovered over the water. “Here goes!” He didn’t plunge straight down like he expected. The water gently lapped at his shoes. It was a weird sensation: his body felt like his blood was carbonated, he felt elated and bubbling with joy. They both followed the deer, experiencing a sensory overload as they walked.
“It’s like I’ve been shaken like a soda bottle and the lid has just popped off,” Tim said aloud. This isn’t anything like walking on a waterbed. Where do you think we are going? Maybe we are dead for real this time.
The blue-winged creature riding upon the deer disappeared into a hundred sparks of flickering light. The deer’s long muscular legs disappeared behind the waterfall and into a cave. Kevin was right behind and he was bone-dry. The cave was lit with purple and white crystals. Fifteen feet ahead was the exit, as wide as a bus, and beyond that a row of swaying willow trees. The forest continued sliding back for them to pass. Kevin, looking up, noticed shining stars and a glowing moon in the daytime sky. How bizarre, he thought, this is so cool.
*
“Look,” Tim said. “It’s the wall. We’re back where we started.”
Kevin soaked up the details of the outer world, making comparisons in his mind. “No, we can’t be, look, the trees, they’re not burnt. That place isn’t home.”
Exposed creek-bed rocks and fallen branches covered in moss lay outside the wall and the sky was filled with looming dark clouds. A howl penetrated the rippling liquid membrane. “I think it’s Earth,” Kevin said. “Maybe we’re in a different place.”
Kevin looked at Tim. “Can you hear that? Wolves.”
The deer turned around and came up behind Kevin, nudging him forward into the wall. He stepped closer scrutinizing the shapes in the dry creek bed; nestled against a fallen tree was a body. The deer nudged him again. The wolf howled louder, closer. “Okay, I get it,” he said to the deer. Kevin didn’t need to be nudged a third time and stepped into the space between his new world and the next and melted into the bliss. He could stay there forever. The cry of the wolf was louder again, as if right behind him. A sense of urgency sparked every cell in his body and he stepped out. To his credit, Tim was right there by his side. “Stay close,” Kevin said.
The drone of annoying insects filled the air. Kevin crouched beside the body and said, “Hello, can you hear me?” The body curled up in a ball, a hooded jacket pulled down over the head, concealing the person’s face. The deer came over and nudged at the ball, inciting a moan. The head slowly, as if too heavy, tilted back and the hood fell away. It was a girl. She opened her eyes and saw the boys.
“Hey, you okay?” Kevin asked.
Confused, she tried to scramble to her bare feet, slipping in the mud.
“It’s okay,” Kevin said. “We’re not going to hurt you.”
She sat with her back against the log, holding her knees tight against her chest. She looked scared and confused.
“Who are you?” she said. Her hands went straight up to her head as if trying to stop it from exploding. “Oh, my head kills. I think I have a cranial fracture.”
“What? You’re bleeding,” Tim said.
Her long, raven-black hair covered her face as she tried to push herself up. She was weak and dizzy. She sat on her heels and rested for a moment. “Where are we?”
“I don’t know,” Kevin said. She’s beautiful, he thought and felt a little uncomfortable, and shifted his feet amongst the fallen leaves. “Who are you?”
“Jade. Who are you and what do you mean, you don’t know?” she said, trying to stand up again.
“Hi, Jade. Nice name,” Tim said.
“What’s he mumbling for?”
“You can talk directly to me, you know. I’m standing right here. Fair dinkum.”
“You’re a foreigner. You speak funny. Where are you from?” she asked.
Her hair was dirty, caked with blood. Her clothes were filthy and her face, too, but Kevin didn’t see any of that.
“K, the deer has gone.”
Something’s moving in the shadows of the trees, stalking us … Kevin heard the bay of the wolf and sensed it getting closer, and that’s when he saw a black paw, the size of a lion’s, step out from beyond the trees behind the girl, growling. Saliva dripped from its sharp teeth, its lips pulled back in a snarl and it snapped its teeth together.
“Don’t move.”
“We’re dead!” Tim mumbled. “What do we do, should we run?”
In a voice that sounded deep and foreign to Tim, Kevin said, “I don’t know.”
“Why do you always say you don’t know? Of course you do, you always know.”
“But I don’t,” Kevin said.
“K, open the door.”
“What?” Kevin couldn’t take his eyes off the saliva dripping from the wolf’s sharp teeth.
“Oh my God, I have been rescued by a pair of retards,” Jade said. “If we run, it will get the slowest of us.”
“K, open the door!”
The wolf took a step forward.
“Now, K.”
Open the door, Kevin said to himself. I can open the doorway. I don’t create the world, but I can access it. But how, he just didn’t know how. Kevin remembered the electric pulse and how the colors resonated with his touch. He imagined the shimmering mirage was before him and it began to manifest into reality. Doubt crept in, and it disappeared. What shall I do? Nothing? Maybe
it’s just not going to happen this time, maybe we are all going to die, and with that thought, Kevin started to feel sick in his stomach. He closed and opened his eyes quickly, as if he had dirt in them, and felt his mind hush. His face started to tingle; he was breathing rapidly, looking deep into the wolf’s eyes. Sweat trickled down his spine. His stomach was in knots. A vapor, a ripple, a mirage the size of a basketball grew as transparent liquid waves expanded, flowing up and down hypnotically, between them and the menacing wolf.
“K, have you done it? Stop messing around, we have to go now!” Tim said.
“It isn’t big enough for any of us to enter. When it is, we have to step forward, towards the wolf. I’ll tell you when.”
The wolf began its run, leapt over the fallen tree and lunged.
At the last second, the hole expanded. “Now!” Kevin and Tim jumped, pulling Jade with them through the silky membrane. They all flinched as the wolf howled and snapped its jaws. It can’t see us, but it can still taste our scent in the air.
*
Jade felt Kevin reach in and pull her out of the embryonic state to the other side and instantly she was aware of the change of environment. Her mouth and eyes were wide as she scanned the area from left to right. “This is incredible. This is too much.” Jade held her breath and brushed herself off. Everything is so bright and colorful, it’s like a painting. She felt as if she was being cleaned somehow, on the inside. The beauty of the scintillating purple and emerald-green trees made her weep. The pain of the past year came flooding up and was washed away, healed. It reminded her of the gate with the star. She tried to blink the tears away and saw Great Turtle. Her great-grandmother was holding a seashell full of smoldering sage and was fanning the smoke into the air with a white feather. Then she was gone. Jade’s tears of sorrow were replaced with tears of joy; she felt like she was home. Her headache cleared, her pain had gone and the tears stopped. My body feels so alive! “Where are we? No, let me guess,” she said smiling and biting her lip at the same time.