Still reeling over the fact that Jack had just been running with Evan, Maggie looked down at the carrots in front of her, her mind wandering off. Evan was avoiding her but then going running with her son? Now she was only more confused.
She managed a smile at Jack. “Well, it does look like he knows what he’s talking about when it comes to fitness.” She snapped her mouth shut immediately when she realized what she’d just said.
“Why, Mom?” Jack asked, a teasing cadence in his voice. “Because he’s so buff and dreamy?” He chuckled, moving in next to her, fluttering his thick black lashes dramatically.
Maggie deadpanned at her son.
“Um, hello?” TJ waved his pen in the air, and Maggie looked at him to see his face scrunched up in disgust. “This is my baseball coach, remember?”
Jack chuckled. Maggie bit her smile, focusing back on her youngest son’s paper. “Where are you up to?”
“Last paragraph.” TJ looked down at his report and started scribbling down a few thoughts.
Maggie could feel Jack’s eyes on her, and she turned to him, her brows raised questioningly knowing he had more to say. “Yes?”
“He asked me if you’d submitted your college application yet,” Jack said quietly, one of his brows quirked, a smile still lingering. “How does he know about that?”
She stared at him for a long moment feeling caught out, and she hated it. She was the adult. “Because … he was here when the UPS lady delivered the information pack,” she answered matter-of-factly with a breath of relief that she had an answer. “He was hanging up the porch screening.”
Jack nodded slowly, his eyes boring into hers. “And … why does he care so much?”
She shook her head, shrugging. You tell me, Jack, she thought. Why does he care so much when he can’t even look at me?
“Mom, please don’t bang my baseball coach,” TJ suddenly said with a resigned sigh, head buried between the pages of his notebook.
“Teej!?” Maggie shrieked, gaping at him.
Jack dropped his head back, barking out a loud laugh.
TJ glanced up, his eyes wide with innocence as he looked from his mom to his big brother, and back again. “What?”
Maggie reached for the closest thing she could, grabbing the dish towel. She whacked Jack’s arm, glowering at him while trying not to laugh herself. “He gets these words from you!”
Jack laughed again. And before she could give him another dish towel lashing, he turned and ran out of the kitchen, yelling over his shoulder, “I’m having a shower!”
Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes before looking down to see TJ watching her with a stark curiousness in his big blue eyes.
“What does bang mean?” he asked, his brows drawing together.
“Nothing, sweetie.” She shook her head, pressing her lips together in an attempt to stifle her smirk. “Hurry up and finish your report so you can wash up for dinner.” And she quickly turned back to the vegetables chopped and prepped for the stir-fry. Her heart raced a million miles a minute, not only at her sons, but at the fact that, although he may have been avoiding her, it seemed not all was lost when it came to Evan.
***
Maggie sat in bed staring down at the laptop, entering all her details into the online application form on the college website.
After hours of research and planning and going over and over every single possibility, she’d realized going back to finish her degree was doable. She was only required to be on campus one day a week, which she was sure could be arranged with Jane. All other classes were held online, and she could do most of them at night after TJ had gone to bed. The cost of the course was a little more than she’d expected, but with all the money she’d been able to save from Evan’s and Brad’s and everyone else’s help with the house repairs so far, it was affordable enough to manage without jeopardizing her boys’ futures.
“Passport number,” she read aloud.
With a groan, she tossed the covers off and padded out of the bedroom, across to the room she was planning on turning into the office. She hadn’t done much yet, just set up the computer. Unpacked boxes full of documents and paperwork still lined the walls. Maggie had yet to go through them, she’d put it off until she had the mental capacity to deal with the task.
The family passports, birth certificates, social security details and other important information were all kept in the locked top drawer of the desk. Sure, the key was sitting in the lock, and it wasn’t completely secure. Tom had been meaning to get a safe over the years, but it was something he’d not managed to get around to doing.
Unlocking the drawer, Maggie began rifling through the contents, pulling out a few sheets of random notebook paper with scribbles on them, which is when she came across something that attracted her curiosity: an unsealed envelope. Her heart jumped up into the back of her throat when she noticed her name scribbled across the front in Tom’s messy handwriting, and her brows knitted together as she pulled it out.
The envelope trembled unsteadily in her suddenly shaking hand. She’d never seen it before. She hadn’t looked in the drawer in a while; it wasn’t often she needed passports or birth certificates. How long had this envelope been in there? She looked at the drawer and back again at the envelope, her skin prickling as she slumped down into the leather desk chair. Before she could overthink anything, she pulled out what appeared to be a handwritten letter. Her heart hammered in her chest. When had he written this? When had he planned to give it to her? She was so confused, terrified and conflicted. She didn’t know if she even wanted to read it. The lump in her throat was making it difficult to breathe as myriad emotions swirled around her belly. Clutching the letter with both hands to keep the paper steady, she started at the beginning …
Maggie,
I’ve tried for so long to tell you the truth. But my own words keep failing me. Sure, I could say I’ve never found the right time. Or, it never came up. But that would be bullshit. The truth is, I haven’t told you this because I’ve been too scared. And you know me. I’m not scared of anything. But I’m terrified of witnessing the devastating look of heartbreak in your eyes when you discover the truth.
I love you, Maggie. I have always loved you, and always will because you’re the mother of my sons. But now, that’s it. There’s nothing more, nothing deeper. I’ve fallen out of love with you. Somewhere along the way the love I felt for you changed. It’s nothing you did. It’s all me. Maybe my love for you hasn’t changed at all. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’ve changed. I’ve become a different person. And I can’t apologize for that.
For the last year, I’ve been having an affair with another woman, Rebecca, and I’m in love with her. I love her in a way I’ve never been in love before.
It’s more than just sex. I mean, yes, at first, maybe it was. In the beginning, she was giving me what you couldn’t, or wouldn’t. But now, what Rebecca and I have is so much more. At first, I thought—I hoped—it was just a fling, that it would end as abruptly as it began. She was young and beautiful and different, and she wanted me. How could I say no? But then I started to develop these feelings. Confusing feelings I haven’t felt in a long time. And I knew my heart had shifted.
I’ve been avoiding making this choice because I hated the thought of losing my boys, but I can’t keep hurting Rebecca. She wants me to choose, or else she’s going to find someone else. I can’t lose her. She means the world to me.
I’m sorry, Maggie, but I can’t be with you anymore. It’s time to end what will never be, for your sake as well as mine. And I know this is going to hurt you. I know you’re going to hate me, but what’s done is done, and now it’s time to move forward with our lives. I want a divorce, and I’ll be having the papers drawn up over the coming weeks. I want to be with Rebecca. I know this hurts, and I’m sorry. I wish I could’ve been the husband you deserve, and I wish you could be the woman I could love forever, but everything happens for a reason.
I’ll be moving out of
the house, and I think it’s best we sell everything and divide our assets.
The letter ended there. There was no more. No sign off, nothing. Was that it? He was just going to move out and expect her to accept to just divide everything as if their life together had meant nothing?
Suddenly the silence felt heavy around Maggie. Heavy and dark, fueled by her own anger. She couldn’t breathe. She clutched a hand to her chest, feeling for her heartbeat just to make sure she was still there, that the letter was real, that this wasn’t some messed-up nightmare she was trapped within.
After a few moments, Maggie managed a breath which was more like a gasp. She trembled from the emotion that was beginning to crash over her, consume her. As she stared down at the letter, at Tom’s messy scrawl, she felt tears burn the backs of her eyes. He’d ended it so abruptly. No sign off, nothing. She stared at the last few scribbled words wondering if he’d been interrupted while writing it and had quickly tucked it away for safe keeping until he’d grown the balls to give it to her. But perhaps he never got the chance.
All this time, all she’d wanted was an explanation, and now she had it. He’d fallen out of love with her, and fallen in love with someone else, as easy as that. Simple. Like deciding you no longer like a particular sweater before tossing it into a Goodwill box. He was planning on leaving her for his mistress. God, he hadn’t even planned on telling her the truth; he’d written it in a goddamn letter.
Looking up through angry tears, she met her blurry reflection in the mirror in the corner of the room as realization came over her; Tom Morris was a heartless prick.
Chapter 26
Just as she had done after originally stumbling upon Tom’s infidelity, Maggie acted as if everything was fine. After a night of no sleep, she showered, dressed, made the boys breakfast and dropped them at school. All the while, the truth of Tom’s unapologetic and downright narcissistic confession played over and over again in her mind. Now, sitting in her car with silence surrounding her, Maggie gripped the steering wheel as she stared through the windshield at the café.
She glanced at the clock in the dash. She was late. She had to get in there. She had to put on a smiling face and get on with life. But she knew she wouldn’t be able to pretend everything was okay until she’d gotten the closure she so desperately needed. Tom was a cheater. He had been planning on leaving her. If he hadn’t died, she probably would have unexpectedly received divorce papers and that poor excuse for a letter. But she could have fought him, demanded an explanation, or an apology at least.
She startled at the sudden tapping on her car window. She turned to see Jane looking in through the tint, a concerned look on her face. Cursing under her breath, Maggie pressed the button, the window gliding down.
“I saw you sitting out here.” Jane looked closer, her brows knitting together with obvious worry. “Are you okay, sweetie?”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Maggie forced what she could of a smile. She shook her head. “No, I’m not.” She reached up and touched the back of her hand to her forehead. “Actually, I’m not feeling very well. It just came on all of a sudden.”
“You’re white as a ghost!” Jane exclaimed, her blue eyes searching Maggie’s face. “Do you want me to call someone?”
Someone? Maggie almost rolled her eyes. Who would she call? Her fifteen-year-old son? Her ten-year-old son? Besides her boys, she literally had no one. No one to call. And that thought alone brought tears to sting her eyes.
Shaking her head, she pressed her lips together in a smile. “No, I’m sure I just need to go home and rest.”
Jane nodded, an unconvinced look on her face as she continued studying her. “I don’t like that. You shouldn’t be driving in your state.” She looked back at the café, to the three people waiting at the counter inside.
“I only have Joe in there,” Jane said, more to herself than anyone else. Glancing back at Maggie, she paused and then proceeded to pull her cell phone from the pocket in her apron. And without saying a word, she pressed the screen and held the device to her ear. “Hey. Can you come here? I need your help …” She paused, her eyes meeting Maggie’s curious gaze. “It’s Maggie. She’s not well. I need you to drive her home.”
“Who was that?” Maggie asked. But her question was in vain because suddenly, from her periphery, she caught a glimpse of a fast-moving figure. Turning, she made out Evan jogging out from the wharves, crossing the road and continuing up the sidewalk.
“What’s wrong?” he asked out of breath, his eyes flitting from his sister, to the car, to Maggie through the windshield, his brow furrowed.
Jane pulled him off to the side, out of earshot, talking to him in a loud whisper. Evan’s gaze fixed on Maggie and he nodded slowly. Turning back to his sister, he nodded again and stepped around her, moving to the driver’s door.
“Hop out.” He made a motion with his index finger. “I’m driving.”
Maggie rolled her eyes. “I really am okay.”
He leaned down, resting his forearms on the window jamb, his eyes serious. “Look, you seem to underestimate my sister. Either I drive you home, or she’ll call Brad who will phone Sheriff Mason, and have him drive you home in his patrol car.”
Without muttering another word, Maggie handed him the keys. He opened the door for her and stepped out of the way so she could get out. She offered him a tight-lipped smile before walking around the back of the vehicle and hopping into the passenger seat.
“Honey, I’ll check in on you a little later. See how you’re doing.” Jane smiled, waving from the sidewalk.
Maggie waved back, managing a smile she knew didn’t reach her eyes as Evan pulled out of the parking spot and continued on the way out of the village center.
***
Evan’s jaw ticked as he clenched his teeth, gripping the leather steering wheel of Maggie’s luxurious Audi. When he’d received the call from Jane, immediately he knew something was up. His sister never called him through the day. The occasional check-in text, yes. But never a phone call. Only if there was a problem. When she’d told him that Maggie was unwell and she needed him to drive her home, he’d dropped his tools onto the deck of the boat he’d been working on, and he ran, faster than he’d run in a long time.
They drove back to the house in complete silence. Not even the radio was playing to stifle the awkwardness. He glanced casually out the corner of his eye at her a few times. Maggie sat straight up, her hands wringing together in her lap as she stared out the windshield. She said nothing. Apart from her pale face and blank stare, she didn’t look sick. He doubted she was. But there was something else. Something was wrong, and he was determined to find out.
As he navigated the car down the rocky drive, pulling up to a stop beside the house, he turned off the ignition. He remained seated and so did Maggie, the two of them looking out over the lake, watching the water glisten beneath the morning sun. Finally, Evan shifted, turning to face her, finding her staring unseeingly straight ahead.
“So, what’s up?” he asked with a smile, hoping to maintain some semblance of casualness to his question. The last thing he wanted to do was interrogate her. “You okay?”
Slowly, she turned, blinking once, her gaze focusing on him. But still, she remained silent, eyes raking over his face.
Evan’s brows pulled together. “Are you sick?”
With a swallow so hard he could see her throat bob, she finally shook her head, looking down to her hands. “I feel terrible. Your poor sister.”
“Forget about Jane,” he scoffed, shaking his head, and then he reached out a hand, placing it on her arm. “Maggie, what’s wrong? Tell me.”
When her gaze lifted again, he felt his breath catch in the back of his throat at the glimmer of tears in her eyes, shining brightly as they reflected the bright light of day. He felt his chest pull tight and he shifted again in his seat, snaking his hand down her arm, tentatively touching her hand. He didn’t want to move too quickly, act too forward, but he needed her
to know that he was there for her. And he almost sighed with relief when, instead of flinching or pulling away, she actually turned her hand in his, palm to palm, her fingers linking with his in a move he hadn’t been expecting. She was holding his hand. Tight. Like she was afraid to let go.
“Talk to me, Maggie.” He encouraged her with a nod, needing her to tell him what was wrong. Maybe he could help. Maybe he could fix whatever it was. Maybe he couldn’t do either, but he needed to know so he could at least try.
She swallowed again, but this time she spoke. “I found a letter …”
He watched her, waiting, but she didn’t continue. “A letter?”
She sniffled, and that was the only sign that her tears were winning the battle of emotion warring inside of her. With a shaking hand, she wiped at her cheeks quickly and then, removing her hand from his, she reached into her purse and pulled out a crumpled white envelope. She hesitated momentarily, staring down at it, her gaze flitting to Evan. With a tremulous breath, she handed it to him.
Evan took the envelope and made quick work of opening it, pulling out a neatly folded piece of paper. Glancing curiously at Maggie, he found her eyes fixed on the paper in his hands, her teeth raking so hard over her bottom lip it had to be painful. She was nervous. Or scared. And he hated that. He took her hand in his again, holding it tight as he read the scribbled words on the page before him, his stomach in knots after the very first line.
Shit …
***
Holding the coffees he’d made using the fancy espresso machine in Maggie’s kitchen, Evan walked out of the house, stopping mid-step at the sight of the heartbreaking image before him.
Maggie sat hunched in one of the Adirondack chairs on the rickety old dock, her shoulders cowered and small as she stared out at the water. With a fortifying breath, he continued, stopping beside her on the weathered old dock he’d been meaning to come fix over the last few days.
At that thought, he suddenly felt as if he’d deserted her. He was supposed to come back. Yet, he hadn’t been back and his reasons for staying away were piss-poor at best. And he hated it. She needed him. She might not ever have admitted it. She might not have even realized it. And maybe he was a fool for thinking it. But she did. She needed him. And he hadn’t been here when she’d needed him the most.
The Long Way Home Page 20