And now, with a tutor by his side, he was progressing even faster. He was perfect even when it came to dancing or etiquette... worthy of his spot amongst Fortune Lover’s characters. The problem was that he was so good at anything he did that there was nothing left for me to teach him.
I’d always wanted to have a little brother and be the older sister always looking out for him. The few things I was better than him at were tree-climbing, fishing, catching bugs, and other outdoor activities. But even then, he was so talented that I knew if he put his mind to it, he’d surpass me in an instant... That made me kind of sad.
Isn’t there anything that I can do for him as his sister? I really wanted to become a good, reliable sister.
“I see... Closing in physical distance on a daily basis...” I was murmuring to myself while reading the book I had borrowed from the library when Anne interrupted me.
“Young miss, you look captivated by that book. What are you reading?”
“I’m researching how to take care of Keith!”
“Take care of him?”
“I want to be a reliable older sister who Keith can look up to!” I said proudly, but Anne just looked at my book and then back at me, confused.
“I do understand your motivations, but... why these books?”
“Well, there weren’t any books on taking care of little brothers, so I just went with the closest ones I could find.”
“Child-Raising Precepts.”
“To Take Care of a Child, Volume 1.”
“Animal Caretaking Manual.”
After all, I just needed to get the general idea so that I could fill in the details later.
“Young miss... I am afraid those books will not be of much help... Especially the last one...”
“I know, but these were the only ones in the library that were even remotely related!”
I’d been spoiled and pampered as a single child for all my life (at least in this world), so I had no idea how to take care of a younger brother. And in my previous life, my older brothers didn’t really take care of me so much as they let me follow them and do whatever I wanted.
I guess one time, when I was climbing trees with them as a kid and ended up falling down and hurting myself, they picked me up like a dead weight and brought me back home. That counts as taking care of someone, right? If only Keith were a bit lighter...
“I can’t come up with anything good, so for the time being I’m just going to do what it says in these books.”
“Try not to... overdo it,” said Anne with a worried look in her eyes.
Reading through the books I had borrowed from the library, I found out that “physical intimacy” is important when taking care of a child. Let’s try this out.
“Good morning, Keith,” I said while entering his room, hugging him and patting him on the head. The patting part I got from the animal caretaking book.
Did I do it wrong? He’s not reacting at all... he’s not even moving...
Worried, I freed Keith from my hug and looked at him... he was standing completely still, his face red. Oh no! Did I hug him so hard that he couldn’t breathe?!
“I’m sorry, Keith! I couldn’t control my strength, and I... I’m so sorry...”
“Young miss!” shouted Anne, who had just barged into the room while I was still apologizing. “I am very sorry, young master,” she said with a bow before dragging me out.
I tried to tell her about my plan about physical intimacy, but her stare was so intense that I just caved and followed her to my room, where she then explained to me at length why it is improper for a lady to suddenly hug a man.
“But he’s my brother...” I tried to excuse myself, but she said that the same thing applies to family.
“Public intimacy is not well-received in noble society, especially when it surpasses a certain threshold.”
Noble society sure is complicated.
“And please... try to think of the young master’s feelings.”
“Keith’s feelings?”
Keith had a very lonely childhood, which meant that he wouldn’t be used to receiving any acts of intimacy. That explained why he was so surprised! He just didn’t know how he was supposed to react! I just had to get him used to intimacy, little by little. And I should avoid doing it in public! Easy!
“Thank you, Anne! I got it!” I said with a smile which my preoccupied maid did not return.
“Are you sure?”
“As sure as can be!”
Once again, Anne’s face maintained the same concerned expression.
So, to recap, I had to introduce Keith to intimacy little by little, and possibly not in public. It was time to make full use of the knowledge from my previous life!
Why didn’t I think of this before? This is how we built intimacy in my world!
“Keith, I’m coming in to wash your back!” I said while on my way to the bathroom, with a sponge in my hand and headband on my forehead. Just like I used to do with grandpa before I was reincarnated!
Unfortunately, that one time I had used a rough kitchen sponge instead of a soft bathroom one, and grandpa, his whole back bleeding, told me to never wash his back again. What a pesky little kid I was!
Learning from my mistakes, this time I brought a sponge meant for human beings, and I was eager to share some intimacy with my little brother.
“Get ready, Keith!” I told him as he stood there, in the middle of undressing, staring at me.
“Big Sister... what are you... talking about?” he said, confused, as I took his hand.
Ugh, of course! He’s so clueless about intimacy that he doesn’t know that family members wash each other’s backs!
“You see, amongst family, it’s normal to help each other wash one’s back as a form of communication,” I tried to explain.
However...
“So that’s why today I’ll be washing your...”
“That’s not normal at all!” shouted Mother, barging into the room with a terrifying expression.
“Mother? What are you doing here...?”
I was so surprised by how suddenly and angrily she had come in that I couldn’t say anything else before she started hoarsely scolding me.
“I have heard from Anne about what you have been doing. Explain what it is that you are trying to do here!”
Now that she mentioned her, I noticed Anne standing behind Mother with a sullen expression. I didn’t know what she was mad about, but apparently Anne was somehow involved.
“Now that Keith has become my brother, I was just trying to deepen our bonds...” I got the feeling that saying “trying to take care of him” would make Mother even angrier, so I avoided that.
“And what does that have to do with hugging him and bathing with him...?” she said, her expression now more exhausted than it was angry.
“Mother... are you all right?” I asked her, worried about how dejected she suddenly looked.
She raised her eyes in my direction and started talking, or rather muttering to herself. “This is my fault... I was so preoccupied with my husband that I never took the time to properly discipline her... I am the one to blame.”
She then raised her voice and, with determination, said:
“Katarina, I shall teach you how to behave like a proper lady!” before grabbing me by the collar and dragging me to her room.
“Wh-What? What...?” I said, not completely sure of what was happening.
What happened was that Mother kept me locked in her room while giving me a long, long... long lecture on etiquette.
A proper lady shall not hug people left and right.
A proper lady definitely shall not enter the bathroom with a man, even if he’s family.
Those were just two of the many rules of proper lady behavior that Mother kept explaining to me almost until dawn. She went on for so long that I got kind of sleepy, and stopped actually listening mid-way through. The next day, I had slept so little that I couldn’t even find the force to eat seconds
at breakfast.
I went to Keith as soon as I woke up, to apologize to him for my improper (according to Mother) behavior. Not only did he forgive me with a smile, but he was even worried about me, since I had been dragged into the room of our very angry mother. What a kind little brother he is!
After that I had lessons and magic training, but I was so tired that I could feel my eyelids getting heavier... or rather, as Anne later corrected me, going completely shut.
I somehow managed to get through my duties and went to relax outside, playing and fishing with Keith. Once I sat down under my favorite tree in the garden, it didn’t take long to fall completely asleep.
In my dreams, I was visited by a beautiful vision of an all-you-can-eat dessert buffet, and so I woke up in a good mood. I looked to my side and noticed that Keith had fallen asleep as well.
I was surprised, because when I fell asleep while studying or in our warm garden, Keith would lie next to me, but would never actually sleep.
“Maybe he is tired after everything that happened yesterday,” said Anne.
I’m sorry, Keith... I thought while looking at him sleeping peacefully. He really was handsome enough to take part in an otome game. And those eyelashes! They’re probably longer than mine.
However, as I was lost in his face, his expression started turning darker. His eyes were still closed, but he was knitting his brows and groaning as if in pain. He looked so tormented that I shook him awake.
Keith opened his blue eyes, but they were staring beyond me, into space... It made me worried.
“Keith, are you okay?” I asked, and he immediately came back to himself.
“...Big Sister... I’m fine. I just had a bad dream,” he replied with an unconvincing smile.
“A bad dream? You really sounded like you were in pain... I should have woken you up earlier! Sorry, Keith!”
He was fully awake now, but he still looked troubled. I regretted wasting time looking at his face instead of waking him up earlier. I’m so sorry, Keith...
“I’m fine, there’s nothing to worry about,” he said, still smiling at me.
“This won’t do. The next time you look like you’re having a bad dream, I’ll wake you up immediately! Leave it to me!” I replied, wanting to help him in some way.
And then I realized that maybe this was what I could do to take care of Keith.
After seeing Keith moan in his sleep, I got worried that maybe that hadn’t been an isolated incident. I asked Keith’s personal maid to report to me without telling him, and, as I thought, my brother groaned and moaned in his sleep very often.
Never much of a nightmare-haver myself, I hadn’t thought about it... but in all his moving from one family to the next, Keith must have been through a lot, at least enough to cause a couple of bad dreams.
I decided to turn this into an opportunity to help him, as a good, reliable older sister would do. When evening came, I made my way to Keith’s room, who was surprised to see me barge in.
“If you have a bad dream, I’ll be here to wake you up!” I said, taking his hand.
I didn’t let go of it until he fell asleep. He was kind of restless at first, but he eventually dozed off.
Unfortunately I also got sleepy and didn’t manage to check on Keith all night long... but in the morning, when I asked him about it, he said that he didn’t have any nightmares. That’s a relief!
From that day on, I would sometimes hold Keith’s hand or chat with him to cheer him up before sleeping, so that he wouldn’t have any bad dreams.
Anne knew about it, but she didn’t scold me for it. She even said, “I believe that this is helping him.”
I kept on spending my evenings with Keith until he told me that he didn’t have trouble sleeping anymore and that I didn’t need to keep doing it.
When he said “It’s all thanks to you, Big Sister,” I was so happy... I had waited so long for those words.
It’s just too bad that soon after that our roles were reversed, and I became the one who he had to take care of...
★★★★★
After a few weeks since I took on the name of Keith Claes, I had grown accustomed to it and to life with my new family.
Being able to learn from a tutor was fun and interesting, and I also had a magic instructor who taught me how to control my powers. I needed to do this, so that I wouldn’t end up hurting a loved one again. Furthermore, I trained in dance and etiquette as young nobles are expected to.
Katarina, on the other hand, taught me about tree-climbing, fishing, catching bugs, and other pastimes that young nobles are definitely not expected to engage in. Every day felt new and exciting.
One morning Katarina entered my room, as she often did. I assumed that she just wanted to invite me to a walk or to go to the fields with her, as usual. I was wrong.
“Good morning, Keith,” she said with a smile, before... hugging me.
Why is she... what?
And then, still hugging me, she started patting my head. That was my first time experiencing something like that, and, what’s more, it was by the hand of someone who was special to me.
My mind went blank, my face red. I stood still, unsure of how to react, until Big Sister started apologizing for some reason.
“I’m sorry, Keith! I couldn’t control my strength, and I... I’m so sorry...”
“Young miss!” shouted her maid, Anne, suddenly barging into the room.
All the years of serving Katarina seemed to have taught Anne enough that she instantly understood what was going on just by looking at this weird, one-sided hug. She apologized to me and convinced Katarina, who was muttering excuses, to go back to her room.
Later, asking around, I found out that Big Sister had been attempting to build intimacy between family members. Before coming to Claes Manor, I was never really part of a family, which made the whole topic a mystery to me... But I couldn’t shake the feeling that Katarina was somewhat misled in her intentions.
Still, as embarrassing as being hugged and patted on the head was... it made me happy.
The next morning I wasn’t met with any hugs, and it turned out that it was Anne who had talked my sister out of it. While I liked being hugged, I was relieved that I wouldn’t have to worry anymore about blushing to death, and about what I was supposed to do in response.
The day peacefully went on as usual... at least until that evening. I was undressing to take a bath when Katarina appeared with a sponge in her hand and a headband on her forehead.
“Keith, I’m coming in to wash your back!”
This shocked me even harder than yesterday’s hug had, and, before I could muster a reply, she started menacingly rolling up her sleeves. Sensing the danger, I instinctively stopped her and requested an explanation.
Katarina started telling me, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, that bathing together is how families build intimacy. I may not have known much about intimacy or families... but this just sounded wrong.
I kept listening to my sister’s dubious musings on what constitutes normal family relationships, when she was interrupted by Mother, who had loudly come to my rescue.
“That’s not normal at all!” she said to Katarina, whose confident face had now turned white. Judging from Mother’s questioning of her daughter’s intent, I’d say that I was right. It didn’t just sound wrong. It was wrong... and knowing this, I was kind of relieved.
After some more incoherent explanations from Katarina, Mother thankfully removed her from the premises.
“I am sorry for all this trouble. Please enjoy your bath,” said Anne, seeing my still confused expression.
She then left and I could finally bathe, but not without frequent nervous glances towards the door.
As for Katarina, she was lectured by Mother until pretty much dawn. Come morning, she tiredly apologized about the previous day. She had been scolded thoroughly, but I personally wasn’t angry with her. I was just embarrassed, so I told her not to worry about it.
Sleepy from being talked at all night long, she had little appetite, or so she said. But despite not going in for seconds as usual at breakfast, she made up for it with pastries.
She must have been really sleepy... Later, when she fell asleep during our lesson, instead of waking her up (as I always did) I took a look at the dark circles under her eyes and decided to let her rest.
That helped her regain some of her energy, so that afternoon we went fishing together in the stream by the garden, which is one of her favorite ways to pass the time.
After that, she laid down under a tree (“the perfect tree for climbing,” according to her) and dozed off. Tired from fishing and from having spent an almost sleepless night after the shocking events of the previous evening, I found my eyelids getting heavier, and I too fell asleep next to my sister.
And then the nightmare came.
The darkness, the tight spaces, the beatings, the insults... Terrifying memories from my past.
Still hurt and scared, I opened my eyes. I saw Katarina looking over me with a concerned expression.
“Keith, are you okay?” she asked with the sun shining behind her back. Just having her there beside me was enough to ease the fear.
“The next time you look like you’re having a bad dream, I’ll wake you up immediately! Leave it to me!” she proudly announced once I explained the reason for my groaning.
True to her promise, she started visiting me during the evenings, holding my hand and promising to wake me up should I have another nightmare.
Having a girl that I may have feelings for do this for me felt weird, but it worked. Thanks to her, I think, my bad dreams stopped.
She looked a bit disappointed when I told her that she could stop coming to my room because I could now sleep just fine, but, when I thanked her, her face bloomed with a smile.
...Unfortunately, Katarina’s unladylike behavior continued as usual.
Time flies. Before I knew it, seven years had passed since I had taken on the name of Keith Claes.
My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! Volume 5 Page 5