I hope she can end up falling madly in love with him, I want to see her smile—a real smile, not the fake one she’s been wearing since the announcement was made of her impending marriage.
Rosa is my middle sister, Father says she’s next to be married and it has her nervous. Rosa is only seventeen years old, but Father says he’s already found her a suitable husband, and he is anxious to get his life started with her. Momma isn’t excited and has begged Father to wait until Rosa is of legal age. He says it’s out of his hands and has promised her to him. This makes me worried about my future, I’m only thirteen, but it won’t be long until I’m of age where he thinks it’s acceptable for me to be married off also.
I’ve never had a chance to be just a kid. Unfortunately, kids in this house are to be seen but not heard. We’ve grown up around men who are rude and lethal, even at my age I know what they do isn’t nice or even legal.
We’ve started learning about the law in school, which has confirmed my suspicions of my father’s livelihood of not being what it should be. Father is a mean man, when we don’t do what he wants, he has no problems raising his hands to us in anger or locking us in the basement for days if he wishes. I like it when school months are here, I don’t get locked in the basement during the week, only on weekends. It happens more than I’d like for it to, I have a problem controlling my tongue and always speak what is on my mind.
It is unacceptable to Father, women are only good for being a good wife and mother. We are groomed from birth to be the best, so we can basically be ‘sold’ into arranged marriages. We are to make our father proud at all times.
“Lizzie, we need you in your sister’s room, it’s time for you to get ready, child.” My mother calls for me. I can hear in her voice that she is sad for my sister, so I will try to be extra good today. I want this day to be as special as possible for her, so I need to mind my P’s and Q’s. For Genny, for Momma, and so I don’t embarrass Father and pay for it later on. I’m always messing up, but today I make a vow that I will be seen, and not heard. I hate that term Father uses when he scolds us. Who can keep their mouth shut when they see something wrong, or know that they are right? I don’t know that I’ll ever be good at it.
“Coming, Momma.”
“I know this is your birthday, child, but let’s make this important day for your sister about her, and not about you getting a year older,” she scolds me then promises me, “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow and take you shopping…. alright?”
“Yes, Momma.” I answer like the perfect porcelain doll.
“That’s my good girl,” she tells me with a smile on her face, it looks forced which worries me, is she concerned for my sister? Or is she just sad to see her leaving the house and starting her life with Georgio?
“Everything alright, Momma?”
“Everything is perfect Lizzie, let’s go get you ready.”
“Yes, Momma.” My sister’s wedding day was perfect, and she was so beautiful. We had a good day, and an even better time. I saw my sister smile which made the uneasiness I felt falter.
The next year we repeat the process with Rosa, she marries a man who is my Father’s enforcer, he’s a mean man, but seems to be fond of Rosa like Georgio does Genny. He isn’t nice to me like Georgio is though. His name is Roman Saltzer, and he firmly believes as does my father, that I should keep quiet and out of the way. Maybe he’ll change his tune once he has kids of his own. One can always hope anyways.
* * *
Justice
* * *
I hide in my closet when I hear my dad screaming at my mom. It’s the same thing every night, Dad comes home drunk, and finds something wrong that Mom’s done. It could be his dinner being cold, to the laundry not folded right, to the house not being cleaned to his liking. The thing he doesn’t understand is that if he came home on time, dinner would be warm, and that helping with laundry and cleaning the house is my chore to help Mom out. Mom takes the blame for it all trying to save me from his wrath. I can’t wait until I’m big enough to stand up for myself and Mom. She doesn’t deserve the back of his hand or the fist that often flies.
I hate hiding like a coward, but at fourteen years old I’m still not strong enough to stand up to him. Mom insists that when he gets like this that I make myself scarce and hide somewhere. My closet seems to make me feel safe even though I know he can easily get to me here. I never seem to make it on his radar, either that or he’s just too lazy to seek me out himself. If I’m in plain sight I’m not safe from his anger. I’ve gotten a good beating from him on several occasions.
I’d rather it be me than Mom, but she says it’s her job to protect me from him when he’s like this, and I’m to do as I’m told and not disobey her. It’s been hard to sit back and not run to her rescue, but he’s so much stronger than I am. I can’t wait for the day that it all changes and the roles are reversed and he’s the one who’s scared of me.
I hate him so much, and one day I will make him pay for doing the things he does to her, her screams are in my nightmares along with the way she always looks the next day. The only good thing about my dad is he’s a good provider, he holds down a good job even though he’s drunk more than he is sober.
He must be good at his job for others to turn their heads. He never leaves the house drunk to go to work, but he is always hung over and never walks through the front door after a day of work without being drunk.
I hear Mom scream and I know that her safety has been compromised, why can’t we be safe in our own home? I’ve begged her to leave many times, she won’t do it, she loves him. She may be completely devoted to him, but I don’t think he feels the same way about her. He tells her all the time that if she leaves he’ll kill her and run off with me. I believe that’s why she stays and takes the abuse she does, fear for me and the unknown.
I tell her we can make it on our own, I can get a job mowing lawns, take up a paper route and whatever else I can find that is in my age category. I don’t know if she doesn’t believe we could, or if she takes his threats to heart.
I fall asleep in my closet and dream of better days, times where I protect and keep my mom happy. She never worries about what monsters will come for her at night, or fear where money will come from. I’m older and take care of her and she finally smiles all the time instead of only when it’s the two of us…alone.
My dreams this night bring a smile to my face, and I know when I wake the next morning that I must make that dream a reality. If I could only figure out a way to make him leave for good.
* * *
Chapter One
Justice
* * *
Joining the Rage Ryders out of high school was the best decision I’ve ever made. I tried to get Mom to leave Dad, but she was insistent that she was fine where she was. I don’t know if she’s just learned to accept the abuse, or if she truly worships him. It makes me sick to this day to think about, which is exactly why I didn’t ever want an Ol’ lady. What if his genes were more prominent in me than I ever knew? I never want to put someone through that the way he put her through it.
I would enjoy nothing more than to purge him from this earth, but I know I’d be the first suspect since I’ve been so vocal about his abuse to anyone who was willing to listen. I learned the hard way that cops aren’t always on your side, they believe a parent before a troubled kid on any occasion. No matter how many black eyes were shown, or how many broken bones were set, we were pushed aside, and our word was never enough.
When an arranged marriage was brought up in our meeting, and me being the only single officer left, I nearly shit my pants. Literally. Knowing the demons that may lay within me makes me sick to think of what her life could be like with me. I’ve seen how it can tear someone up when they walk on egg shells just to please or not anger the other. “Fuck that shit, that’s not how I want to live my life,” I mutter under my breath. “We don’t even know if we’ll like each other, let alone be able to make a lifelong commitment to ea
ch other.”
I need to talk to Ghost about this shit running through my head, he’s my best friend and the only one I’ve confided in about my past and childhood. If I can only pry him and Bristol apart for a few minutes, I may get my talk I’m in need of. They aren’t at the clubhouse, so I send him a quick text asking if I can stop by. He answers only seconds later letting me know that it is good for me to swing on by. I go to my room, grab my keys and head that way.
As I am riding and enjoying the freedom of the open road, I can’t help but to think that I have three days until I say I do to someone I’ve never met. Yes, I’m counting down the days…I’m calling it the countdown to dooms day. The day some poor woman will tie herself to me forever. I can’t help but feel a little sorry for her. I don’t think her father knew what he was signing his daughter up for when he decided it was acceptable to give her to me, I don’t see how I can ever make this work.
This is a business arrangement, but I don’t want her to feel like she is stuck with me in all ways if that isn’t something she chooses for herself. We’ll have a lot to talk about on our wedding night, that’s for damn sure, I need to know where she sees us, where she wants our relationship to go. Do we move forward with each other, or do we keep it business only?
I don’t want to feel trapped and I don’t want her feeling that way either. Fuck, this is a lot of pressure for one person to carry on their shoulders. I pull up to Ghost and Bristol’s place and park my bike next to his, I barely make it to the door before it’s swung open and Bristol is in my arms. They had a rough road getting to where they are today, but they survived and are stronger now than anyone could hope for, me included. She’s become such a close friend of mine, that making this sacrifice for her seems worth it at times, when I’m not lost in my head that is.
“Woah, what’s all this, how are you doing, sweet girl?”
“I’m good, Justice, Ghost told me what you’re doing for us, and I wish there was another way,” she says with tears in her eyes as she looks up at me.
“No crying, sweet girl, it will all work out.” All the while I’m thinking that I hope it does.
“I’m not crying, there’s something in my eye,” she says trying to make me believe it. About then, Ghost comes out on the front porch to join us.
“Hey man, how’re you doing? Sweet cheeks, what happened, why are you crying?” he asks Bristol. She huffs and puffs for a second before she answers him.
“I’m not crying damnit!” she stomps her foot and heads inside. Ghost and I look at each other and start laughing. Her temper tantrums are so adorable you can’t help but crack up, which eases some of the tension I’ve been carrying around for the past hour or so.
“What brings ya by, brother? Not that you’re not welcomed here anytime you want.”
“I have so much runnin’ through my mind, I just can’t seem to shut it up and was hoping that you’d be willin’ to lend an ear.”
“Always brother, anytime you need me I’m there. Let’s head inside and sit in my office and talk this shit out.”
“Sounds good to me…thank you.”
We head inside and make our way into Ghost’s at-home office. Bristol brings us some beers and we thank her before she leaves us to ourselves.
“Tell me what’s on your mind,” Ghost starts us off.
“I can’t get it out of my head that I’m gonna end up being like my old man. It just won’t go away and it’s there on repeat, the memories, the failure and the shame.”
“You’re not your old man, Justice, and you never failed, and the shame isn’t yours to carry. That burden lays at your dad’s feet, man, not yours.”
“I know that’s the logical way to see this, but it’s what’s been ingrained in me so long in here,” I say pounding my fist to my chest, “and in here,” I say pointing at my temple on my forehead.
“That’s not necessarily true though, is it, Justice?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What I mean is, that if it was ingrained in you, to be abusive towards women, you would’ve already shown your colors with all the Ol’ ladies in the club. With all of their smart mouths and attitudes I’ve never once witnessed you lose your cool with them. You take everything they do and say in stride. You’re respectful to them at all times, otherwise they wouldn’t trust you or care for you the way they do. Think about it, you’ve become one of Bristol’s closest friends and confidant. She tells you things she’s never told anyone else, including me, and out of everyone, she’d spot an abusive asshole before anyone else coming their way.”
“That’s different, they’re not mine!”
“They may not share a bed with you, but they’re yours all the same and you know it.”
We talk it out a few more minutes before I decide I need to think on our conversation. I leave feeling better about the situation than I have in a long time. Needing to feel the wind in my hair and the road beneath my feet I head out for a long ride. It’s nights like this that I feel closest to who I want to be, who I strive to be, just me and the open road.
* * *
Lizzie
* * *
Mom decided to take us girls to Paris for one last women’s shopping week before my pending nuptials happen. Genny and Rosa are accompanying us on our trip. Their husbands were good with them being gone for a week. They’re both pregnant, but not far enough along that their doctors are worried about them traveling.
This is Genny’s second baby, and Rosa’s first. Giovanni is my nephew and he is such a daddy’s boy that we know he’ll be fine with his momma gone for a quick trip. Our goal is to find me a wedding dress fit for a queen, the only problem is that I don’t think we’ll find biker chick wedding attire in the city of love, but I suppose you never know.
I’m mostly looking forward to spending some time with Momma and my sisters, I don’t know how much time we’ll all get once I’m married outside of the family. My sisters are at the house all the time because their husbands are in business with my father, but my new biker husband-to-be isn’t involved, and from what I overheard doesn’t care much for my father and his business, or associates.
I’m happy about that on one hand, but on the other I will miss my family like crazy. We all still get together weekly for dinner, dressed to the nines like normal. I can’t see bringing my biker groom to a dress up dinner with them, he’d stick out like a sore thumb causing my father to possibly have a heart attack.
Oh, but it sure would be fun to see the look on my father’s face throughout dinner. We took the family jet to make it to Paris, so we were able to stretch out and enjoy the long journey. Once we arrived a town car showed up to escort us to the classiest hotel. We’re in a huge suite with four attached bedrooms, each with their own bathrooms. There’s a living quarters, and an office and that’s all the exploring any of us did before we found our own bedrooms and called it an early evening.
Twelve hours later, I’m up and alert and ready to see the sights that are so different from those of home, the great state of Texas, US of A. I’ve always enjoyed travelling and hope those days aren’t behind me just yet. Who knows, maybe he’ll enjoy sightseeing and taking some adventures with me. He may not enjoy the fancier joints, but maybe we can still take in some of the great sights afforded to us.
I don’t know if he has anything in mind for a honeymoon or not, but I wouldn’t mind taking a road trip and getting to know each other for a few weeks. My thoughts are everywhere as we head down to the restaurant in the hotel and have a nice breakfast. Once we step out disappointment hits, its pouring down rain outside. I shouldn’t be surprised, this must be an omen to this up and coming wedding. I groan out loud causing my sisters and mom to laugh at me.
“Not funny guys,” I convey to them.
“It’s Paris, sweetie, not even the rain can ruin this for us, now let’s go on the hunt for a wedding gown,” Mom says to me and we hail down a cab. We visit four boutiques before I find the dress that I feel
will be perfect. It is perfect! It has a V swoop neckline which is trimmed in antique looking beads, it’s short sleeved and falls just below my knees which show off my legs nicely. It’s not traditional length which I find irresistible and will fit the Texas weather nicely. It’s white in color which is fitting seeing as I am a virgin. You have to be in our family with the watchful eyes that follow us around, making sure we keep our purity for our future husbands.
I was never permitted to speak to boys growing up, I went to an all-girls school, so I didn’t even have the opportunity during my hours away from my bodyguards. The only men or boys I’ve ever know belong to Father’s business associate’s kids, but we were never left alone so I’ve never even kissed the opposite sex. When I was fifteen and reading romance novels I used to dream of the day I’d get my first kiss and how someone else’s lips would feel on my own.
My life has been censored in so many ways that I’m thankful that Rosa would sneak me her books after she’d finish reading them, it was our small rebellion from Father. Mother would buy them and give them to Rosa since we weren’t permitted televisions in our rooms, and we were told what we could and couldn’t watch when we went into the family room.
My life has been so sheltered that I’m not sure how I’ll fit into the biker world. I fear I’ll make a fool of myself once I get a taste of freedom.
Draegon Teaser
Chapter One
A Twisted Kind of Love Page 13