And then we will have to make the decision to kill them all or die ourselves.
“Do you think this is a joke?” He pushes his seat back, slamming into Jake’s knees, and vaults his body across the center console. His belly is now resting on his daughter’s lap as his hand extends to my neck in an effort to choke the life out of me.
“I said get out of here, or I will kill you with my bare hands.” His hot, wet breath smells of cigarettes and stale rice, which is almost as painful for me to process as the feeling of his nails digging into my neck.
He is about to regret everything.
“Dad, no!” Ai pushes him, which when coupled with my own forceful jab into the side of his head, briefly knocks him off me. I grab the handle of the car door and force my way out.
The cold air smacks my face, the air much damper than it was from the trunk. The hairs on my body stand up and my muscles tense with the crunch of the rocky dirt beneath my feet. My thoughts are moving through my mind at a lethargic pace, the exhaustion still weighing me down. No amount of adrenaline can compensate for everything I have been through.
Good thing scaring the shit out of this guy won’t be hard.
I duck behind the back of the car so that no one will see me. Behind me, the empty, dilapidated road of the highway is visible. No trucks are moving cargo in and out from the interior of China, and no passengers are taking leisurely trips to the lesser populated provinces.
“Pistol.” I tap the Chimera Cube and deliver the command. The pistol appears in the air above the backpack.
I double-tap the cube.
But even with me moving as fast as I can, it might not be fast enough. The door Jake is seated next to opens. If Chef Chen gets him out, he can speed away before I can stop him.
He can give the Chinese government our location.
He can end our shot at finding refuge.
I zip the backpack up and throw it around my back as I explode upward.
The wide face of Chef Chen that is devoid of any scrubby facial hair and abundant in sweat dripping from his forehead is visible, screaming at Jake. The echo of his bellow carries for miles down the road, causing a chilling energy to encapsulate the thin air.
The second I lock onto his head, the barrel of the pistol aimed right at him, I have to hold myself back from shooting him. My finger even applies a bit of pressure to the trigger, my mind just stopping myself in time before I can kill this man as if he is nothing more than an avatar in a videogame.
He stares at me petrified, Ai, Loi, and even Jake unmoving in the car as I approach them. Jake’s body is halfway out the door, even his strength no match to combating the power of Chef Chen.
But everyone is frozen at the force the pistol represents.
They all know I mean business now.
“Unless you want me to kill you and your two daughters and use this car to get the hell out of this country, you best listen to me.” I hate the enjoyment I get from saying the words, but it gives me a sick sense of satisfaction. There’s something about being an asshole that always seems so wrong when the people around you act like it but feels so right when you give other people what they deserve.
It’s all about the power.
And I have it all.
“Do you not understand English?” I ask him, very well knowing the answer and knowing that it will only cause him more anger. “I make the rules here. None of you do. So listen to me, and get your hands off Jake and continue driving to Gyurtog. You will tell no one here in this car what to do, or I will make sure you will never speak again.”
He responds well to the intimidation, or at least he responds exactly how I want him to. His hand slowly retreats from grabbing Jake’s collar as his body recoils into its position in the front seat of the car.
Jake grins at me before he shuts the car door. If I could, I would give him the biggest man hug in the world, but I have business to take care of, and being all lovey-dovey with Jake doesn’t exactly convey the hardened killer attitude I am trying to exemplify.
So instead, I walk around to my side of the car, the barrel of the pistol directed at the skull of Chen the entire time, and open the door.
Chen turns the key to start the ignition of the car as I slide in, the low hum of the engine nothing more than a whisper in the wake of the chaos.
I shut the door. Jake is still grinning at me, almost on the verge of laughter, while Chef Chen stares ahead at the road motionlessly. Tears quietly stream down Ai’s face while Loi’s body remains tense in the front seat, refusing to see or be seen by me.
I keep my pistol in my lap, my fingers stroking the cold metal.
We continue down the long, dark road ahead.
There is nothing but silence.
Chapter 22
I don’t feel safe here.
Maybe it’s the Buddhist relics lining the walls, or it could be the large statue of Buddha himself welcoming us into the monastery, his large face and belly akin to Chef Chen’s.
It could be the wary energy of the monks, all of whom are too nervous to use translating devices to speak to us, and only one of whom speaks English. Or it could be the oddly peaceful energy that seems to trickle off the various sculptures with flowing water and radiates from the golden lanterns nailed into the stone beams.
“This place feels like we entered another dimension,” Jake says underneath his breath as we approach the number of monks standing in front of us wearing orange robes.
Each one of them are men, all of them bald and slender. They all look to be in their mid-forties yet have the smooth skin characteristic of someone in their early twenties.
The one standing in the middle is who I assume to be Chef Chen’s brother. It’s at least what the monk, who occasionally gives groups of English-speaking tourists guided tours throughout the large temple and monastery, said to us as we walked in.
Then again, Chef Chen could be lying about this all.
He may not even have a brother—after all, he was born during the time when China’s One-Child Policy was in place, and he didn’t speak for the rest of the near day-long car ride after our incident on the side of the road.
He dropped us off in front of the monastery, the darkness of the night rising above the evergreens and a piercing cold digging into my skin. He had a painful look on his face that words can’t describe.
He wanted Ai back.
But she was resolute on coming inside with us, on being with us in our journey to kill the Chinese president, although she has no idea of the truth of how we got to where we are today. She only waved goodbye to her sister as tears streamed down her face.
Her last words to them will be etched into my brain forever. “I’m tired of living like I’m dead. So I’m going to start living now so that none of us end up that way.”
There’s something about Ai, something about her mind, whether it be the fact that it thinks too fast for her to even keep with, or it’s just crazy enough to do things others wouldn’t dream of, that will make her a valuable asset to our team.
I can’t kill Li alone.
Even with the Chimera Cube, it helps to have others on my side, and that’s exactly why I kept that pistol pointed at Chef Chen, not allowing him to move to try and keep his daughter inside.
I understand there’s a lot morally wrong with that situation—a man with a gun forcing one’s daughter away from them—but after I threw the diamond in the car, it serving as my final goodbye and thank you, I didn’t feel so bad.
Life is a mixed bag, to say the least.
And the people we come across, at least from my experience, never cease to surprise me. But without that man with anger issues, and who clearly has some violent stuff he’s repressing from his past helping us, Jake and I would both be dead or close to it.
Without Ai recognizing me and being passionate about our cause, being an active member of the rén, the family could have very well turned us into the military right then and there. For the first time in weeks, t
he world intervened in my life in a way that was positive after causing me endless amounts of pain and trauma.
And I don’t know why it happened, but it gives me hope that it will happen again—that maybe the good in this world will outweigh the darkness.
But then when I look at myself, and realize my thoughts, I know that none of that exists anyway. The only thing that exists in this world is power. The perception of it is bullshit.
I gulp. It’s a nervous gulp that I as well as everyone around me can hear. It feels uncomfortable as the ball of spit and phlegm makes its way down my throat. The man in the center, with a wide face and similar body structure as Chef Chen, locks eyes with me. Then he bows, the light from the lanterns reflecting off the shiny top of his bald head.
“I feel your energy,” he says in a deep voice, and I almost jump backwards with surprise. I guess he speaks English. “You must leave your ego at the door when you enter into Gyurtog.”
I run my hand over the smooth strap of the backpack running down my chest. I open my mouth to respond but have no idea what to say. The man continues staring at me, but it feels more like his eyes are peering through me.
“You have to let go.” His voice echoes off the high ceilings in the entrance to the monastery. The ceilings themselves are made of beautiful slabs of granite with crystals speckled on their surface. “You have to release whatever is making you feel like you need more.”
Jake looks at me like a middle schooler trying to start trouble in front of the teacher. He is on the verge of cracking up, his gaze landing on one of the monks who is about to fall asleep, his eyes shooting open before they slowly close once again.
“I will,” I respond. Unlike Jake, I am remaining laser-focused on the man in front of me. Ai is standing next to me, her own body tense as she stares at the man, trying to decipher the true meaning behind what he is saying.
“Speak with the right intention.” His tone grows a bit more sinister. “When you are here, words have power. Your thoughts have power. The truth will always come to light.”
At those words he bows again, and he and the team of monks descend back into the shadows being cast by the stone pillars onto the floor of the main room of prayer and meditation.
“I’ve never met my dad’s brother,” Ai whispers to me. The hyperactive energy she had when we first walked in the door has dissipated.
The only thing that has comforted me so far is that Chef Chen’s promise of there being no security cameras inside the monastery has proved to be true. The Chinese government still doesn’t exercise the kind of control over the region of Tibet as it does with its more populated provinces, and they don’t even waste their time monitoring these monasteries because they know that peaceful monks live here to meditate and spread the teachings of Buddha.
But they know that we are on the run.
They know that we must be in one of the monasteries or someplace undercover in China.
We aren’t safe.
We won’t ever be.
And as I stare down the long candlelit hallway leading to the center of the pagoda and housing for the monks beyond, I don’t see any refuge.
All I see is darkness.
“How do you even know it’s your dad’s brother?” I respond. Jake leans in to listen to our conversation. The English-speaking guide disappeared during our short interaction with Chef Chen’s brother and now we are all alone staring at a large statue of Buddha in front of us, his great big smile and open arms all feeling like some sort of façade.
Suddenly I feel very wrong about the plan that Jake and I devised to escape the constant attacks from the Chinese military. They didn’t welcome us into their home. They saw right through us and left.
“I know my dad, I know what he looks like, and this guy, he is too close to not share some genetics with him.” Ai is careful to not let her voice bounce off the walls that have great acoustics for musical performances but terrible for ones trying to keep secrets. “For years we have heard about his brother who meditates in the mountains of Tibet each day and gave up everything their middle-class family had in the city for this. And I know that that was his nice way of saying to us that he won’t make our time here easy.”
“That doesn’t matter. We can’t spend a long time here.” Jake eyes the end of the hallway where the silhouettes of the monks turn into another room. “I don’t care how much of that diamond your dad promised his brother. Something tells me he won’t care enough about the money to make sure we stay safe.”
“That’s not true,” Ai whispers into the translator, turning down the volume even lower on the device. “I’ve learned Buddhist teachings my entire life. They don’t care about money as it relates to their own happiness, but they would gladly take money to make a positive impact on causes they support. Money has power over everyone.”
“We will stay here as long as we need to.” I eye the guide walking up to us, emerging from one of the side hallways off the main entrance area.
“I won’t need long,” Ai says.
“What do you mean, you won’t need long?” Jake says it in a patronizing manner, as if she has no power to make the decision in the first place. Which if we get real about it, he doesn’t either, because I am the one with the Chimera Cube.
“Do you think I’m just some hopeless rebel? I have a plan.” She turns her translator off, the lowest setting on it still too loud. The guide decked out in the same orange robes as the other monk is only a few seconds from being within earshot. She speaks in English now instead of speaking into the translator. “For months I have been planning to bomb the capitol building. There’s a group of us in the rén who have been seeking to do this. Now is finally the time to put it into action. We will burn the Party to the ground.”
I smile. If I could have programmed a robot to say exactly what my heart desired, it still wouldn’t have said it as good as Ai.
“And we will rise from the ashes.” As the words come out of my mouth, I can’t help but grin.
On the surface, I tell myself that this is great. That I am doing a noble thing, that by killing people and causing destruction upon hundreds and even thousands, I am helping people.
But deep down inside I know I am becoming the man I always feared I’d become.
The fantasy world of Zion isn’t what feels appealing to me anymore.
I want the world to be mine.
Chapter 23
I wake up every day wondering if it’s my last.
The paranoia has taken over my being. I shower once every week. I haven’t shaved or gotten a haircut in months, hoping that my long, disgusting beard and dirty blond mop-like hair that hangs down to my shoulders hides my identity from the security cameras that I am constantly on the prowl for but never seem to find.
I live in a state of constant anxiety, which is ironic given the fact that I meditate for ninety minutes each morning and spend my afternoons deep in the forest, detached from the world and letting nature absorb me.
This routine has gone on for months.
I arise from bed, my heart pounding at one hundred and forty beats per minute as I glance out the window, not knowing whether the U.S. government, Syndicate, or Chinese military is outside to surprise me, but always sure one or a combination of the three is here to deliver a bullet that will end me.
I immediately travel to the main room of meditation at the center of the pagoda. It is a room with little decoration, the curved multilayer ceiling that looks magical from the outside losing its flare once seen from the inside. In the winter, the branches of pine decorate the floors, while in the spring bright flowers of primrose, rhododendron, and gentian line the walls and exterior of the building.
The monks at Gyurtog like to incorporate nature into each one of the rooms, sometimes nursing mature trees, or allowing fern and moss to invade the cracks in the floor and latch on to every inch of the interior and exterior of the building.
After my ninety minutes of mediation, where I ty to shut my m
ind off and tune it out to every worldly problem and anxiety, I eat breakfast and chat with Jake and Ai.
These chats vary in length. Some days we joke around more than others, some days we cry more than others, but the core of it remains the same. All of us are hell-bent on getting out of here and destroying the Chinese government, but none of us know how.
Within the first day of us staying at Gyurtog, the Chinese military moved into Tibet, turning the entire province into a military state. They have been installing security cameras at every corner and having unmanned drones scan the skies constantly for any fugitives.
They are looking for us.
And they know we are here.
And all we can do is sit inside, trying to access information on secure, encrypted networks that we can access through our hologlasses that I had the Chimera Cube make Jake and Ai. We are trying to figure out if it’s even possible to travel from the middle of rural Tibet to Beijing without getting caught.
It’s not the journey there that will be the toughest part, though. The monks at Gyurtog have caught onto what is going on in the outside world. The Chinese government is slowly destroying Buddhist temples and killing monks at monasteries. They are trying to wipe Buddhism off the face of the Earth in Li’s multi-pronged campaign to get revenge for his people.
They know if they ever find out we were here, they will kill everyone in this monastery and burn it to the ground.
That’s why they won’t let us leave.
And the second I decide to kill one of them to sneak out, the Chinese government will know exactly where we are.
After months, we have not found an answer to our problem, and part of the reason is because I don’t want to. Oddly enough, I am happy here. I am able to spend my time here without having to be caught up in the geopolitical issues of the world. I can stay under the radar, enjoying the peace and quiet of the Tibetan mountains.
I’ve been able to rekindle my relationship with Jake and become closer than I ever have been with him before. And I’ve connected with Ai, quickly finding out that she is one of the smartest and most driven people I have ever met.
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