by Lily Harlem
Evan frowned. Had she rolled it up? She had beautiful, shapely legs, but his daughter was way too young at fifteen to be showing them off like that. He didn’t want her to get a reputation or for boys to think she was easy.
He was about to bang on the window, but Banna shut the car door, and Raul pulled away.
Olivia waved as the car headed for the long, dusty driveway.
Raul didn’t have to do the school run. He contributed so much to the household by cooking, but he often did the trip. He liked to source ingredients once he’d dropped their children at school.
As Olivia came into the house, Evan went down the stairs.
“You did well to find the shield.”
“I should have searched for it yesterday.” The belt dug into his thigh, seeming to spread a painful heat over his muscles.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Yes, why?” He came to a halt in front of her. Aware that his shoulders had bunched up and his jaw was clenched, he tried to relax.
“Don’t often see you with a knife at your waist these days.”
“Oh, this.” He plucked the item up and smoothed his finger over the blade. “I found it in the attic.”
“And it’s yours?”
“Yes, used to come everywhere with me. It’s nice and light, but not so light that when it hits a target it falls away. It doesn’t, it kills.”
She shuddered slightly.
“If I hadn’t practiced with this all those years ago,” he said, “you wouldn’t have been so lucky with the snake on the island.”
“That’s what I was thinking of.” She twisted her mouth. “I hate snakes.”
“I know you do.” He brushed his lips with hers. “But I’ll always protect you from them, babe.”
Chapter Six
Olivia ran her hands around Evan’s waist and pulled him close. “Oh, you’re still sporting a morning glory, big boy.” She wriggled against the rolled-up belt.
It was like a lead weight had dropped in his belly. The last thing he wanted was for his sweet wife to come into contact with such a hateful item.
He stepped away.
She dropped her hands to her sides. “What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing.” He set his hand over his brow, closed his eyes, and rubbed his temples.
“Evan?”
He hated the confusion in her voice. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt or upset Olivia. “It’s just…” Damn it, he didn’t want to give her any details. Had always tried to protect her from them. She knew enough; she knew all that she needed to.
“What?” She paused. “You’re worrying me.”
“Up there.” He pointed at the staircase. “In the attic, I found something.”
“Something?”
“Something that has a lot of bad memories associated with it.” He found himself tracing the tiny dots on his waist. “And I want to get rid of it.”
She nodded, her lips a tight line. “I understand.”
Good, she wasn’t going to push him. That meant he could take the belt outside and bury the damn thing—bury it and all the pain it had inflicted.
“So I’ll just…” He slipped the knife back onto his waistband. “Head out.”
Her gaze flicked to his shorts.
He knew she’d be wondering what was in there, what had pressed against her. But he didn’t have the strength to tell her and to see her eyes mist as a barrage of horrible images—that were all likely very accurate—went through her mind.
“I’ll be back soon,” he said.
“Sure.”
He stepped past her. “Oh, and one other thing.”
“Yes?”
“Had Banna rolled her skirt up this morning? There was a lot of leg on show for school.”
Olivia groaned. “Had she? Again? I told her not to yesterday.”
“But why would she even want to?”
“Why do you think?”
He shrugged.
“There’s a boy she likes,” Olivia said.
“A boy?” Evan raised his eyebrows. This was news to him. Banna had never expressed any interest in having a boyfriend, and that suited him and her other fathers very well.
“His name is Greg,” Olivia went on.
“Greg what?”
She nibbled on her bottom lip. “Mmm, it’s double-barreled. Anders-Bennet, I think.”
“Ah, I know his mother, we went to school together, same class. She married Trevor Bennet a year older than us, when they were really young. She was pregnant, and they doubled up their name.”
“You know her well then.”
“Everyone knows everyone around here, remember.”
“And did you get on with her? In class?”
“We never dated if that’s what you’re asking. She only had eyes for Trevor.”
Olivia’s cheeks flushed a little, and she shifted from one foot to the other. “No, that wasn’t what I was asking.’
He smiled. “Yes, she’s a nice girl, from a nice family. And from what I know, Trevor has always provided well and settled into being a family man. They had another two children quickly after Greg.” He frowned. “But Greg might have it in his head that it’s okay to have sex young and get school girls pregnant, so we need to—”
“Banna has had the talk, Evan, don’t worry.” Olivia folded her arms. “She has her head screwed on.”
“Yes, but Greg, he needs the talk, too.”
“And I’m sure one of you will do that if the poor young man is ever brave enough to show up here.” She nodded at the study door. “I have some paperwork to do, and I need to book a hotel in Perth for when Mason and I take Darius for his competition next week.”
“Yes, okay.” He put his hand into his pocket and gripped the belt. “I’ll be out the back.”
“If you need me.” Her face softened. “I’m here for you.”
“I know. Thank you.”
He swallowed, his throat tight with emotion, and headed through the kitchen. Harry had tidied away the breakfast mess, and the dishwasher was whirring. But there was no sign of him. Likely he’d gone out into the barn or to check on the horses in the paddock.
After grabbing a glass of water and eating a banana, Evan ventured out into the heat of the day.
The horizon shimmered, as did the pool to the right of the house. A huge affair with several slides and diving boards and a waterfall. Harry’s parents had arranged it as a surprise for the twin’s first birthday. It was a well-used present, by everyone.
Pausing, he thought back to the twin’s birth. It seemed only a blink since Isabel and Cameron had arrived into the world, yet in reality they’d enjoyed five Christmases with them now. Like the other children, they were full of energy, and little sponges when it came to learning. They had a love of animals and the outdoors, which pleased Evan a lot.
Since they’d started school, they were also becoming more open to having other friends. For so long, they’d stuck close to their adopted siblings, not needing anyone else, but now they were showing interest in having a wider friendship base. He knew Olivia was keen to encourage that. It would be easy for them to have an isolated childhood out here, the way he had.
He turned from the sparkling pool, the belt weighing heavy in his pocket.
After retrieving a spade from the barn—still no sign of Harry—he walked over the baked earth toward the shade of an old eucalyptus tree. Beneath it was a bench carved from a fallen log. He’d made it himself years ago.
After sitting on it, he sighed and placed the belt at his side.
How to ruin a day.
He stared at it, the metal protrusions poking from the worn leather. They were sharp and mean. Use hadn’t ground them down. Age hadn’t lessened their power to inflict pain.
He folded his arms, crossed one ankle over the other, and moved his attention to a patch of earth near an acacia bush. He’d bury the damn thing there, and with it all the flashbacks it had induced.
‘You
good for nothing son. I swear I’ll kill you one of these days, put you six feet under out there on the station. No one will ever find your body. It’s easy to get away with murder around here.’
Gripping his upper arms, Evan wished his father’s voice wasn’t so fresh in his head. Usually it wasn’t, and he’d gotten used to that, appreciated it. But this belt had given it volume again.
‘You’re getting thirty lashes of the belt for letting the tractor run out of fuel, you pathetic, idiot boy. And cry out all you want, I’ve ordered your mother to stay away while I punish you.’
He swallowed. A bitter taste had flooded his tongue. His muscles twitched, a shot of adrenaline giving him the need to fight or run. But neither were any good. His father wasn’t there to fight, and he couldn’t run from the demons of his memories.
“Fuck it!” He pressed the heels of his hands over his closed eyes, hard, and gritted his teeth. A tremble went up his spine, and he forced himself to stay sitting, to not pace and stomp.
I can’t let him get to me this way.
“Evan.” A firm hand rested on his shoulder.
He kept his hands over his eyes and blew out a breath. Harry’s voice instantly soothed him. It was a salve to his tattered nerves.
“I’m here.” Harry sat close, his leg coming into contact with Evan’s and his body heat slipping around him. “If you want to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
But I have to.
Harry was quiet as he gently ran his hand over Evan’s hair, shifting it with his fingers.
Evan dropped his hands to his thighs and opened his eyes.
“I’m guessing you found something in the attic,” Harry said. “That raised some issues.”
“Always the same fucking issue, Harry.”
“I know.” He leaned close and kissed the side of Evan’s head. “I know, buddy.”
“And I can’t tell Olivia, it’s not fair, she’s…”
“She’s not delicate, she’s tougher than you think.”
“But you understand why I don’t want to.”
“Of course, and that’s between you and her.”
Evan twisted to look at Harry. He knew pain sliced through his eyes, and his expression was dark, but he didn’t have to hide that, not with Harry. Harry knew everything, every hidden, tortured corner of his psyche.
Harry smiled, just a little, and his eyes gleamed with concern. “Is it something to do with this?”
He held the belt between them.
Evan tensed. Seeing it coiled, like a venomous snake, in Harry’s hand was sickening.
“Yes.”
“You found it in the attic, right?”
“Did Olivia tell you that?”
“She found me because she was concerned about you.” He paused but continued to stroke Evan’s hair. “And thought you might want to talk.”
Evan liked his touch. It was soothing.
“She loves you,” Harry went on, “the way I do. If something is bothering you, if something is hard to face, we’re here.”
“It’s just difficult for me to do that. For years I was self-sufficient. I needed no one. I could survive out there.” He gestured to the vast, hot landscape. “For weeks on my own, months if I had to. Being able to rely on people is still new for me.”
“Even after all of this time?”
Evan shrugged. “Habits established at childhood are hard to break.”
“But don’t let him continue to break you.”
Evan had a sudden rush of anger. That was exactly what his father was still doing. He was sure he’d be laughing from the grave right now.
“Shh, it’s okay.” Harry wrapped his arm around his shoulders, tugged him close, and kissed the side of his head again. “I’ve got you.”
Evan didn’t want to cry. He really didn’t. His waste-of-space father wasn’t worth it.
He stood, reaching for the belt. He held it up and let it unwind. The end hovered over the earth, above a small blue flower.
“This was his weapon of choice,” Evan said. “He got it at some ranchers’ market way back when.”
Harry said nothing.
“I knew as soon as he came home with it around his waist, showed me it with a glint in his eye that it was trouble.”
Harry nodded.
“And it didn’t take long for him to whip it off and whip me.”
“Fuck.” Harry’s jaw tensed. “With those studs on it.”
Evan tapped his fingers over them. Bastard little things. “I think the first time was for looking at him wrong, the second a lamb had died, the third the tractor had ran out of fuel.” Evan shrugged. “I forget the rest.”
“I’d kill him if he was here.” Harry stood. He wore only shorts, and the dappled light fracturing through the eucalyptus spread over his broad chest.
“So would I,” Evan said. “Sometimes I’m surprised I didn’t.”
“You’re not a murderer.”
“No.” Evan rubbed the small scars on his side. “I couldn’t look my children in the eye if I’d taken a human life.”
“No, me neither.” He caught Evan’s wrist. “What are these marks? I’ve seen them before.”
“Now you’ve seen the belt, what do you think they are?”
Harry swallowed, his eyes closed in a long blink, then he stroked over the marks. “They show you survived.”
Evan said nothing.
“That’s what scars are for,” Harry went on. “They show you were strong, you survived his terrible abuse.”
A tremble attacked Evan’s stomach. A glut of emotion was brewing there.
“Not that you should have had to,” Harry said, slipping his hand up Evan’s torso then cupping his cheek. “No kid should go through what you did.”
Evan’s throat was tight, his breaths shallow. He closed his eyes, praying that moisture wouldn’t build on his lower lids.
“Oh, buddy, come here.”
Suddenly he was in Harry’s arms, their chests pressed together and his face against Harry’s neck. He breathed deep, taking in the soft masculine scent of Harry’s skin as Harry tightened the embrace.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered into Evan’s ear. “I’ll always have your back. Forever. No one will ever hurt you again.”
Evan nodded and clung to Harry, his hands in tight fists and leaning heavily onto him. It was as if Harry’s strength was seeping into him, through his pores, into his lungs. With Harry, he could expose his vulnerability, and in doing so he felt stronger, not weaker.
“We’ll get rid of this together, all of it,” Harry said. “Me and you. You’re not alone with this.”
“Thank you.” Evan moved closer, thankful that Harry was prepared to share his load, always had been.
“But don’t feel less of a man for it getting to you.”
Evan sighed. That was how it made him feel, when his past got the better of his emotions. Why couldn’t he just lock it all away?
“Evan.” Harry cupped his cheeks and forced Evan to look up at him. “The only way to truly get past this is to let it come to the surface.”
“I know, but…but I had put that belt from my mind, then bang, it’s there, in our house, in the house we’re raising our family in. It makes me sick.”
“And soon it will be gone.” Harry tossed it to one side. “It’s a belt, a belt once owned by an evil man. We can overcome both of those facts.”
“Yes.” He nodded. “Thank you, Harry.”
“Thanks are not required. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Harry pulled him close, closer still, and their lips touched. Kissing anywhere except where they had absolute privacy was not their style. Their true relationship, including their physical one, was for Olivia’s eyes only.
Evan moaned at the illicit but wonderful sensation of Harry’s mouth moving in time with his and the stubble on his chin abrading his flesh.
Harry was holding him with such intensity an
d possession, showing him the true depths of his feelings.
Their tongues tangled. Harry moaned softly, and Evan let the rest of the world fall away. Having Harry in his life, in his bed and in his heart, made him complete, he knew that.
Not that he considered himself gay. There was only Harry, and would only ever be Harry sharing his commitment and love with Olivia.
“There’s no one around,” Harry whispered, the tip of his nose touching Evan’s. “So feel what you need to feel.”
“I need to feel you.” Evan caught another kiss, hooking his arms around Harry and squeezing tight.
Their groins were in alignment, but when Evan felt a tingle of arousal, he broke the kiss. “I want to get rid of this thing.” He nodded at the belt.
“Then let’s dig.” Harry swiped his tongue over his bottom lip and bent a little stiffly to reach the spade. “Where shall we put it?”
“Over near that bush but…”
“What?”
“I don’t want to know exactly where, does that make sense?”
“Of course it does.” Harry picked the belt up, holding it like a snake again. “Why don’t you go indoors, make a coffee, kiss your wife, and I’ll dispose of it. You’ll never have to see it again.”
“You’d do that?”
Harry chuckled and swung the spade over his shoulder. “It’s hardly a big task. Now go, I’ll find you later.”
Evan nodded. “Cheers.”
Harry sauntered out of the shade, the sun spilling onto his wide, tanned shoulders, and his shorts hugging his sexy ass. His sneakers puffed up small clouds of dust with each step.
Evan may have been unlucky when it came to parents, but when it came to love, there couldn’t be any luckier man alive.
Chapter Seven
The day sweltered on, and as the sun hit its highest point, everything, man and beast, quieted in the shade. Well, all except for Raul who was working on some new tapas dishes and playing Spanish music in the kitchen.
Evan rested on a lounger in the shade with his hat covering his face. He’d learned long ago not to expect anything from his body in the summer and during the hottest hours.