“I want to make you proud, Dad. I just don’t know how we’re going to do this.”
Charlotte
“You’re running too fast,” Mallory called from several feet behind me.
“If I ran any slower, I’d be walking.”
“I don’t like sarcastic Charlotte. I really thought I would, but I have to say … not a fan.” Mallory rested her hands on her knees, hunched over on the sidewalk.
I giggled, jogging in place. “Come on. We’re almost there! You’ve got this.”
“Remind me why we’re doing this again?”
“You said, ‘Let’s start being healthy.’ I said, ‘What should we do?’ Then, you said, ‘Let’s start exercising,’ and I said—”
“Okay, okay. I get it. It was all my dumb idea.” She stood upright with a determined expression on her face. “Let’s go.”
I used to run every day in high school. I’d wake up extra early and run for miles. It felt exhilarating to get back to doing what I loved—especially here in the freezing February temperatures. Running always helped clear my mind. Lately, it needed a lot of clearing.
Thirty minutes later, Mallory was sprawled out on my living room carpet.
I handed her a water bottle. “I’m proud of you.”
“Just tell me this gets easier,” she huffed.
“It does. Everything’s always hard in the beginning.” I sat on the floor next to her.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come out tonight?” she asked, a slight whine in her voice.
“I just haven’t been in the mood.”
Mallory grunted as she sat up. “Look. You need to hear this, and I wouldn’t be your best friend if I didn’t say it. So, open your ears. You are letting a boy control your happiness. You’re great when you’re together, but you’re all sad and moody when you’re not. Whatever happened between the two of you, just let it go. If it’s meant to be, it will work out in the end, regardless. Enjoy the time you have now, in other ways.”
“How did you get to be so smart?”
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing any more than you, or anyone else. No one has it all figured out. Knowing that will set you free.”
I smiled. “I like that.”
“So, whaddya say? Let’s go out tonight.”
“I’ll go, under one condition.”
Her eyes widened. “Anything.”
“I don’t want to go to Big Nose Kate’s.”
“Done! I’ve got an idea that will blow this tiny island out of the water.”
I hugged her tightly before she turned to go. “Thanks for being my friend.”
“Thanks for being mine.”
“I’ll walk you downstairs. I think I’m going to keep running for another couple of miles.”
“There is something very wrong with you.”
* * *
“I should’ve taken you to Manhattan a long time ago. I don’t know what I was thinking!”
I craned my neck to see the giant billboards and LED lights surrounding us. “Wow,” was all I could say. Seeing the city on TV was nothing like walking amongst the crowded streets. Again, the smell left a little to be desired, but I didn’t care. I was in New York City.
Mallory chuckled. “Looking at your face, all I hear playing in my head right now is Journey.”
“I certainly am a small-town girl. This place is incredible.”
Mallory linked arms with me. “I’m so glad I brought you here. The bar is right down the block.”
Session 73 was a small bar on the Upper East Side. Patrons in suits and ties lined the bar. The place even had a coat check. It was a surprisingly stuffy atmosphere, especially when compared to Mallory’s youthful, bubbly personality.
“You’ve been here before?”
“Yep. My friend Jason’s band plays here on occasion. They’re playing tonight.” Mallory motioned to the stage against the window. Four guys were setting up their equipment. “That’s Jason. He plays bass.”
“You’re into beards, huh?”
Mallory grinned. “Beard is the new black.”
We found a space at the bar and waited for our drinks.
“Well, if it isn’t Charlotte Thompson.”
My spine stiffened and my pulse accelerated. Who had recognized me here, of all places? I slowly turned around, gripping my purse, preparing to make a run for it. I let out a relieved exhale when I laid eyes on the familiar face.
“Kyle! Hi. What are you doing here?”
“I live here. What are you doing here?”
“I live here, too. Well, not here here. I live … I live …” Do I tell him where?
“Nearby,” Mallory said. “I’m Mal. You are?”
“Kyle Tomlin. I’m Charlotte’s high school sweetheart.” He offered me a sly smile.
“Ex,” I corrected. “Ex-high school sweetheart.”
Mallory’s eyes widened.
Oh, no. Is she going to say what I think she’s going to say?
“You’re the douchebag who cheated on her! On prom night!”
Yep. She is.
“You told her about me?” Kyle’s smile deepened.
Mallory turned to me, gesturing to Kyle with her thumb, as if he wasn’t standing right there. “This guy, Char? Seriously? You definitely upgraded with Tanner.”
“Tanner?” Kyle shoved his hands in the pockets of his dark slacks.
“Her boyfriend.” Mallory crossed her arms while she surveyed him from head to toe.
I love her. I cleared my throat. “So, you live in New York?”
“I do. Going to school here. Trying to secure myself a spot on Wall Street.”
“You always said you’d get out of Apalachicola.”
Kyle winked. “What brought you up north? New York doesn’t really seem like your scene.”
I tugged on the hem of my dress. Why am I nervous around him? It’s just Kyle. Sure, he’d broken my heart, but that seemed so long ago. Plus, he’d left for college before the bakery burned down. Hopefully, he hadn’t heard anything about it. “Dad wanted to grow his business. He figured we’d do better in a bigger city.”
“How is Frank?”
“He’s good.”
“Good, you’re all caught up now.” Mallory tugged on my elbow. “Come on. Let’s go say hi to the boys.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.
“It was nice running into you, Charlotte. I’d like to buy you a drink later. If that’s okay with your bodyguard.”
Mallory rolled her eyes.
“Sure.” I waved as Mallory dragged me away.
“God, what a loser,” Mallory said once we were out of earshot.
I giggled. “He’s not a loser.”
“Don’t defend him! What did you ever see in that guy? He’s like a skinnier, dorkier version of Tom Cruise.”
“I think he kind of looks like Shawn Mendes, actually.”
“Do not insult that beautiful boy like that. Kyle is scum as far as I’m concerned.”
I laughed. Then, I couldn’t stop. Mallory looked at me like I’d lost my last marble. I doubled over, clutching my stomach.
“What the hell are you laughing at?”
I wiped my eyes as the hysterics died down. “I just realized something. You’re like Rizzo, from Grease … and I’m Sandy.”
Mallory chuckled, shaking her head. “Yeah, right. You’d never let me give you a makeover.”
I burst into a laughing fit again, picturing the extreme makeup and outfit Mallory would try on me. She must’ve pictured the same thing because she started laughing, too.
Then, I realized something else: I was lucky to have found a friend like Mallory. I missed Carla immensely … but Mallory had saved me from the dark pit of fear when I arrived on Staten Island. I owed her so much.
“Let’s do shots.”
Mallory’s eyebrows nearly launched off her forehead and her jaw dropped open. “You want to do shots?”
I shrugged, try
ing to appear nonchalant. “I mean, unless you don’t want to.”
“No, no! I want to. Come on, Sandy!” Mallory dragged me clear across the room, making a beeline to the bar.
Nineteen
Charlotte
Note to self: five shots is too many.
After nursing my hangover all day with Gatorade and ibuprofen, I forced myself to go for a run. The sun was setting, and my breath puffed out in front of me like a cloud of smoke. I needed to feel the high. Once I got there, nothing else would matter.
In the middle of my thoughts, I heard a car rolling slowly behind me. I hadn’t noticed anyone following me, but I also hadn’t been paying attention. I didn’t have mace, my gun, or my phone with me. My heart pounded faster. I wanted to look over my shoulder but felt too nervous. Was someone following me?
I picked up the pace, wanting to break into a sprint, but not wanting to alert the driver. With every block I turned down, the sound of the tires rolling over the pavement followed behind. Finally, I stopped and pretended to tighten my shoelaces. When I bent down, the sound of the moving car stopped with me. Panic set in. TJ taught me what to do. I can handle this.
As I tied the knot on my laces, I casually looked around. A shiny black Cadillac SUV was stopped in the middle of the road. The windows were tinted so dark, I couldn’t see inside. The reflection from the streetlights on the windshield made it impossible to make out the driver. If I was being followed, that could only mean one thing: Tommy was coming back for revenge.
I couldn’t go home. I would lead him right to my father, if he didn’t already know where we lived. My heart beat in my throat as I ran thinking about what I should do next.
Then, a car horn split the air, causing me to jump. I spun around and saw Tanner’s Mustang behind the SUV. Tanner was beeping and waving his hand out the window.
“Come on, asshole! You’re blocking the road! Drive!” he shouted.
The SUV took off, whizzing past me. I strained my eyes as hard as I could to get a glimpse of the person inside, but it was no use.
Tanner pulled alongside me wearing a grin. “Hey, hot stuff. Want a ride?”
I quickly threw his passenger door open and hopped inside. “Drive. Hurry!”
Tanner
Charlotte looked as if she’d seen a ghost.
“What’s wrong, baby? Are you okay?”
“I think that car was following me. I just need you to drive away from here.” She frantically locked her door.
“Are you serious?” I stepped on the gas and turned left at the first intersection I approached. She was a beautiful girl, running alone at dusk. Joggers were abducted all the time in New York. There was a scary possibility she could be right.
Charlotte covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shown up when you did.”
“It’s okay, my sweet girl. I’m here. Everything is okay.” Thank God I took the long way home from work. Tears streamed down her face, and her hands shook in her lap. I wanted to console her, but I needed to get her somewhere she felt safe.
“It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re here, with me. You’re okay, baby. I’m going to take you home with me. You’ll be safe.”
“No!” she exclaimed. “You can’t go to your house. He’ll follow you there.”
“Who is he?” She said it like she knew who he was.
“The … the driver of the SUV. He might still be following us.”
I watched her from the corner of my eye. She could tell me she was in love with me and bare her body to me, but she still couldn’t tell me the truth about who she was running from.
Charlotte calmed down once we’d driven around for a while. No one was following us. I’d made sure of it. I pulled the car onto a side street and parked. I lifted her chin as I spoke. “You’re safe, baby.”
She sighed against my touch. “How are you?”
“I’m all right. Miss you like crazy though.”
“Do you?”
“It kills me that you have to ask that.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and it was easily the saddest sight I had ever seen.
“Why did you shut me out? Why couldn’t you let me be there for you? That’s all I wanted. We didn’t have to talk about anything. I just wanted to hold you. I want you to be able to lean on me.”
I rubbed the stubble that had grown in on my jawline, preparing to bare my soul to her. As it turns out, telling someone you love them isn’t all that hard. I’d never had difficulty telling anyone how I was feeling at any given time. However, confessing my deepest, darkest fears and insecurities … that shit was hard. Once you reveal the skeletons in your closet, there’s no more darkness left to hide them in. Light shines like a spotlight on your worst imperfections. You’re left with nothing but hope. Hope that people can forgive you for all your wrongs. Hope that people will love you in spite of them.
“When my father died, something struck me. Something that I’d never thought about until that moment. You’re going to die one day. I can’t stop it. That’s life. It sounds crazy when I say it out loud, like I shouldn’t be thinking so morbidly … but it consumed me. I’m not strong enough to withstand losing you. I don’t want to live in a world where you are not in it—with me.
“I watched my mother lose the man she loves. I watched her become a shell of her former self, going through the motions, trying to stay afloat for the sake of her kids. It kills me, Charlotte. Absolutely kills me. I don’t want to go through something like that.” I stopped to swallow the lump in my throat. “I’m terrified of losing you because I love you.”
Charlotte’s body stiffened. I couldn’t read the expression on her face. Then, I saw tears in her eyes.
Shit. I just fucked this all up.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Charlotte. I’ve been in love with you since the moment you told me that you washed my shirt according to the instructions on the tag.”
Her tears fell, but she was smiling. “You didn’t know you loved me then. You didn’t even know me.”
“I knew, and I’ve known every day since then.”
Charlotte closed her eyes as she touched her forehead to mine. After a moment of tortured silence, she pulled back and looked into my eyes. “I love you, too, Tanner.”
“I just don’t know how to handle the paralyzing fear of losing you.”
“You know, I was very young when I lost my mom. I learned early on that people die, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It hurts like hell, and you never fully get over it. But that doesn’t mean you can turn off your heart and refrain from loving anyone ever again.” Her eyes lifted to meet mine. “Life is short. Each moment is fleeting. We’re all destined to die, one way or another. You need to decide if you can handle that certainty. Follow your head, and live in fear, or follow your heart, and live in love. What kind of person are you? Do you choose to play it safe, or can you choose to be brave?”
I nuzzled my face in between her neck and shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair. “I choose you. No matter what.”
“I’m so sorry about your father. I’m sorry you felt like you had to go through that alone. I wanted to be there for you. I always want to be here for you.” She touched her lips to the corner of my tear-stained eye, and then sprinkled soft kisses all over my face.
After a moment, Charlotte pulled away and straightened herself in the passenger seat. “I guess you can take me home now. I’m sorry I freaked out. It was probably nothing. The driver must’ve been looking for an address or something, and I just assumed he was following me.” She laughed her nervous laugh, trying to throw me off. “Now you can see why I bought a gun. I’m so paranoid.”
More lies. It nagged at my gut as I navigated back to Charlotte’s apartment. Something I couldn’t ignore. “You know how you said you want me to be able to lean on you?”
“Yes. I meant it.”
“Well, I want you to feel like you
can lean on me, too.”
“I do feel that way, baby.”
I cleared my throat. “I want you to be able to tell me about your past. I want you to open up to me.”
“You know I can’t.”
“No. I don’t know anything. I know that you won’t tell me, but what I don’t understand is why? What’s the big deal if you tell me? It’s not like I’m going to tell anyone.”
She closed her eyes and squeezed the bridge of her nose. “I can’t do this, Tanner.”
The sound of irritation in her voice caused my anger to trickle out. I tried to breathe through it. “You’re keeping something from me. How can you tell me you love me if you can’t tell me the truth?”
“Oh, that’s great. So, you’re saying I don’t really love you if I don’t tell you?”
“I’ve let you into my heart. I’ve shown you all of my cards. You know the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have nothing to hide from you. I don’t get why you feel like you have to hide anything from me. I love you, no matter what.”
“It was just a fire. Dad and I wanted to start over somewhere new. Now we’re here. That’s it.”
The more she lied to my face, the angrier I grew. “I read the articles about your bakery in Florida. They were dated right before you showed up here in New York. Something happened in that bakery, and you know exactly what it was. Are you and your father in the Mob? Are you criminals on the run? Are you serial killers?”
“Tanner, please slow down. You’re going too fast.”
“Don’t change the subject. I want you to tell me the truth.”
“You told me you could accept me without knowing the truth! You told me you could do this!”
“I can’t do this if you don’t let me all the way in, Charlotte. I can’t be the only one who—”
“Tanner! Watch out!” Charlotte braced herself against the door.
I’d blown through a stop sign without even realizing it. I swerved onto the sidewalk so an oncoming car wouldn’t smash into Charlotte’s side of the car. The driver blared his horn at me as he skidded out of the way.
The Other Brother (The Collision Series) Page 17