by Vella, Wendy
“Fin, I wondered if there had been any more discoveries on the mountain.” Noel looked uncomfortable.
“Nothing so far, but we’ll be sure to let the right people know if we do.”
Noel’s brother, Simon, had gone missing a few years ago and never been found.
“It’s been hard on my mother, you see.”
“Completely understand how it would be, Noel, and I promise Chief Blake will be in touch if there is any news concerning you.”
Noel nodded, then left.
Jack let out a long, slow breath. “I can’t imagine what that would be like. I mean, if Joe or Luke went missing, I’m not sure I’d ever stop looking. To know they were out there somewhere dead or alive would be a kind of hell, Fin.”
“It would.” Fin watched Noel until he disappeared. “I’m going up again in the morning. Hopefully I’ll find something then.”
“I’ll go up later,” Jack said. “Anyway, bud, I need to go. Nice as this has been, Pip is making me breakfast at Phil’s, and it will be cold.” Jack slapped him hard on the shoulder. “Don’t turn into an icicle during your midlife crisis out there on the open road.”
“I’m not middle aged!” Fin howled, outraged.
Jack just winked and ran across the street. Fin hoped he hit a patch of ice and landed on his ass. His luck was out.
Chapter Eight
He got on his bike and rolled slowly out of town; the ride would clear his head. He was still feeling unsettled and pissed off and told himself this was the left over remnants from seeing his father again. He had brought the Harley because he’d always wanted one, but his friends were right. It had also been a distraction. A way to deal with what he didn’t want to face.
Looking at the mountains, he thought there wasn’t anywhere else he’d rather live than here. The scenery was spectacular. But this place was more to Fin. It was in his blood. Okay, at the moment that blood was set at a steady simmer, but that was his father’s doing.
The wind was icy on his cheeks, but the helmet and scarf he wore along with his leather jacket kept him warm. His thoughts returned to Maggs.
What was the woman’s deal? Something had changed inside her, given her fear, he just didn’t know what. She’d always been fiery and fierce, but never scared. She was that now.
As if he’d conjured her up, there she was on the side of the road. The hood of her car was raised, and she was standing staring down at the engine when he stopped. She narrowed her eyes at him. Fin realized she didn’t recognize him, so he took off his helmet.
“Nice bike. It suits you.”
“Big and mean?” Fin asked, getting off.
“Hard-assed with silver highlights.”
“I’m not entirely sure that’s a compliment. But I found a gray hair the other day, actually. It was a bitch to pull out.” He walked toward her, taking in the black jeans, boots, and a green jacket buttoned to her neck. The only vibrant color was in her cheeks. They were pink. Maggs always wore color; it was her trademark. He searched for it, but didn’t find any. Another change.
“Pip says when you visit your family, which you did just before I returned home, you always do something reckless. Is that your reckless streak from this visit?” She nodded at his bike.
“I don’t do reckless things, and I’ve always wanted a bike like this,” he said calmly. If he got riled up, that would simply confirm her belief she was right.
“Okay, if you say so.” Her eyes told him she was doubtful.
“I do say so.”
“Okay.”
“Look,” he gritted out. “I wanted this bike, end of story.”
Her smile made him want to shake her. “If you say so,” she said with an annoying smile.
Fin only just managed to bite back the words ‘I do say so.’
“Okay, but if you feel an irrational urge to buy anything after another visit, there’s this really nice pair of brown leather boots in Letty’s. She’s holding them for me.”
He barked out a laugh. “I’ll try and remember that. So what’s the deal with your car?”
“It just stopped.”
“You got gas?”
This look held a little more heat. “Of course.”
He moved closer and looked under the hood. Poking around, he couldn’t see anything obvious.
“Could be a few things, all of which suggest you can’t drive it.”
“Really?” She looked pissed. “I need to be somewhere.”
“You won’t be going anywhere in this. Need to give Bas a call and get him to tow it back to the garage.”
She pulled out her cell phone, then jammed it back in her pocket. “No coverage here.”
“Hop on. I’ll take you back to Ryker.”
“On that?” She looked doubtful.
“Well I’m not piggybacking you all the way.”
“Ha ha. But I need to go home, Fin. I’ve been summoned for lunch.”
“Okay, I’ll take you.”
She looked like she was in pain while she thought about how to answer that.
“I’m not leaving you here, Maggs. So I take you either where you want to go or back to Ryker. Make a decision.”
“Don’t use that tone on me.”
“No tone; just stating facts.”
“I don’t want to go on your motorbike.”
“I don’t remember you being such a baby before. And I have a spare helmet.”
“I’m not a baby!” The words had heat in them, he was pleased to hear. She walked away from him and pulled out her cell phone again. She lifted it above her head, moved left and right, and he waited and watched.
“Entertaining as this is, I have shit to do, and it’s getting cold out here.”
“It’ll be colder on that bike!”
He just looked at her, arms folded.
“All right!” She stomped back, and he was pleased to see anger flushing her cheeks.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t I doing you a favor?” Fin made a show of looking around him. “Not many other options that I can see.”
She exhaled slowly. He then watched her inhale and exhale twice more.
Interesting.
He’d never seen her do that before, and if he was a betting man, he’d say she was doing it to calm herself. Usually Maggs just let fly with whatever was in her head, no filter.
“You doing okay there, sweet cheeks?”
“Peachy.”
“Morning! Need any help?”
They both turned at the words and found Mr. Goldhirsh approaching on his bike at light speed with his posse.
“We got it, but thanks,” Fin said, lifting a hand.
They all flew by in a long straight line, dressed in various colors of the same uniform.
“Those are their matching Ryker Wheelies shirts. Pip told me she helped pick the colors,” Maggs said.
“Nice, especially the sash of bright green on the back. Really stands out. How is it possible that man can make me feel inadequate constantly?” Fin added.
“That yoga all but wiped me out,” Maggs added. “The guy’s a machine, even injured.”
“He is that. I’ll be happy if I have half his stamina at that age. And you bailed before the really hard stuff started.”
“Good timing then.”
They watched the cyclists disappear.
“I envy him,” Maggie said. “He didn’t let what happened in his past change the way he approached his future. In fact, I think it made him stronger.” Mr. Goldhirsh had been raised in Nazi occupied Germany, and his family was Jewish.
“Yeah, he’s the strongest man I know.” Fin envied Mr. Goldhirsh too. He’d put his past behind him, not something Fin had ever managed.
The noise came out of nowhere. Loud, it boomed around them. Fin did a 180-degree turn, checking there was no danger nearby. The acoustics were pretty awesome with the mountains surrounding them, and he had a feeling it came from the military base some distance away. Seeing nothing threateni
ng, he turned back to Maggs.
She was huddled beside her car with her hand over her ears.
What the hell?
“Hey.” He dropped down beside her. “It’s all right, Maggs. Nothing but a boom from the military base.” He touched her arm; she was shaking. In fact, her entire body was trembling, and she was making whimpering sounds.
“Maggs.” He ran a hand over her head, but she didn’t react. Almost as if she had no idea he was there. She was deep in whatever terror held her in its grip, like she had been in the bank.
Fin moved in behind her, wrapping his arms around her. No one passing could see them, as they were on the opposite side of the car to the road. He’d had medical training, had to in his profession, but he wasn’t equipped to cope with whatever this was. He thought she may be experiencing some kind of PTSD, just like when she’d begged him to save her from being shot in the bank.
What the hell happened to you, Maggie?
“Come on, sweetheart.” He said the words softly, lifting her into his arms. He then pressed his back to her car. “Everything will be all right.”
She didn’t fight him, simply burrowed in, wrapping her arms around his neck. Fin held her close, surrounded her, unsure what else he should be doing. He’d not felt this helpless in a very long time.
“Maggs, honey, it’s okay now.”
Fin knew about panic attacks; his mother used to have them all the time. He’d hold her until they’d eased. He did that now for Maggs. Held her, telling her she was all right as thoughts whirled around inside his head.
One thing he knew as he sat there with the trembling woman in his arms was that his hunch had been right. Something was really off with Maggie Winter. She’d left Ryker eager and ready for the new adventure awaiting her and come home with demons. Now he just had to get her to tell him what they were.
Chapter Nine
Maggs rested against Fin, warm and safe. It was still cold, but the large body she was pressed to warmed her, as did the arms.
What am I going to say to him?
Feeling the steady beat of his heart under her ear was comforting. She’d had so many attacks since the day those two men had walked into that restaurant and rocked the foundations of the world she’d always believed were solid.
You’re not alone anymore.
Maggs pushed that thought aside. She’d made the choice to keep what happened from her friends and family because she didn’t want to worry them at the time. Of course she’d told them she was involved, but just not to what extent. Part of her decision had been that when she came home, she could leave what happened in London behind, safe in the knowledge no one here would want to talk about it.
“I have you, Maggs. Take some deep breaths for me, sweetheart.”
His hand was on her head, the other stroking her back, soothing her. God, it felt good… too good. Crap, she’d just made a fool of herself in front of Fin Hudson again, and now he’d want to know why. She’d managed to avoid talking about the bank incident with him, but could she do the same with this? Maggs doubted it. Findlay Hudson was tenacious.
“Do you think I could pull of a pair off those spandex cycling shorts as well as Mr. Goldhirsh? I’m thinking I could.”
“You don’t have the legs for it. Mr. Goldhirsh is hot,” Maggie said.
“I’m hot!”
“But not in his league.”
Fin sighed, the muscled chest rising and falling beneath her ear. “It’s probably best I don’t. There would likely be a riot as I cycled down the main street. All the women gasping and sighing. I’d be mobbed.”
“That ego of yours is stronger than ever.”
“I always try to be honest.”
It was a silly conversation, but one that gave her time to regroup. Time to breathe easier and steady herself.
“If you believe that’s honesty, we have a problem.”
“You’re a cruel woman, Maggie Winter. A man’s ego is a fragile thing.”
“There is absolutely nothing fragile about you, Findlay Hudson.”
She felt his lips in her hair and closed her eyes. She wanted to stay right here forever. Here she was safe. But she couldn’t.
“I’m all right now, thanks.” She tried to push out of his arms.
“Like hell.” They tightened. “First the bank, and now this. What’s going on, Maggs?”
“I’m okay. It’s passed now, and thank you for that. I—ah, I’m not sure what happened.”
“Don’t lie to me, Maggie.”
“I’m not. Let me go, Fin.” She pushed against his chest, and reluctantly he released her.
“Talk to me. What was that about?”
“Nothing.” She climbed to her feet. Cool air slapped her cheeks as Maggie walked slowly down the road, counting as she drew in a breath, then released it like she’d been taught until she began to feel normal again… whatever the hell her new normal was.
Knowing she couldn’t just keep walking and that he’d be waiting for her to return, she headed back to face the inevitable questions from the sexy park ranger.
What would she say to him? Maggs had hoped coming back here would have stopped the attacks. Stopped the flashbacks. Seemed she was wrong. It had taken the loud boom to set her off, and she was instantly back in that restaurant in London. Why? A gunshot did not sound like a bomb.
Her therapist had said the attacks would just come on her unexpectedly, that something random could trigger them.
“Feeling better?” He leaned against the front fender of her car now, arms crossed, eyes focused intently on her. His hair was ruffling in the breeze, leather jacket open, and beneath he wore a gray wool sweater. His long legs were in faded worn jeans. On his feet were tan lace-up boots.
The man was an absolute magnet for women. They loved his occupation, his looks, his personality, and pretty much everything he was, and she had to say that in this setting with the mountains behind him, he looked good.
“I’m sorry about that, Fin. I’m not sure what happened,” Maggs said. She hated lying, but right now it was her best defense.
“Looked to me like one hell of a panic attack or some kind of flashback.”
“Yeah, weird right?” Maggs smiled, forcing her lips upward. The word flashback sent chills through her. She’d had enough of those to last a lifetime already. “It was the noise. It gave me a surprise is all, Fin. I’m not used to things like that just coming out of the blue.”
“Bullshit. The same thing happened when the robbery started in the bank. Both times were more than a surprise, and you lived in one of the nosiest cities in the word. So don’t give me that BS. Tell me what’s going on, Maggs.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” She dug her toes into her boots to stop from taking a step back and away from him. She’d developed a healthy fight or flight streak over the last six months, and right now it was all about flight. In fact, she had the urge to simply hit the road and keep running until she found a nice place to hide. Of course, she loathed exercise, so that wouldn’t happen, and to be honest she’d probably only last about five minutes, as her fitness levels were nonexistent.
“You’ve come back different from the girl who left here two years ago.”
Crap.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m exactly the same.”
“No. You’re not confident now, you don’t laugh constantly. There is no teasing or groping—”
“I don’t grope!”
His smile was slow. “I enjoyed the groping.”
“I do not grope people!”
“No. You were sweet, sexy as hell, and only touched the guys who were your friends, and purely in a non-sexual fun way. FYI, I loved your hands on me.”
She absolutely did not feel a flush of heat from those words.
“Well, maybe I’ve just grown up. It’s not like I didn’t need to.” Yes, that could work. She’d say she’d been making personal changes since she left. “I’ve been discovering myself, as I didn’t much like who I w
as. I needed to change, grow up. I did that while I was in London.”
“Like a self-discovery journey?”
“Exactly.”
“Bullshit.”
“Whatever, and I don’t have time for this.” Maggs lifted the cuffs of her jacket and sweater to check her watch.
“What the hell is that?” He grabbed her hand and forced the sleeve up, further exposing the long scar.
“Nothing.”
“That,” he ran a finger along the angry red line, “is not nothing.”
“Look, Fin. I need you to drop me somewhere. Can you do that or not?”
“I can. But I want the truth before I do. What happened to make you panic, and how long have you had that on your arm, because I know you didn’t have it before leaving Ryker.”
Crap.
“Spill, Maggs, or I’ll tell the others what happened, today and in the bank when you begged me to save you from being shot.” His hand held her before him.
She tried to think of something to explain what happened. Should she just tell him? But then he would tell the others, and they’d be upset. If Bailey and Pip found out, there would be hell to pay because she’d kept something so big from them.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Try again.”
“I don’t have to tell you anything.”
“Is it to do with what happened in that restaurant? The shooting?”
Her body twitched. Just the mention of that day had the breath whooshing from her.
“I don’t want to talk about that. It’s over and done with, and I left it behind in London. I need you to respect that, Fin.” Maggs held her breath as he studied her. She knew those blue eyes were focused and intent behind those lenses.
“No, I can’t.”
“What? Why not? You have no right to pry into my life.” She felt the wonderful heat of anger.
“Friends have every right to pry into each other’s lives. In the bank, you begged me not to let anyone shoot you. Today you clung to me after that loud noise. I want to know why.”
“It’s no big deal, all right! Just drop it, Fin.”
“Maggie, I’m your friend. Talk to me.”