“Afraid of what?” He wasn’t expecting this. Nora was opening up a measure.
“That if we got back together—at some point down the road—I’d end up hurting you. And even with us not together, I have. I’ve hurt you terribly, Rush. And I’m sorry. It’s not too late to say it.”
Rush wasn’t sure what to say or even if he could, not with the lump clogging his throat.
“I’ve hurt myself too,” she said. “I don’t share the truth about me or how I feel because I hate the truth. I hate a lot of things about myself. For one, I’m a hypocrite.” She set the cup down, hand trembling, but then she raised her chin. “I’m up to my eyeballs in debt. I went to Knoxville to escape this place. Escape being Marilyn Livingstone’s daughter. I didn’t want that. I made this new life, made connections with the elitists and tried to be someone new, but that someone couldn’t keep up with those people—I don’t have my dad’s money.”
Rush stepped forward to go to her, to comfort, but she shook her head and he paused.
“I didn’t quit my job. I lost it to someone else. But I didn’t want anyone to know that either. You’re right, Rush. I’ve been selfish. And you’re also right...you and I...we had something once. We did. But too much has happened between us. We can’t ever get that back. I’d hurt you. Like I always do. You’re right to have stopped it before it started.”
Rush’s eyes burned and he clenched his teeth to hold back a dam of emotions.
“And one more truth for today.” She inhaled and let out a shaky sigh, but she looked him square in the eye. “I love you too. I don’t think I’ll ever not love you.”
She repeated his words from last night, but instead of filling him with joy it only brought a stabbing pain and ache. There was nothing left to say.
Nora returned to her coffee cup and paused, then straightened her shoulders. “Now. Moving on. Last night, you said something. It didn’t hit me until this morning.”
Rush mentally trekked through their previous conversation. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You said, ‘I’ve kept quiet about what I saw that night,’ and then kept going. As I replayed that conversation it dawned on me... I have no idea what you were talking about.”
Rush’s stomach landed at his feet. In the heat of the moment, he’d blurted it. So much for trying to spare Joshua and Nora peace about Marilyn at least being faithful in the end.
“Rush? What are you keeping me from me?”
Rubbing his forehead, he turned around, his back to her. “Nora, I was trying to spare you then and I was going to tell you early on in the investigation but you were still in denial...and then your dad thought everything had ended well—”
“Rush!” Nora grabbed his forearm and spun him around. “What do you know?”
“Your mom was kissing a man with a Phantom of the Opera mask that night. In your dad’s office.”
Nora gaped, then her eyes lit up. “That’s why when I got to the basement, you hurried me away. Said you wanted to exchange presents somewhere else. My mom was in the office with a man! Possibly the man in the car. Probably so.”
Rush nodded. “How mad are you?”
“Yesterday, I might have gone off the deep end. But I’ve been a vault of secrets so I can’t really be angry. I’m sorry you had to see that. Sorry you carried that with you all this time.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Nora’s eyes turned watery. “I’ve done all the hurting, Rush.”
They remained silent. No words to be said. Only regret and pain.
Nora gave a tight-lipped smile. “I’ve almost finished my research. While it’s not one hundred percent accurate, it is likely the weather didn’t contribute to my mother’s car accident. Troy was either lying or he remembered poorly. After what we’ve discovered, my guess is he was lying.”
Rush nodded. “I’m going to talk to Harvey Langston today. I can’t be sure he’ll tell me the truth, but it’s worth a shot.”
“I’d like to come with you.”
“I know.” His phone rang. “It’s Teddy VanHolt.” He answered and put her on speaker. “Hey, Teddy. It’s early.”
“Not for you. And I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
“I suspect you have news.”
“I do. My friend Wilder Flynn at Covenant Crisis Management had his computer analyst do some research for me. I can confirm that Scott Rhodes has been receiving payments from Joshua Livingstone. I cannot confirm the purchase of plane tickets on or around the Christmas Eve in question. Nor did I find any paper or digital trail of him making a road trip to Splendor Pines or any town or city within a day’s drive. It appears he isn’t directly involved now or in the past.”
Rush and Nora had a hunch he wasn’t. No, Scott Rhodes had the sweet end of the deal. A lot of money every year his entire life to leave Nora and Marilyn alone. Why rock that boat?
Teddy continued, “I have enough to expose him for soliciting prostitutes and using high-end call girls. I’m always up for leaking anonymous info to the press. Say the word.”
Rush looked at Nora and she shook her head. He silently agreed with her. If Scott Rhodes wasn’t out to hurt Nora, better to leave him alone. Not that he condoned what Scott Rhodes was doing, but that wasn’t for him to expose. Besides if the press dug, they might find Nora and who knows what kind of backlash that would have. “No. Sit on it. Anything recent? Trips here? Any way to know if he hired muscle to come deal with Nora?”
“I don’t think so, Rush. Seems your problem is local. Anything I can do to help? Happy to take a trip to the mountains.”
“The weather is treacherous. You’re safer where you are but thank you.”
“No prob. How’s Hollister?” Teddy asked.
“He’s same old, same old. Is that why you really wanna make the trip?”
Teddy laughed. “If I wanted to know what Hollister was up to, I’d know.”
That was the truth. “Merry Christmas, Teddy.”
“Merry Christmas, Rush.”
He hung up. “What do you want to do, Nora? I think we can safely rule out Scott Rhodes.”
Nora nodded. “I agree. Let’s pursue the leads we have now, see where they take us.”
“Let’s start with Harvey Langston.”
* * *
Harvey Langston hadn’t coughed up anything other than admitting he had been involved with Nora’s mom for a brief time and it had cost him his marriage. Nora couldn’t be sure if he was lying or not, but she still had her sights on Ward McKay. He was shady. He had motive and opportunity as well as connections to hire someone if he wasn’t actually doing the dirty work.
But what had Nora up in arms at the moment was the phone call from Hailey. Dalton was sick and she couldn’t get away with all the preparations for the masquerade ball. Nora didn’t mind picking him up; it was nice to be needed and feel useful.
But the elementary school connected with the middle school, and there might be a chance Nora would encounter Ainsley Parsons. She didn’t want to bump into her even if bygones were bygones, according to Rush.
“I can’t believe the kids have school,” Nora said.
Rush chuckled. “As long as they can keep power and water going, the kids are stuck having to attend and pining for snow days.”
“I loved snow days. Poor Dalton won’t be enjoying anything.”
“You want me to come in with you? Help out if he needs carried or something?” Rush asked.
The idea of him swooping in to carry out a sick little boy sent flutters through her middle. Rush would make a wonderful father. “That’s sweet but...but I’d rather go alone.” She was dreading bumping into Ainsley. Having Rush with her would be even worse.
“I understand. Text if you need me.”
“Will do.” She went inside and straight to the office. A f
resh-faced brunette sat behind the reception desk. “I’m here to pick up Dalton Gladwell.”
“Name?”
“Nora Livingstone,” a voice said from behind.
Nora swiveled and shrank inside. “Ainsley. Hello.” Well, of course she’d see her right off the bat.
“Miss Livingstone,” the receptionist said, “I’ll need your license for checkout.”
She showed her the photo ID and the receptionist called the nurses’ station for them to bring Dalton to the office.
“You can wait in here or on the bench in the lobby.”
The lobby. “Thank you.” She hurried by Ainsley and into the lobby, where she perched on the bench and prayed Ainsley wouldn’t approach her again.
Didn’t look like the prayers had reached Heaven yet. Ainsley returned, flaming red hair, dark eyes and a file folder in hand. “How’ve you been?” she asked as she approached.
“Good. You?”
“Good.” She blew a tuft of hair from her eyes. “How about we not let this feel awkward. Chalk up the past to young adult drama.”
Nora relaxed. Rush had been right. “I’d like that.”
“So you know, I never went blabbing like I said I would. I was hurt, but Rush and I...” She shrugged. “I started seeing Dan a few weeks after that. The rest is history.”
“You got a great catch.”
“I did.” She sighed. “I’m sorry about your mom. That can’t be easy.”
“No, it hasn’t been. But thanks. And I’m sorry about your dad’s hotel. We stopped by there the other day to talk to Ward and I couldn’t believe it.” She also couldn’t believe she was sitting here chatting with Ainsley Parsons. The insecurity in her past had made her paranoid. What if she hadn’t gotten out of Dodge but stuck around?
“Dad’s had some hard knocks but he always gets back up.”
“Aunt Nora!” Dalton feebly cried. His little face was pale and his lips cherry red and cracked. “I’m sick.”
“I heard, buddy. We’re gonna get you home and all snuggled up. Sound good?” She rubbed his head, the heat radiating against her palm. “Has he had any Tylenol?” she asked the nurse.
“No, we’re not allowed to administer medicines without a prescription.” She smiled apologetically. “His temperature was 101.2 thirty minutes ago. I gave him a Popsicle and a cool rag.”
“Thank you,” Nora said.
“Where’s my mom?”
“She’s covered up right now on the big masquerade ball stuff so here I am. That okay?” Poor kid. When Nora had been young and sick, all she wanted was her mother. She’d have to suffice for now.
“Will you be in town for the ball?” Ainsley asked.
“Yeah. First one in a while.”
Ainsley patted Dalton’s head. “Feel better, little man. You can’t be sick at Christmastime. You have too many sweet treats to eat!” With that, she waved and went back inside the office.
“Flu’s going around. I’d have him tested,” the nurse said. “Feel better, Dalton.”
Nora bundled Dalton into his coat and wrapped her scarf around his head. “Come on, buddy. Mr. Rush is waiting outside, and he’s in the sheriff’s Bronco. Maybe he’ll switch the sirens on for you. That would be fun, huh?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, and trudged along beside her. She helped him into the backseat, buckled him up and grabbed the flannel blanket from the floorboard, covering him with it.
“I don’t know what meds are at the house. Can we stop for some?” she asked Rush as she climbed inside the toasty warm Bronco.
“Of course. Hey, Dalton. Sorry you feel bad.” Rush switched on the sirens and Nora’s insides turned to marshmallow. She hadn’t even had to ask. Dalton’s glassy eyes lit up.
“Cool!” he said.
They stopped off at the convenience store for medicine and a few other items. “I’ll be right back,” Nora said.
She hurried inside, but carefully—the parking lot was slick. Christmas music played over the speakers, and the store smelled like pine cleaner and vanilla. The cashier—who seemed bored to death—greeted her.
Nora strode down the aisle and found the Tylenol. If it was the flu, what else might make an six-year-old feel better? She perused the shelves. Hairs rose on the back of her neck. She glanced up. No one was in the aisle with her. But she had the distinct feeling she was being watched.
She went back to hunting items that might make him feel better. She’d filled her small cart with Popsicles that had electrolytes in them, chicken noodle soup, crackers, 7 Up and a pack of Pokémon cards. No one seemed to be lurking, but Nora couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was.
After paying for the items, she hurried with her plastic bags to the vehicle.
“Did you see Ward McKay?” Rush asked as she climbed inside.
“No.”
“He left a couple of minutes ago.”
Could Ward have been spying on her? Hiding from her, then making his exit before she got to the checkout line? “I won’t lie. I felt watched in there, but I never actually saw him. Did he see you when he came out?”
“I’m hard to miss in this vehicle, but he didn’t pay me any attention. Didn’t wave.”
“My tummy hurts, Aunt Nora.”
Nora hurried and emptied a plastic bag—just in case. She handed it to him. “We’re almost home, buddy. Hold tight and you can crawl in bed soon.”
“Main house?” Rush asked.
“Yeah. His movies and bedding are there. Thanks for running errands for us.” Rush made it a point to go out of his way for others. She admired his giving spirit and it wasn’t only at Christmastime. This was Rush all year long.
Nora opened the Tylenol and poured a dose in the cup. “Here, buddy. Go ahead and take this.”
She caught Rush smirking.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he said.
“Something.”
He chuckled. “I was thinking you’ll make a great mom, Nora Beth.” His voice became hushed, almost reverent. “You still want kids?”
“I do.” She’d dreamed of baby names since she was a little girl. Dreamed of having Rush’s last name. “Someday.”
“Someday feels out of reach, doesn’t it?” Rush murmured. Was he reading her mind or was he speaking quietly for himself?
Hope for them was lost.
Hope for Rush finding love again wasn’t.
Nora wasn’t sure she’d ever find anyone as special as Rush. She might as well be doomed to live alone forever.
Hope had disappointed her time and again.
The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him.
The verse from Lamentations that hung on the wall in her father’s office struck her heart. Had her hopes been in Jesus or in the things she’d longed for and wanted? She glanced at Rush. She’d placed her hope in him as a young girl. When Mom vanished, not even Rush could fill the void and ache.
And she hadn’t turned to the Lord for her strength, to soothe her sore soul.
She’d run.
“You okay, Nora Beth?” Rush asked as he pulled into the snowy drive of the main house.
Turning her head to wipe a few stray tears that had escaped, she nodded. “Yeah. Let’s get this little man inside and to bed.”
Poor little Dalton was looking even more feeble. “I got him,” Rush said and scooped the boy in his arms. Tears stung her eyes at the sight. Nora grabbed the plastic bags and they entered the house. “Where’s his room?”
“Upstairs. Second on the left. I’ll be up after I call Hailey.”
Rush started up the stairs with Dalton. He was talking to him, but she couldn’t hear the words. Dalton giggled. She sighed and called Hailey.
“How is he? I feel so guilty for not picking him up myself, but these invoices wo
n’t get entered by themselves and Nathan couldn’t leave work... Don’t get me started.”
Being a single mom wasn’t easy. Nora wished there was more she could do. “I could come enter the invoices for you. Leave me a list of codes and I’ll get the hang of it.”
“Thanks, Nora. But I’m almost done.”
“Okay, well he’ll probably go to sleep. I gave him Tylenol on the way here and bought some stuff for him. Rush is putting him in bed now. The nurse said it could be the flu and he’ll need to be tested for it. If you can’t take him to the doctor, I can.” It was the least she could do to help her sister out.
“I’ll do it. I’ll call now and let you know. Thanks for helping me, Nora. I miss having you around—not for favors but because I just miss you. I wish you weren’t taking the job in Florida. Hank always needs help at the radio station.”
The original job she’d been coming home to interview for before the fiasco with Rush. “I don’t want to work in radio, Hailey. But I do miss you and being here, even though it hasn’t been easy. It still feels like home.” Unfortunately, Nora couldn’t bear to live so close to Rush knowing they could never be together. That felt like punishment.
“I understand. Dalton will be thrilled to come visit you and get beach time in. There are definitely perks.” She snickered. “I could use some soaking in the sun on the beach, reading a good book. I can’t tell you the last time I had the chance to enjoy a delicious story. Way too long. I’m gonna call the doctor and finish up the invoices unless he can get us in now. I’ll text you.” She hung up.
Rush leaned against the kitchen door. “He’s in his pajamas, TV is on his favorite superhero movie and he’s already asleep. Poor kid.”
“Thank you. Hailey is calling the doctor. You want coffee?”
“No,” he said. “Dispatch called. Semi jackknifed. Hazardous material. I have to go. I hate to jerk him out of bed again to take you to the resort.”
“I’ll be okay. Besides, Hailey will be here soon to take Dalton to the doctor and I’ll ride along for moral support.” She gave him an encouraging smile. “I’ll be fine. You be careful out there, though.”
Cold Case Christmas Page 13