by Melody Rose
“Unfortunately, yes,” I grumbled.
Oliver Patel was a son of Dionysis, the god of wine and theatre. Consequently, he was the drama teacher at the Academy. He came back to campus a couple of years ago after saving a bunch of nymphs from their forest burning down. The nymphs now lived on campus, but they were really persnickety women who didn’t answer to anyone except Oliver.
While the drama teacher helped me organize a school dance last year, he also forced Ansel and me to perform a skit in front of everyone. While it allowed me to realize my love for him, I still didn’t like Oliver’s eccentric behavior. He was too much for me, and our values on what we thought was important for a soldier to learn were completely opposite of one another.
“Benji’s right,” Darren agreed. “The nymphs would definitely have those skills and could teach you if Oliver lets them.”
“This really is just getting worse and worse, isn’t it?” I groaned, knowing that even though I didn’t want to have to appeal to Oliver for a second time, it was my best option.
“So, you’re going to do it?” Violet asked, reading between the lines of my complaint.
“I don’t think I have a choice,” I said, keeping my voice at the same groan as before. I leaned my head against the back of the chair and closed my eyes for a moment, letting the situation sink in.
“You always have a choice,” Ansel said under his breath.
My head snapped up at that. “Do you think I shouldn’t do it then?”
“You know my feelings about Oliver,” Ansel answered, putting a hand to his chest.
It was true that the son of Apollo and the son of Dionysis never got along well. But I didn’t think Ansel’s dislike of the drama teacher ran that deep.
“But I learned a long time ago that I can’t tell you what to do,” Ansel said, that hand on his chest moving to gesture towards me. “It’s always up to you, Shy.”
I looked around the room, taking stock of everyone’s opinions. When my eyes moved Benji, I thought about the pain he must be feeling at Zach being deployed. It was a realistic part of our role as soldiers, but we’d been living in a bubble as students. As the war escalated, this would become more and more a part of our reality. What if that happened to Ansel and me? I couldn’t let that happen, not while I had the chance to stop it.
“I’ll talk to Oliver tomorrow after my meeting with the General,” I huffed, announcing my decision. “And I’ll tell the Fates tonight that I accept their deal.”
Darren reached out and tapped my knee, a sign of his approval. “Then we should head out and let you get to it.”
“Aw man,” Benji moaned. “I was semi-serious about spending the night here.”
“Cheyenne doesn’t want you to spend the night,” Violet said as she pushed Benji’s legs off her laps. “That’s Ansel’s job.”
Violet giggled, and Benji joined her like a pair of schoolgirls. I rolled my eyes at the two of them but sent a glance Ansel’s way, hoping to catch a smile or some sign of his amusement. But the soldier kept his eyes trained on the floor.
My friends made their way to the door, taking their sweet time. It wasn’t until I promised them that they could come over tomorrow that they finally got off their asses and left. Esme waited for Ansel outside on the porch. My boyfriend had gotten up with everyone else but lingered on the landing. His hands were in his pockets again, and he kept looking everywhere else than at me.
“You coming, Ansel?” Esme wondered. Her voice was gentle, as though she were reminding him of something.
I looked between the two of them and thought about their whispered conversations during our walks across campus. Not for the first time, I wondered what they had been talking about.
“I’ll meet you back at the apartment,” Ansel said with a nod in Esme’s direction.
She closed the screen door and ventured out into the night, after giving us both a wave.
Finally, Ansel and I were alone. I melted into his arms with a sigh. I expected him to hold me tight, but his body was stiff and unwelcoming. It felt like I threw myself onto a coat rack rather than in the arms of my lover. I pulled back from him and put my hands on my hips.
“Okay, what’s going on with you?” I asked outright. “You’ve been weird all day. I know it’s a lot, but this is us we’re talking about here. We’ve been through hell and back, literally.”
“I know, Shy, I know,” Ansel said as he kicked the ground as though something embarrassed him.
“So tell me what’s going on,” I asked gingerly. I stepped forward and ducked into his line of view, forcing him to look at me instead of the ground. “What’s up, Ansel?”
“It’s just…” Ansel released a puff of air, hard enough to make his lips flutter into a raspberry. “I’m angry.”
“Okay,” I said, drawing out the word into two syllables. “About what?”
“Not about,” he corrected with his hands on his hips. “At you. I’m angry at you.”
I blinked and stepped back, completely stunned by his answer. I never expected those words to come out of his mouth. Before I could ask why, the son of Apollo continued.
“But it’s not fair for me to be because it’s not your fault, but I can’t seem to shake it,” Ansel said. His foot jiggled up and down in anticipation. “Because I know why you did it, I really do, but it’s just… so much is changing, and I can’t do anything about it. It’s all so out of my control.”
“I’m still confused,” I said plainly.
“When you sat in the chair and became an Olympic Official,” Ansel explained. This time, he met my eyes so I could see the seriousness flowing out of his green irises. “I know you were thinking about saving Esme, but you didn’t think about anyone else. Like us.”
“What does being an Olympic Official have to do with us?” I asked, worried for the first time that my choice had ruined way more than it had actually helped.
“It’s a lifetime position, Shy,” Ansel said as he ran his hand through his hair. “You committed to the Academy for life.”
I waited for his words to process through my mind, but I couldn’t actually grasp what he was saying. I may not have understood that this was a lifelong choice before I took the position, but I still didn’t understand why he was so forlorn.
“Why are you so worried?” I asked, deciding it was better to voice my confusion aloud. “Is there like some no dating rule when you are an Olympic Official? Because we both know that’s bullshit, and we’ll just ignore it, anyway.”
“There’s not anything like that that I know of,” Ansel said as he shook his head. “What concerns me is that you didn’t think of us when you made that decision. About what we want to do. Our future.”
“Because you don’t want to stay at the Academy for the rest of your life,” I said, finally putting all of the puzzle pieces together.
“I don’t know if I do or not,” Ansel said. He reached out and took my hands in his. “I know that I want to be with you. But I also wanted to have a choice in our future, in what direction our lives took. I’m worried that you making this rash decision means you don’t think about us in the same way that I do.”
“That’s not true,” I said as I squeezed his hands. “Look, I’m sorry about the consequences of my choice, but I’m still not sorry that I did it. Esme needed it, or her life was going to be ruined.”
Ansel closed his eyes and gathered his thoughts. “I know that.”
“And I’m angry that you think I would just toss away our future like that,” I said, letting my voice fill with some of that frustration. “The thing is Ansel, I believe in us. I believe that we can weather any storm, this one and the next. Do you think we can’t?”
The son of Apollo heaved a heavy sigh, his sculpted chest rising and falling rhythmically. When he didn’t answer me right away, I dug deeper trying to think about the subtext of his words. “Or does this have anything to do with what the General said to you earlier?”
Ansel nodded, unab
le to say his answer aloud. My eyebrows pinched together, and I examined his hunched posture. I thought about all the clues he gave me over the past couple of hours.
“My becoming an Official isn’t the only thing bothering you,” I concluded, not even bothering to ask the question, just knowing that it was true. “That’s not the only thing that’s changing.”
This time, the soldier nodded again with a slow and measured rhythm.
“Ansel,” I said, hardening my voice. “What did he tell you?”
“I’m getting deployed,” he whispered so softly that I didn’t think I heard him at first. “All available soldiers are. They are removing us from campus.”
“All of you?” I said, the words stalling in my ears. “That means Esme too, then?”
“Because she was just reinstated, they need to make sure she’s physically fit, but I’m sure it won’t be long before she leaves too,” Ansel answered, as though he were a nervous student reading his report straight off the page.
I swallowed my nerves and tried to stick to the facts, not let my emotions interrupt the conversation. “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning,” Ansel replied. He licked his lips and coughed as though his mouth suddenly went dry.
I closed my eyes, squishing them shut. It didn’t seem real. I had never been at the Academy without him, and now I would have to go through one of the toughest trials without him by my side. Without his words of encouragement, his smiles, his kisses… they would be gone.
“How long will you be out in the field?” I asked, sticking to the questions with solid answers instead of the swirling bout of sadness and anger that threatened to bubble up.
“He said until the war is won,” Ansel announced.
I ran my tongue over my teeth and put a hand to my chest, thinking that would help even out my breaths. “You weren’t kidding, that is a lot of change.”
“I’m not really mad at you,” Ansel said quickly. “I think it was easier to be mad at you, but I’m not.”
“I get it,” I said as I transferred my hand from my chest to his.
“I believe in us, I do. I just had this… I don’t know,” Ansel threw his head back and rolled his eyes as if he couldn’t believe he was admitting this. “I had this plan for a future for us, and I’m angry that’s no longer an option, with you being an Official and me being out in the field.”
My heart swelled, and I sucked in a sharp breath. “You… you had a plan? For our future?”
“I mean, yeah,” Ansel said as a blush crawled up his cheeks. “I wanted to travel the world with you. Not only fighting monsters but living the life, you know? Eating and drinking the world’s finest delicacies, seeing the sights.” He ran his hands up and down my arms, causing goosebumps to pop up on my skin. “Ever since we were in Italy together, I thought about what grand adventures we could have. And now, you’re going to be tied to the Academy with duties and obligations that will prevent us from doing any of those things.”
I didn’t say anything, still mesmerized by the idea of traveling the world with the man I loved. Suddenly, there was a pang in my stomach. I’m sure it was the same disappointment Ansel had been feeling all day. I got a glimpse of the loss he felt at having that dream be taken from him. From us.
I leaned into my man, putting my head to his chest so I could hear his heartbeat. It was steady, and it calmed me. Ansel wrapped his arms around me and rubbed his hands up and down my back in a slow and relaxing rhythm.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m sorry that this happened. I didn’t mean for it to hurt us or any plans you might have made.”
“I know, and we’re going to be okay,” he said before he kissed the top of my head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away, but I was trying to process my feelings.”
I turned my head so I could go back to looking him in the eye. I laced my fingers behind his neck and used my thumbs to play with the strands of angle fine hair.
“I love you, Ansel Ballas,” I said, never breaking eye contact.
“And I love you, Cheyenne Paulos,” Ansel said as he tilted his head closer to mine, brushing our lips together teasingly.
“I’m going to talk to the Fates,” I said suddenly, shocking both myself and Ansel.
He pulled away from me and raised a single eyebrow. “Talk about a mood killer.”
“I’m sorry,” I said as I shook my head. “But I realize now that I have to talk to them. I have to make the tools. Because if I have to be separate from you until this war ends, then I’m going to end it as fast as possible. If bargaining with the Fates is the first step to doing that, then so be it.”
“I love it when you make declarations like that,” Ansel said with a look of longing in his eyes.
“Shut up,” I said as I wrapped my lips around his.
Our bodies pressed into each other. We found the familiar grooves and locked them into place, like puzzle pieces. I felt the hairs rise on his neck when I ran my tongue along his bottom lip.
My hands traveled down to his pants, and I unbuttoned them. “Why don’t we go upstairs and you tell me all about this future you had planned? There is a whole bedroom we haven’t had the chance to explore yet.”
“From my count, there are three bedrooms we need to explore,” Ansel said with a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.
I slid my hands around his waist, slinking my fingers between his waistband. I explored the smooth skin of his ass, rounding over the firm cheeks. I yanked his pelvis forward, already hard and ready so that we lined up perfectly.
“Right now, you’re the most important thing to me,” I said, looking him straight in the eye. “And if for some gods awful reason this is our last night together for a while, I’m going to spend every single second of it with you.”
“Amen to that,” he said before he devoured me. His strong lips parted mine, and his tongue slithered along my own. The shock to my nerves exploded along my spine, tripping down each vertebra like a row of falling dominoes. I played along, finding the sensitive spot on his left side, which always made him moan.
He detached his mouth from mine to let the full volume of his pleasure echo about.
“Which bedroom would you like to start with?” I said with a suggestive glare.
“Whichever has the largest bed,” he whispered into my ear before giving it a quick, seductive bite. I giggled at his teasing, and my chuckles turned into full-on laughter when he pulled my hands out of his pants and took me into his arms. I hooked my legs around his waist and kissed him fiercely. He hauled me up the stairs and into my brand new bedroom.
The dogs tried to follow us up the stairs, but I had to shoo them away. They whimpered at me once. I made Ansel put me down briefly so I could reassure them. With a pat on their heads, I whispered, “I’m going to need you two to get scarce tonight.”
The Dobermans looked at one another, sharing a language I didn’t understand. Then, in a blink of an eye, they popped out of existence. I knew they would be back, but hopefully not until morning.
I turned to Ansel and wrapped myself back in his arms. “Now, where were we?”
“I think you were going to choose a bedroom?” Ansel said with a smirk.
“Honestly, I don’t give a damn,” I answered before placing my mouth on his again.
We made our way into some doorway. I never bothered to learn which bedroom it was. Instead, I lost myself in the green fields of his eyes and spent the whole night there.
6
I woke to Ansel’s soft lips on my own.
“Hmm,” I cooed, squirming a little under the silk sheets. The bed was ridiculously comfortable. Even after the heavy activities of the previous night, I expected my body to be sore, but the bed caught me and coddled me like a cloud.
“You make me feel like Sleeping Beauty,” I said in a morning baby voice. I stretched out my arms, finding his neck to pull him closer to me. “Did you wake me up for round two?”
When I finally op
ened my eyes and my vision cleared, I realized that my boyfriend wasn’t in bed. He perched over me, standing next to it, fully dressed in his black uniform and orange sash. I could smell the minty freshness of his breath. My fingers noticed that his hair, which he let grow long over the winter break, was now clean-cut, newly shaved close to the skin.
The moments before our sexual exploits came back to me in a rush. Instead of addressing the reality of the situation, I let myself exist in an ignorant bubble. It protected me from the anticipation of the next morning. However, that moment had arrived, and the bubble popped as fiercely as a balloon, sounding like fireworks in my ear.
“I don’t know why, but I really hoped you were lying to me last night,” I said, my sweetness completely gone from my voice.
“I wish I was too,” Ansel said, his voice shockingly strong compared to my own.
I sniffled back an unexpected wave of emotion. “When am I going to see you again?”
“Find your father,” Ansel instructed. “Make the Ultimate Weapon, and we’ll have a fighting chance.”
He pressed his forehead to my own. We closed our eyes and just sat in the silence. There were no goodbye kisses or last-minute quickies. We simply existed in the same space with one another.
“You better stay alive,” I said through a hiccup as I swiped at my eye, so he didn’t see the tears threatening to flow.
“Same goes for you,” Ansel said with a chuckle. Then he grew serious again and looked me into the eye. “I love you, Cheyenne.”
“I love you too,” I said, wishing my voice wasn’t so weak.
There was nothing else we needed to say. I did hop out of bed and walk hand in hand with him down the stairs to the front door. Khryseos and Argyreos followed behind us like the dutiful dogs they were. Ansel even gave each dog their own goodbye, which made my heart ache more.
It had snowed the night before, so there was a blanket of untouched white snow laid out at his feet. It was like nature’s version of a red carpet.
Ansel offered me one last kiss. It was soft and chaste, but all I needed at that moment. Anything more would have hurt too much. Even though the sharp January air snuck into my house when he exited, the cold I felt came from his absence.