And I still have two months to go.
Joy.
Chapter 17
Harrison
With pregnancy comes hormones. Lots and lots of hormones which mean mood swings. My Winnie has had those in spades the last few weeks. We went from making love anywhere and everywhere to once a week if we’re lucky, and only at night in bed. Don’t get me wrong. I’m fine with that. I know that she’s an incubator for our daughter and that the further along in her pregnancy she gets, the more uncomfortable she is.
I get that.
I understand that.
What I don’t understand is the distance I’m starting to feel. Maybe it’s all in my head, and maybe it’s not. One way or another, I’m going to find out. We’ve come too far to let miscommunication come between us. If it’s pregnancy hormones, bring it—I’m here and not going anywhere. However, if it’s something more, I want to know about it. I can’t fix it if I don’t know. Regardless, she’s stuck with me. There is no other option.
It’s Friday, and I’m taking the day off. Winnie’s last day of work for the Christmas break was yesterday, and I’m surprising her by spending the day together. Tomorrow is our baby shower, and her sister and our mothers will monopolize her time. Today she’s all mine. She just doesn’t know it yet. Chase is on call for the gym, and I’ve all but threatened Gina with her life not to call me. She’s to contact Chase, and if he needs me, he’ll call. Otherwise, it’s just me and my girls.
I’ve been awake since five, my usual wake up time. My body is on a routine, and I can’t seem to turn it off. I’m used to getting to the gym early for my workout before starting my day. It’s now just before seven, and I’m still lying here wide awake. I have work I could do until she wakes up, but she’s snuggled up next to me, and this bed is warm. Besides, no work today, or this weekend. I have to find a balance, and I feel like I need this time with her. Like we both need it.
We’re lying on our sides, face-to-face, the dim light of the morning peeking through the blinds. She’s peaceful and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I’ve heard of the “pregnancy glow” but never thought much about it. I take that back. I thought people who claimed it was a real thing were a few fries short of a Happy Meal. That’s until my wife became pregnant. She really does have this… glow about her, and that’s the best way I can explain it. I never thought of pregnancy as a turn-on, but when it comes to Winnie, it’s exactly that. Her body is changing as our baby girl grows and it’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. To know a part of me is growing inside her… it’s a definite aphrodisiac.
Reaching out, I push her long silky strands out of her face, and her eyes flutter open. “Morning, beautiful,” I whisper.
“What time is it?” she asks, her long lashes fluttering against her cheeks.
“Around seven.”
Her eyes spring open. “Why aren’t you at work? Is something wrong?”
“No, baby.” I cup her face in the palm of my hand. “Today is our day. I wanted to spend the day with you.”
“You don’t have to do that. I know how busy you are.”
“That’s exactly why I want to do this. I know I don’t have to. I want to. I miss you. I feel like we’ve been distant the past couple of weeks.”
“Crazy time of year.”
She’s right; the holidays are always a busy time of year, but it’s more than that. I can feel it. “Yeah,” I agree, not wanting to dig too far into anything just yet. “What do you want to do today? Anything you want.” My hand that was cradling her cheek falls to her hip. I give it a gentle squeeze and then move in closer, aligning my body with hers. “It’s hard to believe that in just four short weeks, or maybe even sooner we get to meet her,” I say, moving my hand to gently rub over her belly. “How long do we have to wait to have another one?” I ask her. She’s sexy as fuck.
“Right,” she scoffs.
“Hey, what’s that about?” I ask.
She closes her eyes and expels a heavy breath. “Nothing, just tired.”
“You slept for over nine hours. What’s going on, Winnie?”
“You can’t be serious, Harrison. Look at me. I’m huge. My ankles are swollen, at least that’s what Gabby told me. I can’t see them. My boobs are swollen and tender. I waddle when I walk, and I’ve gained so much weight,” she says, looking up at the ceiling.
“Look at me.” I wait for her to pull her eyes from the ceiling. “Gwendolyn, look at me,” I say again. This time, she slowly focuses her gaze on me, and there are tears in her eyes. “I’m dead fucking serious.” My words are crisp and clear.
“Don’t cuss around the baby,” she scolds as a tear falls over her cheek.
“Then don’t say things that make me cuss. How could you think that I’m anything other than serious? I can’t keep my hands off you. As of a few weeks ago, you couldn’t keep your hands off me. What’s changed?”
“Nothing. I just— I don’t feel sexy.” She pulls the cover up to her neck.
“Nope,” I say, tugging it back down. “Let me show you.”
“Harrison, we should go have breakfast.”
“Oh, I intend to,” I assure her. I place a gentle kiss to her lips before sliding down the bed. “Open for me.” I tap her knee.
“Harrison, no. You don’t have to do this.”
I raise up on my knees so she can see me over her belly. “I want to do this, Winnie. It’s been weeks since I’ve tasted you. I won’t do anything you don’t want, but I know you want it just as bad as I do.”
“Maybe tonight,” she counters, reaching for the covers.
“No. Fuck that. I want you now.” I slide my hand up her thigh and don’t stop until I reach her pussy. With my index finger, I trace her slit over her panties. She’s soaking wet. “You want me,” I tell her. “Lift your hips, baby.”
“Harris—” Immediately she stops her protest when my fingers dip below her panties and push inside her.
“Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop.” I gently pump my finger once, twice, three times before she lifts her hips. I make quick work of withdrawing, which causes her to whine. Grabbing either side of her panties, I pull them down her legs and toss them to the side. “Winnie,” I say, running my fingers through her folds.
“Hmm?”
“Hold on to the mattress.” I drop to my belly on the mattress and seal my mouth over her. She writhes underneath me, which fuels me on. I suck her clit into my mouth, tracing small circles with my tongue. Careful not to hurt her or the baby, I add one digit, then slowly as she draws closer to her orgasm, add another.
“Don’t stop,” she begs.
I don’t bother with a reply. Instead, I pump my fingers a little faster, and swirl her clit with my tongue. Her walls tighten around me, and I know she’s close. She gets tired easily these days, and I know getting another one out of her will exhaust her beyond measure. Pulling my fingers out, I climb to my knees. Wiping my mouth with the back of my arm, I align my throbbing cock at her entrance and push inside.
“Oh my God,” she moans.
“I missed this,” I say between thrusts. If you would have told me six months ago that fucking my pregnant wife was an aphrodisiac, I would have laughed in your face. Staring down at her, her belly between us, I feel my orgasm start to build. “I’m close, baby,” I tell her, moving my hand between us and stroking her clit.
Her head moves from side to side, and her grip on the sheets is solid. I feel the moment she lets go, her body squeezing the hell out of my cock. I try to hold on, but I can’t. With one final thrust, I release inside her. Pulse after pulse until I’m sated. I lie down next to her and pull her into my arms. I kiss the top of her head, and cradle one arm around her, the other resting on her belly.
“That is how we should start every day,” I tell her.
“Mmm,” she hums her agreement. I hold her, not wanting to let go, not wanting to lose this connection. Eventually, she looks up at me. “I need a shower.”
“No, you go ahead. I’ll go next.”
“Why not together?” I pout. Even my voice sounds like a child who was just told they couldn’t go to a friend’s house. I’m not ready to let her out of my sight just yet.
“It’s a tight fit.”
“We’ll make it work.”
“No, really it’s fine. You go ahead.”
“Winnie, don’t make me carry you into the bathroom.”
“You can’t do that! I weigh too much.”
“What? Are you fucking kidding me right now? You weigh nothing. You’re all baby.” To prove my point, I climb out of bed and lift her into my arms.
“Harrison! Put me down. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Stop.” My voice is hard. “Enough of that shit, you hear me?” I get a subtle nod. I continue carrying her into the bathroom and set her on the counter. “Don’t move,” I say, pointing at her. I rush to turn the water on, then turn back to her. “Arms up.” She doesn’t fight me, but she’s hesitant before she finally lifts her arms and allows me to remove her nightshirt. I rake my eyes over her. “Do they hurt?” I ask, tenderly tracing the swell of her swollen breasts with my finger. Bending down, I softly place my lips on the H tattoo.
“Sometimes. They’re sensitive,” she confesses softly.
I lift them, one breast in each hand, testing their weight. I feel wetness on my hand. Pulling my eyes from her breasts, I see she’s blushing. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“For what?”
“That.” She nods toward my now wet hand.
“It’s natural, right? I mean, I read that this could happen. That’s how you’re going to feed and nurture our baby girl. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“It’s sexy.”
“Right. Come on, Harrison, don’t play games with me. Not after all we’ve been through.”
“How am I playing games with you? I mean it. It’s sexy to me. You’re sexy to me.”
“The water’s going to get cold,” she says, gazing off toward the shower.
I nod, knowing when to push and now isn’t the time. I help her off the counter, leading her into the shower. I take my time, washing every inch of her body. I’ve read that some women have body issues during pregnancy, but I never thought that would be Winnie. She’s fucking gorgeous, and I don’t know how to make her see that. Maybe I should call Dr. Taylor and see if she has any tips for me.
Once I’m finished with her body, I move on to her hair. As soon as the suds are rinsed away, she climbs out, claiming she wants to get started on breakfast, while I quickly shower. Five minutes later, I find her in the kitchen, towel wrapped around her head, and a bathrobe on. “I need to go to the store,” she says, peering into the refrigerator.
“We can do that today if you want. How about an egg and cheese sandwich?” I ask, looking over her shoulder.
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Did you test your sugar?” I ask her.
“Yes, dad,” she says and I can hear the roll of her eyes.
“Hey,” I lean in and kiss her neck. “I’m just taking care of my girls.”
“I know,” she sighs.
“You go get dressed. I’ll take care of breakfast.”
She nods and heads for the stairs. “Winnie,” I call out for her. She stops and turns to face me. “I love you.”
Her eyes soften. “I love you too.” She turns back around and slowly ascends the stairs.
“Thank you for breakfast.”
“You’re welcome. I have a surprise for you.”
“I thought spending the day with me was my surprise?”
“Well, then I have two surprises for you.”
“Gimme,” she says, setting her bottle of water on the table.
I throw my head back and laugh. “Come with me.” I stand from the table and offer her my hand. Slowly, I guide her upstairs. We stop just outside the room next to ours. The one we chose for the nursery.
“What? I get to see it?” she asks.
I had asked her to let me take care of the room, and to not peek until it was ready. “It’s ready.”
“How? You’ve been working so many hours, and I’m home when you’re home.”
“Well, you’ve been crashing early the last few weeks. I’ve been sneaking out of bed at night to work on it. It’s finally done. Just in time to bring home all her gifts from the shower tomorrow. You can start your nesting.” I kiss her nose.
“You and this nesting business. Do you believe everything you read?” she asks.
“When it’s in those baby books, yes. I have nothing else to go on here.”
She smiles up at me. “You’re going to be such a great daddy.”
“We’ve got this, Mommy. Now, close your eyes.” She does as I ask. I open the door and guide her into the room slowly. “Open,” I whisper, my lips next to her ear. I pull back and watch as her eyes flutter open and well with tears as she takes in the room around her.
The walls are painted a light gray, which stands out nicely with the white trim and white furniture. I picked up a few canvas prints that are pink, white, and gray that stick with our elephant theme. The bedding we bought is placed in the crib along with a new pink-and-gray stuffed elephant. The rug is in the center of the room, and the lamp is on a side table next to the white rocking chair, with gray cushions. Our daughter’s crib sits on the opposite side of the room, and wooden letters, that I personally hand painted pink, are hung on the wall with white ribbons spelling out her name.
Sophia.
I watch Winnie as she slowly turns in a circle taking it all in. I know the exact moment she sees it. Her battle with tears is lost as one slides down her cheek. “When did you—” She swallows hard. “When did you take that?”
I know she’s referring to the black-and-white picture I framed and set on the dresser. It’s next to another black-and-white picture of the two of us that Gabby took one night when she was over. I’d handed her my phone, and she’d snapped a few. The one on the dresser is my favorite. We’re standing side by side, arms around each other. Winnie is looking at Gabby, giving her a beautiful smile. I’m looking at Winnie. The other one is a picture I took of her a couple of weeks ago. She was sitting on the bed, her nightshirt pulled up, rubbing lotion on her belly and talking to our daughter. I snuck up on her and took the picture. Her hands are resting on her bump, and there is a smile playing on her lips.
“A couple of weeks ago.”
“Why would you put that in here?” She turns to face me.
“Because she needs to know how much we love her.”
“But that picture of me, it’s… I don’t want her to remember me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Big and fat,” she says, her voice breaking on a sob.
Taking her hand, I guide us to the rocking chair and sit, pulling her onto my lap. “Tell me what’s going on, Winnie. What’s going through that beautiful head of yours?”
“Nothing.” She sniffs, but I know better.
“Tell me, baby. I’m right here,” I say, wrapping my arms around her and resting my hands on her belly.
“I know, okay. I know what you told Chase.”
“I tell Chase lots of things. You care to enlighten me?” I ask.
“About me being fat, gaining too much weight.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? I’ve never said those words a day in my life. Who told you that?”
“You can tell me, Harrison. It’s fine. I get it. My body’s changed.”
“Yes. Your body has changed, but it’s because of our baby girl. You’re beautiful to me, Winnie.” She starts to speak, but I place my finger over her lips. “I can’t keep my hands off you, baby. You being pregnant with our daughter is a huge turn-on.” I take a deep breath, bracing myself for what I’m pretty sure I already know. The timeline adds up. “Who to
ld you that?”
“Gina.”
“When?”
“That day we had lunch at the Twist of Lime. She said she overheard you talking to Chase about all the weight I’ve gained.”
Fury. I’m not even sure fury describes the rage I’m feeling toward Gina at this moment. “Look at me,” I say gently, which is a contrast to the storm brewing within me. “I’ve never said those words. Never even thought them. You are gorgeous to me, inside and out. I’ll never think anything different. Tell me you believe me.”
She nods.
“I need to hear you say it, Winnie. I need your words.”
“I believe you. These past few weeks have been so hard,” she cries. “You make me feel so loved and so special, but then in the back of my mind, I wondered if you were just saying that because you thought that’s what I needed to hear. I was so confused, and I missed you.”
“I missed you too. I felt the distance, but I was trying to give you space. I know I’ve been a caveman when it comes to your eating and exercise, but, baby, it’s not because of how you look or the number when you step on the scale. It’s the diabetes. I want you and baby Sophia to be healthy. I don’t know how else to help you through this. I’m sorry if my actions made you think otherwise.”
“I’m sorry too. I should have confronted you. No, I shouldn’t have believed her. I know that’s not the kind of man you are. We’ve been through so much, and I was already feeling self-conscious about the weight.”
“Don’t. You’re perfect.” I kiss her lips and rest my forehead on her shoulder. I think about the last two weeks. Her keeping her body covered, not wanting to make love unless it was in the dark of night. I should have caught on sooner.
Fucking Gina.
“Baby, I know I said no work today, but I have to make a phone call. You want to sit in here for a while?” We stand, and she takes my seat on the rocker.
“Yeah, wait.” She pulls on my arm. “What are you doing?”
“Firing her,” I grit out.
“No, I don’t want her to lose her job.”
Fair Lakes Series Box Set Page 21