I’ve got nothing.
Zero.
Zilch.
Nada.
No explanation. Just the want and the need to be around her. That’s why I’m standing outside her door, hand raised to knock. Mom called and invited Milo and me over for dinner. She insisted I pass the invitation on to Hollis as well. I half-heartedly put up a fight before giving in and promising I would invite her.
Taking a deep breath, I rap my knuckles lightly on her door. One, two, three, four heartbeats pass before she pulls the door open to greet me.
“Hey, Colton.”
“Hey, uh, do you have any plans tonight?” I manage to get the words out without swallowing my tongue. She’s wearing a pair of those tight leggings things that all the women are into, and that all men appreciate. And a sweater that hangs off her shoulder, with some kind of other shirt, looks like a tank top with really thin straps underneath. Her face is void of makeup, and her hair is pulled back in a ponytail. To sum her up in a word, fucking beautiful. Okay, that was two words, but you get the idea.
“No. I was just going to do some laundry.”
“Well, my parents are having dinner. Chase and Gabby will be there. They've invited you to come.” I want you to come. In more ways than one.
“I don’t want to impose.”
“You won’t be. In fact, my mother insisted I not show up unless you’re with me. They want to meet you.”
Her brow furrows. “I don’t know.”
“Milo wants you to come.” I’m aware of how desperate I sound right now.
She smiles, and it sets my world on fire. “Oh, Milo wants me to come?” She crosses her arms over her chest and leans against the doorframe.
“That’s what he said. Told me not to come back to the living room unless you had agreed to go.”
She shakes her head in amusement. “What time?”
“We’re leaving here at five.” She turns her head. I’m assuming to look at the clock. It’s four now, so that gives her an hour to get ready.
“What should I wear?” The crack in her voice tells me she’s nervous.
“You look perfect. What you have on is fine,” I rush to add.
“Are you sure? This is just for lounging.”
Lounging is sexy on you. “Yes. It’s informal. In fact, I’m almost positive Gabby will be wearing something similar.” I don’t know that, but I’ve seen her in similar items in the past. I want Hollis to feel comfortable.
“Are you sure they won’t mind?”
“Positive. Besides, my parents would never tell Milo no.” I wink, and she chuckles.
“Okay. Do you want to give me the address?”
“Why?”
“I thought I could meet you there.”
No. That won’t do. “We leave at five. I’m driving.” I take a step back from her door. “I’m going to get Milo’s bag packed.”
“You sure about this, Colton?”
I don’t know why she’s so worried, but I give her my most charming smile to try and ease her fears. “Trust me, you’re doing me a favor. My mom would complain all night that I didn’t do enough to make you feel welcome. She wants to meet you. I’m guessing because you’re a stranger living with her son and grandson.”
“Technically, I’m renting.”
“You know what I mean.”
She nods. “I’ll be ready.”
“Just come on over when you are. Don’t bother knocking or whatever.”
Another nod. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I repeat, because I’m not ready to leave her yet. I realize I’m standing here looking like a creeper, so I give her an awkward wave and flee to the kitchen. Has my time in the service really hurt my game that much? Is it because I’m a father now? I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. Never in my life has a woman made me tongue-tied or nervous. I have an hour to get my head in the game. Otherwise, there will be no hiding this attraction I have for my new tenant.
An hour later, I have the diaper bag packed to the gills, with everything extra that Milo might need. He’s strapped into his car seat and smiling up at me as I rock it back and forth on the kitchen table.
“Hey.” The sweet sound of Hollis’s voice greets me.
“Hi.” I smile, looking over my shoulder at her. “You ready?”
She looks down at herself then back up at me. “Yes.” She’s still wearing the leggings, but instead of the off-the-shoulder sweater showing her soft creamy skin, she’s wearing another sweater that covers her. It’s probably for the best. I would have spent the entire night in a trance. Thinking about tracing that bare shoulder with my tongue. Then again, I still might.
“All right, I think we’re good. You ready, buddy?” I ask my son. He smiles up at me and kicks his legs. “Let’s get you covered up.” I grab the soft baby blue blanket and place it over him, making sure his face and head are covered. His little hands and legs squirm as he tries to pull it off. This is a game I play with him, hiding behind the blanket, peekaboo of sorts. I might want to rethink that now the weather is getting colder.
I pull the blanket off and say boo in my non-scary, silly dad’s voice, and he laughs. His little laugh warms my heart. “You have to keep this on, you little stinker. It’s getting cold outside, and Daddy doesn’t want you to get sick.” I place the blanket back on him, tucking it in around him, and lift his seat into my arms. I throw the diaper bag over my shoulder and check to make sure I have my phone. Good to go, I look up to find Hollis watching me intently.
“You have this single-dad thing down.”
“It’s all an act,” I tell her as we make our way out to my truck. “It’s more of a ‘fake it until you make it’ kind of situation.”
“I don’t see that at all.”
“No? I’m a better actor than I thought.”
“Stop.”
I load Milo into the truck and pull the blanket back from over his head, his eyes are already getting droopy. My boy can’t resist a ride, puts him to sleep every time. “Really,” I say once I’m behind the wheel of my truck. “I’m constantly worrying if I’m doing enough, taking good enough care of him. I don’t want to mess him up, you know?”
“First of all, that’s absurd. Do you love him?”
“Of course I do. What kind of question is that?”
“Sorry, it wasn’t meant to sound bad. What I mean is that you love him. It shows through with everything that you do. The way you hold him, the way you talk to him, the way you take care of him. No one is perfect, Colton. But at the end of the day, if you’ve done your best and you can say without a shadow of a doubt that he knows you love him, I’d say, you, sir, will have passed with flying colors as a father.” My chest inflates from her praise. I’m learning as I go, going at this mostly on my own, and it’s nice to know that someone outside my family can see that I’m trying and that I love my son with everything in me.
“I hope you’re right. It’s not just being a single father, but it’s molding back into civilian life. I graduated and enlisted. That’s been my life. Short visits home, then back into the barracks, or the field. I feel so… out of place. That’s really the best way that I can explain it.”
“I can imagine that would be hard for you.”
I nod. “Yeah, my brothers, those not by blood, but by duty, they were my closest allies. They’re all still enlisted, fighting and standing tall without me. Sorry, I don’t mean to drop all of this on you.”
“You have to talk to someone. It might as well be a stranger.”
“I’d hardly call us strangers.” She’s consumed my life for the last week that she feels like anything but a stranger to me at this point.
“We’re more strangers than friends, maybe acquaintances.”
Glancing over, I see she’s staring out the passenger-side window. She looks sad, lost in her own thoughts. I reach over and place my hand on her arm, returning my eyes back to the road. “We should fix that.” Sure, it’s selfish of me to offer an olive
branch of friendship, but something tells me she needs it just as much, if not more than I do.
She glances over and offers me a shy smile. “Yeah. I think I’d like that,” she agrees as we pull into my parents’ driveway. “I’ll help,” she says once the truck is parked. She climbs out and opens the back door, reaching in to grab the diaper bag.
I make sure the blanket is tucked in close around Milo as he slumbers in his seat, and we head inside. I don’t bother knocking. I grew up here, and Mom would give me all kinds of hell for knocking. She and Dad have always made sure we know that this is our home, no matter how old we are. I want Milo to have that same reassurance.
“There’s my nephew,” Chase greets, reaching for the car seat and taking off toward the living room.
“He seems really attached to him. That’s great that he’s so involved.”
“Yeah, but there’s a story there.”
“Oh, I’d love to hear more of it sometime.”
I nod. “I’ll give you all the gory details. Actually, it’s pretty cut and dried, but I don’t want to get into it right now.”
“I didn’t mean to pry.”
“You didn’t. However, my mom and Gabby are about two point five seconds from stealing you away from me. We can talk later?”
“Hollis. It’s good to see you,” Gabby says, walking into the foyer. She leans in and hugs Hollis, and then me. “Come on.” She grabs Hollis’s hand. “I’ll introduce you to Connie and Wes.”
“He’s snoozing,” Chase says when I join him and Dad in the living room. He has Milo resting on his chest with his blanket snuggled around him.
“He took a pretty good nap earlier this afternoon, so he shouldn’t sleep long. In fact, don’t let him, that way he will sleep tonight.”
“Is he still sleeping all night?”
“For the most part. There’s a night here or there that he’ll wake up hungry. I give him a bottle, and then he goes right back to sleep.”
“You’re welcome.” Chase gives me a cheesy grin.
“Thank you, Chase.” He’s kidding, but I’ve never been more serious. I don’t know what I would have done if Chase and Gabby had not looked after my son when they did.
“I’m going to need a sitter one day soon.” He winks.
“How about you leave both of the crumb snatchers with me and your mother, and you boys have a good time?” Dad offers.
“Mine’s not here yet. I can’t wait until we find out what we’re having.”
“Did Gabby finally decide to not keep us all in suspense?” I ask him.
“Yeah, she said she could wait, but nine months is a long damn time to wonder.”
“But it’s one of the true miracle surprises in life,” Dad comments.
“Did you know we were both going to be boys?” Chase asks.
“Yep.” Dad chuckles.
“Come and get it!” Mom calls out.
“Want me to take him?” I ask Chase.
“No. My time is limited. Once Grandma and Aunt Gabby get their hands on him, my time will be over.”
“You’re not getting out of this house until we’ve all had a turn,” Dad says, pointing at me. “This one,” he points at Chase, “is a baby hog.”
“Soon, there will be another, so more baby love to go around,” I remind him.
“Right. Like that’s going to make a difference. Until we have one for each of us, it’s going to be a battle.”
“Hold up, old man. You’re rushing that a little, don’t you think? Milo and I are flying solo.”
“Are you?” he asks, giving me a knowing look.
“Yes. Now let’s go eat before Mom comes in here and hits us all over the head with a frying pan.”
“I heard that.” Mom laughs as we enter the kitchen. “Make your plates and give me that baby.” She walks over to Chase with her arms out, ready to steal Milo.
“Fine,” he grumbles, kissing my son's fuzzy head before passing him over. “Hollis, good to see you,” he greets her.
“Hi, Chase.” She gives him a kind smile.
“Colt, can you show Hollis the refrigerator in the garage where all the drinks are?”
“Follow me,” I tell Hollis. “Sorry about that. I know my family can be overwhelming.”
“Not at all. It’s obvious how close you all are.”
“It was like this all the time growing up. I was a little worried about the dynamic when I decided to leave the service. However, I should have known better. It was always fine when I was home on leave, but that’s a week or so, not permanent.”
“I can see how you would worry, but not with your family. They’re great, Colton, really.”
“What about your family? Do you have any local?”
“No. Just me.” As she says this, something flashes in her eyes. Her body language tells me she doesn’t want to talk about it. I’ll leave it alone. For now.
“What would you like to drink?” I open the refrigerator door, and as always, Mom has it stocked with anything and everything you could imagine.
“Is that bottled root beer?” She leans in to get a better look, and I get a whiff of her perfume. I can’t place it, but it smells damn good.
“Yes. Chase and I loved drinking these when we were kids. I didn’t even know they made it anymore. Want one?” I ask her, grabbing one for myself.
“Yes, please.”
I reach in and grab another before shutting the door. “After you,” I say, nodding toward the door. Everyone is standing around the island, filling their plates with Mom’s pot roast. The conversation is flowing, and it’s taking a lot of effort to keep my cool when it comes to Hollis.
“What? You didn’t get us drinks?” Chase asks.
“You’re a big boy. Besides, Mom told me to show Hollis, not to wait on you.”
“I tell you. It doesn’t matter how old they get, they still bicker like ten-year olds.” Mom smiles fondly, shaking her head.
“He started it.” Chase points to me and sticks out his tongue, making us all laugh.
“Is this what I have to look forward to?” Gabby asks.
“If you have more than one, yes,” Mom answers.
“Let’s see how we do with this one.” Gabby rubs her small baby bump, wearing a smile.
“So, Hollis, tell us about you. What do you do?” Dad asks her.
“Here we go,” I mutter. “You don’t have to answer.”
“I don’t mind. I’m in graphic design. I do websites and company branding mostly. I work independently since it’s all electronic.”
“You kids and these computers, I tell you. I can’t keep up.”
“Mom, you sound like you’re eighty,” Chase jokes.
“I can do what needs to be done, but that design stuff, I don’t know how you do it.”
“You’re not supposed to, dear. We’ll leave all that high-tech stuff to the offspring. We just need to worry about spoiling those grandbabies of ours,” Dad says.
The night couldn’t be better. Hollis fits right in as if she’s been a member of my family for a lifetime. I admit as I sit here, listening to her and Gabby talk to Mom about Gabby’s baby shower, I wonder what it would be like if she were mine. What if she was more than just a tenant or a friend? I can see us here for Mom’s monthly dinners and at home together with Milo. I can see it all, and I confess, it’s enticing.
“Thank you for tonight,” Hollis says when we are in my truck and heading home. “Your family is great.”
I glance over and catch her watching me. The cab of the truck is dark, but from the glow of the dash, I can see her smile. I can’t seem to keep my own from pulling at my lips just because she’s happy. “I told you that you had nothing to worry about.”
“You were right.”
“Wait, can you write that down for me? I might need it for future reference.”
“Oh, hush.” She pushes on my arm, and we both laugh. “Truly, you have a great family. You’re lucky to have them.”
“I c
ouldn’t agree with you more. When you’re ready to talk about yours, I’m all ears.”
“Thank you, but there’s not really much to tell.” Her reply is soft, and from my glance to the passenger seat, I know her smile has faded. Luckily, we’re at home. So I do the mature thing and pretend like I never brought it up.
“I need to get him in bed. Stick around?” I ask. “I have some beer in the fridge. I can tell you about his mom.”
“Colton, you don’t have to do that. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to. I think you’re right. It will do me some good to talk about it with someone who’s not family.” I also hope that by opening up to her, not only does she get to know me better, but maybe, just maybe, she’ll feel comfortable enough to open up to me. When she’s ready.
I grab Milo, and she takes the diaper bag. I can’t help but think that this is how life would be if I had done things in the right order. Or even had a baby momma who wanted to be a momma. I don’t hold that against Laura. In fact, I’m glad she did what she did. She got Milo to family. I don’t agree with her just leaving him on the doorstep and then driving off. How did she know Chase—or, more specifically, I—would take care of him? That part still bothers me, but the fact that she gave him up? Well, I commend her for that. If she knew without a doubt that motherhood was not for her, I think what she did was brave and selfless. It gave Milo the chance to grow up in a home where all he knows is love. I’ll make damn sure that happens.
“I’m just going to change him into some pajamas and give him a bottle. Help yourself to whatever.”
“I think I’m going to go change.”
“Okay.” I lift Milo from his seat and head to his room. In my mind, I’m picturing her stripping out of her clothes, with my help. I have to stop this. I can’t think about her getting naked, just down the hall. I also hope that whatever she decides to change into covers her. I don’t know if I have the willpower to sit next to her in some kind of skimpy lingerie. In fact, I know that I don’t.
Fair Lakes Series Box Set Page 59