Slowly, I turn and face the man I find myself falling for a little more every day. There’s a mix of emotions swept up in those blue eyes. Hurt. Fear. Resolve. And maybe even a little of that love I find myself experiencing. It’s the same look he gave me last night when he was sinking inside me, the muscles in his neck tight with tension and the lines around his eyes soft. It’s the same look he probably sees in my own eyes after he kisses me goodnight.
Something he may never do again after we talk.
It’s like he knows I’m on the verge of losing it. Colton leans over and takes my cheek in his big hand. He leans forward and places his lips gently against mine. The kiss is soft, yet full of meaning. He’s letting me know he’s beside me, ready to figure this out. That he’s not letting me go.
At least not yet.
“Come on, I have a few things to set up for the class,” he says, sliding his full lips along mine one final time before he slips out of the driver’s seat. His first stop is to release the latch on Milo’s car seat. He throws the blanket over the top of the handle to protect him from the elements, and before I can even shut the passenger door, he’s there, taking my hand in his and leading me to the gym.
Inside, the music is pumping, and the echo of weights clanking fills the hallway. We used the back entrance so we can slip inside the room Harrison designated for the kids. It’s warm and bright, the lights already turned on in a welcome fashion. Colton sets the car seat down and pulls off the blanket. We’re greeted with a smiley, toothless Milo, who seems to have enjoyed his catnap. He instantly starts to babble, and even grins ear to ear the moment his dad unhooks the buckles and picks him up.
“Hey, little buddy, I’m going to work for a couple hours. You’re going to play in here with Hollis.” Milo’s eyes instantly turn to me as if he knew exactly what his dad was saying. In fact, he reaches for me at that moment, and I swear my heart is going to leap from my chest. It’s a mixture of elation and love for the little guy, and as I snuggle his little body into my chest, more tears fill my eyes.
Colton pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead. “We’ll figure this out, Hollis. I promise,” he whispers. He kisses my lips once more before bending down and kissing Milo’s forehead. “I’ll be in the large matted room if you need me, or Gabby and Chase are floating around here, okay?”
I nod, unable to form words. Colton hesitates, but it doesn’t really seem like it’s because he’s leaving me with his son. It has more of a protective way about it, as if he doesn’t want to leave me, period.
When the door closes, I glance around and take in the room. It’s exactly as Colton said, and exactly as I’d expect from a man like Harrison Drake. I can’t imagine too many guys have an office set up for the owner’s kids, but this one does, and it says a lot about the guy who runs this place. A lot about Chase and Colton too.
I pull an activity mat from the shelf and set it out on the floor. The moment I lay Milo down, he starts kicking and reaching for the animals that dangle. Each one makes a noise, which seems to keep him entertained, at least for now. I take a seat on the floor next to him. Sure, I could sit on the couch, but I’d rather be close to him. I’m not exactly sure how this talk is going to go tonight, so I’d rather soak up as much of his sweet smiles and scents while I can.
Just in case.
I spend the afternoon playing with the baby. We have a quick snack and diaper change, and he goes right back to playing. He’s currently sitting in a Bumpo seat, trying to eat a cold teether, his little gums gnawing on the plastic as if it were his job. It seems to bring him a little relief, though, so I don’t care. Even if his shirt is completely soaked with slobber. I’d gladly change his outfit four more times if it meant he was happy and content.
The door behind me opens. I expect to see Colton there but am pleasantly surprised to find Gabby at the entrance. “Hey,” she whispers, instantly smiling when she sees her nephew sitting on the floor. “He’s sitting up,” she observes.
“I hope it’s okay. I saw the Bumpo seat along the wall and thought he might like to try it. I’m right here and watching him closely to make sure nothing happens to him,” I tell her, my heart starting to pound in my chest. I guess I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be sitting up or not in this thing, but I’ve seen him sit on the couch with Colton before, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt anything.
Gabby waves her hand. “Oh, it’s fine. He’s the perfect age for it,” she observes, that smile still on her pretty face. Her belly is getting bigger every time I see her, but that doesn’t stop her from coming over and squatting beside Milo. “Hey, little man. How are you?”
Milo grins at his aunt, waving his teether in her direction.
“Aww, I heard those nasty toothies are being mean to you,” she coos in a voice meant for babies. Gabby takes a seat on the opposite side of him and helps hold the teething toy. The baby continues to chomp on it, big wads of drool hanging from his chin.
I reach for the cloth and wipe his face, which irritates him a little, but he keeps moving that toy against his gums. “He’s having a tough time with that first tooth, aren’t you, buddy?” I say, the smile instantaneous on my lips.
“He seems to be doing better today,” she notices.
“He had a dose of Tylenol before we left, so he’s feeling better right now.” When I glance up, she’s staring at me, the hint of a smile on her face. “What?” I ask.
Gabby smiles even wider now. “Nothing. Well, it’s just you look… different.”
Feeling a little uncomfortable under the sister-in-law microscope, I chuckle awkwardly and ask, “Different how?”
“Not bad,” she quickly replies. “It’s kinda hard to put into words, but I guess I’d say you look… happy.” She takes a long pause before she adds, “Colt too.”
Those stupid tears that seem to never want to stop today prickle my eyeballs and make me blink unnaturally. “I don’t know about that.” I avoid eye contact and fuss over Milo’s bib, making sure it’s absorbing as much of his drool as possible.
“I do,” she says, drawing my attention back to her. “Colt, when he came home, he was sort of lost. He was thrust into this new life he didn’t expect, and it was really hard on him. He hid it well, but we could see it. He was a career military man, and all of a sudden, he was a single dad and working a nine-to-five. Now, don’t get me wrong, he’s amazing with Milo, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a hard adjustment for him.”
“I couldn’t imagine,” I tell her, knowing he had a tough transition. I am so thankful he had his family to help him. It makes my own chest fill with longing for my own family. My dad passed away when I was a young girl, and my mom moved to Florida a few years back. She works for the Hilton Hotels and Resorts and was offered a job overseeing a region in sunny Florida. It was a great opportunity for her, and you can’t beat the weather.
“My point is, he’s different recently. He smiles more and seems to be eager to leave the gym and head home. I think it has a lot to do with you,” she says, that knowing look in her eyes.
I’m saved from having to reply just yet when Milo decides he’s had enough sitting. He hollers his displeasure and brings on the waterworks.
“Oh, Milo,” Gabby sings, glancing over at me. “Do you mind?”
“Of course not. He’s your nephew. I’m just the sitter,” I tell her, swallowing over the thickness in my throat. Just saying that, making light of what Colt and I share as if I’m nothing more than someone who watches the baby, doesn’t sit well with me, because we’ve become so much more than that.
At least it feels like we have.
“Come to Auntie Gabs,” she coos, picking up the squirmy baby. Milo gazes up at her, but the tears continue to fall. He rubs his eyes, letting us know he’s getting sleepy again. She takes him over to the changing table, grabbing a diaper on her way, and sets out to change his pants. I grab a bottle of water and the formula from the bag and mix up his next meal.
When she heads my way
, Milo is still not happy, even with clean britches. She heads over to the rocking chair and takes a seat. I hand her the bottle right away, which she places in his mouth. He drinks for a few seconds, but then spits it out and cries. Gabby rocks gently, trying to get Milo to settle down, but he’s just not having it.
I’m on the other side of the room, trying to keep quiet so he can fall asleep, but the whole time, my heart is screaming at me to go to him. To hold him. To comfort him.
“He’s not a happy little boy,” she says, her eyes holding just the slightest hint of worry.
“No, those teeth are really bothering him,” I say.
The moment Milo hears my voice, he turns and looks for me. He’s fussing more, his hands reaching out blindly. He’s reaching… for me. Gabby seems to realize it at the same time I do and offers me a smile. She carefully sits up, holding Milo to her chest as she does, and meets me in the middle of the room. He turns, his hands extended for me. The moment he’s against my chest, he snuggles in, his cheek resting just over my heart.
“Awww, he just wanted you,” she whispers as I rub his back.
“We uh, we snuggle a lot at home.”
Gabby smiles. “I think that’s great,” she adds, popping his pacifier in his mouth and rubbing his arm.
The silence extends for several long minutes as Milo’s eyes finally start to droop. I bounce lightly, swaying back and forth as he drifts off to sleep. Ignoring the burn in my arms, I hold him against my chest and hum a song. I can’t sing the way his dad can, but I can at least hum a little tune to give him a sense of normalcy.
“Look at you. He’s out,” she says.
“He’s had a long day,” I tell her, my heart soaring with happiness as I hold him in my arms.
“He’s not the only one.” Her observation strikes a little too close to home as I gaze down at the wonder in my arms.
“It was a long night, but Colton was able to catch a catnap today. Tonight should be better,” I whisper.
I can feel her eyes on me. “That’s not exactly what I meant.”
My heart pounds fast and furious in my chest.
“I’m not sure what’s going on, but I can tell something is bothering you. You don’t have to tell me, but if you ever need a friend, I’m here. I’m sure it’s not easy moving to a new town and not knowing anyone.” Gabby shrugs. “All I’m saying is if you want to talk, I’ll listen. And I promise not to tell Chase. Whatever you say stays between us.”
Again with the damn tears.
Movement catches out of the corner of my eye, and we both turn to find Colton and Chase in the hallway. They’re standing in front of the window, chatting and watching us. Colton’s eyes drop to his son and then back to my face, the softest smile on his full lips.
I glance over at Gabby, who’s smiling like the cat that ate the canary. “Thank you for the offer,” I tell her, “but I’d never expect you to keep anything from Chase. I wouldn’t want to put you in any position that you can’t talk to him.”
“Well, if it involves Colt or his family and it’s alarming, I’d probably have to tell Chase, but if it’s good, you know… like he gave you four Os last night and you’re still not walking right, well, that would totally be between us girls.” Then she giggles.
I giggle.
And feel lighter than I have since that notification appeared on my phone.
I have a friend. Yes, I have Tina, but she’s a call or a text away. Gabby is standing in front of me, offering me something I’ve been desperate to find since my life was turned upside down. Yes, I found something similar with Colton, yet that’s completely different. With Colton, I found solace and passion with his friendship. Gabby is offering comradery and a sense of belonging. Girlfriends.
“Thank you,” I whisper, trying not to wake the baby, but also because it’s the only word I can choke out over the lump in my throat. She wraps her arms around me and hugs tightly just as the door opens.
“Everything okay?” Chase asks, instantly alarmed.
“Everything is just fine, Mr. Callahan,” she barks as she releases me with a wink.
Chase instantly pulls his wife into his arms, hugging her close and rubbing a hand over the belly. “Ready to go home?”
“Yep. I’m starving,” she says, heading over to pick up the few things I got out for Milo.
“I can grab that stuff,” I insist, swaying with Milo against my chest.
Gabby waves me off. “There’s like two things.”
Chase helps bag up the garbage, which only consisted of a diaper and a few wipes, and takes it to the door. I can feel Colton’s presence beside me, but I don’t look his way. I keep my eyes trained on the sleeping baby in my arms. I catch a whiff of sweat and detergent as he bends down and kisses his son’s forehead, rubbing a big hand over the fuzzy top of his head. Our eyes meet for only a second, but a thousand words pass in that time. He places his hand on my lower back and bends down to kiss me on the forehead too. My heart dances in my chest with elation, knowing he still feels the same as before.
At least for now.
Until I tell him what’s going on.
And then he may ask me to leave.
Chase and Gabby seem oblivious to the war raging inside me. They both kiss Milo’s sleeping head before heading to the door, hand-in-hand. “See you tomorrow,” Chase says to his older brother before exiting the room, leaving us alone with our thoughts.
“You ready?” he asks, clearing his throat and glancing around.
“Yes,” I whisper as he heads over to retrieve the diaper bag and gather up the few things left. I move to the car seat and crouch in front of it. I move his snowsuit to the floor, but before I set him down to get him ready to go, I run my nose against his soft forehead, letting the peach fuzz on his head tickle my nose. He smells like baby shampoo and his daddy.
God, I’m going to miss this if I’m asked to leave.
I push that thought away, not wanting to start crying again, and work on getting Milo in his suit. He wakes up and hollers his disapproval, but his pacifier does wonders to calm him down. I get him situated in the car seat, buckled in tight, and ready to go. When I stand and glance to the right, I find Colton there, watching us. A look in his eyes that resembles love. Love for his son, sure, but maybe even love for me.
I slip on my coat as Colton does the same, takes the car seat, and throws the diaper bag over his shoulder. When he reaches the door, he extends his hand, which I readily take. We walk together down the hall and out the back door. I can’t help but wonder if this will be the last time I’m here. If things go south with Colton and me tonight, I’m sure I won’t be welcomed back inside, let alone back to watch Milo.
That thought is soul-shattering.
Milo babbles in the back seat of the truck, swatting at the toys that hang from the seat handle. There are no other words spoken, just the sounds of a happy baby playing. I soak up every ounce of it, committing every second of his noises to memory. Just in case.
Back home, I grab the diaper bag from the back and get the door unlocked for Colton. Even though he’s carrying his son, he still insists I enter the house first. I set the bag down on the kitchen table as he removes the blanket from the carrier and smiles down at his son. “You about ready to eat, little man?”
Milo smiles and kicks, letting his dad know he’s more than ready.
“I’m going to feed him some peas and carrots for dinner. What time will the Crock-Pot be done?” he asks hesitantly. There’s that feeling we’re both walking on glass, and I hate it. I hate that we’ve come to this.
“Thirty minutes,” I tell him after glancing at the clock.
Colton nods and heads to the cabinet to get jars of baby food.
“Why don’t I go take a shower while you feed him. I’ll come back and get the dinner dished up,” I say, wringing my hands together in front of me. “Unless you’d rather not eat together.”
Once Milo is secured in his high chair, he turns my way. “I want you h
ere,” he states. “I want to be able to see you, to know you’re safe. I want you to help me give my son a bath and help put him to bed tonight. I want to pull you in my arms and snuggle under the blankets, only to fall asleep with you in my arms after I’ve made you come no less than twice. I want to wake up with you, and maybe even make love to you again before Milo wakes up. I want all of that, but I know in order to get it, we have to talk about what is going on.”
He takes a deep breath. “So, go to your place and take your shower. Then come back here and have dinner with me. After we put Milo to bed, we’re going to figure out what is going on so we can move forward. Together.”
God, the confidence in his voice, that conviction that everything is going to be okay almost brings me to my knees. I just pray he’s right. That once he hears what I say, he won’t ask me to leave, that the only way he can protect himself and his son is to ask me to go.
I don’t want that.
Not at all.
But I would do it in a heartbeat if it meant they were safe.
Because I love them.
After my shower, I feel marginally better, but that looming sense of dread still niggles my mind. I slip through my door and into the laundry room, the scent of dinner filling the small space. When I open the kitchen door, I find Milo still in his high chair, orange stains from his dinner on his bib, and Colton standing at the counter. The table is set with two plates and two glasses of water, a basket of rolls sitting in the middle.
“Hey, buddy,” I say softly to Milo, who throws a toy on the floor for me to retrieve.
“That’s his new favorite game. I’ve picked that block up twenty times in the last five minutes, and if I don’t do it quick enough, he lets me have it.”
I smile widely as I bend down and retrieve the wet plastic block. It has raised numbers and shapes on it in bright blue and red colors. When I set it down, he takes the block and tries to shove it in his mouth, only to drop it over the edge of the high chair tray once more. The moment he does, he looks up at me expectantly, and I can’t help but laugh.
Fair Lakes Series Box Set Page 68