by Ali Dean
I’m glad I managed to get in a quick run before my flight this morning. The day after a race, even a shorter one early in the season, my training is minimal. It means I’ve got the rest of the day off. After nearly two hours sitting around chatting, we send Gran off to join her regular Bingo obligations with the others, and we head over to Wes and Zoe’s place.
They’ve got a huge table in a dining room they never use, and I can’t help jumping up and down when I find a few puzzle boxes sitting in the middle of it. “Yes!” I pump a hand in the air. Jace and I love doing puzzles together but it feels like forever since we’ve sat down and tackled one.
Jace’s knowing smile at my enthusiasm tells me he’s the one who had this idea.
“I didn’t know what to get so I got a bunch,” Wes says with a gesture to the pile of puzzles. He never was as into the puzzles as me and Jace. He just went along with us.
“Some of these say ages seven to twelve, Wes,” Jace says with raised eyebrows, holding up one of the boxes.
“Yeah, those are for me,” Wes says with a sigh.
Frankie and Lizzie look confused. Jace just shakes his head. “For a dude who can build multi-million-dollar computer security programs, you really suck at puzzles.”
Zoe defends her husband. “Guys, those ones that say ages seven to twelve are seriously hard. Especially if you’re drinking,” she adds, taking a sip of wine. “Besides, I have to go to bed in like two hours. Some of us have to wake up early for school. Did you guys even know how early the teachers had to get up when we were kids? Shit. I never thought about it until I became one but it’s way too early.”
We settle in at the table, Jace and I working on one of the bigger ones, Zoe and Wes on one of the kiddie ones, and Frankie and Lizzie helping out here and there, laughing at our antics.
“So Frankie,” Zoe asks, “is this a normal night for a Stallions player? I mean we’ve got these two NFL players on their off-season. I know Jace and Pepper here aren’t normal. You think puzzling it up with the wifeys is what the other Stallions are doing?”
Frankie chuckles. Lizzie scoffs. “Actually,” she says, “Calvin Snyder and his wife Leah are closet nerds. She was a Victoria’s Secret model but the two of them are super into chess. I bet they spend the off-season battling each other at chess all day.”
“Oh yeah, we met Leah at Frankie’s event. I liked her.” Can’t really picture the bombshell from that night nerding out with pawns and rooks but she and her friend seemed cool.
“Hey, they’re having a few of us over to their place this weekend,” Frankie says. “Leah and Calvin. You guys should all come. Get to know some people on the team outside of a publicity thing. I think only Angel and Tanner are coming.”
“Sounds kind of small. You sure they’d want you inviting all us ragers?” I ask.
“Nah. As long as it’s cool people and no drama they’ll be down.”
“Good thing we can’t go,” Wes says. “’Cause Zoe always brings the drama.”
We all know he’s joking but Zoe smacks him lightly on the cheek in mock outrage. “Ski trip we planned a while ago. We would invite you guys but you know with that professional athlete thing we figured you wouldn’t be able to enjoy the slopes.”
I’ve had two glasses of wine, which is pretty unusual for me, and it’s making the words flow out of me. “Okay, so I liked Angel and Leah. But Stephanie Bremer got all up in my business. She also basically said that all the guys on the team cheat on their wives. What’s up with that?”
Lizzie and Frankie share a look. There’s a long pause and I glance at Jace, who opens his mouth to speak, but Frankie starts responding. “Troy Bremer does. I know he’s got the family image, All-American guy thing going on in the media but he’s actually an asshole on and off the field. Takes a ton of PR to keep that image up. Dude better retire before the truth comes out about him.”
Lizzie sighs. “It’s not like he’s the only asshole on the team. It doesn’t help he’s the leader.” She looks pointedly at Jace. “Believe me, I’m hoping you’ll take his spot for a lot more reasons than having you guys around to hang out with.”
Zoe says, “It’s still weird to me that Jace Wilder, the bad boy from high school, is going to be the role model for husbands and men across the country.” She shakes her head.
I laugh. “I wouldn’t go that far.” Well, it’s not that much of a reach. Scary.
“So are most of the women on the team like you, Leah and Angel or are they more like Stephanie?” I’m more interested in the women I’ll be dealing with than the asshole behavior of the men on the team.
Lizzie shakes her head. “There are three types of women with the Stallion players. The ones like Stephanie, whose husbands cheat and who are real bitter about it.” She holds up one finger and then a second. “Then there are the ones whose husbands cheat but they don’t care because they knew what they were signing up for. They know they’re trophy wives and their reward is the money and the lifestyle and they play along.” She raises a third finger before declaring, “And then there are people like us, with husbands or boyfriends who don’t cheat and who try to keep lives and relationships as normal as possible despite the money and lifestyle.”
We all stare at Lizzie for a minute or two, taking this in, thinking it over. “Yeah,” I finally say, breaking the silence. “That actually makes sense. I didn’t spend much time with the women on the Browns team, but from what I saw, it was similar.”
Jace pulls me over to him, hauling me onto his lap. He always seeks as much physical contact with me as possible. “You don’t seem fazed by the reality that most of the guys on the team aren’t loyal to their wives or girlfriends. That should bother you more.”
He’s talking just to me, but everyone is listening.
“You never talk about it, but I’m not stupid, Jace. I know why you only did the obligatory social stuff with the team and stayed out of the partying scene with them.”
Wes speaks up then. “We’ll make our own partying scene when you’re on the Stallions. The wives can even come,” he teases.
Jace looks over my shoulder to Wes. “You mean we’ll sit around playing chess and doing kiddie puzzles?”
“And,” Zoe adds with a yawn, “we’ll all go to bed at nine PM.”
She leans over to kiss her husband on the forehead before adding, “Kidding, you guys chill but it’s my bedtime.”
Once Zoe leaves, the rest of us call it a night too. After all, we aren’t the ragers we used to be. Okay, I was never a rager. But I did pretend on occasion. I give Wes strict instructions not to move the puzzle we’ve started and he shrugs, saying if I’d do the kiddie puzzles I’d be able to finish in one sitting.
Frankie and Lizzie stay in Jace’s old room at his dad’s place and we take the guest room at Gran’s, which contains my old bedding and furniture. So, I guess it’s really my room, but everyone’s been calling it the guest room for some reason.
When we’re alone in bed, Jace pulls me onto his lap for at least the third time today.
“You love me in your lap,” I say softly on a giggle as I let him settle me around his hips. This time, he’s in nothing but boxer briefs and I’m in sleep shorts and a thin tee shirt. I know exactly where it’s leading and I lean forward to feel his lips on mine.
But instead of devouring me like I’m asking him to, Jace presses a gentle finger to my lips. “I’m sorry I’ve let Drake take me away from you so much. I didn’t think I had a choice.”
I blink at the unexpected change of direction. “You don’t have to say that, Jace. You haven’t done anything wrong. Until your contract with him is up, you really don’t have a choice.”
He shakes his head. “No. The contract might not end for a couple months but I’m not putting up with the bullshit until then. I know we’re good. I know you trust me. But not partying and fucking around like those other guys doesn’t mean I’m doing enough to earn that trust. You trust me to do what’s right for us too, and I
can do better. I will.”
“But what about me?” I say on a whisper, my throat suddenly too dry. “Can’t I do more?”
He frowns. “What do you mean?”
“I could travel with you to all these events. I could travel less for races.”
His frown deepens. “No.” That’s it. That’s all he says.
Now I’m the one frowning. “Marriages mean compromises, Jace. We each give up a little bit for each other.”
“But I’m not giving up anything that matters to me here. I don’t have to jump at every sponsors’ beck and call. Drake makes me think I do but he’s wrong, and deep down I know I have more power in the trade negotiations than he’s making out. I need to take control of my career instead of letting Drake run it.”
“So you’re not just doing it because I miss you?” I clarify.
He runs his nose down the length of mine. “Maybe that’s making me face the music and not play along, but no. I’m not a rookie anymore, it’s time to step into those shoes Frankie was talking about. Be a leader. And I can’t do that if I’m letting agents and sponsors dictate my life.”
Melting into him, the words fall easily from my lips, “I love you, Jace Wilder.”
“Love you too, Pepper Wilder.” And then, finally, his lips meet mine.
Chapter Ten
Pepper
I only get two recovery days with easy running and minimal strength training before another hard workout. For now, Lexi and Sienna are coordinating their training as much as possible with mine so that we can do some of these hard efforts together. Our training isn’t perfectly aligned but we can almost always run together for long runs and easy runs. It’s rare to get to do the same workout together, but they had a half marathon pace run on the agenda for this week anyway. The main difference is that my half marathon goal pace is a little faster than theirs. Still, it’s worth it to me to have others to run with, so instead I add on two miles beforehand at pace so that I’m starting with them already a little fatigued.
While I know most of the best running routes around Brockton, in college we trained on trails for cross country and did workouts on the track for most of track season. Now, most of our workouts need to be on roads. Fortunately, Lexi and Sienna know of the best places with minimal traffic where we can do a nine-mile pace run.
To qualify for the Olympic marathon trials in the half marathon, I’ll need to run a 5:30 mile pace. I hold this pace for the first two miles on my own before Lexi and Sienna join me and we take it back a notch. We’re over a mile high at altitude, so I’m not concerned that we’re pacing slightly slower than my goal pace on race day. The effort is smooth and comfortable. While I know I should be hurting more, it’s a confidence boost to know that I can run this fast and still feel good at the end.
Ray doesn’t see it that way. When I report to him later that day about my splits for the run, he’s less than pleased with the changes I made.
“These pace runs are crucial, Pepper. You need to know what it feels like to run that pace for a long distance. The Chicago half is in two months. I think you should come down to Flagstaff and train with the team for three or four weeks. You can get in a solid block. Your 10K was great but you need these longer workouts under your belt to get the qualifying time in the half.”
“I’m not going to Arizona,” I tell him. Giving pushback so easily, without any thought, I realize what Jace meant the other night. He can take control of his career. It’s easy as a professional athlete to assume you have to do what others tell you. I don’t know why, but especially early on, there’s this sense that it’s too good to be true, that you’re lucky enough to be doing what you love as a job, and you should have to do what the people in charge say in order to legitimize it. But I know I’m good enough. Especially after the 10K podium finish. After the workout today, I have total confidence in myself and I know being in Brockton training is where I need to be. I also know another race under my belt will give me that extra confidence for the Chicago half, where I hope to hit the Olympic Trials qualifying time.
“Why don’t I put a half on the calendar next month? I can do it as a training run, see where I’m at,” I offer.
Ray is silent for a few minutes. “That’s not a bad idea. It’s not what the others are doing, not my preferred approach, but I’m not opposed to it. You’ll just need to keep the effort at workout level, and we’ll train right through it. No resting beforehand, and no pushing to your limit at the end. I have a couple races in mind that could work.”
I’m smiling at my victory when I get off the phone with Ray. I don’t like having to push for what I want, what I need, for this career to work, but I’m willing to do it.
Jace is already in the weight room at Zoe and Wes’s place when I arrive. They’re on a ski trip, but left us free rein of their house. It’s still not quite pool weather but we’re taking full advantage of their gym.
I’ve got an hour of strength exercises to do and it’s excruciating being in there with Jace as he goes through his routine nearby. Music fills the air and no words are exchanged, but the tension crackling between us is nearly unbearable. I’m in my sports bra and Jace is shirtless, and though we didn’t exactly intend for this to be some kind of buildup, I’m pulsing with need by the time I’m on my last set of lunges. Jace is hovering close by. We haven’t even said anything to each other and I know by the heat in his gaze he’s as wound up as I am.
“You almost finished?” he asks, voice raspy.
I lower to one more lunge and then stand. “Done.”
“Thank fuck,” Jace growls, coming toward me and taking my mouth in his. We’re all sweaty limbs and desperation as we slip off our bottoms and tangle on the floor mat. It’s fast and hard and exactly what we need as I watch him behind me in the mirror spanning the walls on both sides. I can see his front and his back with mirrors on both walls and the image is so erotic, we finish together in minutes.
“I don’t think we should get a home gym,” I mumble when we collapse together in a heap.
“I was thinking the exact opposite,” Jace says with a devious grin.
“We need supervision. We’d never get our workouts in. I barely made it through that session and we already had sex this morning.”
We do have to make up for lost time when we’re together, but it never seems to be enough.
“And we’ve got our own hotel room tonight, so.” Jace waggles his eyebrows and I giggle.
“You’re insatiable,” I pretend to complain.
“When it comes to you, yes, I absolutely am.”
Jace gets free hotel rooms, so even though we could stay with Frankie or drive back up to Brockton after the party tonight, it’s fun to take advantage of these perks. As I think that, I wonder, “Do you ever worry we’ll get caught up in the money and lifestyle like Lizzie was talking about? I figured we fell in the normal category of people she described. Or trying to be despite the fame and power and privilege and whatever of the NFL.”
Jace strokes a few strays from my forehead that have fallen out of my ponytail. “It’s hard to think of you or us as normal, if that’s what you want. We’re just us, Pep. Not anything else. We have to make our own way. Fight for what works for us.”
I nod. “It is a fight, isn’t it? If you ride along without fighting, you can go down the wrong path. Like with Drake for you, or today when Ray tried to tell me to come out to Phoenix to train.”
“You’re not going?”
“Nope. I understand that the runners there are faster and there are advantages to running with them from an objective standpoint. But I’m better here. Better runner, better everything. I’m just…” I drift off, trying to think of the right words. “Where I’m supposed to be. Who I’m supposed to be, when I’m in Brockton.”
Jace’s expression somehow softens and darkens at the same time. Like he loves what I’m saying but it brings a cloud. I realize what I’ve done and try to backtrack.
“But I’m also where I
’m supposed to be when I’m with you, Jace. I know that New York wants you and I know that it’s far from a sure thing with Denver right now. I’ll go wherever you go, okay?”
Jace nods, jaw clenching. “I know.”
We’re running a little late to the party at Leah and Calvin’s place by the time we shower, eat and make our way down to Denver. I wasn’t sure if they’d be doing dinner, and after a hard day of training I need to make sure I get something healthy in me.
The Snyders live in the trendy LoHi neighborhood downtown. They could walk to the Stallions’ stadium from this location.
“Would you want to live somewhere like this if you trade to the Stallions?” I ask Jace as we wait for the elevator up to their loft. I’ve been hesitant to broach the topic, but curiosity gets the best of me.
Jace looks surprised and a little confused by my question. “No. We’d live in Brockton.”
My heart leaps at the idea even as I register my own confusion. “But Jace, that commute would be at least an hour each way for you. I’d want to spend every night with you when we could. Not have you crashing with your friends or staying at a separate place most nights just so I could be in Brockton.”
The elevator dings and we step on, Jace crowding his body around me as soon as the doors close. “Pepper, of course I’ll spend every night with you when we’re not traveling. Lots of people commute an hour each way. Brockton’s home. I’m not doing everything I can to trade to the Stallions only to live in another town.”
My hand reaches up to cup his face, finger running along his cheekbone. Jace’s eyes close briefly with my touch. Sometimes we get so caught up in the logistics of our lives, I forget just how deeply this guy loves me. He doesn’t think twice about making a horrible commute if it means we’ll be back where we belong, where I belong. “I love the way you love me,” I murmur.