by Maira Dawn
Dylan's head came up. "I didn't want you that far away. I can't protect you there." His tone was matter-of-fact.
Skye ran a hand down her hip before curling her fingers into a fist. "So let me understand this. You come after me when I headed to Ohio and shot down Tom's invitation for Jesse and me to stay there because you didn't want us that far away. Yet now, we are getting into each other's way, and you want me out."
Skye slapped her flat hand on the table as fear built, and self-control snapped. Dylan winced, but Skye didn't care. Just when Skye thought she and Jesse were safe, had found a home. She'd been sure this day would never come, that Dylan would never order her gone, yet here they were.
Skye tried to check herself. She didn't know enough to keep Jesse alive. Their time on the road proved that. She should be on her knees, begging Dylan to stay instead of working herself up to a boil.
But Skye had been that woman before, she wasn't now. This was more than Skye could take. Her frantic mind screamed that Dylan was unfair to put her in this precarious position.
She leaned toward him. "Sometimes, you try my patience to the very limit. You're worse than that little boy out there!" Skye's chair scraped against the kitchen floor as she suddenly stood, then stalked toward the door.
"No! Oh, no!" Skye muttered as she rounded back on Dylan, her hurt, fear, and anger continuing to build. Her voice rose with every word. "How did this become about you, and what you want? What about what Jesse wants and needs or even Wade? What about me? But we don't count? It just about you?"
Dylan replied in the only manner he knew when confronted with fury, the way his life trained him to respond. All his pent-up frustration and wrath came pouring out, directly at Skye.
He stood so fast, his chair launched across the room, crashing into the wall behind him. One large step brought him to Skye, his fierce face inches from hers. "I can't do this friend thing anymore! If that makes it all about me then fine, that's what it is, but I ain't gonna do it!"
Skye could feel Dylan's tightly controlled power. His body rigid as he struggled to hold the worst of his anger in check. Taken aback by his aggression, Skye took a step away from him. Her own ire cooled slightly as her clinical side reminded her this was the only way he knew how to respond.
Skye wasn't afraid. Dylan would never physically hurt her. Still, this level of fury was more intense than she had thought him capable. Skye released a shaky breath to help calm herself but found the pain of him trying to get rid of her took over once again.
"Can't do what, Dylan?" Skye asked. "What you promised me you would do? Is that done now? You will stick us in that cabin to be rid of us?"
Dylan's voice turned to ice. "I'll still take care of you, but I don't want to see you every day!"
Color drained from Skye's face, and air rushed from her lungs. Her eyes swept his features as she imagined the days without him, and the full weight of her feelings settled on her. There was no doubt in her mind her refusal to acknowledge her emotions pushed him to this point. A sob broke. What have I done?
Skye entreated him, holding a hand out to him. "I'm sorry, Dylan. This is my fault. I thought being friends was better for us, for all of us. Friends --"
"No! What can't you understand? I said, I ain't. Now get packed! You want to go to Tom's? That’s where I'll take ya," Dylan waved his hand, dismissing her.
"Dylan --"
"I ain't hearin ya. Just do what I said."
Dylan's unwillingness to listen fired Skye up again. "You rude, moronic brute! Fine, I'll just go. I'm sorry we have been such a burden to you!" She turned away from him and grabbed her backpack off the floor. Skye pressed her lips together and shoved clothes into it.
Dylan watched her pack, his shoulders tightening with every item she threw in the bag. Before he knew what he was doing, he murmured, "No."
Skye stopped for a moment. Hand trembling, she brought it to her forehead. "This is what you want, Dylan. Maybe you’re right, maybe it is what you -- we all -- need."
She picked up a shirt and thrust it into her full pack.
"I said no!" Dylan was aware he was confused, a mess. This is what his feelings for her had brought him to. He needed her gone, he needed her here. Nothing made sense.
Skye paused as Dylan roared the words, her insides chilled. She zipped her case. Dylan reached around her and tore the bag from her hands, throwing it behind him. It sailed across the room then bumped and crashed to a halt.
Skye said nothing but turned to retrieve the backpack. Dylan blocked her. When she tried to go around him, he boxed her between himself and the bed. When Skye attempted a third time, Dylan took a step closer. It was impossible for her to move.
"Back up," Skye ordered. "Let me out!"
Dylan's raw anger exploding in front of her took her back to a place she hadn't been in a long time. It frightened her.
Her hands smacked his hard chest. Her bracelets jangled against her arm when she pushed him again. She demanded space. He became an immovable stone.
Dylan's anger blazed, jumbled with several emotions he couldn't name. He didn't like it. He also didn't like her anger.
First, Skye hated his suggestion, now she wanted it. She rejected him. Again.
Dylan's chest puffed as Skye beat and pushed on it. He was so intent on keeping her here, he didn't see the flash of fear in her eyes. He scraped his shoe the smallest bit forward, throwing her off-balance.
"Stop. Packing." He brought two fingers to her shoulder and slowly pushed against her.
Skye went down in an instant, bouncing once as she landed, then sitting motionless. Her anger seemed to have burned away all her strength, leaving sadness in its place.
"Dylan." Skye sounded tired. "What do you want?"
Dylan's glare turned into something else, something like longing.
He reached for Skye as if appealing on some level his words were unable to reach. Dylan stopped himself. He abruptly turned from her, striding toward the door.
Soft and gentle, Skye's voice came to Dylan. His hand stayed on the handle of the front door.
"Dylan, what do you want?"
Dylan hung his head, uttering a low groan. When he turned back to her, it was not because he wanted to. It was because he had to.
Those first words had been a mistake. Dylan had known it the instant they left his lips. The shock on her face had told him. Along with the weeping hole that suddenly appeared in his heart at the thought of Skye leaving him.
Hearing the words aloud, Dylan was sure the agony of Skye leaving would be far worse than the pain of seeing her every day. The second she'd turned her back to him, he'd felt abandoned.
Abandonment and Dylan didn't get along well. He had to put a stop to it.
Now her soft words made their way to him, asking the question he'd been afraid to ask himself. It took only a second to return to her.
Dylan was careful, gentle as he put one hand along her cheek and the other to the small of her back. He tugged her closer. Skye reached up, caressing the back of his neck. This felt right, perfect even.
Dylan tipped Skye's face up toward his and poured everything he couldn't say aloud through his gaze. Eyes locked, Skye and Dylan searched each other for the answers they couldn't find inside themselves. Skye's heartbeat thundered below his fingertips as he slid his hand over her neck. His own began to roar along with hers.
Skye's surprise quickly turned into acceptance. Her eyes shone as she leaned into Dylan. Skye moved her hand to the top of his arm and pushed herself up to bring her lips closer to his.
Everything Dylan wanted was in his arms, yet he still could not trust it. He would rather deal with the situation as it had been then the way it could be. If, after this, she rejected him another time, his heart would not only be missing a piece, it would be entirely broken.
If this kiss happened, it might be his undoing -- an ending, not a beginning.
He needed to leave. "No." Softly, as he gave her one last slow stroke. "No, we can't
."
Dylan turned from her, looking over his shoulder once before going out of the cabin door. Skye knelt on the bed; arms wrapped around herself. Tears rolled down her face.
Nineteen
Words
Jesse knelt on the ground, making dirt ramps for his cars when Dylan and Skye began to shout. He looked up and frowned. There'd been lots of shouting in the house he grew up in, but Skye didn't scream, she talked.
Jesse tipped his head and tried to listen. What were they so angry about? But even though the voices got louder, he couldn't make out the words through the closed windows.
A crash had him bolting upright, stomach tense.
There was no hurt cry, only yelling. But when the second crash came, Jesse started toward the front door. Wade stopped him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.
Jesse tried to shake him off, but Wade held firm. Jesse scowled at Wade. Skye might need him.
"I know, boy," said Wade, "I don't like it either, but they need to have their say, uninterrupted. It's been comin for a while now."
Jesse pressed his lips together and turned back, staring at the front door of the little cabin. He willed them to stop arguing and come out.
"Ya know, Dylan wouldn't ever hurt Skye, right?"
Jesse shrugged. As far as he had seen in his short life, it was more likely than not that a man would hurt a woman. The boy's hands curled into fists if Skye cried out he would go in there no matter what Wade did.
Wade crouched on the ground and peered at Jesse's face. "A good man never hits his woman, and Dylan is a good man."
Jesse nodded his agreement. He believed that. After everything Dylan did for him, he was more than good.
Wade looked over at the cabin which had gotten quieter now. "That woman is the other side of him. He just doesn't know it yet."
Jesse scoffed and rolled his eyes. He thought that was just about the stupidest thing he ever heard. What was Wade talking about?
Wade barked out a laugh. "Don't worry, boy, your day's comin."
Wade stood and let out a long, low whistle as Dylan left the house and headed out to the woods. Dylan didn't give either of them so much as a glance, he'd been too busy wiping away tears.
Jesse tugged at Wade's hand again, but Wade still held fast. "A couple more minutes. Let her have some time."
When Wade let go, Jesse ran as fast as he could to the cabin, stopping inside the door. Skye used a straw broom to sweep glass from the floor.
Jesse's gaze rolled over her and the broken glass. "You okay?" he asked.
Skye nodded. "Yep, I'm fine, but a hug would be nice."
Jesse let out a breath, stepped over the glass and put his arms around her.
"It was really loud." His voice broke.
Skye stroked Jesse's hair. "I'm sorry it must have been scary for you."
"I wasn't scared. I don't get scared!" Jesse hesitated a moment. "Well, unless I fall off a cliff."
Skye dutifully acknowledged his bravery. "It was just a lot of words. We weren't happy with each other. We should have handled it better, but no one got hurt."
"Dylan wouldn't hurt you." Jesse's tone was serious.
"Oh, I know, I was talking about me hurting him." Skye tickled Jesse, and they laughed. Skye changed the subject, "Hey, how about a muffin?"
When Jesse enthusiastically nodded, she plated one each for him and herself.
Around a mouthful, Jesse said, "Wade said something stupid."
"Um, imagine that. What did he say?"
"He said you're the other side of Dylan, and he doesn't know it yet." Jesse laughed, choked on his muffin and took a drink of his water. "Isn't that the stupidest thing you ever heard?"
Skye didn't answer. Instead, she laid her chin on her hand and stared at the door Dylan had walked out. She'd tried to stifle whatever she and Dylan felt for each other and for a good reason. The world was in chaos, their lives were in turmoil, with all the threats surrounding them each day could be their last.
But she could make those same arguments for them to allow their feelings freedom. And Skye was pretty sure where that freedom would take them. At least on her side. She'd never felt this deeply about anyone.
Wade wasn't as stupid as Jesse thought.
Life could be short or long, just like it always had been. Whatever it was, she wanted to spend it with Dylan.
She'd put her heart on hold long enough. Now she needed to figure out how to get that stubborn man to come to his senses too.
Twenty
Crazy Out of his Mind
Wade was aware he didn't know much about emotions, but he did remember the first time he fell in love. He'd been confused and terrified as a demented bear. No one wanted to be around him.
Wade hadn't even understood what the emotion was. He'd never felt anything so pure and light before, and it sat oddly within him. For him, love came wrapped in hurt, anger, and pain. Without those, Wade hadn't known what to call it.
Crazy, out of his mind, and out of control, is how he felt. The restraint that took so much to hang on to was gone, and he'd found himself doing stupid things, good and bad, to please the woman holding his affection. It had deeply frightened Wade. He imagined Dylan was going through this now, and he pitied his little brother.
Wade saw this coming for a while. From the moment the world changed, from the moment the girl Dylan dragged him to town for a peek at showed up on the side of the road. Once that girl climbed in the big, red truck, she wasn't going anywhere. Wade knew it. Dylan couldn't let her.
The two of them pushed and pulled, toward and away from each other ever since. With Dylan as confused as Wade had been.
Wade pushed aside a low tree branch and started through the tree line, shaking his head. The difference was Dylan had found himself a good woman.
Maybe when people came from a background like theirs, this love thing came over a person worse. He didn't know, but what he did know was that he needed to talk with his brother.
Wade followed Dylan's trail. Even though he wasn't as skilled at tracking as Dylan was, he got by. And Dylan wasn't hiding his tracks today. He found his brother sitting on a large, old log, picking at his crossbow. Dylan lifted his head and stared at him.
"Hey, brother." Wade greeted him, scraping his foot against the forest floor. It was a bit awkward now he stood face to face with Dylan. "I just came out here to see how you were doin."
"Yeah, I heard you comin since you hit the tree line."
Wade scoffed. He looked back the way he'd come, hoping that wasn't actually the case, though he wouldn't have been surprised if it was. He cleared his throat and repeated, "Well, I just thought I'd see how you're doin, is all."
Dylan snapped his answer. "I know what you came out here for, and I ain't hearin it."
"Okay, sure. I'll just keep company then, sit a spell." Wade lowered himself to the other end of the log. He launched into a detailed explanation of a new waste compost he wanted to build.
After a while, Wade's jabbering had the desired effect, Dylan heaved a great sigh. "Just say what you came out here to say."
A smile lit up Wade’s face. He had some fine big brother advice. Wade told Dylan how his first love made him feel and how, even if she hadn't been wrong for him, he would've messed it all up because he didn't know what he was doing. When Dylan responded, it was not the way Wade expected.
"Wade, what does that have to do with me?" Dylan waved his hand, dismissing the story.
Wade sat back. "Cause, you got feelings for that girl. She's got you all confused and riled up."
Dylan scoffed. "I ain't confused. I care about her, same as you do. Same as I do for Jesse." Dylan shook his head. "That's not the part I'm riled up about. And she ain't a girl to be trifled with, it'd mess up the whole family."
Wade threw his head back, laughing. "You think you're feelin this bad because of a lack of birds and bees action. Oh no, D, you know better than that. You're in love with that girl."
Dylan turned away. "Ev
en if I were, it wouldn't matter. It's like you said way back in the beginning, she ain't for me."
Wade ran a hand over his chin. "If that was true then, it ain't now. Everything's changed. If you want that girl and she wants you, then it seems to reason, she's for you."
"Thought you heard that fight." Rude, moronic brute still rang through Dylan's mind. "Didn't you hear her? She don't want me."
"Umph, we talkin bout the same girl here, bro? Since when did a little name-calling get ya down?" Wade chuckled. "Maybe she was just trying out a little love talk on ya."
Wade's attempt to lighten the mood worked, and though Dylan scoffed at him, he smiled.
Wade patted Dylan's arm. "You waited a while to find yourself a woman. And Skye, she's a good one. She's good for you, good for us all. Somehow we ended up with a little family, and I like it. This is the best we've ever had it." Wade stared at Dylan. "I know this must be hitting ya pretty hard. It seems strange and almost wrong, but it ain't. She and that boy are one of the few rights we've had. Don't blow this. We need her."
Dylan gave his brother a long look before getting up and walking deeper into the trees, heading for his forest sanctuary.
Dylan knew Wade was right about one thing. This was the best they've had it, maybe that's why he was afraid to face what he felt and try for more. But he and Skye needed to do something. Friends wasn't working -- it wasn't working at all.
So that meant Skye leaving. Which made her angry, and he rejected as soon as he suggested it or...
Dylan heaved a sigh, attempting to release the tight band around his chest. He ran a hand over his face. If everything else was out of the question, he must do the only thing left.
Well, he would try and see where it took them.
Dylan bit his lips together a few times and looked to the treetops. After the way he left her, she might never talk to him again. He had no choice but to do whatever it took to get back in her good graces.