by Tania Joyce
The color drained from his face. He raked his fingers through his hair. “Fuck. No. No, I don’t.”
Just what she thought. The hint that he might have been leading her toward a relationship had him reeling backward faster than a tape set to rewind.
“Good. Because I’m not into you either.” She pointed her finger at his chest. “Don’t send me flowers. Don’t buy me lunch. Don’t dance with me like you just did. And please . . . don’t ever kiss me ever again.”
Her heart plummeted to the floor. It took all her strength to remain upright. Confused by her own growing feelings for him, she had to reset the boundaries. She had to protect herself from falling.
“I’m sorry, Kar. I sent those things to you because you said you wanted me to be considerate. I came here because I needed to know you were going to be okay when I left.” He slumped and swayed. “It’s been a fucked up few days. The scan. Ryan. Doing shows. The wolves after us. Worrying about you. Your safety. Everything is doing my head in. Guess I haven’t been handling it well. In fact, not at all.”
Seeing Hunter crack under the stress tore at her soul. She had to take some of the blame. She hadn’t been exactly nice to him. She wanted to hold him and comfort him and at the same time, keep herself emotionally detached. How could she find the balance between tough love and kindness? How could they be good parents to their child without hurting each other? She remembered the way Hunter’s face had transformed, lit up and shone when he saw Ryan. In that moment, everything had been perfect. She wanted that Hunter without the drama.
“I’ll be okay,” she said. “And so will you. We’ll get through this. I know we will. But as friends. Okay?”
He nodded, lowering his gaze to the floor.
“I’m going to go home.” Before she ended up a blubbering mess.
He wriggled his finger at her. “Now that . . . I can do. I’ll take you.”
While he made a call to security, she gathered her belongings. When she was ready, he grabbed her by the hand and led her through the crowded ballroom. The guests parted for him like the sea did for Moses. She tried to pull free of his hold, but he gripped onto her tighter. “Don’t let go.” He drew her closer, held her hand against the small of his back. “Let me get you to the car. Safely. Please?”
“Okay.”
He didn’t break stride as he led her out of the room, past the stunned glares of the partygoers and the bewildered look on Conrad’s face.
With her coat on, her clutch under her arm, and her shoes hooked over her fingertips, she tucked in behind Hunter’s broad shoulders, followed him across the hotel lobby, and met their security guards. He shielded her from the camera flashes and helped her out into the waiting car. Once they settled on the plush leather seats, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Did he not listen to her? Ever?
Too weak with tiredness, she couldn’t be bothered to fight him anymore. Instead, she savored the warmth of his body heat. His protective and comforting hold. His constant, steady heartbeat.
She closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder for the entire journey home. She nuzzled against his jacket. It smelled of whiskey . . . and him. Her neck still tingled from his kiss.
Chapter 14
Hunter had been gone for seven weeks. Life had returned to normal. Kara wasn’t sure how long normal would last. Grabbing her tote and a swag bag left over from Conrad’s fashion week showing yesterday, Kara stepped out of the car in front of her apartment building. She avoided planting her foot into a pile of snow and turned to Giles. “Is it still necessary for you to be my bodyguard now the paparazzi aren’t hanging around?”
No one staked Kara out anymore. After New Year’s Eve, the gossip and reporters following her had been crazy for a few days. Online news sites overflowed with headlines like, “Hottest couple in town”, “Hunter spotted with baby’s mom,” and “Did Hunter propose on New Year’s Eve?” She’d learned to take on board Hunter’s, Kyle’s, and Gemma’s advice, and not read online news. Now she seldom checked the internet.
Giles closed the car door behind her. “Miss, protecting you may not be necessary, but it’s what I get paid to do.”
“You’re a sweetie, Giles.” Kara shivered in the cold. “But it must be boring.”
“It’s a good thing I like people watching. It helps to pass the time. You have a good evening.” He swished his fingers in a casual salute goodbye. “I’ll see you in the morning. Oh . . . and happy Valentine’s Day.”
Boom!
The emptiness in her heart erupted. The first Valentine’s Day in years when she’d be alone. And the way things were going, it wouldn’t be her last. At eighteen weeks pregnant, no guy would want her. Dating was not an option, on hold indefinitely.
“Thanks. You have a nice night with your wife.” Kara tried to inject enthusiasm into her voice.
She dragged her feet toward her building. After New Year’s, it had been refitted with a new high-tech key-code access door, and renovated foyer. There was a new full-time doorman, and CCTV cameras had been mounted inside and outside of the building as well as on every floor.
Taking the elevator, she went up to her apartment on the second story, dumped her belongings on her sofa, and made her way into her tiny kitchen. As she went to unclip the Chinese takeaway menu off the fridge she hesitated. Glancing at the printout of Hunter’s tour schedule next to it, she scanned down the long list of dates. She found February 14. Today, they were in Paris.
How romantic.
She ripped the menu off the fridge and ordered takeaway for one. Maybe she should get a cat. A hamster. A dog. Anything for company. But not to worry. In four and a half months, she’d have her baby.
Since Everhide had left to continue their overseas tour, she’d hardly heard from them. Different time zones didn’t help. Gemma snapchatted when she could. Hunter sent the odd text. Often, his messages only detailed the name of the city he was in.
In Auckland. In Sydney. In Melbourne.
Now that fashion week was over, and she didn’t have to put in such long hours at the office, she didn’t need Hunter back in the forefront of her mind. She had to find a new project to occupy her brain.
With the delicious smell of the honey chicken she had for dinner lingering throughout her apartment, Kara crawled into bed at ten o’clock. She performed her nightly ritual of placing her headphones over her belly and switched her iPod on to play Everhide’s music to Ryan. She leaned over to turn her light off and her tummy fluttered.
She gasped. Her hand shot to her belly. She’d never felt anything like it.
Then it happened again.
A smile charged across her face. She ripped the headphones off and placed her hands onto her skin. A little flicker, soft and gentle like the wings of a baby bird, pulsed inside her tummy.
“Oh wow.” Kara spoke to her bulging baby bump. “I can feel you. Is that you kicking?”
She grabbed her cell phone off the nightstand and sent a text to Hunter. He’d said he wanted to be informed with any baby updates. This was epic.
Felt Ryan kick for the first time tonight.
Coolest thing ever.
She hit send and nestled back against her pillows. The little ripples from the baby’s kicks thrummed low in her abdomen. She sucked on her lip, unable to stop the water pooling in her eyes. This was the most amazing thing ever.
With her hands splayed across her tummy she snuggled down, deeper into her bed, warming up underneath her quilt. She jumped when her cell phone rang.
Hunter?
She glanced at the time. 10:18 p.m. Doing a quick calculation in her head, she worked out it was after four a.m. in Europe. What the hell?
She swiped the screen. “Hello?”
“Hey, Kar. You felt him move?” His voice was so quiet she could hardly hear him.
“Yeah. It’s so awesome,” she gushed. “I wish you were here to feel it. It’s so weird.”
“Weird? How so?”
“Why are you
whispering?” She realized she was talking at the same level.
“Um . . .” She heard a door close. “We’ve just got back to the hotel. We went out after the show and had a few drinks. We’re traveling tomorrow, so I’ll be able to catch up on sleep.”
“Are you sharing a room with Kyle and Gem?”
“Ah . . . no.” He hesitated. “I’ve got my own room.”
“Then why are you being so quiet?” Then it hit her. “Oh . . . shit. You’ve got someone with you. Haven’t you?” Her heart fell from her chest and rolled across the floor, slipped through a crack in the boards, and disappeared.
“No. Yes.” Stress rippled through his voice. “It’s not what you think.”
Her cell phone shook in her hand. “What am I supposed to not think, Hunter?” Even she could hear the bite in her tone. She had no claim over him. She wasn’t stupid. So why did it hurt so much? “You’re on tour. You have girls. I get it.”
“Kara,” he snapped. “It’s not like that. Every time I’ve come close, you pop into my head. It’s a real mood-killer.”
She’d been called many things before. But mood-killer? That was new. She was fat, pregnant, and single. A total mood-killer. But like he’d said, he’d been close to doing something. At least he was getting some kind of attention. Did close mean he was making out with girls, or were they just getting down on their knees for him? Her stomach churned at the thought. Why was she so jealous?
“I’m sure you’ll get over it.” A bitter taste burned her tongue. “Like now. Considering you have someone with you. Who is it? Some hot French girl? A groupie?”
Silence. She looked at her phone thinking the connection had dropped out. But then she heard him breathe.
“It’s Amie.”
“Amie? Who the hell is—” Kara’s hand shot to her chest. “Oh shit. You’re kidding me? Your ex is in your room? Even after she screwed you over?” The baby rolled from one side of her tummy to the other. “Ow! Ryan doesn’t like that either. You should’ve felt what he did.”
“What did he do?”
“He kicked the crap out of me. What the hell are you doing with her?”
He wouldn’t sleep with her again, but Amie was fine? Oh! This made her feel so much better. Not!
Something thumped. Sounded like he hit a wall. “She was at the same bar. She’s in town on tour with one of her bands. We had a drink.”
“And you brought her back to your room.” Kara winced at the cattiness in her tone.
“I haven’t slept with her.” His voice grew harsher, louder. “We’re just talking. Catching up.”
“Yes, I remember Gemma telling me how you and Amie just talked. If I recall, it involved a ripped shirt, lipstick stains, and scratch marks on your chest.” She clutched and twisted a handful of her quilt around in her fist, tighter and tighter and tighter.
He sighed, his breath heavy through the cell phone speaker. “Come on. That was a long time ago.”
“Hunter, there is no you and me. You can screw whoever you want. It’s Valentine’s Day. Go for it.” A tear slid down her cheek. She didn’t want to get upset, but since falling pregnant with his child, she’d hated the thought of him being with anybody else. Hated it. “She’s your type, isn’t she? Drop-dead gorgeous, and dresses like a slut. Something I’ll never be or do.”
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Was he hitting his head against the wall?
“I wasn’t with Amie for her looks, if that’s what you’re insinuating,”
“Bullshit.” Kara wasn’t blind. Amie was model tall, skinny as a rake, and cosmetically enhanced to perfection. She was a man magnet. “Don’t kid yourself.”
“I’m not. We were friends for a long time. It grew into something more. Something I thought was real. Something . . . too short-lived.” Then he paused. His voice lowered and came out slow and pained. “Because I wasn’t good enough for her. I was never enough for her.”
What? Hunter not good at something? That was a first. But the vulnerability in his voice hit her deep inside her chest. He made her head spin and her heart wish for something that was unfathomable. Since New Year’s, she’d been holding out for a miracle. That he’d change. She’d change. That they’d put their differences aside, fall in love, and raise their child together. But she’d been duping herself for far too long. She wanted a man who was loyal, faithful, and adored her. One who’d be around. Hunter would never be that guy. A chill swept over her and her heart hardened. “Hunt, you have Amie in your room. What you do with her is none of my business.”
“Stop. Please?” He pleaded. “Amie and I were talking about you. The baby. How things were going.”
Shit!. Kara jabbed her palm against her forehead. Why did he always get her so worked up? Why did she always think the worst of him? “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to flip out. I’m tired. Fashion week was exhausting.”
“How was the showing?”
She closed her eyes and filled her lungs. Having this baby and building their friendship was a team effort. She had to be more tactful, caring and considerate, not jump when he did something she didn’t like. Massaging her temple, she found her inner calm and fell into conversation with him. Talking about her week and his tour took her mind off wanting to rip his head off and eat it like a praying mantis. The gentle tone in his voice had a soothing effect on her. Made her miss him. And that was something she shouldn’t be feeling.
She covered her mouth and yawned. “Hunt, it’s late. I gotta get some sleep. Thanks for calling and the catch up.”
“Wait,” he said. “I want to see how big he’s grown. Put video on.”
“What?” Had she heard him correctly?
“Please?”
“You’re sick.”
“I think we well and truly established that fact a long time ago.”
“You want to see my belly?”
“Yeah. I know I’m not there, but I want to see him growing. See every little change.”
See? There was the nice Hunter. He could be so adorable. Sometimes.
Going off at him tonight like some psycho jealous ex was wrong. She didn’t want to be like that. Ever. He had his life. She had hers. She had to focus on being his friend.
She hit the video button and pulled up her pajama top. As she positioned her cell phone camera to focus on her baby bump, Hunter’s face filled the screen.
“Are you in the bathroom?” Kara could make out the shower in the background.
“Yeah.” Her cell phone shone with his gorgeous smile. “Cute snowflake winter jammies, Kar . . . Oh wow, look at the size of your tummy . . . he’s grown so much. Oh . . . mega wow. Look at the size of your boobs. They’re fantastic.”
Even though her breasts were covered, she lowered her shirt an inch and glared at him. “And they hurt like hell. Nothing good about them.”
His eyes glinted. “Oh . . . yes there is.”
She blushed. Just ignore him. Then, Ryan moved. “There . . . I feel him.” She placed her hand on her abdomen. “It’s like little flutters and bubbles.” Kara wriggled lower on the mattress and angled her cell phone for Hunter to see her whole tummy. Ryan kicked again. “You can’t see anything move yet. Won’t be long until you can.”
“Can’t wait.” Hunter’s eyes twinkled, then darkened. “Thanks, Kar. I hate not being there to see him. But knowing you’re doing okay makes me feel better.” He glanced at his watch. “I better go and send Amie on her way. I’m off to Spain in a few hours. Only fourteen weeks of tour left, and then I’ll be home.”
She was counting down the days. “I’ll be super fat by then.”
“And super sexy and beautiful.”
Her heart swelled. It shouldn’t have, but it did.
He waved at her. “Look after our bubby. Stay in touch. Chat soon. Bye.”
The screen went blank. She put her cell phone on her nightstand and her heart deflated. She tugged the pillow under her head and turned the light out. Drawing the quilt up, she cuddled it tightly
under her chin. Tears dampened her cheeks as she stared at the streetlight filtering into her room through the gap in her curtains. The heating element on her wall crackled and creaked as the outside night temperature plummeted.
Damn hormones made her cry at the slightest of things. Kleenex tissue ads. Pampers ads. Life insurance ads. And . . . Hunter.
If she wasn’t more careful when she spoke to him, she’d push him away. And she didn’t want that. Whether it was Amie or not, he would be with someone else soon enough. And in the future, so would she. It was just going to take her longer than she’d originally planned.
Hunter was going to be a great dad. He gloated like a proud daddy already. What was he going to be like when Ryan was born? Kara smiled and wiped her runny nose. He was going to be there for the baby. Just like she wanted. She could never ask for anything more.
Valentine’s Day hadn’t been too bad after all.
Maybe it was time to plan the nursery for Ryan. That would be her new project. She could do this single mother thing. She’d had enough of dramas, outbursts, and emotional swings. Surely, nothing else could go wrong. The rest of this pregnancy was going to be a breeze.
Chapter 15
Weary from lack of sleep, Hunter slipped into the leather seat of the private jet bound from Paris to Barcelona. Kyle took the seat opposite. After partying all night, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and he nursed his head. Hunter’s head spun, too. But it wasn’t from too much alcohol. It was from talking to Kara about Ryan’s first kick.
Ryan kicked. Epic.
As their backup band shuffled down the aisle to the seats at the rear, Gemma stood in a huddle at the front, chatting with Sophie, Bec, and Kate. Her eyes glistened as she giggled and carried on about something.
“What’s got Gem in such a good mood this morning?” Hunter asked Kyle.