‘Look,’ he says. He has to be quiet enough so no one outside hears him. ‘We’ve got a bad feeling about this. I don’t want to scare anyone, but we have no idea what they’ve done with the mum and kids they’ve taken. They’ve told us they’re safe, but I don’t know what to believe.’ No one moves as he speaks. ‘What I do know is that I don’t want to stay here like a sitting target. When you think about it, there are more of us than them. We can easily overpower them and end this before it really starts.’
‘Easily?’ a man asks.
‘We’d obviously have to plan it carefully. We could go at night, when they won’t be expecting it and most of the guards will be sleeping.’
‘You seem to have forgotten a vital fact,’ a woman says. ‘They have guns.’ Her words sting the air.
‘Do you really think they’d use them?’ The man looks around, yet no one answers him. ‘Because I don’t think they would. Imagine what would happen to their reputation. They want this camp to work, but not at any expense.’
‘Are you sure about that?’ It’s Mum who asks it.
‘I’m not sure about anything right now,’ the man says. ‘Apart from the fact that I don’t want to stay here any longer. They might only have one or two guards on at night. The perimeter of the fence is huge. They can’t watch it all.’
‘He’s got a point,’ someone says.
‘Plus –’ the man smiles – ‘we sneaked out a few knives from the kitchen. They’re not quite as clued up as they think they are. We’ve got a chance here.’ He looks around the room. ‘So what do you think? Shall we put our heads together to come up with a plan?’
‘What if we don’t want to be involved?’ Mum asks.
‘What are our other options? Just stay here like sitting ducks?’
The woman with the baby gets up. ‘Those who want to join us can. Those who want to stay, stay.’
‘It’s not about wanting to stay,’ Mum says. ‘It’s about it being too dangerous to try to escape.’
‘Let’s make a start,’ the man says, sitting down again. Some people must believe they can escape, as they go over to join the group.
‘Do you think they’re doing the right thing?’ I ask Luke.
‘It’s a risk I don’t think I’d take,’ he says and he hugs me close enough to burn away the grating hunger and dread in my belly, just for a bit.
In the morning, there’s a strange quiet in our room. No one speaks loudly of the planned escape any more, but there are whispers stabbing the air. I look around, hoping that Zamal and Rimi’s mum and sisters have come back in the night, but they haven’t and their absence seems even bigger and more painful than yesterday.
In silence we help tie the red material on each other’s arms. When I look at the number on mine, it feels stitched through my skin. When we are done, Zamal holds tight to Darren’s hand and Rimi to Mum’s. Lilli and I stand close to them as we go from the room.
Outside, I grab the sleeves of my hoodie, rolling them up once to hide the dirt on them. It doesn’t make much difference, but it makes me feel a tiny bit better as I get into line. A guard is standing in front of us, his voice shouting through a loudspeaker.
‘You are to repeat after me: Our great country. Unity for all.’
I look around expecting at least some people to laugh. No one does. Instead people start mumbling the words.
‘Our great country. Unity for all.’
The guard keeps saying it, the sound distorted and unnatural.
I look at Lilli and already she’s chanting it, her face tipped up slightly. And I know I have to join her.
‘Our great country. Unity for all.’ But I keep my voice small, hearing Lilli’s lapping over mine. On and on, as we move forwards slowly in the line, until I don’t even realise that I’m speaking any more.
I get closer to the front and above the chanting I can hear the general’s voice as he ticks the numbers on his list. I reach over for Lilli’s hand. When she looks at me I want to give her reassurance that we’ll all be okay, but her innocent face hurts my heart so much that instead I think I might cry. I only let go of her when it’s my turn to step forwards.
The general looks at me gently. ‘Ruby West,’ he says.
‘Yes.’ I’m real. I do exist.
‘Number?’
‘276.’ And I wonder if he sees fragments of his daughter caught in me, before I watch him make a mark next to the number on the page.
Lilli is sitting alone on the bed when I go over to her.
‘You okay, squid-breath?’ I ask.
‘Mm,’ she replies.
‘I’ve just had the delightful job of cleaning the loos.’
‘Was Luke with you?’
‘He’s with a group on gardening duty.’
‘You should have been with them,’ she says, shuffling over to make space for me.
‘I doubt I’m missing much. There aren’t exactly many plants around here to look after.’
‘Maybe you should ask the general for some.’
‘I don’t intend to stay here long enough to watch things grow,’ I tell her. I kick off my shoes to sit cross-legged on the bed. ‘Mum says they took you to that room again.’
‘Yes.’
‘And?’
‘And what?’
‘What did they teach you this time?’
‘Quite a lot of things,’ she says, but she knows that won’t be enough for me. ‘It was fun. We played a card game with people on the cards not numbers, so it was easy for even the younger ones to play.’
‘People?’
‘Yeah. Who did like good and bad things and you had to work it out and build teams.’
‘Let me guess, the bad people were the Cores, right?’
She looks hurt. ‘No. It wasn’t like that.’
‘Maybe not on the surface.’
Destiny suddenly jumps down from the bunk above us.
‘Room for me?’ she asks. She doesn’t give us much choice as she climbs her long limbs on to the bed. ‘I just made it from my bunk all the way to yours without touching the ground.’ She’s brought a tiny bag with her, which she unzips and from it tips a few bits of make up on to the mattress. ‘They can take away our mirrors,’ she says, ‘but I want to keep looking good.’
‘How come they let you keep this?’ I ask.
‘I said it was my time-of-the-month kit. They didn’t dare look past the tampons to see what was underneath.’
‘You’re a genius,’ I say. ‘Albeit a crazy brave one.’
‘They’re not going to stop me being who I want to be.’ Destiny laughs as she picks up an eyebrow pencil. ‘Who wants to go first?’
Lilli looks in awe, as though some sort of goddess has just landed from the ceiling.
‘Me?’ she asks.
‘No,’ I say, holding out a hand to stop Destiny. ‘The Traditionals hate it, you know they do. They want to ban it.’
‘But they haven’t banned it yet.’ Destiny smiles. ‘We’ll have to skip the foundation, though, as mine will look mighty strange on your skin.’
‘I don’t want you to,’ I tell Lilli. ‘Mum’ll freak.’ I can see hesitation begin to find its way into her eyes. ‘It’s not safe enough.’
‘It is,’ she says. ‘I know them better now. They won’t really mind.’
Destiny understands the look I give her. ‘I think your sister’s right,’ she says. ‘I don’t want to put you at risk.’
Lilli shrugs, but she doesn’t even try to hide her disappointment.
‘When we get out,’ Destiny tells her. ‘I’ll give you a proper makeover. Deal?’
‘Deal,’ Lilli smiles.
‘And until then you two can practise on me.’ Destiny passes me a pencil and Lilli some eye shadow. ‘I’ll do this first.’ She squeezes a tube and dark cream swirls on to her finger. ‘But you can do the rest.’
‘You can’t be that frightened of them if you’re putting it on still,’ Lilli says, as Destiny closes her eyes and ru
bs foundation into her cheeks and across her forehead.
‘Well, I figure that if they don’t want me to wear it, then they can ask nicely and I’ll take it off.’
‘I’m not sure they understand the word nice,’ I remind her.
‘Then we’d better teach them the meaning of it,’ she laughs. ‘Right, eyebrows first.’ She holds her face towards us. ‘Do your worst.’
‘Okay. Hold still,’ I say, as I start to line the pencil over Destiny’s eyebrows. ‘Lilli was just telling me what they get up to in that room.’
‘Where they teach you things?’ Destiny asks her.
‘They get to do games and all sorts,’ I say.
Lilli looks down at the tight blue powder in the tiny compact and she starts to swirl it loose with the mini make-up brush.
‘It’s good,’ Lilli says.
Destiny faces towards her and closes her eyes. ‘Your turn. Go crazy with that powder.’
Lilli smiles and starts to colour in Destiny’s eyelids. She seems so unlike my little sister, yet more like her than ever. Already she’s lost weight, her skin falling closer to the bones in her face, but she seems more vital, somehow, that her essence has been sharpened.
‘Did they tell you more about the Trad policies and things?’ Destiny asks. ‘Some of the stuff they say is quite interesting.’
‘They’re going to stop knife crime so we all feel safer,’ Lilli says.
‘That’s good,’ Destiny says.
‘They showed us a film about gangs and things. It was really scary.’
‘The younger ones watched it?’ I ask, trying to keep my voice as calm as Destiny’s.
‘Yes, but they told us that things weren’t going to be like that any more.’
‘I reckon that eye’s done.’ Destiny blinks. ‘How’s it looking so far?’ She pouts at us.
‘Great,’ I say.
‘Good job, Lilli,’ she says. ‘Next one, then.’
Lilli concentrates hard. She has the same expression as when she does her homework at the kitchen table and I have to swallow hard to stop myself from crying.
‘Any other pearls of wisdom they’ve told you?’ Destiny asks her.
‘They said that sometimes apples can look really good but when you bite into them the core is rotten. And they said maybe bits of the Core party are like that.’
‘Clever,’ I say, trying and failing to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.
‘Well, Lilli,’ Destiny says, as she opens her eyes again. ‘That could be true of any political party or any person. You’ve got to really look deep into people. You’ve got to think about everything they say and do and everything they stand for. Not just a bit of it, but all of it. And if you don’t like what you see or hear, then you’ve got to question it. You know you can talk to me, or Ruby, or your mum about any of it.’
Lilli nods as she listens to every word. I feel a bit annoyed with myself that I haven’t managed to tell her all this. She’s my sister, but I’ve been so scared and angry about how much she might be believing the Trads, that I’ve let my words get tangled before I say them properly.
‘Now, as you did such a good job of the eyes,’ Destiny says, ‘you’re in control of the mascara.’ Lilli looks nervous as I pass it to her, but Destiny just smiles. ‘If you go wrong, I’ll wipe it off and start again. It’s not like we’ve got anything else to do.’
‘Okay,’ Lilli says, as she opens the mascara tube.
‘Are you doing all this for Luke?’ I ask Destiny, before I think to stop myself.
‘Doing what for Luke?’ Destiny asks. She genuinely looks like I’ve said the strangest thing. ‘You think I fancy him?’
‘I don’t know.’ I feel stupid now. Like a jealous girl in primary school or something. I want to make an excuse about how this horrible hunger is ripping apart my brain.
Destiny smiles. ‘I like girls, Ruby.’
‘You do?’
‘I thought you knew,’ she says.
‘No.’
‘I guess our paths don’t really cross at school.’ She closes her eyes so that Lilli can start on the mascara. ‘But it’s even more reason for the Trads to hate me. Imagine, black and gay and with make up on,’ she laughs.
Lilli stops. ‘Are you afraid they’ll find out?’
Destiny opens her eyes again.
‘It’ll take more than their small minds to bring me down. And just for the record,’ she says, laughing, ‘I don’t fancy either of you two either.’
I leave Lilli telling Destiny all about the Tight-Knits and the trouble she and her friends had when they started secondary, but how they managed to stick together. As I cross the room, I think about Destiny’s advice to her about prejudice and wonder if Lilli can use it to see more clearly about the Trads.
‘Hey,’ I say to Darren. ‘Room for me?’
‘Always room for you, Rubes,’ he says, moving up to make space next to him on the floor. I nearly make some smart comment about how I hope I’m not interrupting him as he looks so busy, but I can tell he’s not in the mood.
‘You okay?’ I ask.
‘Been better.’ There’s a bit of blood on his thumb from where he’s been biting his nails. It’s something he never does at home. ‘I never thought I’d actually want to be at work.’
‘I never thought I’d miss school.’
Darren laughs lightly, but it makes me more sad than anything. I look over to where Stan is making funny faces to try to entertain some children. He’s somehow even got Zamal and Rimi smiling away in the middle of them.
‘Where do you think the Trads have taken their mum and sisters?’
Darren glances at them too.
‘Do you want the answer I’d give Lilli, or what I really think?’
‘What you really think.’
‘I’m wondering why the only kids who have been taken are twins.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t know. It’s just something that Mr and Mrs Jesenska said, but I’m hoping they’re wrong.’ His voice is so quiet that I can barely hear it.
‘Darren, what is it?’
He breathes in deeply. ‘Twins are useful in experiments.’
‘Experiments?’
‘If we’re on some sort of trial, as they say, who better to test their theories on than twins?’
‘Test on?’
‘Leave one neutral and try things on the other.’
‘What things?’
‘We haven’t proof of anything, but they may try to alter their thoughts somehow. Really brainwash them.’
‘Could they physically hurt them?’
I can tell that Darren doesn’t want to answer. ‘I think the Trads are capable of anything. The bottom line is that they don’t want any Core voters to exist.’
His words are too heavy. My brain literally can’t hold them.
‘We can’t stay here, Darren. Even if there’s a small chance they’re doing stuff like that we have to get out of here.’
‘It’s not as easy as that.’
‘We could try to escape,’ I say quietly. ‘Like those people want to?’
‘I wouldn’t go with them. They’re not planning things properly.’
‘But you’d try it another way?’
‘Perhaps. If I really thought I could do it.’
‘How, though?’
‘I’m not sure.’
‘Are there always guards in the watchtower?’
‘I think so, from what I’ve seen. And there’s no break in the fence, or other way in and out apart from the main gate where the coaches enter and leave.’
‘When I was in the general’s office I looked across the back of the camp, but there’s no obvious way out there either.’
‘Maybe we just have to keep looking, Ruby. There’s got to be something.’
‘But what if there’s not?’
Darren doesn’t answer. Instead he puts his arm around me and, as I curl into him and pull my legs close to my body, I thin
k that if I can make myself small enough I could fall through the cracks of this camp. No guards will see me then as I slip through and roll away.
Luke finally comes back just as we’re lining up in the bunk room to go to supper. The skin on his knuckles is bleeding slightly and he feels like an ice block when I hug him.
‘I’m glad you didn’t come,’ he tells me. ‘They made us rip up every single bit of weed between paving stones.’
‘It still would’ve been nice to be with you.’ But his eyes are so mixed up with an anger I’ve never seen in him before that I have to look away.
As we’re herded down the stairs, I’m wondering where the twins are. Could the Jesenskas and Darren be right? It makes hideous sense and as we trudge outside I’m finding it hard to imagine another reason why they’ve gone.
At least in the dining room I can concentrate on the food instead, even though there seems to be less of it than yesterday. One sausage each and the smallest portion of potato. I end up sitting opposite Luke and he’s got his knife and fork in the wrong hands. I can’t work out whether it’s because it’ll make him go slower, so it’ll seem like there’s more food. He smears his mash flat and smooths the top with his fork, before he draws something on it.
He raises one eyebrow at me and when he turns his plate I can see that he’s drawn a heart. It settles as far as my bones. Because among the hideous strangeness of this place, I’ve got Luke.
‘Eat your food,’ his dad whispers angrily to him.
‘Yessir,’ Luke salutes, his fork in the air, before he scoops up my heart.
CHAPTER NINE
‘Too many of you have been forgotten for far too long. Left to rot among policies that do not work. You deserve better than this. You have our promise that with us you will prosper.’ – John Andrews, leader of the Traditional Party
Gunshots shatter my dreams. I sit bolt upright and feel for Lilli in the dark.
‘What’s wrong?’ she asks, sleep weighed in her voice.
My heart is beating so hard against my skin that it hurts.
There’s shuffling, talking in the room.
‘It’s okay,’ I say to her.
More gunshots.
‘What the hell is that?’ a man asks.
‘Jesus,’ I hear Darren say and it sounds like he’s crawling from under the bed.
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