Jaffle Inc

by Heide Goody

  AN INDIVIDUAL IS ON THE DOORSTEP OF HER HOUSE, URGING SOMEONE INSIDE TO RETRIEVE THE PONIES, BUT THE DOOR IS SLAMMED SHUT AS THE WHALE SURGES DOWN THE STREET.

  FLOWER BEDS ARE TRAMPLED. THE WALLS OF HOUSES ARE SCRAPED BY THE PASSING OF THE MASSIVE WHALE.

  MEDIA DRONES CIRCLE ABOVE THE WHALE. CARS SWERVE TO AVOID COLLISIONS AS THE WHALE TAKES TO ONE OF THE PREMIUM ROADS. LANE AFTER LANE OF TRAFFIC IS RENDERED STATIONARY.

  OTHER UNITS HAVE JOINED THE BODY.

  JAFFLE SWARMS HAVE BEEN PULLED IN. WITH INSECT EYES, THE WHALE REGARDS ITSELF. THE TAIL SWOOSHES AND THE WHALE LOOKS VERY MUCH AS THOUGH IT’S LEAPING THROUGH WATER. THE WHALE LOVES SWIMMING.

  ANIMALS HAVE JOINED THE BODY OF THE WHALE. PETS, LIVESTOCK. ANYTHING FITTED WITH A CHIP CAN HEAR THE SONG.

  THE WHALE PASSES A CITY ZOO. INDIVIDUALS PANIC AS A RIOTOUS UPRISING OF ZOO ANIMALS ENSUES. ANIMALS BREAK FREE OF THEIR ENCLOSURES AND PENS. ELEPHANTS AND HIPPOPOTAMUSES STAMPEDE TO JOIN THE WHALE. KANGAROOS BOUND BETWEEN AND AMONG THEM. BIG PREDATORY CATS, SOLITARY HUNTERS, FIND UNITY IN THE BODY OF THE WHALE. TROPICAL BIRDS AND SNAKES BECOME A VISIBLE PART OF THE WHALE’S WAKE.

  THE WHALE SWIMS WITH JOYFUL FLICKS OF ITS TAIL ALONG THE PREMIUM ROAD. WHALE SWIMS THROUGH A SEA OF CARS. THE SWARM COMPONENTS OF THE WHALE CAPTURE THE EXPRESSIONS ON THE FACES OF THE CARS’ OCCUPANTS. DISBELIEF AND PANIC IS EVERYWHERE ON THE FACES OF INDIVIDUALS.

  “SWIM LIKE A WHALE! BE LIKE A WHALE! JOIN US, WE’RE GOING TO SWIM AWAY!”

  THE WHALE IS CLOSE TO THE ACTUAL OCEAN AS THE ROAD SWINGS ROUND, HUGGING THE COAST. AS THE ROAD DROPS, THE WHALE TAKES THE EXIT TO THE BAY.

  “SWIM LIKE A WHALE! ACROSS THE SEA!”

  THE WHALE DOESN’T STOP. IT MOVES ALONG A WIDE PIER, ONCE A FISHING PIER, NOW OCCUPIED ONLY BY STROLLING INDIVIDUALS. THEY SCATTER AT THE APPROACH OF THE WHALE. ITS TAIL FLICKS ARE HUGE NOW. THE UNIT CAN SMELL THE OCEAN. THE WHALE CAN SMELL THE OCEAN. AS IT REACHES THE END, THE WHALE DIVES OFF IN A PERFECT ARC.

  THE UNIT DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO SWIM BUT THE WHALE KNOWS HOW TO SWIM. THE UNIT MOVES WITH OTHERS, LINKING ARMS, LIFTED BY A HIPPOPOTAMUS. THE WHALE SWIMS OUT. JAFFLE SHARKS MOVE TO INTERCEPT THE WHALE AND BECOME PART OF IT.

  BOATS AND DRONES ARE LAUNCHED TOWARDS THE WHALE. PARTS OF THE WHALE ARE HAULED OUT OF THE WATER. THE INDIVIDUALS IN BOATS DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE TIGERS. THE TIDE IS COMING IN AND UNITS AND ANIMALS ARE BEING WASHED ASHORE.

  STRONG ARMS GRASP THE UNIT AND PULL THE UNIT INTO A BOAT.

  ***

  Chapter 37

  “SWIM LIKE A WHALE,” THE UNIT MURMURS.

  THE UNIT’S FEET FLIP AND FLOP ON THE HOSPITAL TROLLEY.

  A SEDATIVE IS INJECTED IN THE UNIT’S ARM. THE UNIT DOES NOT REGISTER IT. THE UNIT DOES NOT RESPOND. THE UNIT MURMURS WEAKLY, HER FEET FLIPPING ON A HOSPITAL TROLLEY.

  “GOING TO NEED SOME HELP FROM A TECHIE,” AN INDIVIDUAL SHOUTS TO COLLEAGUE. “NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE.”

  “GLITCHY UPGRADE?” SAID THE COLLEAGUE INDIVIDUAL.

  A SCREEN SHOWS DATA ON THE UNIT’S VITAL SIGNS.

  “CALL JAFFLE,” SAYS AN INDIVIDUAL.

  “TRIED. THEY’RE IN TOTAL LOCKDOWN. RECEPTION TOLD ME THEY HAVE A BIG ROLLOUT SCHEDULED FOR TODAY. ALL OF THEIR EXPERTS ARE DEPLOYED IN THE FIELD, WHATEVER THE HELL THAT MEANS. I GOT CUT OFF AND NOW I CAN’T GET BACK THROUGH.”

  “I BET EVERYONE AND HIS DOG ARE CALLING UP TO ASK ABOUT THIS SHITSTORM ON THE NEWS. IT DOESN’T LOOK GOOD FOR THEM.”

  “DOESN’T ALTER THE FACT THAT WE’VE GOT PATIENTS TO TREAT AND WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE’RE DEALING WITH HERE.”

  THERE IS A LOT OF NOISE AROUND THE UNIT. EVERY BED, CUBICLE AND TROLLEY IS FULL. INDIVIDUALS ARE WORKING TO HANDLE THE ENORMOUS INFLUX. THE INDIVIDUALS DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

  “WE NEED TO WAIT FOR JAFFLE TO GET BACK TO US WITH SOME ADVICE.”

  “ARE YOU KIDDING? WE’RE TURNING AMBULANCES AWAY AT THE DOOR. WE CAN’T WASTE ANY MORE TIME. WE NEED TO TRY SOMETHING. I SAY WE ROLL EVERYONE BACK TO THE LAST KNOWN BACKUP. I CAN SEE NO REASON WHY IT WOULD CAUSE ANY HARM. JOHNSON?”

  INDIVIDUALS CONSULT WITH ONE ANOTHER.

  THE UNIT WIGGLES FEET AND SINGS THE SONG OF THE WHALE. THE WHALE HAS DISPERSED BUT IT IS STILL THE WHALE.

  “—IF IT APPEARS TO BE SUCCESSFUL THEN THEY WILL REPEAT ON THE OTHERS. THIS … ALICE TENNERMAN. DO HER FIRST.”

  “VITAL SIGNS ARE STABLE. PATIENT HAS A BACKUP FROM SIX WEEKS AGO.”

  THE UNIT RECEIVES A NOTIFICATION. THE UNIT IS TO HAVE HER BRAIN STATE RESTORED TO ITS BACKUP STATE FROM TWENTY DAYS AGO.

  AN INDIVIDUAL RUNS THROUGH THE PROCEDURE FOR BACKUP RESTORE WITH THE COLLEAGUE. AS THEY TALK, THE UNIT FEELS THE SAME PROCESS BEING CARRIED OUT VIA HER JAFFLE PORT.

  “PROCEDURE COMPLETE. CONTINUE TO MONITOR VITALS,” SAYS THE INDIVIDUAL.

  THE DOCTOR MOVES ON TO THE NEXT PATIENT.

  ***

  Chapter 38 – 19th June

  I wondered what that funny smell was. I lifted my head and saw I was on a trolley, like the ones in hospitals. No, I was in hospital. I lifted a corner of the metallic blanket covering me and found I was wearing coveralls, like an Empty. Oh. Wow. I’d being plipped or something very much like it.

  My memories were vague, like a fading dream. I clutched at them. There had definitely been something to do with the blue whale. Where was it? I’d been singing, it had been beautiful, but now the whale was gone. I missed it, even though it could be really annoying. I lay still, trying to work out what was happening.

  “Vitals good. We got a backup from a month ago,” said a voice from nearby.

  Someone with a white coat leaned over the trolley near my feet. Were hospitals always this crowded? It seemed as though every available space contained someone with a metallic blanket like mine.

  “Restore done. Monitor vitals. Moving on.”

  Something serious must have happened if we were all being restored from our last viable backup. Luckily for me, my backup was from before I was a plipped to Empty status. I figured I shouldn’t be shouting about that. From what I could see most of the patients seemed to be wearing pink coveralls, so the expected outcome would be for everyone to still be an Empty. I kept still. The doctors moved down the lines – so many people! I waited until they were a good distance away before slipping off the trolley.

  My clothes were dry but there was a dirty – salty? – stiffness to them. Had I been swimming?

  Out in the corridor, I saw an object: a broom. I picked it up instinctively. An Empty with a broom was as invisible and non-threatening as it was possible to be. I adopted a shambling gait and left the building as quickly as I could manage.

  I moved out into the area surrounding the park, shuffling along the paths through the trees, sweeping bark and fallen leaves. Pushing the broom was therapeutic. There was a cadence in the noise and the motion that recalled something of the blue whale. It helped me sift through my more recent memories. My software had been rolled back to a previous setting, but the memories I had formed in recent weeks were intact. It was odd to have memories from the time when I was an Empty.

  I pushed the broom along and remembered Claire mocking me. I gripped the broom and imagined it was her scrawny neck. She was going to feel my wrath at some point soon.

  I remembered what had happened to Hattie, and also that she had been in Levi’s basement. I smiled, knowing she was safe. And I almost stopped in my tracks when I remembered the things Levi had said to us.

  I remembered Helberg promising he would find a way to help. If anyone had the technical know-how to foil Jaffle’s dreadful plans, it was Helberg. I also remembered the police taking him. No, they were Jaffle security. I remembered what they’d said.

  How long ago that was, I had no idea. I jipped the time. Accessing the time and date was odd, like stretching a muscle I hadn’t used in a long time.

  “Crumbs!” I said out loud.

  ***

  Chapter 39 – 1 hour and 56 minutes until Operation Sunrise

  I had no t
ime at all.

  There were less than two hours until Operation Sunrise was rolled out. Everyone would be downgraded, Jaffle Freedom to Jaffle Premium, Premium to Enhanced, Enhanced to Standard, Lite to the restricted service of the Empties. Hattie and the others at the North Beach arcology had already been downgraded, her dreams snuffed out. But maybe there was some way to stop the rollout, to undo what had been done.

  I recalled Rufus Jaffle at the charity gala. The man wanted a big red button to launch the rollout. Clearly Jaffle headquarters was where I needed to be. Hattie evidently still worked there, and it was certainly where Jaffle security would take Helberg. Maybe I could get him to help Operation Sunrise if I could get him out. Or maybe we just needed to get into Rufus’s office and stop a hand from pressing that button.

  I had to think quickly. And I had to move quickly. I marched towards the edge of the parkland, carrying the broom. It was important. If I had the broom and the pink coveralls of an Empty, nobody would stop me from getting onto Jaffle Park. But, then again, I couldn’t do the slow Empty shuffle if I was going to get there in time.

  I jipped for a car.

  Then I recalled Jaffle Tech was probably tracking me right now. If their systems spotted Alice Tennerman was no longer an Empty, they’d have me captured and returned to Empty status as soon as possible.

  I looked up fearfully at the sky, expecting a Jaffle swarm to be observing me at that very moment.

  I moved back into the cover of a eucalyptus tree and sat down with my back to the trunk. I really didn’t know what to do.

  “Blue whale?” I called out cautiously.

  There was no reply.

  “I could really use your help right now.”

  There was no blue whale, no singing lunatic creature swimming through the sky. It was completely gone. The backup restore had probably wiped it. The whale had been annoying – really annoying – but it had also been quite fabulous while it lasted, the feeling of being interconnected with all of the other Empties, and the animals too.

  There was a grey wisp in the sky ahead. I couldn’t tell if it was a Jaffle swarm or just my imagination. I tried to put it out of my mind.

  Michael from legal – that slimy creep – had talked about the Jaffle Port’s capacity for silent instantaneous communication. Jaffle’s protocols directed all traffic, every jip, through its own systems. Information flowed through the gateways it had set up. Whether it was borrowed brain processing power or information requests, Jaffle Tech was the gatekeeper. The blue whale, the collective we had all joined, hadn’t hijacked the gateways, it had simply ridden over the walls. Demolished them even.

  I hummed to myself. Had it demolished the walls? Had it shown us all the way?

  I looked at the Jaffle swarm. I stretched my mind, almost convinced the superpower of collective consciousness was still in my reach. There was a small pop right at the edge of my conscious mind, just the tiniest flicker of sensation. I recoiled with shock.

  I wasn’t sure what it was, or whether it was related to me stretching my whale-mind muscles. Should I be nervous of trying again? Probably. Would it stop me doing it? Probably not.

  I reached out with my mind, gently but more persistence. I felt the pop again, and this time I didn’t pull back. I reached further, and found the Jaffle swarm. I wasn’t entirely sure how I knew what it was, but I was utterly certain it was a Jaffle swarm. I flexed it to make sure. The swarm immediately responded, flexing in just the way I had pictured, as if it was making a detour around an invisible object. I reached out and pulled it in. I didn’t command, I coaxed; I asked.

  The swarm descended on me.

  They were little Jaffle wasps. Some swarms were bees. A few were flying beetles. The Jaffle wasps circled me. I held out an arm and they swirled round it like a whirlpool. Despite the horribleness of the global situation, I laughed. I could connect with other minds that had Jaffle Ports. I was doing it without additional tools or enabling software.

  It was time to act.

  As soon as I’d got my breath back, I sent out another tentative mind-feeler, to see if I could find an Empty. I had no trouble at all, and found two. They were nearby, standing listlessly at the corner of the parkland. I called them to me.

  Moments later, I saw the distinctive pink uniforms up ahead as they shambled towards me. As they reached me, I had them turn around and share the shade of the eucalyptus tree. I reached out with a data request.

  “Hello, James. Hello, John,” I said.

  It would look better if three Empties turned up at Jaffle Park to do some maintenance, and I’d be glad of their company, but I immediately decided against it. Why sneak around? Why stop at three members of my new gang? Why not assemble an army to march upon Jaffle HQ and take the place by storm? Given how quickly the whale grew, I knew I could do it.

  I reached out again.

  A Jaffle-enabled dog bounded over. I stroked her head and skritched her under the chin.

  “You are a good dog,” I told her emphatically.

  I stood, and we began to walk to Jaffle Tech. I reached out with my mind, with my port. Every time I did it, it came a little bit more easily. I recognised some of the Empties who had been in the whale with me. They were still in the hospital. I called to them. All of them. They’d soon catch up.

  I was sorry I couldn’t see what happened as they all rose up to leave. As soon as the thought was in my mind I found I could see. The view from behind the eyes of an anonymous Empty was mine to browse. I saw doctors rushing forward with syringes of sedatives. They couldn’t keep up with the sheer number of Empties stepping down from their trollies and leaving the hospital. I was astonished how easily I could dip in and share experiences while still moving my own body forward. I wondered if the Empties could walk faster or even run to catch up with us. Turned out they could.

  They would join us soon. My mind went fishing a little further out. I found the ponies and the tigers who had been part of the whale. The tigers were quite tired, as they had swum up the coast to evade recapture. I left them where they were, snoozing in a small wooded area.

  I reached out, through the network, node to node. I found the zoo and encouraged the rest of the animals to join us.

  I reached across the city. Swarms, Empties, a thousand working dogs, a hundred Jaffle-enabled raptor birds. On the fringes of the city, Jaffle-herded cows. Nearer too, chipped pigs. The piggy-wig orchestra! In a location by the coast, a pair of kangaroos attracted my attention. I drew them in.

  We were attracting attention of our own. There was a police car ahead. A woman’s voice came through a loud-hailer.

  “Hey you! You need to stop right now! This is an illegal gathering.”

  I walked straight towards her. I held out my arms and the nearest Jaffle swarms danced in and over them.

  “Disperse right now!” ordered the police officer, voice shrill.

  “Me and my wasps are just going for a walk,” I called back. “We’re not hurting anyone.”

  I wondered what it would be like to touch the mind of someone who wasn’t an Empty. As I reached out to the police officer, there was a sharp buzzing of thoughts and hostility. It made me snatch my mind away. It wasn’t painful, but it caused some mental discomfort I really didn’t feel like repeating. I ignored her mind and ranged further, looking for more Empties.

  Another police officer leaned out of a hovering police transport drone, aiming a plipper towards us. I was surrounded by Empties who would be completely unaffected by the plipper, but I didn’t know if it would touch on me in my rebooted state.

  I casually extended a hand and the Jaffle swarm wrapped the police officer in a dense cloud. The drone veered away, harried by eagles and hawks.

  Numerous Empties tramped over the roof of the police car. It sagged with the weight, and the doors popped open. The policewoman scrambled out and tried to run away. A llama sat on her. I didn’t ask it to, but it did.

  I smiled and we marched on.

  As we neare
d Jaffle Park, there were more police cars, and a lot of other vehicles, abandoned at the sides of the road. People were being kept back behind barriers. Some of them looked as though they were from the media, no doubt wondering where their swarms had gone – who had stolen their eyes and ears on the world. They were resorting to following the story personally, transmitting their own memories and sensory feed.

  There were other people there as well. I stared as we got closer. They weren’t police. They weren’t media. They were people, like us but not like us. People like Claire who had their entire brain function.

  “Why were they here?” I wondered, and then realised they were shouting angrily.

  Objects came sailing over at our mobs: thrown trash, sticks and stones. Something struck Empty James next to me. He staggered and nearly fell. I reached out and other Empties lifted him up.

  The crowd of people weren’t just angry. They were frightened.

  “They’re scared of us,” I whispered.

  They’d spent their lives ignoring Empties, or using them as free labour. The idea that Empties might band together and decide to do something out of the ordinary was threatening. They had come to Jaffle to express their annoyance, their fear. Their pathetic jeers and uncoordinated attacks were laughable.

  I had little sympathy; our group pressed on. We crushed the barriers and most of the protestors fled in panic. There were more police and security people with loud hailers and plippers, but we marched on.

  The plippers were ineffective against those they targeted. As we pressed forward, everyone was forced to get out of our way. Jaffle automated security weapons rose from the ground, detecting a threat. Some of were intended to stop a vehicle: spiky tyre-poppers which erupted from the ground. I had the group flatten them. They looked a bit dangerous to me – I didn’t want anyone to cut themselves.

  The bots were another matter. Some were chunky versions of the low-profile cleaning bots, armed with stun weapons. They took out some of the Empties at the front, but the group took care to lift the fallen to the side. They could recover without being crushed.