‘Take the slack,’ he shouted and Alex complied, pulling the rope tight between them.
‘Come on, Rose,’ said Alex, beckoning to her.
Taking a deep breath, she stood back up and then made her way toward him carefully, leaning against the rock face and sliding along until she was beside him.
She took hold of the rope, closed her eyes and built up her courage and then jumped up onto the first rock, stepped down onto the second as she’d seen Jacob do, adjusted her balance, hopped to the third and then leapt across to Jacob, who caught her in his arms.
She stayed there for a moment, enjoying the embrace but then Alex was shouting to them.
‘This is no time for a cuddle,’ he said. ‘Get me over there.’
Rose stepped aside as Jacob took the slack again, and she began to climb up and out of the small gully, digging her feet into the mud and sliding with each step.
When she reached the top, grabbing hold of tufts of grass to pull herself out, she turned around to see that both the men were now on her side too and beginning to make their way up behind her. She waited for them and when Alex reached the top he walked over and hugged her tightly.
‘Thanks, Rose. You saved my ass.’
She hugged him back and nodded.
Jacob took the lead again with Alex bringing up the rear as they rejoined the path they had lost and continued up towards the shrouded peak. Whilst they had been moderately sheltered in the gully, the wind and the rain had picked up considerably and the thunder in the distance was much closer.
The path was more easy going now, with just a few short scrambles which were slick with rain as they made their way up and onto the flat summit. As they approached the cairn which marked the top, Rose felt disappointed, having hoped to see an inversion. She knew the chances were slim, but she had briefly imagined what a special sight it would’ve been for them to experience together, with stunning views of the Matterhorn in the distance, but today it was shrouded in mist and rain and they could barely see more than ten foot in any direction.
About a hundred metres down the path that would lead them into the valley below was a sheltered dip which Alex settled down inside. As he waited for the other two to join him, he produced a small burner and three mugs and began to make a brew.
‘I’m not liking the sound of that storm,’ said Jacob as he sat down on a small fold out mat. ‘I think we need to move on soon, its getting closer.’
Rose loosened her hood slightly and leaned forward.
‘I agree, we’re too high up,’ she said. ‘I’ve been in this situation a few times. You don’t fuck with lightning.’
’You were a badass back there, Rose,’ said Alex, stirring the coffee with a spork he had produced from the top of his pack. ‘How’s your arm?’
Rose rubbed it gently.
‘It’ll be fine,’ she said, smiling. In truth it hurt like hell, and she wondered if she might have a bruise shaped like a hand by the morning.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Alex, he was about to say something else when another flash interrupted him and a few moments later, the sound of thunder came tumbling overhead.
‘We got time to finish our coffee?’ said Alex, looking up as the rain got harder.
Jacob shrugged.
There was another flash of light and Rose counted in her head, reaching two before the rumble crashed over them.
‘I’m guessing not,’ he said. He turned off the burner and threw the mugs back into this rucksack as the others stood up.
Rose stood and turned back to look over towards the peak, and as she did she was blinded and deafened by a flash of lighting which lanced out of the sky and crashed into the ground, striking the cairn which minutes ago they had stood next to.
She screamed and covered her ears.
‘We need to go now,’ said Alex, staggering up and beckoning for her to follow, pulling Rose back by her arms and pushing her ahead of him.
‘Down this way, move. Stay low.’
As Rose’s vision returned, she saw the path that Alex was ushering her towards, but she realised too late that it was practically vertical, and as soon as she reached the edge she began to slip and sat down hard.
Alex gripped her hand and held it tight, then Jacob was sliding down next to her, feet first and gathering speed, aiming for a large rock just ahead to slow his descent.
There was another flash and a moment later a thunderous clap. It was further away but still too close for comfort.
‘We need to find somewhere to shelter now,’ said Jacob. ‘Look for a cave or an outcrop we could get under.’
Rose was still sliding from rock to rock, her bottom bruised, scraped and battered.
Alex reached out and pulled her towards him as she stepped down from a high ledge, then he picked her up by the waist and passed her to Jacob, who lowered her down further still.
She felt like a pinball, being bounced and pushed and handled by the two men as they helped her and each other down and away from the storm. She was their precious cargo and they were keeping her safe.
As she grabbed hold of a sharp handhold, something caught her eye about thirty feet below her. She called out to the two men above, but her shout was drowned out by another blinding white flash. She didn't really hear the thunder this time, but her ears were ringing so she knew it must have been close.
She felt disoriented and dizzy and a little sick and her movements were slow and confusing. She looked up to find Jacob and Alex staring down at her, also disoriented. She shouted out again, but couldn’t hear her own voice.
‘Cave,’ was all she managed.
Alex nodded and slid down past her, forging ahead and finding a path. As he approached the entrance he stopped and waited, beckoning to them.
Jacob yelled at him to get inside but his shout was lost by another crash of white hot light and sound.
Rose stumbled and slipped and Alex caught her and then he was bundling her inside, followed by Jacob.
*
The little cave was shallow and low, but there was just about enough room for all three of them to shelter inside. The entrance was raised too, which gave them a little extra protection from the howling wind and the driving rain.
‘Are you okay?’ said Jacob as they crawled inside, Rose sat down at the far end and unclipped her rucksack, rolling it off and onto the damp floor next to her. She nodded but didn’t say anything.
Jacob turned as Alex crawled further inside, reaching out his hands for his friend to pull him in.
The noise of the wind was muffled in here and they could talk more easily, but for the moment they were quiet.
Light filled the cave and another thunderous clap of lightning struck nearby making Rose jump.
‘Fuck me,’ said Alex. ‘This was not on the forecast.’
Another flash and another crash and the cave felt like it shook.
‘That was bloody close,’ said Jacob, peering out of the entrance.
Rose closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to calm herself down.
She felt someone’s hand on her leg and reached out for it, finding it and gripping it tight. She didn’t care if it was Jacob or Alex, she was just grateful for the comfort.
‘Come out to Switzerland, we’ll go camping, reconnect,’ she said, half chuckling and half shaking, her eyes still closed. She coughed and held her hand over her mouth, bending forward. ‘You didn’t mention the nearly dying in an electrical storm bit.’
‘Thought it might put you off, not the sort of thing you put in the brochure,’ said Alex. ‘Besides we’d be down in the forest now if we’d stuck with my plan.’
‘Don't blame me, you said yourself the forecast didn't predict this, and if we were down in the forest it might be worse.’
‘Sorry,’ said Alex. ‘Just blowing off steam.’
Rose glowered. ‘This isn't my fault. It's no one’s fault. I saved you, or have you forgotten that already?’
‘We’re safe now,’ said Jacob, a
lways the diplomat.
Rose stayed silent, she knew Jacob was right, but she was angry at Alex.
The cave was dark and damp and as Rose listened carefully she could hear running water.
‘How long do you think we'll be in here for?’ she said.
‘I'm not a meteorologist, but I reckon it will pass in the next hour.’
Rose pulled her hood off and shook her hair out, sighing deeply.
She felt like that last strike had hit her. She knew it hadn’t, but it had been close. Just beforehand she’d felt her skin tingling and her hair rising as the static built. She’d heard about climbers who’d been killed by lightning, laughing and photographing each other as their hair stood on end, shortly before the bolt struck. The photographs were harrowing.
Alex was unpacking his burner again and she started to relax. They were all tense, they’d been through a life threatening event and they’d come out the other side safe, that’s what she had to remember. She rubbed her face in her hands and smiled as a memory popped into her head.
‘Do you guys remember being out by the river in the field near Mrs Soubrey’s house when that storm started?’ she said.
‘When we were building that dam?’ said Alex.
‘The one that flooded half of her field?’ said Jacob, laughing.
‘That's the one. I'll never forget that first lightning strike, I clung to you so hard I think I damn near broke your arm,’ she said to Jacob.
He laughed. ‘You were pretty scared.’
‘I wasn't scared, I was with you guys,’ she said as another crash of thunder reverberated through the cave. ‘You always looked after me, even now.’
‘I remember you held my hand all the way back to your house,’ said Jacob, smiling.
‘You remember that?’ she said.
Jacob nodded, slowly.
‘First time a girl ever held my hand for longer than a few seconds,’ he said. ‘You don’t forget something like that.’
‘But it was me though?’ she said, screwing up her face. This was new to her.
Jacob shrugged. ‘You're a girl?’
‘You guys never fancied me.’ It was more of a question than a statement, at least she hoped it came across that way. She felt a familiar feeling of anxiety in her stomach as she waited for them to respond. The silence kept going.
Jacob looked at Alex then down at the floor.
Rose tilted her head.
‘You did?’ she said.
The cave flashed bright white. They waited for the rumble, looking over at the mouth, and it came a few seconds later.
‘It's passing over us,’ said Alex, as it faded. ‘That was further away.’
Rose wasn’t going to let her question go.
‘Don’t change the subject. Life threatening lightning storm aside. You liked me? When?’
‘Does it matter?’ said Jacob.
‘Yes it matters,’ said Rose.
‘Why?’
Rose didn't answer straight away. She wasn’t sure how to. She couldn’t tell them she liked them. It would be too weird right now, and she couldn’t pretend she only liked one of them either. It wouldn’t be truthful and it wouldn’t be fair. She was shocked too. Some part of her had always known that her feelings weren’t entirely unrequited, but to hear it out loud, here and now, was a surprise.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said, quietly. ‘I just want to know.’
Jacob looked down, hiding his face.
Alex smiled. ‘Last year of school,’ he said. ‘I had a huge crush on you.’
‘What?’ said Rose, turning to face him. ‘I was asking Jacob. And no you fucking didn't, you fancied Philly West.’
‘No, I told you I liked her because you kept on asking me who I liked. You kept saying that you would be my wing-girl.’
‘I was asking you because I liked you, you muppet,’ she said laughing. ‘I wanted you to say me.’
She suddenly felt extremely guilty, she’d let slip that she had liked Alex, in front of Jacob. Alex shook his head and winked. ‘And Jacob? When did you like Rose, eh?’
‘It doesn't matter,’ he said.
‘Come on, please,’ said Rose. ‘I want to know.’
But Jacob looked awkward and upset and Rose frowned.
‘What's wrong?’ she said, laughing nervously.
‘Nothing,’ he said, he shifted uncomfortably and turned away.
Alex leaned forward. ‘He's too embarrassed to tell you,’ he whispered.
‘What do you mean?’
Rose’s eyes became wild with curiosity.
‘Alex,’ snapped Jacob, but his friend leaned closer to Rose.
‘That he liked you all the way through school, and sixth form,’ said Alex.
Rose didn't reply, instead she just looked at Jacob, who looked away again.
‘Is that true?’ she said.
After a moment, Jacob nodded.
‘I'm sorry,’ she said, quietly. ‘I didn't know.’
‘Listen,’ said Alex, now feeling a little awkward. ‘Storm’s gone, I think.’
In the distance there was another rumble but it sounded far away.
‘I'll go take a look,’ said Jacob, crawling back towards the entrance.
Rose stayed back and put her arm on Alex’s shoulder. ‘Is that true?’
Alex nodded. ‘He crushed on you pretty hard, broke his heart when you left for Wales.’
Rose looked down, frowning. She hadn’t expected this. Jacob was always shy, but over the years his behaviour towards her had changed. To begin with he’d been a friend to play with in the playground, to run around and be boisterous with, like Alex. But over time he’d become more gentleman like. He’d treated her more and more like a girl, instead of one of the boys. She didn’t consider it at the time, as anything other than his personality changing. But now she understood that he had started to see her differently. Alex had too, but he’d hid it better. Perhaps for her sake, but more likely for Jacob’s.
‘You’re a good friend to him, Alex.’
She squeezed his arm and looked up at him smiling and for a brief moment she saw a look of passion in his eyes.
Jacob called from outside. ‘We’re in the clear I think.’
Alex turned toward the entrance and then looked back and extended his arm to her, pulling her up into a crouch. She followed him out and stood up straight.
Jacob was standing looking at a rock about fifteen feet above and away from them.
‘Come and look at this,’ he said, beckoning them over and pointing.
As Rose drew near she realised that she had been standing just a few metres from this spot, below the rock, when the lightning had struck.
What Jacob was pointing at was a large burnt crack that had now appeared in the structure of the rock, like a fissure opening in the ground. She reached out to touch it, running her fingers along the edge of the charred and melted stone. It was chilling.
‘Come on,’ said Alex. ‘Let’s keep going.’
Over the next hour they walked in silence, or near enough. The storm had shaken them, but Rose had been shaken emotionally by what she'd found out in the cave. She kept turning it all over in her mind. Not knowing how to piece it together, remembering moments from their childhood and playing them back in new ways, knowing now what she didn't understand back then.
Both of them had liked her.
In some way she had always known it. It was as though she had been unable to process it or see it before. As though her mind had decided that it was impossible, and had just sought out the negatives, the things that confirmed her belief that they would never feel the same way, and had filtered out the positives, along with any evidence that they did.
An hour later, as they arrived at their new camp, she found herself preoccupied with her thoughts and she drifted around helping the two men as they setup their home for the night, put up their tent (just the one tonight she noted with excitement), and built another fire pit for later, but she cou
ldn’t stop thinking.
She hadn’t been honest with them, and they hadn’t been honest with her.
Now they had been honest with her, but she hadn’t told them the truth.
That she loved them.
But she was going to. Somehow.
She must do it. But did she have the courage?
Either way, it was exciting.
Her feelings weren't unrequited, and they never had been.
*
It was late, but Rose wasn’t tired. She was much too excited to sleep and the heat was making her feel uncomfortable. The storm had created a layer of humidity and the night seemed to be warming up, not cooling down.
Alex was still outside, and she listened to him as he moved around making sure everything was away and safe.
Jacob had unzipped his sleeping bag and was dozing beside her, wearing nothing but a tight fitting pair of black boxers. Rose was finding them very distracting.
She was still finding it hard to process what they had both told her in the cave. Had she really been that oblivious? She now knew that they had liked her, at different times, and she was finding it so frustrating that they hadn't acted upon it, and that she hadn't either. But she’d assumed that they’d had brief and confused crushes.
She started to think about all those missed opportunities, afternoons spent lazing around in the woods with one of them or the other. Hours spent watching TV or playing games, huddled next to one of them or laying between them (she grinned as she thought about that). All it might have taken was a squeeze of a hand, a touch of skin, and then a kiss.
She wished she could go back.
It was getting hot and the thoughts running through her mind weren't helping. She undid her sleeping bag, laying it out flat and then shimmied out of her leggings. The cool air on her bare skin felt good. She was so glad she’d shaved her legs.
She wasn’t wearing the most attractive underwear. They weren’t high waisted granny pants, but the idea of sleeping in this heat in anything but her knickers was nauseating. Next she unclipped her bra and removed it from underneath her loose white top, tucking it under Alex’s makeshift jumper pillow.
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