by Reilly, Cora
“Are you okay?”
“Can I listen to you play?”
“Sure,” I said and started playing the song I was working on. Adamo sank down on the floor right beside the piano and stared down at the Camorra tattoo on his forearm. Questions burned on my tongue but I held them back. He’d tell me what bothered him if he felt like it. Turning away from him, I focused on the song. It was for Remo and almost done. I wanted to write songs for Adamo and Savio as well by Christmas, and give each of them their song as a present. They had everything money could buy, so maybe they’d appreciate the gift.
I’d been playing the song twice when Adamo interrupted me in dark whisper. “Nino talked to me about our mother today.”
I froze.
Adamo looked up, his eyes full of misery. “Did you know?”
I swallowed, got up and made my way over to him before sinking to the floor beside him. “Nino told me what happened. He had to because of his emotional state.”
Adamo nodded. “Why didn’t they tell me sooner?”
“They wanted to protect you. The truth is difficult to stomach.”
“I can’t believe she tried to kill my brothers.”
“And you. She would have killed you by taking her own life.”
Adamo nodded. “I don’t get it. I want to understand.” He looked at me.
“Some things are beyond comprehension.” I covered his hand with mine.
“She’s still alive. I thought she died years ago. I ... I don’t know how I feel knowing she’s somewhere.”
I didn’t know what to say. It was hard to imagine how Adamo felt. How would I feel if I suddenly found out my father wasn’t dead but locked up in a mental institution?
“I said so many shitty things to Remo because I just didn’t understand how he could be that way, but now I get it.”
“Some things change us, and no matter how hard we try to forget the past, some things just stay with us.”
Adamo wrapped his arms loosely around his legs and regarded me with a small smile. “I’m glad you’re part of our family. You never judge me when I talk to you.”
“I have no right to judge you or anyone.”
Adamo laughed. “That doesn’t stop most people from dishing out judgement all the time.”
“I know,” I said quietly, remembering how I’d been judged for my father’s betrayal in the Famiglia, and how many still judged me for being Durant’s victim. Many people tried to make sense of it by blaming the victim. I understood that now.
“You’re part of the Camorra now. Nobody will judge you openly anymore,” Adamo said.
Early December I started decorating our wing and the main areas of the mansion and the garden with Christmas lights, baubles and tinsel. Savio and Adamo had bought a Christmas tree and set it up in the gaming room at my request.
“This is the first time we’ve had a Christmas tree in ... fuck ... I don’t even remember how long,” Savio said as he stood in front of the tall tree.
Adamo nodded. “I think I was six or seven, and Remo got that ugly silver plastic tree.”
“The stupid thing almost burnt us to the ground because the cable was broken,” Savio said with a laugh.
“Yeah.” Adamo laughed too, and they exchanged an amused look.
My heart swelled. “Will you help me decorate it?” I pointed at the box with baubles and tinsel.
Savio looked at Adamo, then both nodded.
“What do we get in return?”
“Cookies?” I suggested.
“Deal.”
Adamo frowned. “I don’t get how you can stomach all that sweet stuff. And you call me pussy.”
Savio gave him the finger. “The fucking cigarettes probably burnt away your taste buds.”
I pushed the box over to them. “Hey, focus on the task at hand. Can you get the ladder for me, Adamo?”
He trudged off toward the storage and returned with the ladder and set it down in front of the tree. “How about you two decorate the lower part while I take care of the top?” I climbed the ladder. It shook and Adamo quickly steadied it. “I can hold it while you’re up there.”
“Thanks.” I climbed up more, trying to decide how to arrange everything.
Savio scoffed. “I get cookies and Adamo gets booty.”
I glanced between him and Adamo whose face was turning red.
“What?”
Savio gestured at my backside. “Adamo checked out your ass. He seems to enjoy the sight.”
“I didn’t ...” Adamo glared at his brother then smiled apologetically at me. “I mean ... I didn’t check out your ass ... but it’s fine, your backside I mean ...”
Savio cracked up. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, shut up,” he got out between laughter. “You really need to grow a pair. Kiara knows she’s got a fine ass. I think we can all agree on that.”
“I’m glad my wife’s behind meets your requirements,” Nino drawled from the doorway, arms crossed and a smirk on his face.
I blinked and my shoulders started shaking as I fought giggles and almost fell off the ladder. Adamo tried to steady me and grabbed my hips and briefly brushed my upper butt. He quickly released me and Nino was already at my side. “I’m sorry,” Adamo said quickly.
“It’s okay. Thanks for your help.”
“Nice catch,” Savio said. “Next time it’s my turn to hold the ladder.”
Adamo hissed something under his breath, causing Savio to grin even wider. I watched the two brothers walk off, bickering.
Nino regarded the tree then touched my waist. “If Savio or Adamo do or say something that bothers you, tell them.”
I shook my head. “I don’t mind, honestly. In the beginning, I wasn’t sure how to handle Savio. Now I’ve gotten used to his sense of humor.”
Nino gave me a small smile. “I’m glad that you get along so well with my brothers, even Remo.”
“They are my family and I care about them.”
Nino wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against his chest.
The way he looked at me, I finally gathered my courage. “I was thinking ... maybe I can stop taking the pill in the new year.”
Realization settled on Nino’s face. “You want to get pregnant?”
“Yes. I always wanted to be a mother. I know we’ve been married for only eight months but it can take a while so...” I suddenly worried about having brought it up. Things with Remo still were difficult after all.
Nino’s face was frozen with surprise. Then he kissed my mouth. “If that’s what you want, then we’ll try for a baby.”
“Really?”
I pressed my face against Nino’s chest, smiling.
Nino touched the back of my head and murmured, “But you need to know something about me before you decide to have my child.”
I pulled back. “What do you mean?”
Nino’s eyes reflected hesitation. “Even before the thing with my mother, I wasn’t quite normal. I had emotional deficits from the start.”
I regarded Nino curiously. “You were closed off?”
“That, and I had trouble understanding and reading other people’s emotions. I was a quiet kid, and got stressed when I had to deal with crowds. I preferred to spend hours figuring out mathematical problems.”
“Were you ever tested?”
Nino shook his head. “You mean for some form of Aspergers or something similar?”
I nodded. Some of what Nino described could maybe be associated with something of the sort.
“I don’t see how that would have changed things for me. My emotional deficiency became an advantage, and it wasn’t as obvious before the incident with my mother.”
“Okay,” I said softly. “And you worry that a child might inherit your condition?”
“It’s possible. We could do a test.”
I touched Nino’s chest. “No, I’ll accept and love our child no matter what. This is part of who you are and if a child inherits it, then that’s how it’s meant to be.”
Nino looked at me for a long time and then he tilted his head, bringing my hand up and pressing a kiss to my wrist.
CHAPTER 10
NINO
My mind had been going over my last conversation with Kiara for the last two days and even as I climbed into the cage for my fight training with Remo, it was still very much at the forefront of my mind. I’d always known that marriage would lead to children eventually. I wanted them for the name Falcone to live on and right now I was the only one of my brothers who had a woman who was capable of becoming a good mother. I didn’t have a single doubt in my mind that Kiara would be a wonderful, caring mother.
Remo climbed into the cage. He looked eager for a fight. I was distracted and Remo landed a few hard hits in my side and stomach in the first few minutes before I used an opening and rammed my knee into his kidney. He jumped back with a groan, then did a roundhouse kick, which I barely managed to avoid.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I held up my palm to stop the fight. “It’s Kiara.”
Remo frowned. “Is it because of yesterday?”
“Yesterday?”
Confusion showed on Remo’s face. “She asked me to train with her, had me chase her through the house.”
Kiara was getting more confident. It was reassuring to know that she was really taking her fight training seriously. “I assume it’s because she wants to be able to defend future children.”
Remo narrowed his eyes and leaned back against the mesh. “So, is she pregnant?”
“Not yet. She’ll stop taking the pill in January.”
“She told me she wants kids.”
My eyebrows rose. “She talked to you?”
He shrugged. “I got the feeling she was worried if I’d be okay with kids in the mansion.”
I looked at my brother, the scar on his face and his forearms. Scars from defending me and our brothers against our mother. Then the scars on the rest of his body, many he suffered in the time we were in hiding, fights that put food on our table. “And are you?”
He gave me a wry smile, which I returned.
“If anyone can be a good mother, then it’s Kiara,” he said. “She’s like a fucking mother hen, even to me.” He shook his head.
Kiara loved taking care of others. “Our children will be lucky to have her as a mother.”
“You’ll be a good father, too. Even when you didn’t feel a fucking thing, you managed to raise Adamo and Savio with me, and look how well they turned out, the little shits.” He grinned twistedly. “The house is big enough even if you decide to have ten kids.”
“Maybe you’ll have kids at some point as well?”
Remo’s face shut down. “No, I don’t have the necessary patience for a woman. I’m better off fucking whores.”
I narrowed my eyes at him in thought. We both knew there was a woman he couldn’t forget. Bringing her up would have led to a disagreement I wasn’t in the mood for.
Remo pushed away from the cage. “What about that fight you promised me?”
I prepared my tattoo machine in one of Savio’s vacant rooms, not wanting Kiara to overhear the sound of the needle.
When everything was in its place, I sat down and propped my left arm up on the table in front of me and turned on the machine. Savio leaned in the doorway and watched in silence as I began to outline Kiara’s name on my wrist over the scars and amidst the flames, then added a few music notes before I started filling each letter with ink.
“I never thought you could care about a girl,” Savio said. “And now you’re tattooing a name into your skin.”
I briefly glanced up from my work. “I don’t think it would have come this far with any woman but Kiara. She’s ...” I couldn’t even find the right word to describe Kiara properly, and I was rarely rendered speechless.
“Yeah,” Savio murmured. “That girl makes it fucking hard to dislike her, and I put so much effort into it in the beginning. All for nothing.” He flashed me a grin. “She’s the only girl I talk to more than a few sentences without getting at least a blow job as reward.”
I cocked an eyebrow.
“Jealous?” he asked.
“Jealousy requires an aspect of insecurity. I know Kiara is only mine.”
“And people call me arrogant.”
Sighing, I returned to the task.
“I’ve been thinking about getting another tattoo.”
“Not a girl’s name, I assume,” I said dryly.
Savio scoffed. “The girl that puts a leash on me hasn’t been born yet.”
“What kind of tattoo do you have in mind?”
Savio grinned. “A bull’s head.”
“Where?” I asked suspiciously. Knowing Savio, I had a good guess where he’d want that kind of tattoo.
One corner of Savio’s mouth curled.
“That’s going to be quite painful.”
Savio gave me a so-what look. “I can deal with pain.”
“Will you add a piercing to make the image complete?”
“Nah, I’m not so keen on piercing my dick.”
“I can start drawing up a few images and you can decide which one you’d prefer. If you want the tattoo to cover your entire pelvis and lower belly, we’ll need a few sessions to get it done.”
“I know. I witnessed the progression of your artwork, remember?”
“I should warn you that a tattoo in that area might stop your recreational activities for a couple of weeks, or at least make them quite uncomfortable.”
“We’ll see.”
Shaking my head, I returned to working on my tattoo. I wanted to get it done today to surprise Kiara with it as a sort of early Christmas present.
KIARA
I got up right after sunrise to cook and bake everything for Christmas eve. This was our first Christmas together and I wanted it to be special. The Panettone dough was allowed to rise while I got everything done for the lamb roast. I didn’t have much experience preparing meat. Nino and his brothers loved lamb so I wanted to surprise them with it. After calling Giulia and wishing her a merry Christmas, I set out to work. Luckily, she could give me a few tips to guarantee the success of my cooking endeavor.
It was close to dinner time and I had changed into a floor-length red evening dress and was setting and decorating the dining table when Nino came in, dressed in form-fitting black pants and a black dress shirt with the top buttons undone, giving view to his colorful tattoos. His eyes took in the table with the red candles, gold-colored napkins and silverware.
“You should have asked one of us for help. It’s too much work,” he murmured as he ran a hand down my side until it came to rest on my hip. “And you look absolutely stunning.”
Smiling, I shrugged. “I love cooking and decorating, so it doesn’t feel like work. And thank you, you look very good too.”
“I have something for you. Part of your Christmas present.”
I hadn’t been sure if Nino was the type to give presents. He and his brothers hadn’t really celebrated Christmas in the last few years, at least not in any traditional way.
Nino stretched out his left arm and rolled up his sleeve, revealing a new tattoo: my name amidst music notes.
My breath caught in my throat as I took in the beautiful ink-art. “When did you do this?”
“This morning. You were busy cooking so I used the chance.”
I reached out to trace the letters then stopped myself. If Nino had inked it only this morning, the skin must be still tender.
“It’s okay, you can touch it.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
Nino smiled wryly. “Kiara, it’s nothing.”
Nodding, I very lightly traced the skin under the tattoo, trying to keep my emotions under control. I’d just put on make-up and didn’t want to ruin it with tears. “Thank you. It’s a wonderful present. I know how important your tattoos are to you, and having my name on your skin with your brothers ... it means a lot.”
&nb
sp; Nino cupped my face and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. “You and my brothers are all that matters in this life. I want you close at all times, even if it’s only in name.”
I blinked. “Don’t make me cry.”
He frowned. “I have no intention of making you cry.”
“I know.” I laughed and blew out a breath. “What time is it? Fabiano and Leona are supposed to arrive at six.”
“We still have fifteen minutes.” He reached into the back pocket of his pants and pulled out a very small parcel. “This is your second present.”
I took it and opened the velvet box, revealing ear studs with a big red ruby in the center and small brilliants all around it. “Gorgeous.”
“Let me,” Nino said, taking them out and putting them into my ears.
“And?” I asked.
“Perfect.”
“Wait a sec,” I said, then quickly walked over to the bar where I’d put Nino’s present. It was quite heavy so I was glad when I handed it to Nino. I could see curiosity in his eyes. “Unwrap it.”
Nino ripped away the wrapping paper, revealing a leather-bound book about anatomy. “It’s a collectors’ edition from 1925 with hand drawn images for all the body parts...” I was hoping it was something Nino liked. Whenever we were in the library together, Nino was often drawn to medical books.
Nino began perusing the book slowly, his eyes flitting as he scanned the pages with the drawings. When he finally looked up, his expression was alight with eagerness. “That’s perfect. I can’t wait to read it and compare it to the newest books on anatomy.”
I stifled a laugh. Only Nino could be excited about something like that. Nino was kissing me sweetly when steps rang out.
“Do I smell meat?” Savio asked, sauntering in, followed by Remo and Adamo, all of them wearing shirts for once.
I grinned. Soon Fabiano and Leona joined us as well, bringing wine. I hugged Leona tightly. “How’s your mother doing?”
“Better. She’ll be released from the hospital in two days. She never knows when to stop,” Leona said with a small sigh. She would have wanted to celebrate with her mother for once but after an almost fatal overdose, she was stuck in hospital once again.
I caught Fabiano exchanging an exasperated look with Remo, which Leona caught as I led them toward the table. “He doesn’t understand why I still try to help my mother, but he helps her for me anyway.”