It was so thoughtful. What other man would even remember her hens? “How perfect. You really do think of everything!”
He kissed her cheek. “Getting Dog dressed took some finesse. I gave instructions to the valet that he was to be thoroughly bribed with roast beef. Apparently that did the trick. You see, Dog and I understand each other.”
“Thank you.” She stared into his beautiful dark eyes. “And the Foxleigh pin was a lovely touch.”
“He is family, after all. If you had not agreed to marry me, I should have stolen him anyway.”
“Shameless rogue. And speaking of villainy, now that I am safely your duchess, I have a dark confession to make.” She steadied herself. He would either be shocked, or he would laugh, but she now knew they could get past anything together.
“Oh indeed? Was it you who sneaked in and ate all of Dog’s bacon treats?” He was mocking her, but looked so very tempting as he did it.
Her brow raised. “Of course not. That would be unpardonably immoral. It is only that, on that first night, when I pulled you out of the snow, it was I who had stopped you in the road before you fell off your horse.”
He posed gape-mouthed in a dramatic look of shock. “You mean, you were the second highwayman? Never!”
She pinched his arm. “You already knew? All this time? And you never let on. Deceitful cad!”
He laughed and turned her to look at the horses harnessed to the carriage. “It was the horse. He told me everything.”
Sure enough, Katherine recognized one of the lead pair. “He looks so glossy and refined now. Like a perfect gentleman. I would never know he is one to cry rope on his friends.”
“Well, in his defense, he was only confirming what I already knew. When I found that I still had my money and watch, I managed to sort things out.” His eyes were sparkling and full of his heart. “Do you know, I honestly believe that our love is stronger now than it ever could have been if we had not faced all these tribulations.”
Katherine sighed happily. “That is precisely what I believe. When I think back to the young girl I was, I cannot conceive of her knowing you the way I know you now. How could a silly creature like that ever love you as you deserve to be loved?”
Foxleigh nodded. “Well, she could never have mustered up the gumption to rob me. And you know I could never love anyone incapable of shooting me on the road.”
“It is not too late for me to give you that second head bump, you know.”
He kissed her. “But in all seriousness, I am so very glad you confessed to me, my love. Now there are no secrets between us.” He leaned into her ear and whispered, “And I brought your pistols with me in the carriage. I thought you might want to play a game of lady scoundrel on the way to Blackwood Manor.”
She gasped as his wandering fingers tweaked a nipple. “Well, that will be quite a change from chess. But it is not a long journey, and you are a very rich man. Shall I have enough time to properly empty your pockets?”
He handed her up into the carriage and growled, “We had best get started then, before Rutherford finishes his business of incarcerating Mrs. Dubois and comes to detain us further. But in case my wealth proves too formidable, I do know of a longer detour.”
Epilogue
A few flakes of snow were fluttering about their carriage as it rolled down the long, tree-lined drive toward Blackwood Manor. Katherine stirred beneath the fur blanket and looked over at her new husband.
His eyelids fluttered open, and he smiled sleepily at her. “Do you mean to hold me up again, merciless robber? I might have a couple of shillings left.”
She smoothed his disheveled hair. “Best straighten yourself. We are almost on their front stoop.”
Foxleigh sat up and began retying his neck cloth. “I see God has finally decided to cast white rose petals upon the bridal path.”
Katherine snorted. “I am glad He waited until we arrived at our destination. But how could you ever have been attracted to anyone so affected and pretentious as that?”
Foxleigh shrugged. “I am not sure, really.” He gave her a devilish look. “Perhaps I merely have a predilection for dangerous women.”
“If you are going to make such unflattering comparisons, I may have to start loading my pistols.”
“Oh dear.” He assumed a worried expression.
When they stepped out, Rutherford greeted them, a beautiful blond lady beside him.
“I am glad to see you safely here. I have just returned home myself. Ah, but you both look so radiantly happy!” Rutherford was beaming as he introduced her to his wife, the Duchess of Bartholmer. “She is a formidable duchess, but you must never call her your grace.”
“No indeed!” The duchess smiled so warmly at Katherine that she felt she was rejoining an old and dear acquaintance. “You must call me Tilly. All my friends do!”
“Tilly it shall be, then.” Katherine took Tilly’s proffered arm. “And I hope you will call me Katherine.” It was a little too soon for Kat.
The servants who were keeping Dog company in the vehicle behind them opened the carriage door, and he came vaulting toward them, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.
Katherine stopped to give him pets and scratches after their long separation, but Dog only smiled at her as he sped off to scamper between the long legs of Rutherford, running a circle around him and emitting a howl of joy.
Rutherford blinked in disbelief. “Good Lord! Where did you find him?!” He embraced the hound and kissed his head. “Mack, my old friend, you are returned to us!”
Katherine gasped. Could this be a mistake? But no, Dog clearly knew Rutherford and was deliriously happy to be with him.
After a few moments, Rutherford looked up at Foxleigh, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “How can I ever thank you, Foxleigh? I do not know how you managed to retrieve him, but I shall forever be grateful to you, my dear, good man!”
Foxleigh was taken aback. He tilted his head. “Um, do you know Dog, then?”
“This is Mack! He was taken from us some time ago by a truly evil woman who was holding him hostage. I thought I should never see him again.”
Katherine’s heart sank. She had always known that Dog belonged to someone, but she never dreamed that she would ever be forced to return him. It was unjust. People who wanted to reclaim their dogs should be required by law to do so before someone else fell in love with them.
Foxleigh looked at her wistfully. They were only newly wed, but he could already read her feelings at a glance. “I should love to take the credit, but I am afraid you have my wife to thank.”
Rutherford turned to Katherine. He too seemed to detect the misery on her face. “Oh, I see. Has this long-eared fellow been sponging off of you?” His tone was apologetic, but she knew he was really asking forgiveness for taking his dog back. “Well, I am so glad he found himself a true friend. He has excellent taste.”
“I hope you realize…” She forced her emotions down. She would not start out her acquaintance with Fox’s friends by blubbering and making a great cake of herself. “He wandered up to my cottage one day and simply never left. I may not claim many virtues for myself, but I am not a dog-thief.”
“Oh I know!” Rutherford smiled reassuringly. “Mack would never stay with a dognapper. That is no doubt how he came to you. He must have escaped his captor.” He scratched his old friend affectionately. “Good lad. I hope you bit the witch.”
“Of course you did not steal Mack!” Tilly patted her on the shoulder. “Now, let us all go inside and have some wine and delicious small plates from the kitchen. I have managed to procure—through devious means which I may confess to you later—my sister-in-law’s mother’s French chef, and he is a true artist.”
Her sister-in-law’s mother’s French chef? Katherine began to feel she had stepped into a beehive of interrelationships.
Tilly continued, “Everything will work itself out to rights once we have all had a chance to get warm and pet and spoil Mack a
s much as he could like.”
“Oh yes!” Rutherford was overjoyed, still rubbing the ears of his beloved hound. “Foxleigh, you have probably not seen Delville for a long time, as he has only recently come back from the dead.”
Katherine gave Foxleigh a look of bewilderment.
He winked back, apparently quite amused. “Yes, I had heard something about that. And I suppose I shall meet his new wife.”
Tilly chimed in. “Yes, and Frobisher and Rosamond. There are so many old friends and new brides to meet! It shall be splendid.” Tilly looked at Katherine’s face and added, “Not to worry, they are all a great deal of fun—well, except Aldley, but he is a good sort after all, and they shall all adore you.”
Katherine was not so sure. Foxleigh came to claim her arm as soon as they were in the door and had their coats and bonnets removed. “Now stop listing them all off or she will think she is stepping into a mad menagerie of lords and ladies. But has Aldley made it all this way? And at Christmas time? He hasn’t even been to town for—well, far too long. I thought he would never quit his country estate.”
He whispered in Katherine’s ear, “You may have something in common with his wife, Lydia. Rumour has it she cannot resist the allure of a climbable tree, either. Though I doubt she looks as good in one as you do.” He sighed and stared heavenward, as though in deep contemplation of the memory.
“You are a very bad man!” He always did know how to make her laugh. She was so lucky to have found him again.
They stepped into the grand room, and the smell of baked things, roasted meats and poultry, buttery sauces and spiced puddings greeted her nose. As the many smiling faces turned to welcome her, her nervous shivers calmed, and she was filled with a feeling of wellbeing. She had come from struggling through life almost alone in the world to a whole manor house full of new friends. A wet nose brushed her hand, and she smiled down at Dog, now known as Mack. Her old friend was still here too, even if he had a new name.
“So,” she murmured to Foxleigh from the side of her mouth, “if I am a good lady scoundrel and play sweetly with all of your friends without picking a single pocket, will you help me steal my dog back?”
He took two champagne glasses from a servant and handed her one. “Well, he is a member the Foxleigh family. Only you are not allowed to shoot anyone. Now come and meet all your new friends.”
Glossary
acerbic: sour, harsh, biting, Ch. 14.
Arse Poetica: Katherine’s word play on Ars Poetica, an epistolary poem by Horace which gives advice on how to compose poetry and drama, Ch 14.
bacon-brain: Regency era term for a stupid person, Ch. 14.
beef-wit: Regency era term for a stupid person, Ch. 8.
bounder: a Regency era insult meaning a morally suspect person of low character and/or uncouth behaviour, Ch. 7.
carte blanche: an arrangement between a gentleman and his courtesan, typically involving financial support and maintenance in a residence, Ch. 15.
complacence: self-satisfaction, Ch. 11.
cry rope: tattle, Ch. 19.
cuffin: fellow, Ch. 1.
first water: Regency era term meaning top quality, Ch. 3.
foxed: a Regency era term meaning intoxicated, Ch.3.
gaol: old word for jail, Ch. 16.
get a leg over: British term for having sex with someone—hard to say how old the expression is, but the joke was too tempting to pass up, Ch. 14.
having someone on: pulling someone’s leg, making a humorous deception, Ch. 8.
hiatus: a pause, Ch. 2.
making a cake of oneself: Regency era term for publicly embarrassing, or making a fool of oneself, Ch. 5, Epilogue.
officious: tending to intrusively interfere in the affairs of others, meddlesome, Ch. 10, 18.
pantaloons: a type of close-fitting pants (trousers) worn by gentlemen of the Regency era, Ch. 18.
paucity: scarcity, smallness, Ch. 13.
pernicious: of a malicious tendency to cause serious injury, Ch. 3.
prodigious: unusual or astounding in size, amount or degree, Ch. 18.
saccharine: extremely sweet, especially artificially so, Ch 8.
sideslip: illegitimate offspring, Ch. 8.
smoky: Regency era term meaning morally suspect and up to no good, Ch. 7, 15.
succubus; a type of female demon that visits men at night to seduce them, Ch. 13.
About Tessa Candle
Tessa Candle is a lawyer, world traveller, dog fanatic, and author. She writes historical romance featuring unconventional heroines, the unsuspecting noblemen who fall in love with them, and all the high jinks involved in getting them together. Vanilla sexy times will ensue (doors wide open) but not until the characters have earned it.
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The Lady’s Guide to Mistletoe and Mayhem
by Emmanuelle de Maupassant
Prologue
Arrington Hall, Buckinghamshire
25th December, 1887
“Really Eustace, there’s no need to cry about it!”
Ursula gave a great sigh. She’d only pointed out that Eustace’s wooden guardsman wasn’t wearing the proper sort of boots and that his jacket didn’t have the correct number of buttons. It was merely an observation. He didn’t need to blub! Sometimes, he was as bad as his little sisters.
“Look, he can still marry my Penelope. She won’t mind about it. Stand him up and they can say their vows.”
With a sniffle, Eustace did as he was told.
“What sort of boots are they meant to be then?” He touched the felt, frowning.
“Leather, of course, extending to the knee. It takes at least five pounds of beeswax to polish them.” Ursula was rather proud of knowing such things. “I’ll ask Papa if you might come with us next time you’re in town and we go to the barracks. It’s not far from the Eaton Square house to Hyde Park.”
Licking her finger, she wiped a smudge from Penelope’s cheek. “I’ve sat on one of the horses, although I had to be lifted on, since they’re all sixteen hands. We might ask for you to take a ride if you like.”
A look of terror crossed Eustace’s face. “I—I’d rather not. Still a bit scared to be honest, since the pony threw me.”
Ursula squeezed Eustace’s hand. “Sorry about that. I forgot.”
Lots of things about him were rather annoying but he couldn’t help it, she supposed. Not everyone could be brave all the time, and she was lucky, after all, being allowed to accompany Papa to all sorts of interesting places.
Her governess, Miss Scratchley, had departed a few months ago and Papa had ended up taking Ursula into the factory for a while. She’d learnt all sorts of things, with Papa showing her how the leather was cut and the machinery which helped shape and sew the various sorts of footwear they produced there.
Next, he’d promised to let her see the order book and show her how to use the various columns to work out what things had cost and what you sold them for. He’d said it would be useful, one day, when she was running a household of her own.
It was all fascinating. Papa was finding her a new governess soon, but she’d much rather go to the factory with him.
Mama—now in Heaven—would be pleased, Ursula was sure, even though Grandfather Arrington disapproved. At their Christmas luncheon, he’d told Papa that he didn’t want to hear anything about his “low-class toil” at Fairbury and Berridge, and her uncle had agreed, calling it “vulgar”.
It made no sense to Ursula. On a previous visit, she’d heard Aunt Philippa call her mother a “desirable match”, because Fairbury and Berridge “did very well”, so it seemed rather rum for Grandpapa and Uncle Cedric to make such a fuss.
The business had been in her mother’s family for ov
er two hundred years, and Ursula didn’t see why earning money from making something so useful should be frowned upon. Moreover, they weren’t just any boots! The Queen herself had once shaken Papa’s hand, thanking him for supplying the footwear for her royal household, including her beloved Mounted Regiment.
Grown-ups got themselves worked up about the strangest things.
Besides which, there weren’t any male Fairburys to carry on with things, her mother having had no brothers or uncles, so what else was to be done? And Papa seemed very good at it.
“Come on, Penelope.” She placed a kiss on the doll’s forehead. “Time to wed your guardsman, and then you can ride off on an adventure together.”
Extracting two toffees from her pocket, she passed one to Eustace. “Make him stand up straight, now.”
Eustace popped his into his mouth and sucked thoughtfully. “I suppose they’ll want me to get married, one day. If I do have to, can it be to you, Ursula? I shouldn’t mind so much…if it was you.”
“But I don’t know if I shall.” Ursula looked sideways at Eustace. “Get married, that is.” She rearranged the lace ruffle at Penelope’s neck. “Ladies take husbands so that they’ll have someone to look after them, but I’d rather look after myself. Papa says I’ll inherit his half of the partnership and I can do anything I like.”
“Oh!” Looking altogether dismal, Eustace pulled off the guardsman’s hat. “I think I had it the wrong way about. I imagined it might be you looking after me.”
Ursula leaned over to kiss her cousin on the cheek. “Don’t worry, Eustace. Whatever happens, we’ll always look out for each other.”
“You promise?” Eustace looked decidedly uncertain.
“Yes, and we’ll never do anything we don’t want to.”
“Never?”
Once Upon a Christmas Wedding Page 63