by Hamel, B. B.
18
Taylor
Baker calls me later that day after leaving me worried as hell all morning. “It’s going to be okay,” he says softly, but he doesn’t sound convinced.
“Are you sure? Where are you?”
“At the office. The board is still discussing everything but I think we’ll be okay.” He pauses for a long beat. “They might want you to talk to them.”
“Talk to them?” I can feel the panic starting to rise in my throat. “About what?”
“They have the screenshot. So about that.”
“Baker, oh my god. They saw what I said?”
“I’m sorry.”
I’m fucking mortified. I can’t believe someone saw my private text exchange with Lisa. It doesn’t exactly paint me in a great light. They probably think I’m some kind of insane whore or something like that.
These are total strangers, reading some of my most intimate conversations.
I think I want to bury myself in a hole and just die. Or maybe just disappear from the world forever.
This isn’t what I had in mind when I got involved with Baker. I thought it was exciting and felt good, but I never imagined a board of directors would end up reading my texts.
It’s horrifying. I don’t know what to do. I feel like my body’s melting away and I’m going to end up as a little puddle on the floor.
“Taylor?”
“I’m here. Yeah. I’m here.”
“Listen, I know this is a lot. They just want you to confirm that our relationship is consensual and—”
“Consensual?” I can hear the panic in my voice and my body’s shaking.
“I know.”
“They think you’re taking advantage of me?”
“I don’t know what they think, Taylor. But it would help if you made it clear that I’m not.”
“Baker—”
“Listen. Just tell them what we’re doing is okay and that someone stole your texts. Tell them about your room being tossed over, about the maid quitting. Tell them everything, the whole truth.”
“This is insane. They’re strangers. I can’t do it.”
He’s silent for a second. I can practically see his frown through the phone.
“If you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to do it,” he says finally. “I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”
I clench my jaw. Asshole, of course he won’t.
“This is insane.”
“I know.”
“Did you tell them about Carol? About—”
“No,” he says quickly. “No, I’m letting them figure that out on their own.”
“Why? Baker, they need to know.”
“They know. They just need to believe it.”
I groan and shake my head. “This is too much.”
“Take a few days and think about it. You don’t have to do anything yet. They’re still figuring it all out.”
I take a deep breath and let it out. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to keep working. We have a bunch of buses to launch, remember?”
I snort a little despite myself. “I forgot about those.”
“Unfortunately, they’re still happening. So hang tight, take some time off, and try to figure out what you want to do.”
“Okay.” I take a breath and let it out. “Okay. I can do that.”
“Good girl.” He’s quiet for a moment but I can hear his breathing still. “I’m sorry you’ve been pulled into this. I never thought…” He clears his throat. “Anyway. I’ll see you on Monday, okay?”
“Okay.”
“See you, Taylor.”
“Bye.”
We hang up the phone.
I sit there in my apartment, staring at the wall, feeling like someone just kicked me in the teeth.
My most intimate conversations on display for strangers. And they want me to come in and talk about them.
Then there’s Baker, working like nothing is happening. And I’m stuck here in this apartment with nothing to do but stew in my own misery.
It’s terrible. But he’s right, I need to figure out what to do.
If talking to the board can help, maybe I should do it. That might be beneficial for me as much as it would be for him. Or maybe it would just be an exercise in humiliation and I’ll end up looking like an insane person.
I don’t know what to do.
I feel so alone, it’s like the world is crashing down around me.
* * *
The weekend drags past. I spend all my time alone in my apartment, despite Lisa trying to get me to come out. I haven’t told her the full story of what’s happening yet and I don’t know if I will. For some reason, I’m too ashamed.
I shouldn’t feel like this. I didn’t do anything wrong. Baker and I are both adults and just because we had a relationship, doesn’t mean we did anything wrong. I mean, obviously some people would see the whole boss/assistant thing as inherently unequal or whatever, but…
It’s not like that with him.
As Sunday passes and Monday rolls around, my anxiety slowly mounts.
I don’t know what I plan on doing. I should have some better idea by now but it’s still all a blur of fear and anger. I’m so afraid of going in front of that board and talking about my personal life, as if they have any right to hear about it.
And yet I know it would help Baker… and help myself, too.
I head into work Monday morning, practically shaking with fear. Most people aren’t in since they’re all traveling back from Alaska, so the office is pretty empty when I get there. I’m actually pretty relieved about it as I set up my stuff at my desk.
I sit down, stare at my computer, and try to decide what I’m going to do.
But I don’t have to think long.
I look up and spot Baker leaning against the wall nearby. He smiles at me and instantly I start to feel better.
Baker. Oh, yeah. Baker. That’s the reason I’m in this mess. That smile, that face, that body.
I stand up and feel myself smiling back.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey.”
“How was your weekend?”
“Terrible. You?”
“Same.” He gestures for me to follow him into his office. Once we’re in there, he shuts the door. “I’m sorry about that phone call.”
“It’s okay.” I sit down and look at the floor. “It’s fine, really.”
“It’s not.” He sits behind his desk. “I freaked you out. If you don’t want to talk about this ever again, you don’t have to. I’ll deal with it.”
“You don’t have to do it alone.” I take a deep breath and let it out. “You shouldn’t have to.”
“Yeah, maybe not.”
I start blinking rapidly. I can feel myself getting upset, the tears coming to my eyes fast.
“Taylor,” he says softly, getting up and coming around the desk. He sits down next to me and puts a hand on my leg. I look at him and try to smile.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I feel so stupid. This whole thing is so embarrassing.”
“I know.” His fingers tighten on my leg. “I’m not going to let her hurt you, Taylor,” he whispers. “Okay?”
“Sure. I believe you.”
He sighs and leans across the space between us to hug me. I hug him back quickly but I don’t linger. I don’t want someone to see it and get the wrong idea.
He must notice the way I pull back so fast. He frowns a little bit but stands up.
“I’ll give you a few minutes in here, okay? I’ll just be down the hall if you need me.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
He hesitates, clearly wants to say more. But he glances out his windows, out at the rest of the office, and sighs. He walks out and leaves the door open as he goes.
I sit in his office, feeling like such a fool. I don’t know why I just cried in front of him. I don’t know why I can’t make up my mind.
I�
�m just so embarrassed. I just wish this would all go away.
“Knock, knock.”
Suddenly a chill runs down my spine. I half turn to look over my shoulder and there she is, standing in the doorway, that lizard smile plastered on her face.
“Can I come in?” she asks as she steps into the office and shuts the door behind her.
I blink rapidly, the tears suddenly gone. I stand up and run into the desk, staring at her, alternating between horror and rage.
“What are you doing here?” I finally ask.
“Me? Oh, I work here.”
“I mean, in here, in this office. What the fuck do you want?”
She grins at me. “I guess you figured it out.”
I take a step toward her. “You went through my things. You… you unlocked my phone, stole a conversation.”
“To be fair, I did it to hurt Baker. I don’t really have anything against you.”
“You… you think that’s better? You psycho.”
She grins at me and just shrugs. “Listen, Taylor. I just wanted to come in and ask you to quit.”
“What?” I can barely believe what’s happening right now. Carol, the demon that caused all this in the first place, is standing in Baker’s office… telling me to quit.
“I want you to resign. Preferably today, but I can wait.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because it would hurt Baker. Here’s the thing, I don’t care if they fire him or not. I really don’t. I already plan on leaving this dump sooner rather than later. But before I go, I’m going to hurt him.”
“Why?” I whisper.
“Because he took my job and then he took my assistant. That’s too far.”
“You want to hurt him… purely out of spite?”
“More or less.” She grins at me, cocks her head. “So what do you say? Quit your job?”
“Go to hell, you psycho.”
“I figured you’d say that. But listen, you little slut. If you don’t quit, I’ll go public with those texts. Everyone will know what a little tramp you are and what Baker does with his pretty little employees. But if you quit, I’ll stop. I’ll make it all go away.”
“You’re insane,” I whisper.
She just laughs. She doesn’t bother denying it.
My eyes go wide as I stare at her. She really is crazy. I can see it right there in the way she stares at me, the total lack of shame or remorse. She doesn’t care that what she’s doing is completely immoral and horrible. She just wants her revenge and she’ll do anything to get it.
“Quit your job,” she says. “All you have to do is quit. You’ll find another job, I’m sure. Hell, I’ll even write you a glowing recommendation letter. ‘Dear sir/madam, Taylor goes above and beyond for her boss… she’ll do absolutely anything.’ They’ll hire you on the spot.”
I clench my jaw, step toward her. I want to hurt her, hit her, make her cry… but I stop in my tracks. Because she doesn’t back down, not at all.
“You’re insane,” I repeat. “You can’t get away with this.”
“All you have to do is quit,” she repeats. “Just quit and I’ll stop. Baker will be fine, the company will be fine. I’ll find a new job, you’ll find a new job, happily ever after, the end. Just quit.” She steps backward and opens the door behind her. “Just quit,” she repeats before leaving the office.
She hurries down the hall. I stand there and watch her go for a second, not moving a muscle, before finally walking back to my desk.
I sit down in a daze. I feel like I’m dizzy, like I’m freefalling from a cliff.
Baker stops by, checks on me. I smile and nod and pretend like everything’s fine.
But inwardly, my whole world is crumbling.
Just quit. Just walk away and Baker will be fine.
The strange thing is, I believe her. I think just getting me to quit will be enough. She just wants to hurt Baker and make him look bad.
If I quit now, she’ll get both of those things.
But she’ll also stop. The board won’t fire him and things won’t be so bad. We can all move on with our lives.
I just have to walk away.
That’s all. It’s not that bad. It’s not even that hard.
Just quit. Just walk away.
The words keep echoing in my ears, over and over again. Hours slip past and I barely get any work done.
I just keep seeing a simple way to solve all our problems.
It’s not a happy ending. It’s not a good solution. It’s not even what I want.
But it’ll help Baker.
He’s willing to do so much for me. He’s trying hard to make sure I don’t get hurt. He took responsibility… he stepped up. He wants to protect me.
So maybe it’s time that I stepped up and protected him.
Maybe it’s time that I took the fall.
Just quit. Just walk away.
And everything will be okay.
19
Baker
Taylor is strange for the rest of the day on Monday, but I don’t push her. I know this is a crazy situation to be in.
The board does want to talk to her, but I don’t tell her that. I want her to make up her mind on her own.
“Did you speak with your assistant?” Jack asks me at the end of the day.
“I did,” I say. “She’s thinking about it.”
He frowns at me. “Come on, Baker. I went to bat for you. She has to corroborate your story, or—”
“I’m sorry, Jack. I can’t force her to do anything. Do you have any idea how awkward and embarrassing this is for her?”
“I can imagine,” he sighs.
“So be patient. If she’ll do it, she will. Otherwise, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry too.”
I end the call there. No reason to linger.
Taylor goes home early. I can’t see any reason to make her stay late. This is hard enough as it is, and anyway, there’s barely anyone in the office.
I don’t sleep much that night. I keep waking up to these horrible dreams about drowning in that fountain in Alaska while Carol cackles and watches me go.
Tuesday morning comes and I’m in the office early. I can’t help myself. Even when things are weird here, I still can’t stay away from work. It’s an addiction or something.
I sit down at my desk and pull up my email. The first thing I see is a message from Taylor at the top of my inbox. I click it and read.
Dear Mr. Griffin,
It is with the greatest regret and sincerity that I tender this, my letter of resignation. It has been a great honor working with you these past few weeks. I’ve learned a great deal and I hope we can maintain a professional friendship moving forward. I wish you the best of luck with all your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Taylor Martin
I stare at that email for ten minutes trying to figure out of it’s a joke or not.
Finally, I just call her.
But she doesn’t pick up. I call again, again, and again, but no answer.
“What the fuck?” I whisper to myself.
The email was sent just a few minutes before I got into the office, so she must be awake. But she’s ignoring my calls.
I try one more time. It doesn’t even ring, just straight to voicemail.
I read the email again and write back.
Taylor,
I can’t tell if this is real or a joke. Please confirm. -B
Another ten minutes slip past. I’m practically vibrating with confusion and anger, but she does write back.
Mr. Griffin,
I apologize for the confusion. Yes, this is for real. I am resigning from my position immediately. I apologize for not giving the customary two weeks’ notice.
Sincerely,
Taylor Martin
I want to smash my computer. Slowly, I stand up, seething with rage.
I know why this is happening.
It’s obvious. It’s always been obviou
s. All of this goes back to that fateful day in that stupid fucking conference room when I decided that I was going to take Taylor away from Carol.
And that slimy psycho can’t handle losing something.
I leave my office and walk down the hall. I walk fast, rage gathering, until I end up outside of Carol’s office.
I don’t knock. I open the door and step inside.
Carol looks up from her desk. There’s a moment of surprise that quickly turns into delight.
“Baker,” she says. “To what do I owe—”
“Why did Taylor quit?”
Her smile turns into an outright grin. “I didn’t know she has resigned. Interesting.”
“You put her up to it. Why?”
“Want to know why, Baker?” Carol grins at me and slowly stands. She leans over her desk, looking at me with this wicked smile and I swear, she’s only half sane, if at all. “It’s because you pissed me off.”
“Jesus, Carol. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Nothing. You come waltzing in here like this is your company while I get passed over. I deal with it, I swallow that, but then you steal my fucking assistant from me? That’s too far, you piece of shit. You embarrassed me, and so I decided to embarrass you back.”
“You’re going too far,” I growl at her.
“You already went there. I’m just paying you back.”
I clench my fists. I’ve never wanted to hurt a person this badly before in my life, but I hold myself back. I know that would only make things worse, even if it might feel good.
“Carol, bring Taylor back and we can forget all of this. We can let it go.”
She cackles. “I don’t think so. No, I love how mad you are. I told Taylor that if she quit, I’d back off. And I’ll stick to my word. She sacrificed herself for you, Baker. How does that feel?”
“Fuck you, Carol.”
She grins huge and cocks her head. “Fuck you right back. I win this one.”
I stare at her for a long moment before I turn and leave.
Nothing good will come of staying in that room. I can berate her, shout at her, but it won’t change a thing. The woman simply doesn’t care. She just doesn’t see how what she’s doing is absolutely insane.