We arrived early and took seats to await his friend’s arrival. When Gene stepped into the restaurant with Joyanne Holly, sister to that sniveling George Holly, my heart dropped. How was this possible? What had I done so wrong to bring these two men together in the same room? It made no sense!
My body shook. Though I knew Gene hated me, I worried about Joyanne equally as much. She’d never been friendly, and the set-down I’d given her brother had severed any friendship we might’ve shared.
As for Gene, he hadn’t changed. He was still the slimy bastard he’d been when I’d last seen him on the day I’d told him I was pregnant with David.
There was no escape. I prayed to get through this evening without Dale ever learning of my previous relationship with Gene. Dale stood to greet them as they approached our table.
“Gene!” He extended his hand for a handshake. “So glad we could do this!”
Next to Gene, Joyanne gasped. “Victoria? Oh, my goodness! I haven’t seen you in years! How are ya?”
I cringed at Joyanne’s fake sincerity.
Surprised, Dale looked at Joyanne and then at Gene. “You’ve met my wife? You know Victoria?”
“We go way back,” Gene said with a sly smile.
Dale glanced back and forth between the three of us, clearly trying to puzzle it all out. He waved toward the empty chairs at our table. “Have a seat, then! How long have you know each other?”
“Oh gosh,” Joyanne gushed. “I’d say most of our lives! My brother’s the same age as Victoria, and I believe he taught her children in school. Didn’t he, Victoria?”
The expression on Joyanne’s face sent fear down my spine. Her eyes narrowed in malice, it was clear she wasn’t the least bit thrilled to see me. If it was possible, she’d do everything in her power to make trouble. Gene, on the other hand, was who I really worried about.
“Indeed, he did,” I replied.
Was there any way to go back and start this evening over? Surely I could’ve feigned sickness.
“I knew her husband well,” Gene said. “Will and me went way back. I was so sorry when he died. Back right after Thanksgivin’ of ‘31, wasn’t it? That’s what—six and a half years ago?”
“Yes,” I said. “Close to it, anyway.”
“How are those kids of yours?” Gene asked. “They must be mostly grown up by now. Let’s see, if I remember. Grace was your oldest. She must be about thirteen now?”
“Almost,” I replied. “Next month.”
Oh, God! Please make him stop!
There was no way to communicate how dangerous this line of questioning was. Gene was a bastard, and it was clear he was enjoying every second of making me squirm; but I couldn’t imagine that, had he known how dangerous Dale could be, he would deliberately hurt me.
“Then you had the two boys. Jack and … Everett?”
“Ethan.”
“That’s right, I’m sorry. And the baby. I don’t recall his name.”
“David.”
“Yes, that’s right. David. He must be what? Four?”
“Soon,” I said. “In July.”
Gene was probably enjoying his little game at my expense, but I’d become truly fearful for the first time in my life. Dale was completely silent, and I could see the wheels spinning in his head as he mentally calculated the numbers. There was no way I could explain. He wouldn’t believe me if I tried.
Dinner was fairly quiet with cordial talk of the weather, where Gene and Joyanne had moved, and other inane topics. I shook inside, and had difficulty following the conversation. Dale’s body language said that Gene and Joyanne had done some major damage. I had no way to rectify it, so I bided my time until dinner was complete.
Saying our goodbyes and promising to do it again, we bid farewell to Gene and Joyanne Blanchard. Then I braced myself for the storm that was surely about to come.
Dale said nothing on the way home. Instead, he ground his teeth, his jaw clenched in anger. Arriving home, I checked in on the children then retreated to our bedroom to prepare for bed. Dale didn’t follow me immediately. I tried not to let that concern me, and went through my nightly ritual.
It wasn’t until nearly two hours later, when I had almost drifted off to sleep, that Dale entered our bedroom. Even from a distance, I smelled the alcohol immediately. He sat on the edge of our bed.
“Do you have something to tell me?” His voice was far too quiet and calm for the situation.
“What would you like to know?” I sat up and pulled the covers tightly around me.
“Everything. Everything you should’ve told me before we were married. Everything I should’ve known before we had dinner with Gene and Joyanne tonight. Everything. Leave nothing out, or by God, I’ll kill you.”
His words were said with such utter calm that I had no doubt he meant them. The Dale who had been in short hibernation during my pregnancies was about to re-emerge. He was like a coiled snake, and I was afraid where to place my next step for fear of the venom in his strike.
“David is …” I began, then changed my mind and decided to start again. “When Will died, he left the farm with a hefty loan in the hands of the bank. We were starvin’ and we had no money. We didn’t have money for food, much less the money to pay back the bank. We were destitute. The kind of poor you’ve never imagined.”
“How does that have anything to do with David?”
“David was … an accident.”
“I would guess so!”
“Yes, but not the kind you imagine. I—I needed security. I needed to be sure the kids would have a roof over their heads. We were about to lose everything. Everyone was losin’ everything around us. Just the week before, a family in the next town was found squatting in an abandoned homestead because they’d lost their house and couldn’t afford another. I couldn’t let that happen to us.”
I paused a long moment, not sure how to continue.
“I’m listening,” Dale prompted.
“I couldn’t let that happen to us,” I repeated. “So I entered into an arrangement that would buy me some time to get the money together for the bank. And some groceries. The man who was in charge of our account—he arranged for sex in exchange for time on the loan. And he’d bring us a bag of groceries when he came. Twice a month for each month’s extension.”
“How long did this go on?”
“Six months, maybe?”
“Long enough to get pregnant with David,” he said.
“Yes.”
“And the father? Does he know?”
“Yes. I told him, but he wanted nothin’ to do with us when he found out.”
“What’s his name?”
I sat there shaking and couldn’t respond. I couldn’t tell him who the father was.
“I asked you his name, Victoria. I will have an answer!”
I didn’t see it coming. His fist shot out from nowhere, catching me in the side of the face and knocking me off the bed. At the edge of my vision, I saw stars and it took me a moment to get my bearings. Slowly, using the bed to assist me, I stood and took a seat on the edge.
Dale stood and walked around to stand in front of me. “Tell me his name, Victoria.”
“I can’t.”
Once again Dale’s hand flew out, this time catching me on the other side of my face and knocking me back onto the bed.
“I will have his name one way or another, Victoria. Give me his name. Now!”
“Dale,” I said quietly. “I can’t tell ya. You don’t wanna know.”
Grabbing my hair in his fist, Dale yanked me from the bed and threw me onto the floor. Still wearing shoes, he kicked me from my stomach down to my knees more times than I could count, until I was in so much pain I nearly lost consciousness. While Dale had hit me several times in the past, I’d never seen him lose control so completely. I couldn’t draw a breath, and feared he might’ve broken one of my ribs.
“I’ll not ask you again, Victoria. Answer my questions, or I’ll be forced to do s
omething we’ll both regret.”
I could barely see out of my left eye, and both cheeks were throbbing. Breathing was difficult. I wondered what more he could do that would cause him real regret.
“Last chance, Victoria.” He stripped off his belt. “I will have the answers to my questions. Who is David’s father?”
“Gene,” I whispered. “Gene Blanchard.”
I only remember the strap coming down once. The rest is a blur before I lost consciousness. I don’t know how long I was out, but I awoke some time later on my bed with Mother Elizabeth bathing my face with cool water. At the other end of the room, sitting quietly and with the world once again on his shoulders, was Jack.
I opened my eyes then closed them to shut out the bright light of the room.
“What happened?” Mother Elizabeth asked. “Can ya tell me?”
It took me a moment to find my words. When they came out of my mouth, they were muffled between my swollen and bruised lips. “Dale. He found out about David. That he wasn’t Will’s.”
“Oh no,” she said. “He didn’t know? How could ya not’ve told him?”
“I didn’t think of it at first. Then later, I was scared what he’d do if I told him. I didn’t think he’d ever find out.”
“Oh, Victoria.” Tears escaped from both of her eyes. “What’re we gonna do?”
“I know what I’m fixin’ to do!” Jack said. “I’m fixin’ to kill that bastard!”
“Jack Harrison, you sit down now!” Mother Elizabeth scolded in a loud whisper. “Do not do anything to make things worse for your mother! We just need to figure this out. We don’t need ya goin’ off half-cocked before we figure out what to do.”
“But he hit my mama!” Jack cried. “Not just hit her, but beat her within an inch of her life! He can’t get away with that!”
“He won’t. But we don’t wanna rile him even more. So sit down, and let us figure this out!”
“Where is he?” I asked.
“He left. We heard the fight in here, and then he just left. He’s been gone about half an hour,” she said.
“You should go. I don’t want him findin’ ya here when he returns,” I said. “Thank you.”
“Will ya be okay?”
“I’m fine. I just need to figure things out so I know what to do when he comes back.”
“Be careful, Victoria. Don’t do anything hasty.”
“I won’t. Now go.”
Coming over to the bed, Jack took my hand in his. “I’m sorry, Mama. I should’ve stopped him. I should’ve done somethin’.”
“No, baby.” I shook my head. “There’s nothin’ ya could’ve done. Now go, okay?”
“I love you, Mama,” he said with a gentle squeeze of my hand.
“Me too, baby.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
DALE WAS GONE FOR A FULL THREE DAYS. I had no idea where he was, who he was with, or even when he’d return. I began to worry—or maybe it was hope—that something had happened to him. On the evening of the third day, he returned.
I was preparing for bed when Dale surprised me by entering the room. Turning to face him, I tried to gauge his mood, but was unable to tell what he might be thinking.
“You’re back,” I said.
“Yes,” he said. “Sit down.”
Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, I waited for Dale to say his piece. I smelled the alcohol on his breath and began to worry. Dale had never been a drinker. He was mean enough without the alcohol. With the alcohol, he might be lethal.
“I’ve been thinking nonstop these last three days. I’m so angry, I can’t even think. I loved you, and I thought you loved me. But I see now it was all a game you were playing.”
“Dale, no—”
“Shut up,” he said quietly. “You will not interrupt me, understood?”
I nodded.
“I can see this was all a game to you,” he continued. “You saw me as your chance to get out, and you took advantage. You must’ve had some nice laughs at my expense. Did you think you could get out with Gene Blanchard, too, but got tossed aside instead?”
“Dale! No! I—”
The back of Dale’s hand planted on my already bruised cheek, and pain radiated through my skull.
“SHUT UP! I will not warn you again!”
Tears of pain rushed out of the better of my two eyes and down my cheek. I nodded. I wouldn’t say another word if I could help it.
“Things are gonna change around here. Enough of you living in luxury. We’re fixin’ to enter a new era with new rules. Rule number one: you may not leave this house without my express permission. If you leave this house, I will kill you. Understood?”
I nodded.
“Good. Rule number two: enough with the hired help. They’re gone. I fired them before I came up here. You are now entirely responsible for the care of our children, and the upkeep of our home. I want this house kept in pristine condition. No dust, no dirt—nothing.”
“But Dale, the dust—”
Again, his hand came out from nowhere, and once again it caught me near the same location as the last blow. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.
“I said shut up, and I meant it. Are you having difficulty understanding?”
I shook my head no.
“Good. The dust: I don’t care how you get rid of it, but I want every trace of it gone every single day. Rule number three: money. Your allowance has been revoked. You will buy nothing without my okay. Every dime you see will come through me first. I will see your grocery list before you go, and I will send your mother with you to do your shopping. You will present me with a receipt for every purchase, and you better be able to justify every nickel you’ve spent. Understood?”
Again, I nodded.
“I would divorce you if I could, but you well know I can’t. It would ruin my career. But know this: you are a whore, and you are dead to me. You are nothing more than an employee in my home. On occasion, I may take you to dinner parties as my wife, and you will behave appropriately. You will put a smile on your face, and, for the outside world, you will pretend we are happily married. You’re good at pretending, I know.”
I could do nothing more than nod my head.
“Don’t you dare defy me, Victoria. I gave you everything I had, and you defiled all of it. I will not be made a fool a second time. Are we clear?”
I nodded.
With nothing more to say, Dale stalked out of our room, slamming the door behind him.
THE NEXT THREE weeks were horrible. My bruises had healed, but only on the outside. Inside, they were raw and bleeding. True to his word, Dale cut off my access to money. I had not a single penny to my name, and nowhere to access it. I didn’t even try to explain Gene Blanchard to Dale again. I knew from experience it would only get me hurt. The next time, he might just kill me.
Dale began drinking on a regular basis, sometimes stumbling in stone drunk at the end of a long day. I have no idea how it didn’t affect his career. I can only assume he limited his drinking to after work hours. After those first beatings, Dale began leaving his marks where nobody would ever see them, and I was careful to hide them from Mother Elizabeth and the children. With every comment, Dale made it clear that any love he’d ever had for me was replaced by hate. As the weeks moved by and the beatings continued, I fell into utter despair. At least when we were hungry, my body had been strong, and I could see a light at the end of the tunnel; but Dale’s anger was changing me. I was entirely isolated from the outside world with the exception of my family. I had no resources, and began losing hope for the future, something I had never done before, even in our most desperate times. I began to dread each new day and prayed for death.
Dale’s favorite pet peeves were what he called my “backwoods dialect” and the cleaning. For the latter, he’d come home every evening and run a white glove over every surface. I dusted several times a day to keep it at bay. When he could find no fault with my dusting, he’d focus on my grammar,
or find other areas to criticize. There was no end to the fault he found with everything I did. The dishes weren’t clean enough, the kids tracked dirt onto the floors, the closets weren’t tidy enough. Each day his anger grew, and there was no reasoning with him.
It was now early May, six weeks since the dinner with Gene and Joyanne Blanchard. I was doing everything I could to keep Dale content. I’d cleaned every surface in the house until it shined, but I’d yet to do any heavy cleaning in his study. I wanted to get that done before Dale found fault with that room.
I was cleaning the floor on my hands and knees inside Dale’s study, and my work had moved me into the small closet within the room. Running the damp cloth over the wood floor, I moved backward on my knees toward the other end of the closet, when my balance was thrown by an uneven board. I didn’t think much of it until I took a closer look and realized the board was not only loose, but was loose by design. Looking around to make sure I was alone, I lifted the board to find a hole beneath the floor’s surface. Reaching inside, I removed a small burlap bag.
I couldn’t begin to imagine what could be in the bag. Did Dale know it was there? Had he hidden it? I couldn’t image who else might’ve left it there.
Cautiously, I opened the bag to find more cash than I’d ever seen in one place at any one time. I didn’t take time to count it, and I certainly didn’t wish to disturb it! Quickly returning the cash to the bag, and the bag to its hiding place, I finished up in the closet and set everything to rights. I wasn’t sure what I’d seen, but I knew it was something he was hiding from me. Instinctively I knew Dale wouldn’t be happy to know I’d been cleaning this room.
ANOTHER MONTH PASSED, and it was now early June. There’s just nothing like Oklahoma in the summer. The temperature gets so hot the sidewalks leave blisters on bare feet. I was hot and sticky from cleaning all day. My hair had fallen down from the tidy bun I’d attempted that morning, and the long strands hung around my shoulders. I appeared dirty and unkempt. Dale came home early this particular day and caught me before I’d had time to clean up. I always cleaned myself before Dale arrived home. It was one of many preparations I made to keep his ire away.
The Edge of Nowhere Page 27