by E Cleveland
“Sure,” I sign the paper and slide it back to him. Wrapping my fingers around the edge of the letters, I tingle with excitement. I can’t remember the last time I got mail. I don’t mean in here, I mean in life. I forgot the little rush you get when something unexpected is sent to you.
“Thanks!” I cheerfully call out as I start back down the hall to my room. At least this time I’m not going to drown in sadness.
“No problem, and Holly?” Kyle calls out and I turn back to look at him in his ridiculous Christmas sweater once more.
“Yeah?”
“Keep on smiling,” he answers.
“I’ll try,” I beam at him and then hurry back to my room.
I peer down at the envelopes, one of them is clearly from my father. The return address on it makes it easy to figure out. The other is more mysterious. The address to send it here has been printed on a sticker and stuck to the front and there’s no return address to be found.
I rush into my room and close the door with my foot, quickly making my way over to my small bed. My fingers make quick work of tearing the edge of the first envelope open and my heart beats quickly as I pull the handwritten letter from my father out.
Dear Holly,
I hope this finds you well. It’s been so hard to have you suddenly appear back in our lives only to have you disappear into rehab for two months. I understand that it’s important for your recovery, and that’s all that truly matters. I know that in time, when you’re clean and back home, the communication you aren’t allowed to have with us now will fade into a distant memory. It’s just hard right now.
I’m writing this because I needed to tell you that we received a notice from Edgewood inviting us to Family Day. Unfortunately, it came really late in the mail and we weren’t able to book travel out of the country with such short notice. It kills me to know we could have had time together, and I hope you understand that I would’ve come if I could.
I’m rooting for you, Holly. I know you’re going to get the help you need and live the life you’ve always deserved; one filled with joy and success. I love you and will be there for your graduation day.
Sincerely,
Dad
I pull the letter to my chest as tears fall down my face. For once, they aren’t tears of sadness or fear, but happiness. They didn’t just decide not to show up after all. Well, at least my father didn’t. I scan his words again, but notice there’s no mention of my Mom. I won’t focus on that, though. Not right now. Right now, I’ll take the small victories where I can get them. Knowing that my father didn’t choose to leave me here high and dry on Family Day is feeling like a pretty big win.
I wipe away my tears and put his letter down on my bedside table, smiling. I stare at it in a happy haze as my fingers tear through the next envelope. Maybe things are really going to turn around for me. Once I get out of here, maybe I can get a fresh start. My future feels bright for the first time in over half a decade.
I glance down at the typed letter trembling in my hand. The smile evaporates from my face and my eyes grow wide. I drop the paper to the floor and clamp both of my hands over the silent scream formed on my lips. All the feelings and flames of hope are extinguished by a tide of fear gripping at my heart.
I was so wrong. I have no future. If this is true, I won’t even have a present. I look down at the note in horror. Simply typed, in the middle of the sheet are two lines:
I told you I would find you.
I’m going to kill you.
19
Jake
I stomp into my room, slamming the door behind me with a clap of thunder. Pacing the empty floor in front of my bed, I try to shake off the anger rolling through my blood.
Who the hell does he think he is? Why did he bother to travel up here from Colorado, just to sit like a sullen lump for our visit?
Rage boils up the back of my throat as his face, tattooed with disappointment, flashes through my mind. I hammer my fists down onto my desk with a thud, but the anger is still there. “Fuck him,” I growl at my empty room.
This must be what Cameron has felt like his entire life. The only time my father treated him right was when he spent some time in the Army. As soon as he retired to pursue his dream of a football career, my father’s pride shrivelled up into dust. Dad retired as a General, nothing to sneeze at. You’d think his own accomplishments would be enough for him. However, he’s never been happy unless his sons were following his path, more like marching down it, in uniform. Even being in the military wasn’t really ever enough for him, he always wanted me to be Special Forces, pushing it hard. I’m guessing he wanted to live the adventures he never had in the regular force through me. Too bad my cocaine addiction didn’t fit into his ‘choose-your-own-adventure’ model.
Looking out my window at the lush, green forest surrounding my side of the building I finally feel a calm begin to soothe me. He’ll get over it. That much is true. As long as I clean up and stay with the SEALs, that’s all he’ll need to move on. The night I ran from the cops and left my brother with a bag of coke was a black eye. Not just for my father, but for my relationship with Cameron too. Black eyes heal though. If my brother could forgive me, then Dad will eventually too.
The sliver of good news that my mother delivered pops up from my memory. My big bro got drafted by the NFL! I always knew he’d make it. I can’t wait to get out of here and go watch one of his games. Just goes to show that following Dad’s dreams aren’t worth shit. Cameron broke free, did his own thing and now look at him.
Pride for my brother swells up in my chest and a smile spreads over my lips. I wish I could call him and congratulate him.
THUNK!
My fists ball up at my sides as I whirl around to see who’s coming into my room with the grace of a rhino. The tension eases from my body and my fingers unfurl as my eyes lock on Holly’s impossible sexiness.
Wait, her eyes, they look glassy. Her face is drained of the usual bright glow I’ve looked forward to seeing every day. She looks like a corpse, standing in my doorframe with one fist balled up in front of her and her muscles motionless.
“What’s wrong? I thought you didn’t want us visiting each other’s rooms anymore?” I look over her shoulder, out into the hall for possible staff members. Holly doesn’t move. It’s hard to tell if she’s even breathing. I rush over to her and ease her inside my room, gently closing the door behind her.
“What’s going on?” I prod. “Holly, please tell me. What happened?” My mind begins to race through worst case scenarios as she stares blankly ahead.
“He found me.” Her pale lips barely move as she finally whispers a clue.
“Who found you? What do you mean?” I look down at the fist she’s still holding out in front of her, frozen in time. Between the cracks in her fingers I can see she’s holding something. A paper.
I softly place my hand on her shoulder, “Holly, it’s going to be ok. Let me help you, please.” I slide my hand down to hers and she releases the crumpled paper into my hand.
I pull it open and read the typewritten note, if you can call it that.
I told you I would find you.
I’m going to kill you.
A chill runs through me. Knox. He tracked her down.
“Come here, it’s going to be ok,” I pull Holly against my chest and wrap my arms around her tightly. Her rigid muscles begin to slacken and she falls against me, sobbing. Her tears are wetting my shirt, spreading over my chest like a dark stain. Just like the dark stain from Holly’s past haunting her now.
“Shhh, it’s going to be ok. I promise you. Don’t cry,” I run my hand over her silky hair and try to figure out how this piece of shit found her.
“It w-won’t be,” she sniffles and throws her arms around me tight, pressing her face into me. “He f-found me here. Here! In Canada,” she sobs. “He’s gonna kill me, he’s killed other people who fucked him over, I’m dead.”
“Hey, he won’t come up here. There’s no
way he can cross the border, he’s just trying to scare you.”
“N-no, you don’t understand. He wants revenge. He’ll find a way. How did he find out I was here?” She wails and I pull her in tight.
“Look, I don’t know how he tracked you down here, but he has no reason to try to get revenge. For what? You leaving?” I try to reason with her.
“It’s more than that.” She pulls her face from my chest and looks at me with her red-rimmed eyes.
“What do you mean?” I hold her loosely in my arms and watch as she seems to debate telling me something, her face twists up like it’s painful to think about.
“I shot him,” she whispers, dropping her head.
“Wait, what?” Maybe Holly isn’t the innocent girl who was stuck in a bad life, like I thought. “Did you say you shot him?”
“I did. In the knee. And I stole his car. And ten grand of his money.” She mumbles.
Woah, who the fuck is this chick? Not the woman I’ve been getting to know in here for the last month.
“Why?” I try to put the puzzle pieces together.
“It’s not like I just woke up one day and did it,” she looks back up at me and her lip quivers violently. “He was beating me, with a belt…again. Here,” she pulls away from me and takes a step back. “See?” she leans over, pulling up her pant leg and prying her sock over her heel. Wrapped around her ankle is the faded yellowing stain of an old, thick bruise. Etched into the side of her ankle is a vague imprint of where that sack of shit hit her with the buckle. My muscles tense as my emotions surge through me. If that fucker shows his face around here, I’m going to fucking end him.
Holly fixes her clothes and stands back up, facing me. “He told me, when he was finished whipping me, he was going to fuck me with his gun,” she shivers as she recalls the horror.
“Hey, come here,” I reach out and grab her, pulling her back against my chest. “I’m sorry you ever went through that. Any of that. It’s over now. You don’t need to be afraid.”
“Yes, I do!” Her pitch hurts my ears. “He found me! He’s going to kill me. He’s gonna… “
“No, he won’t. Listen, he can’t cross the border,” I try to explain.
“He has people who can,” she protests.
“Ok, even if he does. Even if they try to come here, you’re safe here. No one is allowed in this building without a code. You’re in a building with twenty-four hour security, in another country, on a property with a fence surrounding it, and you have a secret weapon.”
“What?” She scrunches her nose up in confusion.
“Me.”
Finally, a smile touches her lips and I can’t help but smile back. I want her to feel better. To make her safe. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen.
I watch as a cloud rolls in over her bright blue eyes, “What about after I get out? He’ll just find me again. At my parents’ house!” The revelation strikes her like lightening.
“No. He won’t.” I assure her firmly.
“How do you know?”
“Does he know where you’re from? Where your parents live?” I prod.
“No,” she bites her lip and her eyebrows twitch together. “When I left my parents’ house, I didn’t look back. I never told anyone where I was from, I hoped that if I kept it inside, maybe I would forget too,” she looks down at the floor, her chin trembling.
“Ok, and he won’t find you there.”
“What do you mean? If he found me here, he can find me anywhere.”
“He won’t find you there, because after this you’re going to come live with me. I’ll protect you. And if he tries anything when you’re living at my house, I’ll kill that coward with my bare hands.” I pull Holly in close and kiss her forehead.
“Why would you do that for me?” She whispers like she’s not sure she wants to know.
“Because,” I take a deep breath and look straight into her eyes, “yeah, so um… I’m kind of falling in love with you.”
20
Jake
I can’t sleep. I’m tired enough. Bored enough. Yet, every time I close my eyes, nothing. Just more seconds turning into minutes, dragging into hours. I feel like a damned kid waiting up to hear Santa on the roof. In less than ten hours, Holly and I will be walking out of this place. We’ll be graduates of the program, free to go back to our lives. Lives we left behind, like shattered tile on the ground. Lives that we’ll forge together, as a couple, and create a new picture of our future with the mosaic we build back up.
I twist in the ridiculously small, single bed that I’ll never miss sleeping in. Flipping my pillow, I lie my head on the cool side and try, yet again, to let sleep wash over me. My eyes gently shut and I listen to the soft rain pattering on my window pane.
Nothing.
Wide awake. Ok, enough is enough. I’m getting up. I know better than to go prowling into the night in search of Holly’s room. We made a promise to each other to hold off from anymore of that until after graduation. I glance at the clock on my nightstand. In nine and a half hours. I groan as I imagine feeling her soft flesh under mine as I fill every inch of her pussy with my hard cock.
Nine hours and twenty-eight minutes.
This is going to be the longest day of my life.
I toss on a t-shirt and jeans then slip into my shoes before heading out. I can’t just lie here and miserably wait for time to pass. Besides, there’s only so many times a guy can jerk off in one night before he needs to find a different distraction.
My stomach growls at me, directing my feet to the cafeteria. I know the kitchen is closed at this hour, but they keep the drinks and usually some packages of crackers out to subdue late night munchies. Maybe some crackers and a big glass of milk will do the trick. Isn’t milk supposed to make you tired or something? I think I heard that somewhere.
I turn the corner and stop dead in my tracks. I guess I did fall asleep. This must be a dream. Across the darkened room, in a light linen gown is Holly. The light of the soda machine glows around her head like a halo. Walking up to her, I notice that this feels more real than any dream I’ve ever had. The details that are usually blurry around the edges are now crisp.
As I approach, Holly hears my footsteps and whips around, frightened. “Hey, sorry, I wasn’t trying to sneak up on ya,” I tell her softly, closing the distance between us.
“Oh,” her blue eyes look so vibrant under the eerie light casting off the drink machine. “Jake,” she breathes, her face relaxing, “it’s you.”
“It is,” I nestle up next to her. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” I tease her, pressing myself against her.
“You’re such a dork,” she smirks up at me, but the way she presses her pussy against my growing cock tells me a different story. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d get a drink of milk.”
I knew I’d heard it somewhere.
Under her nightgown, I can see her nipples form into hard peaks. She looks up at me with her eyes half-closed like she’s waiting for me to kiss her. I glance up toward the kitchen door, no one is there. I wind my fingers up in her hair, grabbing a fistful and hover for just a moment over her, breathing her in. This is no dream, this sexy woman, standing in barely anything, this woman I’ve been dying to fuck since the day we met, is very real.
“Mmmm,” Holly moans, testing my restraint. I cover her mouth with my hungry kiss, my tongue easing her lips open and dancing with hers.
I slide both my hands down over her back, cupping her sweet ass and pressing her pussy tight against me. I can’t fucking take this. To hell with nine more hours. To hell with one more second. I wrap my hands around each of her thighs and easily lift her up, spreading her legs around me.
Her natural perfume teases my nose and pushes me over the edge. I need her. NOW!
Walking her over to a table, I plop her down on the edge and slide my fingertips under the edge of her nightgown, exposing her neatly-trimmed pussy. “You keeping that
trimmed up for me, Holly,” I look into her eyes as I run my finger over the short hair.
“Mmmhmmm,” she bites her lip.
“Good girl,” I mumble as I start to slide down to my knees.
“No, we can’t,” Holly pulls on my shoulders to stop me.
“Why? It’s our last day. Who cares what happens? It’s not like they’re gonna kick us out on grad day,” I fall to my knees and lick my lips, ready to worship her.
“I care,” she pleads weakly. I look up at her. Her mouth is telling me a different story than her sexy body, but I still need to listen.
“You’re telling me you don’t want me to make you feel like you did that night?” I cock an eyebrow at her in disbelief.
“I do,” she squirms on the table and my mouth waters. “I really do,” she pants. “It’s just,” she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I made a promise to take this seriously. I want to finish the program by keeping our promise to ourselves and to each other. We said we’d wait. It’s only a few more hours. It’s important to me,” she opens her eyes and stares down at me like she’s uncertain how I’ll react.
I hate how she looks nervous when she tells me something that she knows I won’t like. As if she’s expecting me to freak out at her, or worse. Of course, after what she went through with Knox for five years, it’s probably a hard habit to break. Still, I want her to trust me.
“Ok,” I stand back up and pull down her nightgown. “If it’s important to you, it’s important to me too. We’ll wait,” I pull her down from the side of the table to her feet and into my arms.
“Thank you,” she presses the side of her face into my chest and listens to my heartbeat. “I love you,” she whispers, wrapping her small arms around my waist.