by E Cleveland
“Perfect,” I click the pen and grab the first sheet from the top of the stack. “Ok, where do I sign?”
43
Holly
My shoes squeak against the floor as I make my way down the hall. I’ve been a wreck all night. Almost being kidnapped by Knox, then watching a man who has controlled my life for years finally meet the fate I’ve dreamt about for months; it’s been a lot to process.
I can’t wait to get out of here and see Jake again. I just want to feel his arms around me, I want him to tell me this is all over. To hear him say that it’s all going to be all right. I run my own hand down the length of my hair, thinking about how soothing it feels when he does it. It’s a poor substitute for the comfort he brings me.
I follow the officer guiding me through the halls out to the main entrance. Waiting there, watching the door like a hawk, is my man. He looks so handsome as the worry on his face dissolves into happiness at the sight of me. That look that’s on his face right now. The one that’s about as close to pure joy as you can get without drugs or sex, that’s because of me. It’s an amazing feeling to know someone loves you that much.
“Holly!” He closes the gap between us and wraps his thick arms around me. “Are you ok?” Concern clouds over his sky blue eyes as he looks me over.
“I’m fine, I just want to go home,” I admit.
“Let’s get back to the hotel,” Jake agrees, “it’s been a long night.”
He holds out the crook of his arm, like a gentleman and I lace my own arm through it, exiting the station at his side.
As soon as we walk through the doors, I can hear my mother, “There she is! They’re out now,” I scan the crowd of faces seeing Jake’s parents, his brother and Chelsea, and wedged amongst them are my parents.
“How did you?” I search my mind for answers, “how did you know?” I ask my mother as she races over to my side.
“Jake’s mother called me, we jumped in the car and drove like a bat out of hell to get here. Oh, my goodness! Look at your face!” Tears spring in Mom’s eyes. “Are you ok? She wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek.
“I am, I promise,” I reassure her.
“Give the girl some room, Beverly,” Dad cuts in and my mom takes a small step back. My father steps up to Jake, toe-to-toe, and looks him straight in the eyes, he thrusts his hand out to him and gives Jake a vigorous handshake. “I can’t thank you enough. I’m so glad she never listened to us. We didn’t take it seriously enough when you guys said she was in danger,” my father rambles, “but you were right. You saved my little girl.” Dad’s voice cracks and his eyes well up, “Thank you.”
“I would do it again in a heartbeat,” Jake looks over at me. I know he’s not lying. Jake has told me from the beginning that he would always keep me safe. Tonight, he proved exactly to what lengths he’ll go to in order to keep his word.
“I’m so happy you’re ok,” Mom sobs and my father holds her tight as her tears spill down onto his shirt. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if something had happened to you,” she wails.
“Shhh, she’s ok. You don’t need to think about that,” Dad soothes her.
Jake’s family surrounds him, telling him how proud they are of him and his mother is bawling just as hard as mine is. It’s a lot to try to come to terms with. If the trigger had been pulled while Knox still had control of the gun, our mothers would be crying their eyes out for a very different reason right now.
Jake pulls away from his family, “I’m sorry guys, I gotta do something right now. It can’t wait,” he explains and walks over to me. He pulls me away from my parents, firmly planting a hand on each of my shoulders and looks down into my eyes. God, those eyes. I could get lost in the hypnotic blue forever.
I slap both my hands over my mouth, wincing with the pain of my forgotten split lip, but right now, I don’t give a shit about that. Jake slides down, settling on one knee in front of my and our families collectively gasp along with me.
“Holly, never has it been clearer what I want to do with my life, than right now. Tonight, I almost lost you,” he looks down and shakes his head and I place my hand softly on his shoulder. Jake clears his throat and presses on, “I could’ve lost you, but I didn’t. I know that I never want to spend another day of my entire life without you in it. I don’t have a ring to give you right now, but I still want to humbly ask you, will you be my wife?”
“Here, borrow mine,” Chelsea slides her engagement ring off her finger, putting her wedding ring back in place. She holds it out to Jake and he grasps the gold band with the extravagant diamond, holding it up to me.
“Thank you, Chelsea,” his voice is so full of emotion, it’s amazing he can talk. It’s more than I can say for myself. My words won’t even squeak out past my tight vocal chords.
I nod my head as tears stream down my face and hold out my trembling hand to him. “Y-yes,” I somehow make the word fall out of my mouth.
Jake slides Chelsea’s ring onto my finger and stands back up, sliding his arms around me, he dips me back dramatically and softly covers my swollen lip with a kiss. I can hear our families clapping around us as I melt into his strong arms. I can’t imagine a more intense, or a more perfect proposal. Jake is the only man I’ve ever truly loved, and now I get to show him that for the rest of our lives. This feels like a dream, only better.
It’s a dream come true.
44
Jake
“Let’s get cleaned up,” I walk into the hotel bathroom and run the water into the tub. I mess around with the taps until the water is just right, then search through the array of mini soaps and bottles on a little platter by the sink. I don’t even know what half of these things are. What the hell is a body butter? I finally spot the bubble bath and squeeze the entire pearly goop into the bath, swishing it around until it foams up.
“Sounds great, are you gonna join me?” Holly yells from the other room.
“Of course.”
She appears in the doorway with a smile that could light up the night’s sky. I don’t have a chance to utter a word, I can’t stop studying every inch of her. My gaze slides down to the sparkling ring on her finger. She’s mine. The thought gives me a jolt of pride and I stand a little taller. This amazing woman is all mine.
“Get over here,” I reach my hand out to her and she grasps it with her dainty fingers. Pulling her into me, I lean over her and watch as she flutters her eyes closed, waiting for my kiss. I drag my thumb down the side of her face and lace my fingers through the back of her hair, bringing her lips to mine. I’m careful not to hurt her split lip, the last injury she will ever suffer at the hands of that fucking piece of shit, Knox. May he burn in hell.
I trail quick kisses across her jawbone and over to her ear. Holly moans loudly as I pull her soft earlobe into my mouth and flicker it lightly with my tongue.
I feel her body surrender to me, relaxing in my arms as she tilts her head toward my mouth. I breathe against her sensitive neck, letting the hot air billow around her skin and whisper in her ear, “I love you.”
“Mmm, I love you too,” she murmurs.
“Turn around,” I demand. She does what I ask, she’s my good girl. I slide the zipper on the back of her gown down until it stops just above her ass. The dress peels open, revealing her creamy skin to me. I glide my fingers under the edges, guiding them over her shoulders and helping them down over her arms until her dress is barely clinging to her hips like a hula skirt. Holly shakes her plump ass and the illusion is shattered as the dress crumples at her feet.
I can’t move, I’m transfixed by my woman, my fiancée, standing before me like a goddess. She gasps and quickly goes over to the tub, twisting the taps until the water is nothing more than a couple of drops falling into the full bath.
“You get in first,” I tell her.
She nods. I hold her hand as she gracefully steps into the water. I watch as she eases down into the tub, sliding beneath the rainbow-colored bubbles. She
lays back and flutters her eyes closed as she lets the stress of the last few hours soak away.
I can’t take my eyes off of her. She’s still my beautiful contradiction. In moments like this, she looks so innocent. So untouched by the terrible pain that she’s suffered. It amazes me that someone as tiny and as sweet as Holly has grieved the losses she has and endured the torture she’s been subjected to.
Never again. She’s mine now and I’ll do everything I can to give her the life she’s never had. The life she truly deserves. One filled with love, happiness, and pleasure.
“You’re safe now, just like I promised,” I look down at her.
Holly opens her eyes and smiles despite the tears threatening to fall. “I know. For the first time since,” she tilts her head and thinks, “well, since I was a kid. Since before Heather died, I really believe that. I finally feel safe. Like I can begin again. Like we can start a new life, together.” She wipes away her tears. “Now, get in here with me. I’m lonely without you,” She pleads with me.
I quickly strip out of my dress shirt and pants, the tie and jacket were long ago abandoned. I step into the warm water behind Holly and shift myself so she’s cradled in my arms and between my legs.
“You know, I’ve been thinking about what I want to do after my contract expires,” I cup warm water in my hand and let it fall over her hair.
“Really,” she relaxes back against me, “what’s that?”
“I think I’d like to use my veteran’s education benefit to get into social work, maybe even addiction counseling,” I admit. “I used to think it was all a bunch of bullshit, the counseling thing, you know? Like, how could a bunch of talking help you get over anything? But, look at us,” I smile down at her.
“Look at us,” she agrees as she reaches up and runs her hand over my beard.
“It completely changed our lives. I want to be a part of that for someone else, you know? I want to help other people the same way I was helped. Cause, if they can even find a fraction of the happiness I’ve found,” I lean into her and she twists around so I can kiss her softly, “then that’s a career worth having.”
“I think you’ll be a great counselor,” Holly smiles up at me.
“I hope you realize that we’ll both be students at the same time,” I warn her.
“Yeah, so?”
“Well, I just hope you know that when you agreed to marry me, you were agreeing to years of eating ramen noodles and cheap date nights,” I tease her. “And it’s too late to take it back,” I laugh.
“I don’t want you to take it back,” she giggles. “And I don’t care if we do have to eat ramen or any of that, if I have you, that’s all I need,” she squirms up against me and kisses my cheek.
She knows what she’s doing, the way she’s wiggling her ass against my cock, grinding into me like a dirty girl all while looking at me with wide-eyed innocence.
I groan and pull her tight against me as my cock grows rigid against the crack of her ass. “It’s too bad we took this bath,” I growl.
“Why is that,” she bats her eyelashes at me, toying with me as she rubs herself against my hard cock.
“Because with all of the dirty things I’m about to do to you, you’re going to need another one in a couple of hours,” I stand up and my cock sways slightly. Holly looks at my girth with truly wide eyes now.
I lean over and grab her hands, lifting her easily to her feet. I step out of the tub and then effortlessly lift her into my arms like the bride she has agreed to be and carry her across the threshold into our hotel bedroom.
Holly squeals as I drop her down onto the bed and I immediately jump on, covering her with my body. She’s mine, for now and forever, we might not have walked down the aisle today, but I’m going to fuck her like it’s our wedding night. Tonight is our new beginning, our fresh start. Tonight, will be one she’s never going to forget.
45
Epilogue
Jake
“It’s hard to believe that it’s already been ten years since I graduated from here on this very stage,” I look out into the crowded auditorium at the latest inpatients working through Edgewood’s program. I remember the mandatory attendance at cake nights all too well. When we had to sit through speeches from former addicts and patients of the program who were celebrating months and even years of sobriety. When I sat in those seats, I was never fully convinced I’d ever be back to celebrate my own success.
“It feels like it was a lifetime ago that I walked through these halls,” I look down into the front row to Holly’s smiling face. Next to her, our beautiful five-year-old daughter is grinning up at me proudly. Her long blonde hair is glowing under the fluorescent lights, making her look like the angel she is.
It was important to Holly that we name her after her sister, Heather. From what her parents say, the name suits her just fine. A quiet, smart girl, always quick to laugh or throw her arms around you in a freakishly strong hug for such a little thing. Apparently, she’s a lot like the aunt she was named after.
“In some ways,” I wink at my little girl, already in kindergarten and growing up too fast, “it was a lifetime ago.”
I look down at the notes I’ve made on my phone, resting on the podium. When I was asked to come back here, I came up with a big speech, but now, it just feels all wrong. I stuff my phone in my pocket and clear my throat.
Looking over at the aging faces of the counselors still working here, I remember how I once spent my time scowling at them. I smile at Ms. Morehouse. Hell, I even give Gavin a smirk, although I’m not fully convinced he’s happy to see me.
Filling my lungs full of air, I peer out into the crowd and give my head a shake. It’s time to speak from the heart.
“Listen, I had a big plan to tell you about how well my life is going now that I’m sober. And, it’s true. I found the one woman on this earth who makes me happier to be alive just by waking up next to her in the morning. She gave me an amazing daughter who gives each day of my life meaning. I went to school and am now working in a career I love, helping veterans who suffer from addiction issues. I have all of this now, and I was really excited to share that with you. To tell you how it’s all possible, if you stay sober, if you follow your plan, and if you don’t give up.” I scan the crowd, my eyes settling on faces that could’ve been mine a decade ago. The sour looks of cynicism and doubt.
“But, you know what?” I stare out at them, remembering all too well how it felt to be in their shoes. “None of that matters to you. It’s not a promise that you’re going to leave here and find someone who makes your life whole. There’s no guarantee that you’re going to experience the joy of children, or even be forgiven by the children some of you already have.” The audience murmurs and people begin to shuffle in their seats. I look down at Holly and watch her beautiful blue eyes grow wide with surprise.
“What are you doing?” She mouths the words at me.
“Nobody is promised a beautiful future unless they put the work into the present,” I continue. “When I first walked through the doors of this building ten years ago, well sauntered in is more like it,” I chuckle, “I thought this place was a spa.” A ripple of laughter fills the room.
“Oh, come on, I know I’m not the only one who thought that. Admit it, some of you came in here with your golf clubs ready or wondering where the pool was, right?”
I see the nodding heads in the crowd. The twinkle in their eyes as they agree with me.
“Well, that was me too. I figured this was a joke and for a long time, that’s how I treated it. And guess what? I went home from here and I relapsed the first time I was met with temptation,” I hit my fist against the podium. “I messed up,” I look down into Holly’s eyes still feeling the guilt swirl up inside me all these years later for the pain I caused her that day.
Holly’s eyes are brimming with tears, and she pulls our daughter in closer to her side. I force myself to look away, to find my words, to focus.
“I may hav
e fallen down that day, but the important thing…the life changing thing, is that I got back up. I remembered what I was taught here and I persevered. It wasn’t always easy to stay sober. There were many more tough times. Times when I was tempted. Times when I wanted nothing more than to go back to drugs and forget the pain, but I walked through it. I was forged by the fire that tried to destroy me, it made me stronger and if you don’t give up, if you take this seriously, if you do the work now, you’ll be stronger too.” I take a deep breath and look down at my wife and my baby girl.
My heart swells in my chest, “don’t focus on your failures. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small. Be grateful for the things you have, even when it’s less than what others have. Maybe you won’t have kids, maybe you don’t want to. Maybe you won’t go back to school. It doesn’t matter if you do, really. All that matters is that you don’t give up. I might not be able to promise you the same happiness that’s touched my life, but I can promise you that you’ll find your own.”
I swallow the hard lump threatening to break my voice and look down at my family. The family I never thought I’d find. The family I never thought I deserved. The family that gave me back a life worth living.
“You’ll only be able to live your best life tomorrow by putting the work in now. So, to all of you who have been sitting through tonight with sighs and eye-rolling, believe me, I was once you. I know you don’t think there’s anything out there for you. You’re wrong. Believe in yourself and, I promise you, it gets better. So much better than you can even imagine right now,” my voice cracks as Heather and Holly smile up at me.