Once in my room and alone, I sank down onto the bed, kicked off my slippers, and collapsed against the pillows. I’d hardly rooted into a comfy spot before a knock at the door announced a visitor, who turned out to be Elisia.
“I was following you from a distance and saw you on the Chief Captain’s arm,” she said. “I bethought myself to look in on you. Are you well, my lady?”
I gave a half-hearted nod. “I’m fine. Just…oh, I don’t know.”
Seating herself next to me, she touched my wrist gently. “Whatever troubles you, my friend, let it go. This is not the time to plague yourself with worry.”
“No, Elisia, you don’t understand,” I objected brokenly, wringing a folded hankie between my fingers. “This is all my fault. My fault for making that stupid mistake.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean my healing Garett. It was stupid. Now Ilgard’s the one paying for it, and—”
“Stupid?”
Indignant, my friend shot to her feet. Hands on her hips, she towered over me, green eyes flashing. “Was it stupidity that saved Garett’s life? Stupidity that healed him? Stupidity that rescued the man I love? Would you rather he had died?”
“Hey now, calm down, I didn’t mean that!” I protested, holding up my hands in a defensive posture. “I’m sorry for the way that sounded. I don’t regret saving Garett’s life at all! I’m thankful he’s okay. I’m only saying the way I did it was stupid. It not only harmed me, it harmed others because of me.”
As quickly as it had flared, her anger left, and Elisia was my friend once more. “Ah, you refer to the Simathe High-Chief,” she observed.
I nodded miserably. “You should see him, Elisia. He’s so pale and haggard looking. He’s not supposed to be like that.”
My fingers went back to twisting the handkerchief in my lap until my friend leaned over, laying her hand on top of mine.
“You care for him, don’t you?”
I thought about protesting but didn’t think it would do any good. It was very likely by now that she wasn’t the only one who suspected something was going on. I wished I knew exactly what it was, though.
“Am I crazy?” I whispered.
Sure felt like I was headed that way.
“Some would say no more than me loving a soldier, a High-Chief.”
I narrowed my eyes. What did she mean by that? Surely she didn’t think that I…
Before I could get her to clarify, she went on, saying, “My lady, do not fret. Anyone who undertook what the High-Chief has done for you would be laid low for a time. An ordinary man could not have done it at all. And then to refuse to leave your bedside for several days and nights…naturally, he is worn. Regardless, Lord Ilgard is Simathe. He will recover in time.”
“Maybe. I hope you’re right.” Pulling my knees to my chest, I locked my arms around them. “But he shouldn’t have had to go through that for me.”
“My lady, when the High-Chief Joined with you, he was well aware of the dangers and risks. He chose to do it despite those perils, and we all ought to be thankful that he did.”
“Of course I’m thankful, Elisia. I just—I wish none of this had ever happened.”
The Spinner scooted closer. Draping an arm about my shoulders, she drew my throbbing head down onto her shoulder.
“Oh, Lady Hannah, none of us has the power to change the past. It is to the future we must look.”
What if it’s to a future that doesn’t include Ilgard? What if it’s to a future that does? What if my future is limbo, not knowing what I want or don’t want?
“The future can be a scary thing,” I admitted softly.
“It can,” my friend agreed. “It can be a terrifying thing because it can change in an instant.”
Thinking of that unprecedented moment in the palace hallways, of a very much unforeseen and unanticipated kiss, I had to agree.
“And sometimes it leaves us even more lost and confused than before,” I added.
She looked at me quizzically. “Do you refer again to the High-Chief? You know he will recover.”
I had been, though not in the way she assumed.
“It’s so hard for me to believe I was so far gone that it took both Ilgard and Braisley to bring me back,” I hedged. “Was I really that close to dying?”
“Aye, you truly were,” she agreed solemnly. “Even closer than Garett, if that is possible. The High-Chief gave of his own life-force to restore you, and Braisley was the means by which it was transferred. A mighty fairy indeed was required to direct a thing so powerful as an immortal’s life-force.”
“How did she even know to come?” I asked. “If I was really that close to death’s door, I’m surprised she made it in time.”
“She was at the palace by the time you were moved there. Most of us feared we were moving you there to die; yet there she was. Fairy magic,” the Spinner summarized, shaking her head. “It is unpredictable and mysterious. Likely, we will never know how she knew to come, but come she did.”
“And she couldn’t use her magic to heal me?”
I hadn’t thought to ask her that earlier when she’d told me what had occurred. Then again, I’d been so overawed not only by Braisley herself, but also by the story she wove that I hadn’t thought to ask for extra details.
“No.” My friend shook her head. “You had no wound to be healed; you had a life-force to be restored. I tell you, Hannah, had the High-Chief not been Joined to you, you would have perished. Only through the Joining bond could what you gave be safely replaced. And then, his weakness after the ordeal notwithstanding, the High-Chief refused to abandon your bedside. For more than three days and nights he kept watch, until Braisley finally persuaded him that you would be equally safe in another Simathe’s keeping.”
“He looks so weak,” I murmured, feeling tears as I thought of all he’d sacrificed for me.
“Aye, but he will recover. He needs only to rest. And you, my lady, need your rest as well. Methinks you’ve done too much upon awakening, considering your weakened state.” She stood. “Back into bed with you.”
By this point, I was too drained to do anything except comply with her gentle demands. Crawling to the head of the bed, I collapsed. Sleep rushed in before my cheek touched the pillow, and I barely heard the Spinner say as she tucked the coverlet around me, “Sleep now, and I will wait beside you. When you awaken, you must eat to regain your strength.”
Eat…food… I was pretty hungry, come to think of it. Nevertheless, sleep sounded even better than eating. For now, I gave in to the siren’s song and slept.
Friends
“My lady?”
“Elisia?”
The beautiful Spinner smiled down at me. I waited for her to speak, but she said nothing, just stood there grinning like a fool.
“Okay, what is it?” I snapped, a little annoyed at having been disturbed in my reading. I’d been flipping through a thick tome, Chronicles of Aerisia’s Past, that I’d discovered in the massive palace library, seeking information about the first Artan and what, if any, clues her life might give about my own destiny. “Why are you smiling at me like that?”
In spite of my touchiness, her smile softened. “He has awakened,” came the short reply.
It took less than a second for that to sink in. I didn’t have to be told twice. The book fell into the chair, forgotten, as I picked up my skirts and rushed from the library, hearing my friend’s laughter behind me as I fled.
The door was partially open, and I could hear muted conversation as I approached. My heart was pounding double- time. I knew he could probably sense that, which made me even more nervous. Should I go back, wait until we were alone for this first meeting? Or was it better to do this now with other people around, delaying any potentially awkward discussions?
Since I wasn’t sure I was ready to hash out our kiss and where that placed us yet, I opted for going in now.
Play it cool, I told myself. It’s perfectly natural to be visit
ing him under these circumstances. Nobody but Elisia has to suspect a thing, and they won’t if you don’t act weird.
That advice was all well and good, but before entering, I still took a moment to tidy my appearance, pulling out the ribbon tying back my hair and tucking it into my pocket. I wore no makeup (cosmetics, as they called it around here), and I was clothed in a simple skirt and blouse with tiny embroidered flowers around the neckline and hem, set off by a pair of plain hoop earrings. Still, with my hair down and the blouse’s scooped neckline framing my customary necklace, I supposed I looked presentable enough.
Not like he hasn’t seen you at your best and worst by now. And it’s not like he really cares about your looks. Besides, since when do you care if he does?
Giving my head a shake to toss all these ceaseless arguments and debates aside, I mustered up my courage, knocked softly on the doorframe, and entered the bedchamber. Several people filled the room, including Chief Captain Norband, Lord Garett, Moonkind Risean, and the fairy Braisley. He’d been looking at her, but the instant I cleared the door, his head turned and those inscrutably deep eyes captured mine. Suddenly, I had to remind myself to breathe. The walls seemed to close in, narrowing until only the two of us were present. Or was I imagining things?
Regardless, relief overwhelmed me at seeing him awake and looking more like his normal self. Even though he lingered in bed, he was now sitting up, braced with pillows against the mahogany headboard. His gaze was direct, his eyes clear, and even the skin under his eyes was no longer shadowed by weariness. Except for the fact that he was still in bed, I would never have guessed he’d undergone any sort of trauma.
Several people addressed me as I approached. I thought I made the proper greetings in return, but I admit it was hard to stay focused on acting normal with him right there, awake and undoubtedly aware that inside I wasn’t at all myself. Whatever he sensed, though, he didn’t betray with a look or a word. His expressionless, Simathe’s face was calm, giving nothing away.
Braisley stood, motioning for me to take her chair.
“Thank you,” I said, breaking eye contact with Ilgard as I slid into the proffered seat.
The flow of conversation resumed, but for the life of me, I don’t think I heard a word that was said. Before long, the fairy had excused herself and slipped out of the room. In short order, the others discreetly followed her lead. The door closed behind Risean’s retreating figure, and we were alone.
I smiled at the man across from me. “Hey,” I began, touching his arm softly.
He inclined his head. “My lady.” A brief hesitation, then—“You look well.”
“Thanks, so do you,” I offered almost shyly.
What on earth is wrong with you, Hannah?
There were a lot of things I’d been around the Simathe High-Chief—angry, rebellious, clumsy, ridiculous, defiant, stubborn, awkward. Shy, though—that was a new one.
When he made no direct reply, silence fell. Unsure what to say or do next, I let my gaze drift down, settling on the fingers I folded in my lap.
“I dreamt a beautiful woman, perhaps a fairy, came to me as I slept.”
My chin jerked up.
“I remember…she spoke to me,” he went on slowly, his attention fixed on my face. “I believe she shed tears as well. Tears for me.”
My throat tightened as I stared at him. What had he heard? Did he actually remember my visit?
His eyes held mine for an endless moment, and then…softened. Reaching up, he touched my cheek ever so softly with all five fingertips.
“It was not a fairy, I think. Nor a dream. It was you?”
Hardly daring to breathe, I laid my hand across the back of his and leaned my face into his palm.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“I thought as much.” He fell silent then asked, “Why tears?”
What could I say to that? Because I was overwrought, feeling guilty I’d put him in that position, worried about his well-being, and, most of all, worried about this new phase of our relationship?
“I—I was concerned about you,” I stammered, evading the deeper truth. “They told me what you did. How you saved my life and wouldn’t leave me, even to rest. I’d just woken up, and I felt so terrible about everything. I came to see you, to check on you, and—and you were so pale, and I was afraid…”
“No, Hannah,” he interrupted, voice kind. Beneath my hand, his thumb moved, tracing the contours of my cheekbone. “You need never fear for me, lass.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I’m only human after all.”
He smiled then—a real smile which lingered before fading away as he said, “Human—yet so unlike the rest. I have never seen your like, my lady.”
This made me laugh. “I’ve never seen yours, either.” I paused, hesitating before inquiring, “Are you sure you’ll be all right?”
“I am told I may leave my room on the morrow.”
I smirked. “And since when do you do what anyone tells you to?”
“Braisley has spoken, and one does not lightly anger a fairy.”
“No, nor a Simathe.”
He permitted a brief smile, lowering his hand to the bed. I thought about placing mine inside it, imagining how it would feel to have my fingers swallowed by his. Resisting the impulse, I asked instead, “We’ve been through a lot together, haven’t we?”
“That we have.”
“And we’ll probably go through a lot more, before all’s said and done.”
He studied my face. “As Artan, your journey has scarcely begun.”
“Be that as it may,” I said slowly, “and no matter what happens in the future, I want to thank you right now for everything you’ve done for me. I know in the beginning I resisted everything you threw out there, but I realize now that from then until the present you’ve been my protector, and now I’m honored to call you my—my friend.”
Friend.
It didn’t quite seem to cover everything we’d been, everything we were, or all of the crazy, mixed-up feelings roiling through me. There was so much more to say than a mere offer of gratitude. The time wasn’t right, however. Knowing that, I contented myself with a simple declaration of friendship and went on.
“We’ll probably butt heads in the future; we’re both too stubborn not to, and I know I can be a brat sometimes. You’ve always stood by me, though, and I know I can count on you to be there for me when I need you.”
His countenance changed as I spoke, his eyes regarding me in a way I’d never seen him look at anyone else. Or at me, for that matter. Hope sprang in my chest, especially when he said, “True, my lady. You may always depend on me. I’ll never fail you.”
Preparations
I was on the verge of getting dressed, preparing myself for the Instating ceremony of Aerisia’s newest High Elder. This was Lord Ri Wy’ Joisten, a former member of Council, elected to lead by his fellow council members. Tonight, Lord Ri would be formally welcomed as Aerisia’s newest High Elder in what I’d been told by my friend Rittean would be a “surpassing grand event, especially with the Artan in attendance.”
“Yeah, I’m not too sure about that,” I’d answered wryly, thinking of the handful of formal occasions I’d attended in my former life back on Earth. Basically those had included junior and senior prom and a couple of weddings. I was pretty sure none of them would even come close to the splendor of an Aerisian Instating ceremony, and I couldn’t deny my nerves as I waited on Rosean to come help me dress.
While I waited, I sifted through memories of poor Lord Elgrend, the High Elder who’d welcomed me to Aerisia the day I arrived. I actually didn’t have many memories of him, as the only opportunities I’d had to get to know him were during the past few months here at the palace, and I’d been so busy then that there was little time for friendly socializing. I did regret having to miss his funeral, which had been held a few days after his death while I was sleeping, recovering from Garett’s healing. In fact, Ilgard and I had turned out to
be some of the very few not in attendance for this last veneration of a great man. Even though I hadn’t personally been well acquainted with him, I knew by reputation that Lord Elgrend had been much honored and much loved.
Council, meeting as soon as Ilgard was up and about, had quickly gotten on with the business of choosing a new High Elder. Ordinarily, the office of High Elder went from parent to child, but Lord Elgrend had married young and lost his wife to illness after only a few months of marriage. Since Lord Elgrend had never remarried or produced an heir, Lord Ri was chosen to assume his role, while a respected and prominent Lord of Lands and Ranetron veteran, Lord Hornst Wy’ Justley, had been selected to receive Lord Ri’s seat at Council. Lord Hornst would also be officially welcomed into his new position during tonight’s festivities.
“My lady?” A knock at the door interrupted my musings. My servant girl, Rosean, slipped into the room. “I am come to help you dress,” she said.
“Sounds good,” I agreed, and she was off scurrying about the room, retrieving my gown, fetching my shoes and silk stockings, and laying everything out in readiness upon the bed.
Earlier, she’d been one of my first visitors once I was able to receive any, bringing with her profuse apologies for having ever doubted me. Or she tried, anyway. I’d cut off her explanations and regrets with a hug and a, “Forget about it. Everybody makes mistakes. It’s all in the past.”
That had gone a long way toward soothing matters, but I still felt she was treading lightly around me. I didn’t know if she was afraid I’d change my mind and have her packed off to the kitchens as a scullery maid or maybe come up with some other punishment. I was sorry the relative easiness we’d once shared was gone, but hoped in time we’d get it back. I couldn’t worry about all that right now anyway, since I had to hurry up and dress.
I’d already bathed and had spent the past half hour outside on my balcony in an attempt to coax my hair into drying faster. Sometimes I really missed the modern conveniences of Earth, specifically little amenities such as blow-dryers that I’d always taken for granted. At any rate, my hair was now only a little damp, so I sat absolutely motionless in a chair by my dressing table as Rosean first applied cosmetics then began the process of arranging my hair.
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