He pulled her into a tight hug, and she hoped he found as much comfort in the embrace as she did.
“Thank God he was found,” she said, drawing back a little to look up at Nicholas. “If he’d managed to get away, we never would have known Mary was behind everything and she might have found someone else to finish the task.”
“Yes, thank God and William Tate,” Nicholas said. “He remembered that Harrison had spoken about having family in London. When the groom told him Harrison had headed north, he played a hunch and headed toward town.”
“We must think of a way to thank him.”
“I already have. Since I am now in need of a new valet and I could think of no one more deserving, I offered him the position. I’m sure we’ll both muddle through until he learns the ropes.”
She returned his smile with one she was far from feeling. She’d been trying, unsuccessfully, to shake off the sense of melancholy that had settled over her when she realized what she needed to do. Nicholas had married her thinking he was on the verge of death. It was true that their relationship had grown from the one he’d initially envisioned, but she loved him enough not to force him to spend the rest of his life with someone he didn’t love in return. He had already lost so much in his life. His parents, his brother. He deserved the chance to have someone in his life he could love. If that wasn’t her, she would step aside so he could find that person. It would likely kill her, but she would do that for him.
Nicholas had grown to know her well in the little time they’d been together, and she couldn’t hide her mood from him.
“Something is the matter,” he said lightly, tilting her face up to meet his gaze. He ran his thumb along her lower lip. “You are unhappy.”
Louisa shuddered at his touch. She wouldn’t be able to do this if he was touching her. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of his arms.
“You are completely healthy,” she said.
“I’ll have the doctor look me over, but I hope to learn that I have suffered no lasting ill effects from the poison.” He examined her, trying to read her intent. “I hope the fact that you are now stuck with me indefinitely is not causing you distress.”
He spoke lightly, the words an attempt to elicit a smile from her, but they had the opposite effect.
“Actually, that is what I wanted to speak to you about,” she said. “Now that you are no longer ill, you have no pressing need for an heir.”
His eyes narrowed. “I still need an heir.”
She soldiered on, her words coming out in a rush.
“Yes, but you do not require one from me.” He started to respond, but she held up a hand to stop him. “I have to say this now, while I can. When you asked me to marry you it was a matter of convenience. I required your help and you needed something from me. But that is no longer the case.”
An odd expression crossed his face. His voice was gentle when he spoke. “I still need you, Louisa.”
She waved her hand at him and pressed on. “You need me in the same way you did the mistresses you no doubt had before me, but you do not have to be tied down to me.”
A hint of wariness entered his eyes. “What exactly are you saying?”
This was it. Would he be relieved when she told she was giving him back his freedom?
“The circumstances surrounding our marriage were extraordinary ones, and at the time you were under a misapprehension about your health. We both know that under normal circumstances you would never have married me.” She had to take another deep breath before continuing. “I would understand if you wanted to separate. It is done all the time and no one would talk.”
A long, uncomfortable silence stretched between them when she finished.
“And what about you,” he said finally. “Do you really think I would just cast you aside as so much garbage and go back to living like a bachelor in town?”
She winced at his words and turned away, unable to face him. She didn’t hear him move and was surprised when he spun her around to face him again, his hands gripping her upper arms. He was angry with her.
“Do you think so little of me that you believe I would do that to you?”
She reached up and placed a hand against his cheek. He was so handsome and could still take her breath away. But she loved him enough not to bind him to her if he didn’t share her feelings.
“Ours was not a love match. You deserve that, Nicholas.”
He reacted as though she had slapped him. He released her and took a step back.
“Let us speak plainly here, Louisa. I know you are used to caring for others. Catherine, John, your father. Me. Was that all I was to you? Another cause? Someone for you to nurse, and now that you know I am fine you find the notion of spending the rest of your life with me unbearable?”
She gasped at the bitterness in his tone.
“No—”
He laughed, but the sound was not a happy one. “Well, that is too bad. I will not agree to a separation.”
They stood there for what seemed an eternity. He was so very angry with her. His hands were balled at his sides, his breathing harsh.
“We seem to be at an impasse,” he said finally.
Louisa could feel all the energy draining from her body at his words, to be replaced by defeat. She had ruined everything. She’d wanted only to make him happy, but instead all she had accomplished was to ruin what little happiness the two of them had managed to wring from the situation in which they’d found themselves.
She turned and headed for the door that connected their rooms. He was angry with her and she couldn’t be around him when he was like this. Like the cold, remote stranger she had married. It hurt too much. Perhaps, over time, they could get back to the easy camaraderie they’d recently developed. It might be enough that she loved him and he did seem to like her. Or at least he had before this evening.
She reached the door and turned the knob, but Nicholas came up behind her and reached around her to hold it closed. They stood there like that for several heartbeats, she facing the door, Nicholas looming large and powerful behind her, caging her between his two arms. Her thoughts went back to that other night when she’d found herself in the same position. The night the two of them had made love for the first time.
She was afraid to say anything that might make him angrier. She’d thought only to give him the freedom he deserved, and instead he had taken it as an insult. She should have realized he wasn’t the kind of man who would abandon his responsibilities.
“Is this truly what you want?” he asked, his voice strained. “To leave?”
She closed her eyes as grief washed over her. That was the very last thing she wanted to do.
His mouth dropped to the curve of her neck and he kissed her there. She relaxed into him and released the breath she’d been holding.
“I don’t want to go.”
He turned her then, but didn’t step back. She brought her hands to his chest and met his dark, intent gaze.
“Good, because I’m not letting you go that easily.”
His mouth met hers in a tender kiss that stole her breath. She made a sound of relief and brought her hands up to tangle them in his hair, holding him to her. His hands glided down her back and brought her fully against him.
“Tell me what you do want,” he said, his mouth hovering over hers.
She swept her tongue over his lips and he groaned in response.
“I want you. I know I shouldn’t. You deserve to be happy, Nicholas, not bound to me, a woman you married only out of necessity.”
He lifted his head and stared down at her, clearly baffled.
“I am happy, Louisa. Our marriage may have taken place for all the wrong reasons, but you are the woman I want. The woman I love.”
Happiness unfurled in her chest. “You love me?”
“I would have thought it obvious. I’ve been acting like a lovesick fool since I met you, although it did take me a while to realize it.”
She threw her ar
ms around him and clung to him.
“Does this mean I’ll hear no more nonsense about ending our marriage?”
“I love you, too, Nicholas,” she said, almost afraid to let go of him, lest she find she was only dreaming.
He exhaled with relief and buried his head in her neck. “Thank God.”
Epilogue
If Louisa had thought the activity surrounding the preparation of her wedding trousseau was impressive, the modiste and small army of seamstresses that descended upon Overlea Manor in late winter put that experience to shame. Nicholas’s grandmother had clearly spared no expense in making sure Louisa and Catherine would be dressed in only the most current fashion for the upcoming Season.
Under the discerning eye of one of London’s most sought-after modistes, the sisters had shifted through a seemingly endless variety of fabrics and designs. When that stage of planning their new wardrobes was complete, the never-ending fittings began. Louisa was certain they would never need so many different outfits, but she took joy from seeing how the activity lifted Catherine’s spirits. Her sister’s normal cheerfulness had faded when Kerrick left shortly after the discovery of Mary Manning’s crimes, but her mood had improved with this concrete sign that the start of the Season was almost upon them. Louisa only hoped Catherine would find someone to distract her from thoughts of the man for whom she was so clearly pining.
With only a week left before their departure for London, they were once again in Catherine’s bedroom trying on the last of the new outfits. Two seamstresses were helping Catherine into a new gown while another was on her knees before Louisa, pinning up the hem of her dress. The modiste looked on, her mouth a moue of displeasure as she took in the awkward fit of Louisa’s dress.
Louisa’s thoughts drifted. On the surface, the day was like many others they’d experienced over the last month, but it was one she would never forget. Nicholas had left that morning to deal with estate matters and she was counting the minutes until his return.
“What do you think, Louisa?”
She looked up to see her sister examining herself in the cheval mirror. The pale yellow gown perfectly complemented her sister’s fair coloring and the low neckline was guaranteed to draw attention.
“You will have every man present eating out of your hand,” she said, knowing it wouldn’t be an exaggeration.
They turned at the sound of raised voices in the hallway.
“You can’t go in there—”
The door to the room burst open and Nicholas stood there, his grandmother beside him.
“Thank heavens you are both dressed,” the dowager marchioness said.
Louisa’s heart stuttered, then sped up at the grim expression on her husband’s face. She’d seen that look many times during the beginning of their marriage and had hoped never to see it again.
“What is the matter?” she asked, hurrying to his side.
His gaze swept over the room but before he could reply, Catherine stepped forward.
“I think I would like to take some refreshment. You can all return later to finish the fitting,” she said in dismissal to the modiste and seamstresses.
Nicholas moved into the room as its former occupants filed out. Louisa’s thoughts were centered, though, on what could have happened to upset her husband and paid them no heed. For one heart-stopping moment, she’d almost thought he was having another attack. It seemed she was still not over her concern for his health, despite the fact there had been no further episodes since Mary’s guilt had been exposed.
When the last person had left, Nicholas closed the door and just stood there staring at her. The haunted expression in his eyes had her imagining all sorts of horrible things.
“Has something happened? Nicholas, you’re worrying me.”
He gave a small, abbreviated shake of his head and swallowed hard. “The doctor was here to see you.”
She frowned. “Yes. But why are you so upset?”
He grasped her upper arms. “Why was he here?” His eyes ran over her before returning to her face. “If you are ill…”
Understanding dawned. After having experienced so much death and having had to face the possibility of his own impending demise as well as her own not that long ago, it was only natural that he’d jump to the worst conclusions after hearing about the visit from the physician.
She rushed to reassure him. “Everything is fine. I am well.” When he didn’t release her, she said, “You’re hurting me.”
He dropped his hands and took a step back, but her words hadn’t comforted him.
“You’ve been tired lately,” he said. “And yesterday morning you were ill. You must tell me—”
“No, Nicholas, listen to me. I am not sick.” She took his face between her hands and smiled. “I am with child.”
It was several moments before her words sank in.
“You’re not sick?”
She shook her head. “Well, not exactly. I do feel a little queasy in the mornings, but I am told that is to be expected.”
He drew her hands from his face and clutched them in his own. He closed his eyes and Louisa waited.
“When Grandmother told me you’d sent for the doctor, I was so afraid. I had to see you for myself. Make sure…”
He didn’t have to finish. She knew he’d needed to make sure he wasn’t about to lose her, as well, just as he’d lost his brother and his parents. He crushed her against him and she squeezed her arms around his waist, hoping to impart as much comfort as she could with that simple gesture.
“Nothing is going to come between us. You are well and truly stuck with me.”
“Thank God,” he said, drawing back to look down at her. “You’ve given me everything. A family, a reason to live. And now a baby.”
The look on his face was one of wonder and Louisa felt her heart squeeze. She loved him so much—more than she had ever imagined possible.
His gaze dipped and his expression changed. “What on earth are you wearing?”
She followed the direction of his stare and felt heat creep over her skin at the way her breasts were threatening to spill over the top of the bodice.
“Madame Bonlieu is quite displeased with me. I appear to be increasing in every way.”
Nicholas’s grin could only be described as wolfish. “I heartily approve. Here, let me help you out of your dress.”
“We are in Catherine’s room—”
He didn’t give her a chance to finish before sweeping her into his arms. He opened the door with ridiculous ease and carried her into the hallway, which was mercifully empty. She wouldn’t have survived the embarrassment of having witnesses to her husband’s amorous attentions.
It was not long, however, before Louisa’s thoughts became focused solely on her husband and the lavish attention he was bestowing on her.
THE END
Catherine and Lord Kerrick’s story continues in Beguiling the Earl—book 2 in the Landing a Lord series—which is available now at Amazon (click here.)
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Author’s Note
Thank you for reading Loving the Marquess. If you enjoyed this book, please consider sharing it with a friend. All honest reviews are welcome and appreciated.
I had a lot of fun writing this book. I will admit, however, that I had some difficulty finding the perfect poison that would cause the effects experienced by Nicholas during the course of this story. I settled on the Datura flower as being closest to what I needed, but I will admit that I took some liberties with the symptoms. For that reason, it is never stated outright which plant was used by Mary Manning and Harrison.
I will also admit to a special fondness for the waltz, which in 1806 was still several years from being accepted by British society. I have taken creative liberties by including it here. As always, any mistakes or inaccuracies in the story are my own.
If you’d like to learn more about m
y books, please visit my website at http://www.suzannamedeiros.com. You can also visit me on Facebook—http://www.facebook.com/AuthorSuzannaMedeiros—and Twitter—http://twitter.com/SuzannaMedeiros.
You can sign up for my new release newsletter at http://eepurl.com/nmliD to learn when I have a new release available.
Suzanna
Turn the page to read a preview of Beguiling the Earl—book 2 in the Landing a Lord series—which tells Catherine and Kerrick’s story.
Beguiling the Earl—Suzanna Medeiros
Catherine Evans knows the Earl of Kerrick is the one man for her. During her first season, she hopes he will come to feel the same way about her.
Kerrick has tried to see his best friend’s sister-in-law as a younger sister. But just when he realizes his feelings for her go much deeper than friendship, duty compels him to court another woman.
It is supposed to be a brief courtship in name only, but outside forces seem determined to see Kerrick married to that other woman and to keep him and Catherine apart.
Excerpt
Catherine Evans shouldn’t have been bored. She was in London at a crowded ball and was dancing with a handsome man. Heaven knew she’d been anticipating her first season for months—ever since she’d learned the previous fall that her sister would soon be marrying the Marquess of Overlea. That event had completely changed their lives for the better. Until the day her sister had made the announcement, she’d never thought she would actually find herself in town, attending all manner of balls and other evening entertainments. She’d been looking forward to spring with increasing excitement ever since.
Loving the Marquess (Landing a Lord Book 1) Page 24