Until she remembered how he had let Faith hang too long, creating so much tension for her.
“I’ll have to think about that,” she said, looking around. There was a lot of equipment stashed in the studio. Some of it looked fairly old.
“No one else wants it, and I won't get much for it if I try to sell it.” He sighed as he sat down on a nearby carpet-covered box. “I heard you got the job taking the family pictures at the church.”
“I did.”
“If you want some advice, you’ll want the strobes and umbrellas.”
“I have some speed lights.”
Jeff made a face, waggling his hand. “Strobe lights give you better coverage. Faster. With families you’ll have kids, and they move. A lot.”
Kinsley bit her lip, considering. Though she had done some family shoots, and some indoors, they had always been casual shots. Which was exactly how the clients wanted them. But this would probably entail more formal shots.
“And you’ll need to move quick,” he added. “You’ll be working with time slots and appointments. Cranky kids.”
“Sounds like you know something about this,” Kinsley said, restraining a sudden burst of anxiety.
“I did it a number of years ago.” He shrugged and heaved out a sigh, looking so doleful Kinsley wondered what she had gotten herself into. “But, if I’m around, I might be able to help out.”
“That’d be nice.” She looked over the equipment again, mentally doing the math. She had set money set aside to buy into Jill’s business. The same money she had saved up to buy into Drake and his mother’s business.
Was it enough?
“How much do you want for it all?”
Jeff wrinkled his forehead, as if thinking, scratching his chin. “Tell you what I can do. I’ll let you try everything. See how much you’ll use, and then we can name a price. I’ll be reasonable.”
“You’ve been fair so far,” she said. “I think that’s a good deal.”
“Excellent. I’ll draw something up. Where will you be staying?”
“I’m staying at the Quail Creek Inn, but why don’t you bring it to me at the bank? It’s right in town, and I’ll be starting my job there tomorrow.”
He was about to say something when his cell phone rang. He gave her an apologetic glance. “Sorry. I have to take this. It’s the real estate agent.”
Kinsley nodded as he left the studio to go into the adjoining office. Jeff was not only selling his business, he was selling his house and moving into an apartment. Downsizing his life, he told her with a wry smile.
Kinsley sat down on a stool to give her hip a rest, swiveling as she looked around.
The quiet enveloped her, and for the first time in days, she wasn’t hustling, talking, or planning.
Things had moved quickly for her the past few days.
After Elliot left, she couldn’t stick around the ranch as Tricia had offered. Her heart was aching, and she felt as if her world had come apart.
She drove back to the city, thinking, crying, thinking some more, and praying.
Though her confrontation with Elliot was supposed to be about him, she knew she was being hypocritical, just as Elliot had all but said. That she was doing the same thing she accused him of. Doing the wrong thing for the wrong reasons.
When she discovered that Jeff was thinking of selling his business, she took a huge gamble and approached him. To her surprise he jumped on the opportunity. He had called her while she was in Calgary, and she made some snap decisions.
Jill was disappointed when Kinsley turned down the opportunity to work with her and tried to make her feel guilty about missing out on the, in Jill’s words, “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
But Jill’s words had the opposite effect. If anything, they were a wake-up call to Kinsley, warning her what working with Jill would be like.
She thought of Elliot’s initial reaction to Jill and, as always, thinking of him was like a stab to her heart.
You’ll get over it, she told herself, closing her eyes.
But, as usual, doing so only brought Elliot’s picture to mind. The way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, how his hair curled, and how soft it was when she slid her fingers through it—
Stop. Stop.
She clenched her fists, fighting the waves of sorrow that memories of Elliot gave her. The pain will go away, she told herself. It had before.
But even as she clung to that reassurance, deep in her heart she knew it wasn’t true. Elliot had wound his way into her heart so quick and so deep. His humor, the way they connected, how he helped her with her fear of horses. All this combined to make her realize how much he meant to her. How much she missed him now.
Why had she pushed him so hard? Why had it mattered so much?
The questions that had roiled through her mind the past few days held the same vestige of regret. But as she relived their conversation, as she considered it from all angles, she knew she was right to let him go.
Just as she was right to let go of what she thought she should do and do what she wanted to do.
Yes, photography would only be part-time for now, hence the job at the bank. But she sensed she could do well if she applied herself. The job doing the church photo directory was an answer to a prayer she hadn’t even dared utter.
This would work, she told herself as she looked around the studio, taking in some of the photos that Jeff had framed and pinned to the walls. If he could make a go of it, despite his lack of enthusiasm, she surely could.
She would be living close to Faith. She and Tricia had gotten to know each other well. The community was a good place.
Sure, she might have to see Elliot from time to time, but given the direction he was headed, she doubted he would be back in Rockyview much.
She pulled in another deep breath and with it a prayer for peace. It would all come together. She had to trust God had brought her to this place, had given her this opportunity, and that she now had to use it well.
She just wished her heart would stop aching.
“Okay. That’s all done,” Jeff said as he came back into the studio. “Sorry about the interruption.”
“Not a problem,” Kinsley said, standing up. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I think I have a buyer for the house, so that’s good.”
“Nice. Glad to hear that.”
“Like I said, I’ll get something together for you and bring it to the bank.” Jeff fidgeted a moment, and Kinsley sensed he had other things to take care of.
“Thanks for your time,” she said, shaking his hand. “And I’m excited about the business.”
Jeff looked around the studio, a melancholy smile on his face. “Lots of memories captured here.” Then he shrugged. “But I know when it’s time to move on. I’m looking forward to traveling. Doing more nature photography.” He nodded, as if underlining that resolve when his cell phone rang again.
“See you tomorrow then,” Kinsley said.
She took one more look around, trying to imagine herself working here. Capturing memories.
She took in a trembling breath, stilled the doubts that could still clutch at her, and walked to the front door.
As she stepped outside, she was momentarily blinded. The studio had been darker, and it took her a few seconds to adjust to the light. She blinked a few times and then, just as she was about to walk to her car she heard her name being called.
And her poor, overworked and bruised heart leapt in her chest.
Please, Lord, she prayed as she turned to face Elliot.
He looked as tired as she felt, she thought, as she drew in a long, slow breath, trying to still her pounding heart.
“Hey,” was all she could manage. She swallowed, then swallowed again.
“Hey yourself.” He not only looked tired, he sounded tired. He wore an old jean jacket, but his head was bare.
“What…why…” She stumbled over her words, annoyed that all it took was one look at him and she wa
s reduced to this stumbling idiocy. She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin, determined not to let him get to her. “What are you doing here?” she finally asked.
“Looking for you.”
He only spoke three words, but they deflated her anger.
“Why?”
“You were right.”
His words sifted through all the pain she had endured the past few days, creating a flare of longing. Their eyes held and hope quivered in her soul. Could it be?
“Elliot. What you doin’ here?”
The slurred and angry voice broke into the moment, shattering it, echoing down the street.
A man strode across the road toward Elliot and Kinsley.
“You ain’t s’posed to be here,” the man shouted, waving his arms, his eyes wild. “You’re s’posed to be in Armstrong. Pro circuit rodeo.”
Kinsley felt herself recoil at the anger in the man’s face, in his posture, his voice.
Elliot closed his eyes, as if praying for patience, then gave Kinsley a humorless smile.
“Kinsley, meet Dennis.”
Ice slipped through her veins as she looked at the raging man with a battered cowboy hat, worn plaid shirt, and torn blue jeans. His craggy face was full of broken veins, his skin like old, cracked leather. He had a look about him that made Kinsley move just a little closer to Elliot.
“You best get goin’, mister,” Dennis shouted, now standing directly in front of Elliot. He lifted his hand and poked a bony finger into Elliot’s chest.
Elliot grabbed his father’s hand and pushed it aside. “Don’t ever do that again,” he said, his voice even, controlled. But Kinsley heard the edge in it.
“Why ain’t you gone?” Dennis yelled.
“I’m not going,” Elliot said, taking a step closer to Kinsley, standing right beside her now, as if to protect her. “I’m done.”
“What? Whaddya mean, done?”
“I’m not competing. I’m finished with the rodeo.”
Kinsley heard his words, but they wouldn’t register.
“You’re finished?” she asked, trying to make this all fit.
Elliot’s expression shifted to softness as he gave her a careful smile. “Yeah. I did a lot of thinking the past few days.”
“You should be thinkin’ ’bout how you’re gettin’ to the CFR,” Dennis said, his hands resting on his hips as he swayed back and forth.
Kinsley caught a whiff of rancid alcohol.
Elliot heaved out a sigh and turned back to Dennis. “I’m not going. I don’t care about the CFR. It means nothing to me.”
His father blinked slowly, then a sinister smile crept over his lips. ”You realize what this means?”
“Yes. Nothing.”
“It means everything,” Dennis slurred. “It means you’ll never win that title. You can never say you went to the CFR. You can never say you beat your old man.”
Elliot said nothing for a beat, simply staring at his father. Then he laughed.
“I already have.”
“What you mean by that? You’ve never been better than me.”
“I know I have,” Elliot said. “You can have your CFR title, you can have your winnings, your buckles, and your glory. I don’t want any part of it.”
“Yes you do. You need this.”
“I never did. I don’t know why you care. But it doesn't matter anymore. Because you don’t matter anymore.”
Dennis sputtered, staring at him as if he couldn’t understand a word Elliot said.
Elliot took Kinsley’s hand. “I don’t know about you, but I want to get outta here.”
Kinsley nodded, and without a backward glance, they left.
Dennis called out to them, yelling at Elliot. But Elliot kept his face ahead, his jaw set, as they walked away.
“Where are we going?” Kinsley asked.
“There’s a path along the river,” Elliot said. “Let's go.”
As they walked, Dennis yelled after them, his voice growing more faint with each step they took.
Kinsley could hardly believe what she had just heard. A hundred questions tumbled through her head, but she waited.
“Just head down here.” Elliot pointed to a side street that angled down. She could hear the river splashing over rocks, the sound growing louder as they walked downhill.
A few moments later they were in a parking lot. A few cars and trucks were parked there and in the distance Kinsley could hear a dog barking.
“We’ll go this way,” Elliot said, pointing to an even, paved path that led off the parking lot.
Kinsley felt as if she were in a dream. As if she would wake up and none of this would be real.
The path curved, and ahead of them was a bench that looked out over the river, its back to the path.
They walked to the bench and Kinsley sat down, hugging her purse, as if protecting herself.
Elliot dropped onto the bench beside her, glancing over his shoulder as if to make sure Dennis didn’t follow them.
“I’m so sorry about that,” he said, shifting his arm to rest across the back of the bench. “I didn’t know he was in town. Just bad luck.”
Kinsley nodded, watching the water catching bits of sun, spangling it back at them, dancing over the river bed. She inhaled slowly, centering herself.
“Did you mean what you said?” she asked finally. “About quitting the rodeo?”
“I did.”
Kinsley looked at him, puzzled. “Why?”
He leveled her an incredulous look. “Really? You laid out every reason I should the last time we talked. If you want to call it that. And now you’re asking me why I took your advice?”
Kinsley nodded, not sure what to make of his questions.
“You were right,” he said finally. “I was doing the wrong thing for the wrong reason.” He heaved out a sigh, taking his arm away, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared ahead. “Like you said, I was trying to beat my dad at his own game. Trying to prove something I never needed to prove.” He angled his head to one side to look at her, his eyes piercing. “I may have my ghosts and my shadows, but I know one thing for sure. I don’t want anything to do with the things Dennis has done. I don’t know how much of his character I got from him. That used to scare me. I guess I always thought if I did what he did, but did it better, I’d show him I’m better than him. But I know now that I’ve had a better example of fatherhood, and I’ve been taught how to make good choices. And I choose to quit trying to prove something to Dennis that I was really trying to prove to myself.”
His words rang with a sincerity that gave Kinsley goose bumps as did the intensity of his look.
“I’m glad to hear that,” she said. “I’m so glad.”
He straightened up and smiled at her. “Me too.”
They were quiet a moment, allowing his words to rest between them.
“How did you know how to find me?” she asked. Part of her wanted to throw herself in his arms, but it felt as if there were something hanging between them yet. Something that needed to be cleared up.
“Jill told me,” he said. “And I have to say I’m glad you decided not to work for her.”
“You went to see her?”
“I thought that’s where you would be,” Elliot said. “I needed to talk to you. But you weren’t there. She told me you had come back to Rockyview.” He shifted a little closer to her, taking her hands in his, squeezing them gently. “So why did you come back here?”
“You aren’t the only who can follow advice, you know. And you're not the only one who needed to be told to shift plans. I’m buying Jeff’s photography business. I won’t be able to do it full-time right off the bat, so I got a job at the bank. It’s just part-time, but it should work out.” She stopped, getting distracted by how Elliot’s thumbs were tracing small circles over the backs of her hands, sending delightful shivers dancing up and down her spine.
“Well, that makes my heart glad,” Elliot said.
/> Again silence drifted between them, again their eyes caught and held.
“So what happens now?” Kinsley asked.
“I’d like to leave that up to you,” Elliot said. “I’m willing to follow your lead.”
“That’s a new angle for you,” Kinsley said, her lips shifting into a smile.
She squeezed his hands then leaned close and pressed her lips to his. Suddenly his arms were around her, holding her tightly against him while his mouth moved over hers, creating a thrill deep inside of her that spread, filling her, creating a yearning for more.
The kiss went on and on, and yet, when he pulled away, she felt as if it hadn’t gone on long enough.
He leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes closed. His hands resting on her waist.
“You mixed me up so much,” he said, his voice quiet. “I was so turned around, I didn’t know what I needed or wanted anymore. But then a song on the radio reminded me. Reminded me that I was looking in the wrong place, looking to the wrong thing to save me. That only God can give me life. And I realized that I’ve been blessed to be a part of a family and a community given to me by God.”
He drew back, his hands cradling her face. “I’m so thankful for what you showed me,” he said. “So thankful that you reminded me that I have two fathers who love me dearly.”
Kinsley smiled, looking away from him to the river flowing below their feet, the same river she had fallen into. The same river he had ridden his horse across. “Even though our first meeting wasn’t the best,” she said, smiling at the memory.
“It wasn’t exactly the best first impression,” Elliot said. “But don’t forget, you were the one that was trespassing.”
“I wasn’t really trespassing,” Kinsley protested, then caught the glint in his eye and the lift of his lips. She decided to play along. “You do realize that the river is not private property. I had every right to be there.”
“I can tell you’re gonna be a lot of fun to argue with,” Elliot said.
“So you’re going to stick around long enough to find out?” Kinsley asked.
Elliot grew serious at that, his hands lowering back to hers again. “I talked to Zach… Dad,” he said, his voice growing serious. “Dad told me there’s a place for me on the ranch. I think I’m going to take him up on that.”
Taming the Cowboy Page 24