by Roxie Rivera
“Yes!” She scrolled between the photos. “Exactly like this! But maybe in a brown leather? I’m not really a fan of black.”
“All of my handbags are made-to-order. I can do any color you like.”
“Do you have a shop?”
“I work out of my house right now. Well,” I corrected myself, “I’m working out of Alexei’s house at the moment.”
“Oh! Well that works nicely. We live a few blocks away. I can pop over sometime if that’s okay.”
“It’s definitely okay.”
Vivian sipped from a water bottle and shifted in her chair. She swirled her feet through the hot water. “I work from home now. It’s nice. I like being able to just walk downstairs and go to work, especially lately when I’m up all night with heartburn and insomnia.”
As she rubbed her pregnant stomach, I was struck by the realization that we weren’t that far apart in age. Seeing her so obviously happy about starting a family left me feeling conflicted and maybe even a bit envious. Alexei and I had been playing a dangerous game together, forgetting to use protection more often than not. Even though my usual cravings for salt and the discomfort of sore breasts seemed to confirm Aunt Flo’s impending visit, there was always the slimmest possibility that I was wrong. It didn’t scare me nearly as much as it should have.
“Where is your shadow?”
“My shadow?”
Vivian smiled as if we shared a secret. “Stas.”
“Oh. Right. He’s at the coffee shop next door. I assume your shadow is nearby, too?”
“Shadows,” she corrected. “Two for me.” She touched her stomach. “Two for him.”
“I guess I should stop complaining about Stas. At least there’s only one of him following me everywhere.”
“Oh, it’s not so bad. Krisha is just part of this life.”
“Krisha?”
“Roof,” she explained. “It’s what they call the protection arrangements we have. Like a roof protects the house, you see?”
“Oh.”
“You’ll get used to it. My four shadows are like family now. Ten is really just a big teddy bear once you get to know him. Boychenko is a sweetheart. Ilya always has the best gossip and stories. Danny sneaks me pan dulce from Benny’s bakery once or twice a week. Honestly? It’s like having four seriously overprotective brothers. I was an only child and I always wanted brothers. It’s like wish fulfillment twenty years later,” she laughed.
Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the cushioned seat and enjoyed the hot water bubbling around my feet. “One older sister has been enough trouble for me.”
“It will be all right,” Vivian said softly. “Alexei won’t let anything happen to you, and I can promise you that Nikolai won’t either.”
I glanced at her and saw the sincerity in her eyes. “I hope so.”
She reached over and touched my hand. “I know so.”
My cell phone buzzed, and I fished it out of my purse. The snap from Kylee made me giggle. She had taken a selfie with an exaggerated expression of pain as she waited in one of the aesthetician rooms for her waxing appointment. I snapped a quick photo of myself relaxing with a content smile and sent it her way.
“Are you Snapchatting with Alexei?” Vivian had her phone in her hand and seemed to be texting someone. “I’ve been trying to convince Nikolai to let me add the app to his phone for us to use, but he’s all security this and NSA that so…” She rolled her eyes. “I tried telling him that the NSA doesn’t care about our selfies but…”
“This one is from Kylee. She’s in the back about to get up close and personal with some hot wax.”
“Ouch!”
“I showed Alexei how to use Snapchat this morning.” Amused, I admitted, “He sent me a snap of his blueberry muffin and a cup of coffee. I think it’s going to take him a while to figure it out.”
Vivian laughed. “Start sending racy snaps. He’ll figure it out quick enough.” Holding out her phone, she said, “Give me your number. We’re neighbors now. We should get together for lunch or something.”
“I’d like that.” We exchanged phones and typed in our contact information. As I handed back her phone and took mine, Kylee strolled out of the spa, grabbed a funky sea blue shade of polish and hopped into the seat next to me. She leaned forward to wave at Vivian and soon they were chatting back and forth.
My pedicure and manicure finished before Kylee’s so I settled our bills and tips and waited for her in the lobby. I snapped a selfie of my new haircut and color and sent it to Alexei. He responded seconds later with a phone call.
“Hello?” I answered quietly so as not to disturb any of the other patrons.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” Feeling giddy at the sound of his deep, dark voice, I couldn’t help but smile.
“I’d like to take you out and show you off, but I have a meeting soon and then promised to do a favor for a friend tonight.”
He didn’t have to tell me who that friend was or why he had to do him a favor. I had a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that Nikolai would expect many such favors from Alexei for the protection he had extended toward me.
“But I’ll make it up to you when I get home,” he promised. “I have to go. I’ll call you when I’m headed home tonight. Stay close to Stas. All right?”
“I will.” We ended our call with softly spoken goodbyes just as Kylee appeared in the lobby. We left the salon together and came face to face with two men in black leather jackets. They both had tattoos like Alexei’s. The younger of the two men looked very familiar to me. He nodded toward me in acknowledgment. “Ma’am.”
I suddenly remembered where I had seen him. He had come to my rescue with Alexei. “Mr. Boychenko.”
His companion laughed and said something to him in Russian that made Boychenko’s ears turn red. I sensed it was good-natured ribbing between two men who seemed close as brothers and left it at that. Kylee and I continued toward the coffee shop.
“What was that about?” she asked.
“Those are Vivian’s guards. One of them—Boychenko—came to help me the other night.”
We exchanged a look, and I could tell that I didn’t need to tell her the rest of it. We entered the coffee shop and found Stas sitting at a table with two men that I assumed were Vivian’s other guards. The bearded one shocked me with his size. Standing at full height, he was probably seven feet tall and all tattooed muscle. With a bear like that at Vivian’s side, she was the safest woman in all of Houston.
Kylee and I ordered drinks and then left with Stas. She had an extra shift to get to so we dropped her off at her apartment. Before she got out of the car, she poked my shoulder. “We’re still on for my birthday tomorrow, right?”
“Of course.” My life might in the worst state of flux right now, but I wasn’t going to abandon my best friend on her birthday. If we didn’t go out as we normally did, it might arouse suspicions. We needed to keep to our normal routines.
“Whatever you two are planning, it needs to be cleared with Alexei,” Stas warned. “And I’ll have to go with you.”
Kylee rolled her eyes. “Comrade, if you want to get dressed up, eat cupcakes and go dancing with us, you just have to ask.” Stas scowled at Kylee who laughed and clambered out of the car. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Okay. Bye!”
“Comrade? She does realize that I’m not a fucking communist?”
“She was teasing,” I said and put a hand on his arm. “She only said it because she knew it would bother you.”
He grumbled under his breath and put the car in drive. “I need to make a stop on the way home.”
“That’s fine. I’m not in any rush. Where are we going?”
“I have to settle a debt.”
“A debt?”
“That afternoon you and your friend ran away I promised the security guard a payment if he would let me access the tapes. It took me a few days to scrape it all together.”
“Stas!” Guilt clawed at me. “Let me pay it. You shouldn’t have to spend your own money on my mistakes.”
“It wasn’t money he wanted.”
“What did he want?” Stas refused to meet my gaze or answer so I asked again, “Stas? What did he want?”
“It’s not important, Shay. The less you know? The better.”
More and more, those six words seemed to rule my life. As Stas navigated busy streets, I thought of Vivian. Was this how it was in her marriage? Did she blindly accept whatever Nikolai told her and not ask any questions?
No. She seemed to know a lot more about what was happening in Houston. I didn’t imagine Nikolai told her everything, especially not the seedy, nasty, violent things, but I doubted he kept much from her. She didn’t strike me as the type of woman who would take that shit.
So why are you?
It wasn’t the first time I had wondered that. Alexei wanted to protect me by shielding me. I respected and understood that. Sitting here next to Stas, I accepted that there were actually some things I really didn’t want to know. My life was complicated enough right now. I didn’t want to know about the ugly, distasteful things that made the underworld work.
Stas and I no longer had the garage parking permit for the penthouse’s private garage, but he was able to sweet talk the attendant into letting us through because she recognized him. He pulled into a visitor spot that was a tight fit and boxed in by pylons. “Are you coming in with me or staying here?”
“I’ll stay here.”
“I’m leaving the keys with you.” He dropped the key fob into the cup holder between us. “Lock the doors. Don’t open them for anyone but me.”
“Yes, Warden.”
Stas got out of the car and waited until he heard the doors lock to walk away from it. I leaned back in the seat and checked the notifications on my phone. I glanced up whenever I heard a vehicle approaching or noticed movement in the mirrors. Nothing seemed out of place or odd—until I recognized the black SUV rolling into the parking garage.
What in the world was Alexei doing here? I twisted in my seat to make sure it was actually him and it was.
Amused that we were in the same place at the same time, I called him. When he didn’t answer, I decided to walk up the next level to his parking space. Stas would probably flip his lid if he came back to find me gone so I texted him my plan as I killed the engine and got out of the car.
I followed the incline up to the next level and came around the corner just in time to see Alexei step out of his SUV. I started to call out to him but stopped when I realized he was smiling at someone else.
What the hell?
Frozen in place, I watched as Alexei embraced a slender and very elegantly dressed woman.
It was her. It was the redhead from the salon. It was the woman who had plans to meet up with her ex.
Her ex?
My current boyfriend.
Alexei.
Shocked, I watched her slide her arm through his. They laughed and smiled at each other as they walked toward the elevator. Not wanting to be caught, I backed up quickly, hiding my body behind a concrete pillar. Putting a shaking hand to my throat, I tried to swallow the quivering ball choking me.
“What the hell are you doing?” Stas startled me as he came up behind me without warning. “I told you to stay in the car.”
“I saw Alexei,” I numbly replied.
“Alexei? Here?” Stas stepped around the pillar and spotted the SUV. “Why are you hiding here? If you saw Alexei, why didn’t—”
“He wasn’t alone.” The words came out so quietly that I wasn’t sure he heard me. “He was meeting a woman.”
“Blin.” Stas grabbed my hand and tugged me back toward the car. “We need to get out of here right now.”
The stupor that had momentarily taken hold was replaced by anger. What the hell was Alexei doing here with that woman? Why hadn’t he told me he was meeting someone here at the penthouse?
I already knew that answer, of course. I knew that he wouldn’t have lied to me about a business meeting and a favor for a friend if there was an innocent explanation for this. There was only one reason to take that woman to the penthouse in the middle of the afternoon.
Furious, I dug in my heels. “No!”
Stas whirled back to me. “Yes!”
“No!”
“Shay, we are leaving right now. If you don’t walk, I will pick you up and carry you to that car. Do you understand me?”
“Screw you! I’m going up to that apartment and I’m going to confront him.”
“No, you’re not.” Stas put both hands on my shoulders. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he lowered his face until we were eye to eye. “I’m not going to stand here and let you make a scene and embarrass yourself. You’re going home. You’re going to cool off and calm down and then you’re going to make peace with this and keep your mouth shut.”
“Why the hell would I do that?”
“You’ll do that because you’re going to go home and realize that without Alexei you have nothing. You have no home. You have no money. You have no job. Your sister is still missing. Mueller and the Mexicans have both painted a target on your back. That man is the only thing that stands between you and death. If you want to stay alive, you need him and you need to keep him happy.”
Torn up inside, I blinked rapidly and tried to fight the tears burning my eyes. I didn’t want to accept anything Stas had to say, but deep down inside, I knew he was right. Without Alexei, I was as good as dead. Sooner or later, Lalo’s body would be found and I would be marked for death.
But I didn’t want Alexei like this. I wanted him the right way. I wanted him to love me as much I loved him. I wanted him to be mine and only mine forever. I didn’t want to share him with anyone else.
“This is so fucked up, Stas.”
“Life is fucked up.” Gently wiping away the tears on my face, Stas said, “It’s time to grow up, Shay. You’re sweet and kind and good. Alexei loves that about you. He’s offering you the full package. He’s offering you a home, money, access to powerful people and trendsetters. He’s offering you a future.”
“So what? You’re saying I have to accept that?” I gestured toward his SUV. “That I have to just swallow his infidelity?”
“These whores get the penthouse. They get an hour of his time and then they’re done. But you? You’ll get the ring. You’ll get the house. You’ll get his name. You’ll have his babies. He’ll take care of you, and you’ll be happy if you can learn to cast a blind eye to this bullshit. It’s a small price to pay.”
“That’s not good enough for me, Stas.”
His mouth flattened into a sad line. “Then you’re a fool, Shay.”
“I guess I am,” I agreed miserably.
Stas awkwardly hugged me, wrapping his brawny arms around my shoulders and squeezing me tight. His embrace surprised me at first. He wasn’t the most touchy-feely of guys, but deep down inside, he was a good man. He didn’t always say the nicest things, but he was gentle when it counted. He understood that I was in pain and needed some support right now.
With his arm around my shoulder, he led me back to the car and helped me into the passenger seat. We didn’t speak as he drove me back to Alexei’s house. I stared out the window and tried to process everything that had just happened. I didn’t know what to think or feel anymore. Everything I had accepted to be true about Alexei and about our relationship had been decimated. It was all lies. All of it.
I have to get out. I have to get out now.
But where would I go? Kylee? She was already on the hook for Lalo’s death. If I ran to her, we would be two perfectly placed targets alone in that apartment of hers.
Shannon.
I could try to find Shannon and then we could disappear together. I had the money Alexei had given me, not a lot, but it would be enough to get us on a bus. We’d have to start over, but we weren’t afraid of hard work. We could sleep in roach motels a
nd eat ramen until we had enough scraped together to get an apartment.
“Don’t even think about it,” Stas warned as we walked into the house a short time later.
“Think about what?” I played dumb.
“You’re thinking about running. It’s not going to happen, Shay. Not on my watch. I’ll handcuff you to me if that’s what it takes to keep you safe.”
He was dead serious. “Stas—”
“No, Shay. You are safe here. It might not be ideal, but you’ll have to learn to accept it. For both our sakes,” he added. Taking my hand, he dragged me through the house to the office I had taken over with my supplies. Flipping on the light, he pointed toward my tools. “The best thing you can do right now is take all that anger and pain inside you and turn it into fuel for work.”
“Work? Right now? When I feel like I’m dying inside?”
“Yes. Right now.” He gave me a little push toward the desk. “Alexei believes in you and in this business. He’s not wrong about either of those things. He believes you’ll be a success. Use him to get what you want.”
“That’s so cold, Stas.”
“And fucking that other woman while you’re here playing house isn’t?”
I recoiled at the ugly way he framed it. “Stas!”
“It’s the truth, Shay, and that’s why you have to listen to me,” he insisted. “You have a big, soft heart, Shay. Make your money. Get back on your feet. Then get the hell out before he ruins you.”
He’s already ruined me, I thought dejectedly. I had fallen for Alexei’s charm like so many other women before me. I was a fool. I was just as stupid and pathetic as my mother had been, always chasing after the wrong men.
I had believed I was different, that Alexei could love me more than any of the others because I was special, but I had been dead wrong. I wasn’t special. I wasn’t different. Naïve. Childish. Hopelessly romantic. I was all those things.
Stas was right. It was time for me to grow up and see the world as it truly was. My life had taught me many painful lessons. This failed relationship with Alexei was just another one of them. I had been an idiot to place my safety and my future in the hands of a man. I had given up my home and my job for empty promises.