by Lee Wardlow
“We all came home at Christmas break. We had been gone for four months,” she explained. “Something was wrong. Will and I had been communicating through email. Occasional phone calls but those were expensive, so we had to keep that to a minimum.”
I began to put two and two together. “Nina and Will’s son Max is twenty-four,” I said.
She nodded. “There was a party on campus that they both went to. They had too much to drink and Nina woke up in Will’s bed. When they came home at Thanksgiving, they knew she was pregnant, but I couldn’t come home. I had finals in two weeks. I was swamped. I told Will I loved him, but I would have to see him on Christmas break.”
“Wow, what happened?”
She smiled at me. “I came home, found out they were getting married and living with Aunt Bet and Uncle Charlie. Will was finishing school and working part time at the Auto Zone. Nina had Max. I went back to my school numb.” She chuckled. “Lucky for me I met your dad within three months of that otherwise I don’t know what I would have become. I was drinking a lot at college parties. I slept with a few guys but that didn’t ease the hurt at all.”
I peeked at Gram to see what she was thinking about this conversation and as I thought, nothing bothered Grandma. She took it all in stride.
“Then your Dad asked me out on a date.”
“The rest is history. You fell madly in love,” I declared.
Mom burst out laughing. Grandma snorted at her.
“Hardly Abby. I liked him but he was focused on studies. It took me going out with another guy or two, or three or four before he realized if he didn’t put as much time into our relationship as he did his degree, he was going to lose me.”
“I wasn’t that bad,” Dad said. We didn’t realize he was standing in the doorway listening. “Why are you ladies talking about our ancient history?”
“Reminiscing Tyson,” Mom informed him.
He shook his head. “I’m heading to bed. Just wanted to say goodnight.”
“I’ll be there soon.” My mother smiled at him before he said, “Goodnight,” then Dad closed the door behind him.
“I do love him,” she said with a smile on her face. “But Abby I admit that since you said what you did at the grocery store, being content doesn’t feel like enough.”
I didn’t know what to say to Mom. I hadn’t meant to rock the boat or upset the apple cart as Grandpa used to say to us. She leaned over and kissed my cheek then told me goodnight. She hopped up then hugged my grandmother.
“I love you Mom,” she said holding her tight.
“I love you too, Kat.”
We watched Mom walk out of the bedroom then I glanced down to the end of the window seat at my grandmother. “Is Mom okay?”
“She is,” Gram replied. “She wants a close relationship with you like she and I had. She’s not sure how to get that. I told her to relax and it would happen.”
“The one that you and I have always had.”
“That’s right Abby. The one that you and I have always had. Honey, I know it hasn’t been easy these last few years with Tyson in the limelight. His name in the papers and interviewing on television. I saw your mom and dad getting caught up in all his glory…” Gram hesitated. I looked away. She scooted down beside me and laid her hand on her my bent knee. “Abby look at me.”
I turned my gaze towards my Gram. “No matter what you were thinking Abigail they still loved you madly.”
I felt the tears rolling down my face.
“Come here,” she said, and I slipped into her arms so easily. I had missed her embrace. Her tender caress on my back. Gram’s soft touch on my shoulder as she comforted me.
“I felt so alone here without you until Cal looked at me and smiled. Told me how beautiful I was,” I sobbed.
“You are beautiful, Abby.”
I didn’t feel beautiful. Compared to my family of gorgeous people. Needing glasses made me feel awkward and nerdy. Kids at my old school called me nerdy girl or worse. She didn’t need to hear that. Not Gram. To her I was her beautiful Abby.
She pushed me back and removed my glasses, laying them beside her. Then she wiped my face. “Stop that now. What brought on those tears?”
“I’ve missed you,” I told her.
“I’ve missed you too more than I thought I would because I had friends. A life I thought would fill the void.”
She pulled me to her and hugged me. “Abby this was harder on me than I ever imagined not seeing you, Tyson or your mother.”
“Gram it was hard on us too.”
“I didn’t see one of Tyson’s football games. I always went to a few of them until the weather turned cold.”
We released each other. She caressed my cheek making me smile. “I’m thinking of selling my house and moving to White Oak Creek. I’ll miss my friends, but I miss my family more. As your mother informed me today, I’m Miss Social Butterfly I’ll make new friends. I can’t make a new family.”
She had made my day. I wanted her here with us. I grabbed my grandmother around the neck and squealed softly so I didn’t bring the entire house to my room.
“You like that idea?” My grandmother asked.
“I do Gram.”
“Winter isn’t a good time to sell so I’ll spend this time getting the house ready. In the Spring I’ll most likely put it on the market which is good right now. The house should sell quickly. Then hopefully by Summer I will be living here with you guys.”
Summer seemed so far away. I was disappointed. I thought Gram would be here sooner. She touched my chin when I dropped my head. “Time goes fast Abby. I’ll be here before you know it.”
I nodded.
She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I’m going to bed.”
“Night Gram.”
When she closed my door, I picked up my phone and called Cal. He didn’t answer. He must have fallen asleep while he waited for me to talk to Gram. I was so disappointed.
I went to the desk in my room and got my laptop. I decided to write for a while until I was sleepy. When I crawled into bed, at one in the morning I took a selfie of me and sent it to Cal so he would have it in the morning.
I missed you.
Chapter 15
I dragged myself out of bed, showered and checked my phone for the hundredth time. Still no word from Cal. Then I went downstairs to help Mom with Thanksgiving dinner which wasn’t quite dinner because we were eating at three.
She had no problem putting me to work. I diced celery for her homemade dressing while Gram did the onions. Mom was tearing apart the bread. The turkey had been cooking for hours.
“Where’s Dad?”
She smiled at me. “Where else? In his office working.”
I rolled my eyes. “He should be able to put that shit away for one day.”
Gram chuckled at me. Mom rolled her eyes and loaded the bread into the big roasting pan that she used to make the stuffing.
She went to the sink to get water to soak the bread. That is when hell broke loose in the Gardener house. Something must have snapped in the water line or the faucet because water was shooting out of the sink’s faucet like Old Faithful. Mom was screaming at the top of her lungs, “Help me. Help me. Don’t just sit there.”
Gram and I were in shock. Then I came to my senses and joined her at the sink getting as wet as she was already. I didn’t know what to do any more than Mom did. Gram was the voice of reason. She joined our party at the sink getting soaked as well. “Abby,” she shouted, “get under the sink and turn off the water.”
I ducked down and opened the cabinet doors where the main valve to the kitchen was and turned the faucet to off. I stood and looked at my mother who had mascara dripping down her face. Her hair soaked. Her clothes clinging to her slender frame.
Drops of water were rolling in a stream down the glass windowpane behind the sink. I looked behind me at Gram. She didn’t look much better than Mom. I didn’t put on make-up so the only difference between us was that I didn�
�t have black streaks running down my face.
Gram burst out in laughter.
“Mom, this isn’t funny.”
“Oh, it is, sweetheart.”
“What the hell is going on?” My Dad asked. His face was hilarious. He kept looking around as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“Something broke in the kitchen sink. Water was spouting out of it,” I explained with so much excitement that it irritated him. I decided to be quiet.
“I’ll call a plumber,” he said.
“Tyson, it’s Thanksgiving,” Mom said her voice showed her concern. We would be taking someone from their family today.
He hesitated at the door. “Kat, do you want to not have water today?” His tone was harsh. I thought something more was going on here than the broken water faucet.
She shook her head no.
He left without saying another word.
I turned to my mother. I was under no illusion that my parents were perfect. I knew they fought. What parents didn’t? They just tried to keep it under wraps when they argued with each other. I thought I would prefer that on occasion they would just shout at each other and shatter the illusion that they were faultless which I knew that they weren’t.
I looked at Mom who was watching the doorway where Dad had disappeared. A sadness had taken over her face. Mom was always positive energy and never gloomy. I reached out and touched her arm. She turned to me slowly. “What Abby?”
“Are you okay?”
She nodded but I knew that she wasn’t.
See, this is the reason we weren’t like Gram and me. If something was bothering Gram, she told me. As much as I shared with her, she shared with me.
I glanced over my shoulder at her trying to tell her without communication that we weren’t close because of this lack of sharing our feelings. The street ran both ways.
“Abby go ahead and go to the Coopers. I don’t know if we’ll even have Thanksgiving dinner.”
“But Mom…”
“Just go,” she snapped at me. “You’d rather be with Cal anyway.”
That hurt. I never said that. I had asked if I could go over there sometime today. In the evening after dinner. Never did I put his family first.
“Fine,” I said. “I’m going upstairs to dry off.”
Gram gave me a sympathetic look, but it didn’t matter. Not anymore. I ran upstairs to my room slamming the door shut behind me.
I changed my clothes. Then I texted Cal again.
I can come over if you still want me.
I went to my dresser and grabbed the hair dryer to blow dry my wet hair. The girl in the mirror stared back at me. Today I decided I wanted to wear my contact lenses. I wanted to be somebody other than the nerdy girl even though Cal didn’t look at me that way when I wore my glasses.
My sweater was warm in the house. Mom liked to keep the house warm and wear less clothes. Dad liked to complain about the electric bill. I began to see some of the cracks in their marriage and I wondered if they were truly happy or just existed for Tyson and me.
I laid the hair dryer on the dresser and ran a brush through my hair. I applied a light mauve gloss across my lips and stuck it in my pocket then I decided some eyeliner would make my eyes stand out with the contact lenses showing my eyes off today.
When I was done, I stepped back gazing at myself in the mirror. I still didn’t see the girl that Cal saw. The insecurities of my childhood eating away at the image that was presented in the mirror. The one that was there was not the one that my brain saw. I slipped into my ankle boots and grabbed my hoodie that was soft and lined with a warm, heavy liner that with the sweater would keep me warm outside.
Cal still hadn’t answered. I felt like I was suffocating so I decided to leave anyway. Maybe he would respond. I ran down the steps and at the front door, I shouted, “Leaving with Cal now.”
“Okay,” Mom replied from the kitchen. “Be home by midnight.”
I opened the door started to leave and then I called to her. “I love you.”
She appeared at the entrance to the kitchen. I could see her from my vantage point at the front door. She smiled at me. “I love you too,” Mom told me.
I smiled back at her then ran out the front door and down the drive. My phone tucked into my back pocket. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t understand why Cal hadn’t responded yet.
At the end of the drive I turned left and headed to the park about a mile from my house. The sky was gray like snow was coming which wasn’t an unusual thing for Ohio in November, but it wasn’t usual either. Ohio weather was unpredictable. We could have snow in October or April.
I walked to the park which was empty because it was Thanksgiving Day. On a warm Summer day, the geese and ducks frolicked in the park’s pond while the children played on the various playground sets.
We had a park like this in my town that we had left. Gram and Grandpa used to take me and Ty to play every Sunday when we were small children. I went to the swings and took a middle one and let loose gripping the chains tightly still afraid of going too high. The crisp air cooled my cheeks and took my breath away.
I heard his voice and let my feet skid across the dirt stopping my forward progress. “What are you doing here?” I asked Aiden.
He snorted at me. “What are you doing here?” He asked.
“Tension in the house,” I replied honestly. “I wanted to escape for a while. I couldn’t get a hold of Cal.”
“He’s home. I’m not welcome there anymore.”
He sat in the swing beside me.
“Thanks to me.”
He looked at me. There was so much sadness beneath the surface that Aiden didn’t usually let you see. “No,” he said. “Because of me.”
I was surprised that he admitted it. “So, what are you doing here.”
“Tension at home. Avoiding my Dad.”
“Why can’t your Mom see what he’s doing to you?” I asked.
His head shot around and he stared at me for the longest time. I thought he wouldn’t answer at first. Then he said, “Because I don’t want her to. She’s not well.”
“When did she get sick?” I asked.
Aiden looked away from me. “When I was eight.”
That long ago. He had been taking care of her for seven or eight years. He began to talk about his mother’s MS. How at first, she was okay. She could still do the things she always had. Then it got worse. She couldn’t cook or clean. She couldn’t come to his football games. He missed that the most.
He started to swing. Kicking his legs, he went higher and higher while I watched him.
“Be careful,” I warned him.
“Why? Only she would miss me,” he said. “One day she won’t be here then who do I have?”
“Cal,” I insisted.
He dragged his feet along the dirt until his swing stopped. He looked at me like I was crazy. “No, I don’t have him. Not anymore.”
“You do. He’s just angry at you.”
“For hurting you,” he declared.
I glanced at Aiden. “Why did you hurt me?”
“I don’t know,” he replied his voice cracking which surprised me. “I was angry at Cal because I felt like he was deserting me and Luke. The closer he got to you the less time he spent with us. He never missed a Friday night at Mac’s before you.”
“Until me,” I agreed.
Aiden looked at me. “I’m sorry Abby. I really am.” For the first time since meeting Aiden I thought he really meant it. “I just want my friend back however I can get him. I need Cal.”
My phone dinged and I dug it out of my pocket.
I’ll be at your house in ten minutes.
Come to the park.
WTH
I had to escape so I’m at the park with Aiden.
WTF
We’re having a nice talk. Pick me up here. He should come with us.
Are you kidding me?
No, I’m not. He apologized to me. He
needs you Cal. I need for you to make up with him. You’ve been friends for too long to not accept his apology. Please for me?
My fingers flew across the keys on my phone then I waited for Cal’s response.
I’ll be right there.
It wasn’t the response that I wanted.
I love you.
I didn’t know where he had been all night and all day, but I didn’t care. I would see him soon. Snowflakes began to fall slowly, melting on my face and tongue when I stuck it out to catch them. Aiden laughed at me. I realized then that he had a nice laugh.
“You should laugh more often,” I told him.
“Do you forgive me, Abby? If you will maybe Cal will? Coach Mac has been talking to me about my actions. My dad’s too. We’ve had some good heart to hearts. He’s helped me a lot.”
“I’m glad.”
He turned his head away from me and wiped his face. “I don’t want to be him, Abby.”
I reached over and touched his hand on the swing. “I don’t think you are, Aiden.”
His face turned back to mine. His eyes bright and watery with unshed tears. “I disagree. I wanted to hurt you the way my dad wants to hurt me. The bastard takes pleasure in beating the shit out of me.”
I dropped my hand to my side.
“Hard to hear shit like that, isn’t it?” He asked.
I nodded. I didn’t understand that kind of parenting. Although I didn’t see my dad a lot, I knew that he loved me. He and Mom didn’t believe in corporal punishment. They grounded us now that we were teenagers. As smaller children we did the time-out thing when Dad punished us. Mom was a softy even then, I realized now that I was older. She was the one with us all day when we were little and after we started school.
I heard my name and I looked across the park to the lot where Cal was. He was jogging to me now. He stopped by the swings barely winded but fierce when he eyed Aiden.
Glancing between the two of them for a moment, I finally said, “Just stop. Think about what you two have.” I reached for Cal’s hand and laced my fingers through his. Cal’s eyes met mine. “Aiden apologized. He’s sorry. Cal, he needs you. Please accept it and let’s move on.”