A Dish Best Served Cold

by T J Reeder

  I really didn’t know what Charley was up to until I saw something fly thru the air and roll under a truck and out the other side and blow up.

  God I’m glad the girls stole a ton of them, I only wish I had brought a few hundred of them.

  That caused panic to set in and they were running, most throwing down their weapons to run faster. I turned my attention to the leader trapped between the HV’s. I watched one of them trying to sneak into the gun turret and shot him as soon as his head was in sight. On that note they took off running for it.

  Most weren’t making it very far, it wasn’t a fight it was more of a gopher hunt. I still hadn’t seen their leader running for it and that bothered me. With nothing to back it up I called out to cease fire, it took a minute or two but then it went quiet. Charley rejoined me and asked why I called a cease fire? I didn’t know but this had been too easy and it had cost us a lot of our limited supply of ammo.

  I yelled out to the few hiding behind the HV’s to come out with their hands in the air, it took a minute or so but they started straggling out. Some of the scouts moved in a searched them then marched them away from the HV’s.

  Charley and I headed for them all the while my mind was elsewhere, something was wrong with this picture and it was driving me crazy.

  The leader was still unhurt as were the three men who had come out with him. He was tall and well built but he looked more like a street thug then a leader. I walked right up to him and asked him his name and got nothing.

  I jerked his shirt open and saw gang tats, this was not the real leader of the gangs, Capt. Harry had commented on his lack of tats since it was very unusual.

  I told him he had one chance to live and that was to answer my questions otherwise I was giving him to the Indians. That got his attention.

  I said first question…What is the main bosses name? He said El Gato Negro, I asked for his real name but the man didn’t know. Second question… What was the main plan? He said he didn’t know except the bossman had said something about fighting fire with fire. Third question… How long was he supposed to hold us here? He said his orders were to pin us in the town but to withdraw at least a mile by noon. Forth question…How did he contact the man? He pointed out his HV with a short antenna on the back. He added that all he was to do was click the mik 5 times when we were pinned down. Last question…when did he click the mik? He said when they rolled in and thought we were pinned in the block hall building. I looked at my watch and it was 10:00 am.

  I started to tell Charley to get his men changing the tire on each HV but they were almost done, good men! They were also working on the trucks, In less then 30 minutes we were rolling out in every vehicle that was running, we torched the rest to make it look like the fight was still going on. And we ran for it, on the road and a few miles away. Then we scattered off the road, the men doing all they could to camo the rigs, brush and sand helped a lot.

  We waited and right at 11:00 here came a large plane, it wasn’t a C-130 but it was pretty good size and it had a drop ramp on the back, I remember seeing one used by skydivers, so they could jump massed together. Out the back slid a strange bundle with a chute, I put the glasses on it and saw what looked like a pallet filled with GI jerry cans! Well Ol Cat Man is innovated for sure!

  But his jump master don’t know shit about dropping loads by chutes, he missed the town by half a mile and the load was just hitting the ground when it blew up. Pretty good blast but no Kewpie Doll.

  I had kept the fake leader with us and asked if the boss was in the airplane? He said no way, that the man wasn’t one to put himself in danger if he could avoid it at all. I also pointed out that the plane had arrived early meaning he wasn’t planning on his troops to survive the blast. He got that real fast and started cussing in Spanish, Good he was pissed and will now talk freely.

  I asked where the Real Cat was located and he asked for a map, after looking at it he pointed to Gallup NM, I couldn’t believe it! The asshole was only 15 miles away!

  Charley asked if the Cat would be pissed that the people in the plane missed the town and we got to listen to the imposter telling us in very colorful language just how crazy he would get and that the plane would be coming back as soon as possible.

  Charley told him to get on his radio and make a real big deal about the bomb missing the whole place and that he was pissed about it coming early coz

  his people would have been caught in the blast. He needed no prodding to sound angry and did his share of yelling at the man on the other end. Soon another voice came on and screamed at him to stop crying and tell him how far off the bomb had been

  Still sounding pissed he laid it on plus added that his people were keeping us pinned inside the meeting hall and we seemed to be low on ammo. The voice said to keep us pinned down and the plane would be back within the hour and shut down with nothing else.

  We knew the gang leader only had maybe twenty five shooters with him and without a thought we were going to take it to him. Charles men had changed the tires resulting in all the six-by’s but the roll over and all the HV’s three of which had guns mounted on them.

  With Charles people we had about twenty shooters. The elderly men of the town offered to come along but Charley asked them to drive two of the trucks with all their people and all their food supplies and necessities to Shiprock where they were to wait until we returned.

  With that handled we mounted up in the vehicles and were rolling. We needed to be there before the plane took off simply because they would see us coming and radio back to the boss man, and that wasn’t in my game plan.

  The former Cat said they boss traveled in a big black Suburban like some big shot government man, this wasn’t real good news because we had nothing that would go that fast so we needed to have a blocking force on the road south. We had four to an HV so that was twelve shooters, the rest were in one of the trucks. Simple, the truck was the blocking force. It would keep going south and set up a blockade in a low spot with no place to go. The rest of us were going to roll right in with all guns blazing. I was planning to kill the plane but Charley said Ralph might like it. Good idea.

  We made the fifteen miles in damn short order and as we came in the reformed gun thug told us if we sent somebody west on the interstate to the next off ramp and they came back on old route 66 while we kept going thru town till we hit 66 and turned west we would have them pinned at the airport, the only way the Catman could run was East into town or West on the one road. So that’s what we did, we sent one HV and the truck West on I-40 while we cut thru town and turned onto the old 66.

  We slowed until we figured the other team was heading at us and we rolled. We hot the airport and saw the activity near a hanger, the plane was being loaded again, we got within a quarter mile before being spotted and even then nobody moved for several minutes, Then a gunner on an HV opened up but missed us by a lot, our gunner didn’t miss, practice makes perfect!

  And there went the Black Burb! Hauling ass followed by an HV trying to keep up, we heard the Catman yelling over the radio and the reformed guy said he was ordering the HV to stay and fight us but they chose to turn off the road and head cross country. A burst from the second HV shredded their tires and ended the chase. We kept rolling but were losing ground fast we watched the Burb rollover a hill out of sight and then come flying back over the hill right at us.

  Our gunner opened fire and blew the front all to hell and with smoke and steam shooting out everywhere it left the road and rolled. I figured he got the driver. We rolled to a stop and just waited and soon enough the door was pushed open and a small black man wearing camo came out with his hands up, followed by a good looking young lady, and last but not least the boogie man himself.

  He was crawling out when I started walking at him and had turned just before I got there and was saying “I want a lawyer” And I hit him with everything I had, with the heel of my right hand with fingers closed, right on his nose which splattered like a ripe tomato. Then I
kicked him in the balls as hard as I could and when he hit the ground I treated his jaw like a football. I didn’t make the extra point but his jaw shattered, for good measure I stomped his kneecaps as hard as I could. All because he was 30 years younger and 50 pounds heavier then me, never fight fair. Charley rolled him over so he wouldn’t choke on his own blood, I woulda let the bastard drown in it.

  Just to make sure I asked our reformed Christian if this was the real cat or another fake, he said this was the one. I sat down in the shade of the HV breathing hard and dizzy, one of the scouts brought me some water and I poured some over my head then drank the rest.

  On the ground the ghost called The Cat was gagging and bleeding and still mumbling for a lawyer. I would hake kicked a rib thru his lungs but I would had to get up to do it so I just thought about it.

  Finally Charley told his men to pick the bastard up and cuff him. The one who was cuffing leaned down and listened for a moment and said “ you want me to call you a lawyer?” The Cats head went up and down and they young Navajo said well ok man, You’re a Lawyer, there feel better? I started laughing so hard I tossed up the water, then Charley started and soon we were all laughing, well all but the Cat, hard to laugh with a shattered jaw.

  Right then I heard something coming but was too tired to move, then it came into sight and was landing in a cloud of dust. The engine was shut down and the blades slowed and out of the dust cloud walked three women. Armed to the teeth and looking beautiful. I was so fucked.

  They stopped in front of me and just stood there and finally Sandy said, are you ok? I nodded and said for the moment causing Charles lads to start laughing, May looked at them and said you clowns aren’t out of the woods on this by any means, now they weren’t even smiling but were looking around for someplace they needed to be. As one they started to move but Beth said freeze right there. And they froze.

  I saw Ralph walking at me and I called him an ungrateful bastard to which he smiled real big and said well yes I am but my ass ain’t gonna get kicked! I pick my battles.

  Sandy said “Shut it Ralph” He still smiling said “yes Sir” and headed for his bird, chicken shit!

  Sandy looked at Charley and said something to which he nodded and answered her then nodded at the shithead on the ground.

  Sandy walked over to him and asked if he was ok! He mumbled and it sounded like lawyer, Sandy said soon sweetie you’ll be taken care of. She walked back to me and said John , really, are you ok? You look bad, I said I had a headache ever since Charley tossed the grenade under the truck, She looked at him and said who had the grenades? The rat pointed at me causing her to say “You blew up a truck with our grenades? And didn’t invite us? You’re a special kind of dumb ain’t ya?

  Then she started laughing along with the other two and were on their knees hugging me. They helped me up and let me lean against the HV where I got my first good luck at the chopper, it had been painted with flat colors and sticking out from both doors were M-60 machine guns. Then they told their story. They had been watching all the time, from up high and off a ways, as soon as I drove out they got going on mounting the guns on the bird, and since they could hear the very limited radio chatter between Charley and his people plus the bad guys they knew more then we did! When it was confirmed where we were going they flew out and landed where they could watch from a ways off, they watched the entire thing.

  They missed the beat down I gave Mr. El Gato but they saw everything else, and were ready to back us up when and if the time came. Bite off more then you could chew.

  I had to ask how they knew and just got that look, so I asked why they didn’t try to stop me or at least come along?

  Beth stepped up and hugged me close and said because John, we knew you needed to do this, this shithead laying here had become a big booby man in your mind and after the ambush you needed to end him once and for all, so we decided to let you go and do it, But we had no intention of allowing you to get hurt or get in over your head, we have faith in you and Charley, together you are almost unstoppable.

  As usual when wrapped in her arms I felt calm and relaxed so I hugged her back and said should you be here with the baby? She just laughed and said John women have been fighting wars and giving birth since the beginning of mans time on earth. Nothings changed.

  The shitbird on the ground was mumbling about his lawyer and his rights so Sandy walked over and flipped him over and said “ Your rights? You want your rights? OK!

  You have the right to remain silent, and she shot him right between the eyes. I never even saw her hand move but between the shoulder holster and her back to me I guess I wouldn’t. She can be abrupt.

  She turned and looked at me and said

  This piece of dog shit almost killed my husband and our wife Beth, he got his trial. She then asked Charley to have the trash taken to the desert for the buzzards to eat and then thru him into buzzard shit, fitting end. It was done.

  We took a look around and watched Ralph looking over the plane they had been using and talking to the pilot who it turned out was also the owner, He realized what they were planning to do and intentionally flew so the wind would blow the fuel bomb off course. He asked if he could move to the canyon and bring his family who lived in Gallup. We of course said welcome, god knows we need more pilots. He left to get his family.

  While he was gone Ralph went into the hanger and yelled for help and soon they were hauling parachutes and sky diving gear out and loading it into the plane. I asked why and Ralph said one of the girls had mentioned how cool it would have been to parachute into the battle and save my ass. I was still saying NO, Not only no but HELL NO!!! when they loaded the last of it and shut the back ramp. Nobody listens to me.

  I was informed I was flying home as was Charley and even he didn’t argue.

  I think we were asleep before the chopper lifted off, I had my head in Beth’s lap and a girl on each side holding my hands. I woke up when we dropped into the clearing at Shiprock and waved to Charley who headed off to the café and the Old Woman. We took off again and I went back to sleep and woke up again as we settled onto the landing pad at home. My wives carried my gear and took me home then to the solar shower and washed me like I was a baby, I felt like one.

  I woke up sometime later with the Doc standing over me checking my eyes, I was gonna shoot him but they had taken my guns away. Doc laughed and said good luck John they are ahead of you. I laughed and said No shit.

  The were all standing around our bed and Doc said I was just tired from adrenalin let down plus not eating much at all and a bit dehydrated. With that he left and I went back to sleep. I woke up in a pile of girls, and I couldn’t move a thing so I just laid there and enjoyed the feelings of love and home and happiness. Beth was close against my side and curled up in my arms, May was wrapped around Beth and Sandy was wrapped around my back, I was trapped and it was wonderful. I went back to sleep.

  John?…

  JOHN!….

  What?

  We’re hungry…

  So go kill some small cute little creature and suck the marrow out of it’s tiny little bones…Ouch!…

  John?….

  What?

  We’re hungry ….

  Ok lets get up and I’ll find something for us to eat…

  John, your being sarcastic!

  No.. I’m hungry too.

  Well…ok

  And they unwrapped, I wasn’t sure who was talking but it didn’t matter, I either fed them or I might lose a limb.

  So I said ok, how about hot cakes and bacon and eggs? Now that got them moving, I knew they would take over because I was a slow cook and when they are ready to “feed” they don’t screw around.

  We built up the fire outside and got to cooking, pretty soon we had bums hanging out waiting. Life in the canyons. The kids were first as always, we kept cooking and they kept eating, well them and the girls and any adult who came by wanting breakfast. Sometimes it takes a couple of hourse to finish the meal, others c
ame by, one with a huge cowboy pot of coffee, another with real home made butter ( the only kind now days) another brought a big cast iron skillet and a couple dozen eggs. I was soon pushed aside by one of the women and a teen age girl who took over cooking, I sat on my stump and relaxed and watched my wives eating everything that got close. I was worried about feeding them if we ever ran out of food. I smiled thinking about my usual comment about killing some small critter and all three looked at me and shook their forks at me.

  Beth was really starting to eat more what with the baby helping out. That made me smile and all of them smiled. Whatever it was I liked it, most of the time..

  After breakfast was done and everybody had wondered off we sat in the sun and made small talk, like what now since things were settling down and hopefully would remain so? I said I wanted to see the house which excited all of them so we walked up onto the ridge and I couldn’t believe how much had been done since I was there last.

  The walls were all up including the inside walls which were smaller stone, meaning only about 20 inches thick, I knew somebody was thinking bullet proof, I liked it!. The window spaces were perfect, we could see everywhere!

  Harv showed up and we talked about what was next, he said he wanted big roof beams, like BIG, whole trees that would be shaped, the place was going to have a open beam ceiling, I said I’d contact Charley to hire some of his young men to do the logging if they wanted the job. Also the high country with the big trees was their land so it was up to them.I guess we could truck them in from Texas, god knows there are Oak trees down there in East TX that are three plus feet in Diameter. That might be the way to go and we could visit the family. I asked the girls and they were all for it so there it was, back to Texas.