by Gina LaManna
The soft clomping of footsteps signified Nora’s arrival back in the kitchen. I closed the fridge door before Nora could also comment on my penchant for stealing their booze supply, even though I was twenty-nine-years old.
“Put it on.” Nora said, ignoring the glare-off between Carlos and me. She held up a wrapped gift as she spoke.
“Put what on?” I gestured to the box. “It’s wrapped.”
“Open it, open it!” She clasped her hands over her apron. “Now! Hurry, hurry!”
“All right, all right.” I ripped open the package, a little excitement fluttering in my stomach. I really loved presents, despite my track record of less-than-stellar surprises.
Nora reached over, helping me pull the paper from the box. When it was finally unwrapped, I peeked in the box. Upon seeing the small piece of “clothing” inside, I quickly decided against holding it up for everyone to see.
“Oh, no,” I said, holding the gift before me. “Nora, wow. Well—”
“Don’t you mean thank you?” Carlos grumbled. “I tell you, the respect in this household...”
Warily, I reached for the present and held it out in front of me. A flimsy piece of material dangled from my fingertips, and as soon as Carlos realized what it was, he piped right down.
“Thanks, Nora,” I said. “You really shouldn’t have.”
“Oh, just doing my part for the cause,” Nora clasped her hands in front of her body.
“How do I use this?” I gestured towards the flimsy gift that I guessed might be clothes. Or floss. It was hard to tell. “And what cause do you mean?”
“The Get-Lacey-Hitched cause. The gift is something you can keep close while you’re on vacation, just in case you meet the love of your life up in Tonka.” Nora’s smile started to fade slightly. “Don’t you like it?”
The gift in question happened to be the most revealing lingerie outfit I’d ever seen. A showstopper, for sure. But somewhere in the past five minutes Nora must have forgotten I was going to the cabin alone – at least in terms of romance.
“That’s very sweet of you.” I looked up at her. “But you know I’m just going to Tonka with Meg, right? Girls’ weekend only.”
“Ah, yes.” Nora looked away. She suspiciously looked away. I narrowed my eyes, and she blushed furiously.
“Just bring it with you. Just in case you change your mind,” she chirped, turning back to me with a cheery smile.
“You’re not planning something, are you?” I gave her a raised eyebrow. “Not trying to make me fall in love?”
“Of course not.” She waved a hand in dismissal. “Carlos, do I ever meddle?”
Carlos looked down. He shifted uncomfortably. “Lacey, here. Take the keys.” I snatched the proffered keys and bolted down the hallway before Nora started to spew steam from her ears.
I whisked through the Hallway of Infamy just as my grandmother’s voice floated behind me. “What have I told you about sticking up for your wife, Mister? I do not meddle, Carlos. I assist. I help people find their soul mates.”
I waved adieu to Harold, thankful I’d escaped in the nick of time. No matter how long I knew the pair, it still tickled me that the only person in the world who could make Carlos quiver in his boots was his feisty, sparkling, pint-sized wife.
Chapter 4
BEETHOVEN’S FIFTH SYMPHONY sounded loud and clear from my bag as I turned out of the estate’s parking lot.
“Is that a new ring tone?” Meg asked, digging around my purse for the vibrating phone. “Sounds depressing.”
“Yeah, but it must not be working because I set that song to go off only for Carlos’s number. He wouldn’t be calling me now, I just left. Can you see who it is?”
“Oh, it’s him.” Meg handed the phone over. “Maybe you forgot something?”
“Carlos?” I answered, pressing the phone to my ear. There was no way my Lumina came equipped with Bluetooth.
“Tell him I said hi.” Meg tapped me on the shoulder.
“Okay,” I mouthed to Meg. Speaking into the phone, I asked Carlos, “Did I forget something?”
Meg tapped me again. “Don’t forget. Tell him hello from me.”
“Okay, jeesh,” I said, swerving to stay on the road. Carlos gave me another earful about respect, while I glared at Meg. “No, sorry Carlos, I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. I was talking to Meg. She says hi, by the way.”
“That wasn’t a very heartfelt hello,” she hissed.
I tried my best to tune out my friend as I listened closely to Carlos’s instructions. After he finished, I gave Meg a shrug and an I don’t know gesture, then turned back to the phone. “Sure, Carlos. We’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
Twenty minutes flew by, and I still had no clue what Carlos wanted.
“What are we doing here?” Meg sat with her feet propped on the Lumina’s dashboard, her seat fully reclined.
“Beats me.” I’d been standing outside the car for the past few minutes, watching the street for suspicious activity. Carlos had requested I meet him at the intersection of Payne and Larpenter, a random street corner in the middle of St. Paul.
Except for a dog who eyed me up and down as if I could be lunch, and a lone teenager in a treehouse smoking something I doubted was a cigarette, there was no movement on the street.
“Well, I’m hungry. You got any snacks?” Meg leaned out the window.
I slowed to a leisurely walk after pacing up and down the block. I’d officially scouted the area ten times over and come up empty. Retreating back to the car, I noticed Meg had let the comforter slide from her shoulders and was now sunbathing in all her glory.
Having regressed in her clothing choices, she was once again all see-through plastic and itsy bitsy confetti triangles, looking quite comfy lounging with one foot out the window. I also noticed several of her toes were a little red, and I decided not to ask how the hair removal had gone.
“I didn’t bring a lot of snacks,” I said. “I thought we’d be driving to the cabin by now, and I’d planned to stop halfway and get some real food.”
“If you mean that we’re stopping at the Dairy Queen halfway between here and Tonka, then I’m okay with that.” Meg shifted so that her feet were back on the ground, then leaned her torso so far out the window I worried she’d fall right onto the curb.
“Whoa there, don’t pop.” I tried my best to guide Meg’s figure back through the window, but her curves were just a little bit too plentiful.
She’d rolled the glass only halfway down before leaning out, and in doing so, had gotten herself stuck between the top of the car door and the windowpane.
“Stop shoving me inside the car,” Meg grunted. “That hurts!”
“Why don’t you roll the window all the way down? I left the keys in the car so you could keep the AC on full blast, like you asked.”
“I’m in pain,” Meg wailed. “Hey Lacey, I think I’m stuck.”
I took a step back to survey the damage. A quick scan told me all I needed to know. “Yeah, you’re stuck.”
“Don’t just watch me. Help a sister out!” Meg’s eyes widened as she tried to move, her arms stuck outside the car, with her legs inside. She didn’t get very far.
“I’m coming,” I said, still surveying the best way to handle the situation. “Hold on. I have to squeeze. Past. You.”
My doors always locked automatically, whether the keys were in the ignition or not. I wasn’t sure if this was supposed to happen, but my Lumina had more than a few odd quirks. It was understandable, since the car had withstood multiple explosions and high-speed chases. These “special features” only became a hassle in times like these, when I was on the outside of the vehicle, and my keys were locked on the inside.
“Can you reach the window button?” I asked. “Try rolling it down a bit to give you some wiggle room.”
“No. My hands are out here.” Meg waved at me, her hands well outside the car. “But this window here is kinda cutting off my circulation. Do
you have a cigarette?”
“Why do you need a cigarette?”
“To calm me down so I breathe slower and conserve oxygen.”
“I think that would make it worse. Plus, smoking is bad. Sorry, I don’t have one.” I gave an exasperated wave of my hands. “Can you reach the window button with your toe?”
Ignoring my question, she replied, “I got one. A cigarette. It’s in my purse.” Meg nodded her head backwards, but her skull cracked against the roof of the car. “Youch. Now I really need a cig, for pain management.”
I rolled my eyes. “Your purse is in the car. I can’t get inside. That’s the whole problem.”
“Girl, break a window or something. I’m dyin’ here!” Meg looked at my puny arms. “On second thought, you’d break yourself before you busted the window, and then you wouldn’t be any help. Call your man Anthony, stat.”
“No,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “I’m not calling him twice in two hours for our silly mistakes. We’ll figure this out ourselves. We just have to be resourceful.”
“How do you figure this is a mistake?” Meg asked. “This ain’t no mistake. Consider this a natural disaster.”
“Meg, you got stuck halfway out my car window asking for a snack. I’d call that human error.”
“First of all, that’s harsh. Second of all, I’m still waiting for that cigarette. Fourth of all – wait a minute. Did I skip third? Third of all...”
I left Meg to her list as I quickly ran down to the end of the corner and peeked around in all directions, looking for any sign of Carlos’s men. Maybe I could find one of the guards and get him to help.
Unfortunately, nobody was around.
By the time I hoofed it back, Meg was well into the upper teens with her list. “Eighteenth of all – wait. Did I start counting by two’s? Chickadee,” Meg gasped. “My oxygen tank is running low. It’s starting to mess with my counting abilities.”
“Hang in there. You just need more practice with numbers, since you skipped most math classes your entire life,” I said. “Keep counting for now. I think I see Carlos.”
As Meg hit number twenty-four, a spiffy black Bentley rolled up and parked across the street. Sucking in some much needed air, I jogged across the intersection, noting the rest of the neighborhood was also springing to life. Which could only mean one thing.
Carlos’s bodyguards were here.
Having worked on a few assignments by now, I could pick out the green minivan pulling up to the curb, depositing a swarthy man who poorly pretended to check the vehicle’s tires, all while keeping an eye on the Bentley. I noticed a second man booting the smoking teenager out of the tree fort, while a third guard appeared from around the corner.
The last guard – a man made up of six feet of muscle and a murderous expression – strolled behind a poodle with a pink leash. The poor guy looked as if he’d rather be shoving nails into his butt cheeks than trailing the fluff ball, but I guess on short notice he’d had to borrow the closest dog available.
I glanced around and raised an eyebrow at Carlos. “Last minute surveillance?”
“Get in,” Carlos said. “We don’t have much time.”
I hopped in. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”
“Yes.” Carlos spoke in a low voice, his eyes darting about.
As the mob boss, he had every reason to be paranoid. Men across the planet had set a price on his head. But I’d never seen him out of his element before. Carlos’s element was confident, powerful, and strategic. However, at the moment he seemed unsure.
“Why did you want me to meet you here?” I glanced over at him.
“Where’s that girl – the one going with you to the cabin?” Carlos asked, looking out the window. “Isn’t she here with you?”
A small red light blinked on Carlos’s radio, distracting me from answering. Had it been anyone else’s car, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but Carlos’s vehicle had more features than a SWAT van.
Reaching out a hand, Carlos pressed the radio’s on button. He spoke in no particular direction, “What is it?”
“We scoured the perimeter, sir. All is clear, except for—” The professional voice trailed off, insinuating that all was not clear. I closed my eyes. I knew what the guard would say before the words echoed through the vehicle.
“Except for what?” Carlos’s question was sharp as an icy razor.
“There seems to be a minor disturbance on the block, sir,” the guard said.
“Well, take care of it,” Carlos snapped. “That’s why I pay you.”
“There’s more, sir. The disturbance is coming from a vehicle we believe belongs to your granddaughter.”
Carlos’s gaze slowly turned towards me. “I see. What seems to be the problem?”
“There’s a few issues, sir. First, the vehicle in question is coming up as stolen when we run the plates,” the voice said. I stared at the ceiling. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted Clay’s friend. The friend who’d conveniently lost the title to my car when I purchased it with cash.
“Interesting,” Carlos said. “Take care of the disturbance, use force on him as necessary. I’ll take care of my granddaughter.”
The guard spoke hesitantly, as if the last thing he wanted was to be relaying more bad news. “Sir, the disturbance is actually a she. And the target in question appears to be almost unclothed and stuck in the car window. She says her name is Meg and she needs a cigarette.”
I sighed.
Before Carlos could respond, the guard spoke again. “I have an update, sir. The target says she needs a cigarette badly, sir.”
Carlos’s head turned towards me so slowly, I had all the time in the world to think of an appropriate response. But it wasn’t my fault that there was no appropriate response.
“Take care of this,” Carlos said to me, gesturing to the dashboard.
A few of Meg’s screeches filtered through the speaker system. I leaned forward and spoke into the LED light. “Yeah, that would be my friend – she’s safe to touch. Well, for the most part. Would one of you boys mind busting her out of my car?”
“By your car, I assume you mean the stolen vehicle you claim is yours?” the guard said.
It took everything I had in me not to say a few choice words to him. “Yes, that’s the one.” I gritted my teeth as I continued to speak into the dashboard, leaning close enough to touch it. “If you could somehow manage to get her loose without breaking the window, I’d appreciate it.”
“You don’t need to put your mouth onto the dashboard,” Carlos said, a crispy tone to his voice. “You’re getting drool on my upholstery. And the microphone is on the roof.”
“Oh.” I looked upward.
“You can’t see it,” he said.
“Right.” For lack of something better to do, I crossed my arms over my chest. The air suddenly felt a few degrees cooler.
Carlos pressed another button. Meg’s pleas for a cigarette disappeared from the radio, and we fell into silence. I couldn’t help but wonder what had Carlos so on edge – it wasn’t like I’d dragged him to a street corner when he was supposed to be on vacation.
“So, you’re going out to Tonka this weekend,” Carlos said with a lighter tone.
“Yes, thank you again for the lodgings.” I used a cautious tone, wary of his sudden friendliness.
“It’s no problem. I was wondering, if you have free time on your trip,” Carlos paused and glanced at me, “would you do me a favor?”
More than a little hesitation weighed on my mind. I was really hoping the favor would be dropping off a cake at a neighbor’s place, but due to the clandestine nature of our quick chat, I didn’t think that’d be the case.
“I need you to check out a little bar. Gabe’s, it’s called. Real country bar, hick joint over there.” Carlos seemed to speak into the steering wheel.
“Great! Finally a task fitting for my experience. You want me to sample their drinks?” I grinned. “Meg will love this assig
nment.”
“Drinking on the job is frowned upon,” Carlos said.
“Er, right,” I said, thinking of Carlos’s limoncello consumption and Nora’s wine habit. I thought it best not to bring up the double standard.
“There’s a diamond ring running their goods through Tonka,” Carlos began, all business once more. “Due to the large highway intersection just outside of town, Tonka is a perfect place for the runners to pass off shipments between crews.”
My blood had already begun to chill. This didn’t sound relaxing. “Sorry, but what does that have to do with the bar? And why do you care?”
“It doesn’t matter why I care.” Carlos looked straight ahead. “The bar is a place to start. If anyone wants gossip in Tonka, they go to Gabe’s.”
“Gabe’s it is,” I said.
Carlos gave a nod of agreement. We sat in silence, as I digested this small favor Carlos had requested. Already, this vacation was not as relaxing as I’d hoped it’d be, and we hadn’t even gotten on the freeway yet.
Remembering Harold’s words – don’t accept an assignment from Carlos – I mustered up a little grit and faced my grandfather. “You know, I’m supposed to be on vacation, Carlos. If I’m going to be getting mixed up in something like diamond smuggling, I think I deserve to know why.”
Carlos opened his mouth, but the red LED light blinked again. He punched the radio on button once again.
A different guard began speaking immediately. “Sir, I’ve got an update on the situation in Lacey’s stolen vehicle.” I held my breath. Please, don’t break the window. I wasn’t in the mood to get car repairs today.
“Go on,” Carlos said.
“Sir, we’ve retrieved the suspect from the car. No mishaps except for a small wardrobe malfunction. Er, correction: a rather large wardrobe—”
“That’s enough,” Carlos barked at the speaker. He hit the off button and glanced my way. “The reason isn’t important right now, Lacey. Trust me, I’m only asking you to visit the bar and see if there’s any gossip. That’s it.”