Chloe sighed. "I told you, I'm not staying here forever. I do have to earn an income, you know."
"The store will earn money. Even Louise managed to earn money, and that woman had as much business sense as a fork that has been run over by a tractor." Eppie looked around the table. "Right?"
There was a murmuring of assent from the table, and the women launched into rapid discourse about how profitable the store was, and how much more it could become with the right management. Chloe sighed, leaning back against her chair as the women talked. She met Blue's gaze over Eppie's head, and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, to just be with him.
Time was running out, and as much as she had loved the day, the way the conversation had turned had stripped away some of the joy by injecting too much reality into the oasis that had been created. As soon as they were done with the pizza, she was going to take Blue upstairs. Even if they didn't make love, she just wanted to be in his arms, with the man who accepted her the way she was, and made her feel at peace even when she was at her most fragile.
Blue reached behind Eppie's chair and held up his hand. She set her hand in his, and he squeezed it. It wasn't much, just a clandestine touch of their fingers, but the feel of his hand against hers made everything inside her settle.
He grinned at her, and she saw the tension was gone from his jaw as well. Her throat tightened at the realization that her touch had stabilized him in the same way that he had helped her. She realized that as much as she had enjoyed the day with Eppie and her friends, part of the reason it had been such a good day had been because of Blue's constant presence, building, laughing, supporting her, and sneaking kisses.
At that moment, she heard the thud of footsteps on the outdoor stairs, and she knew the pizza had arrived. Anticipation rushed through her. Only a few more minutes until she and Blue would be alone. She quickly stood up to open the door, but before she could move, it swung open. In walked Astrid with six pizzas. Behind her was a man carrying beer, wine, and the baby who had been in Astrid's stroller at the store. He was accompanied by a boy of about seven years old, as well as Clare and a man that appeared to be her husband. Clare was carrying a platter of cupcakes and so incredibly happy that envy flickered through Chloe.
"Greetings!" Astrid announced. "We come bearing food, drinks, and dessert, in celebration of the Knitting Well opening again!"
Chloe's heart sank as everyone walked into her store, realizing that it wasn't going to be as quick as she had hoped to get Blue alone. Blue put his hand on her shoulder, pulling her up against his side as he introduced himself to everyone that was walking in. Standing there beside Blue, welcoming everybody, with introductions, exclamations of delight over the decor, and lots of friendly handshakes, Chloe suddenly felt as if this was her home, as if Blue and she were welcoming neighbors, family, and friends over to celebrate the launch of her store.
Tears burned in her throat, and suddenly she felt overwhelmed by all the people who had made the store come to life, without her even asking. No one had expected or requested anything in return. They had simply done it out of the goodness of their hearts, drawing her effortlessly into their inner circle.
She realized suddenly that she didn't want to leave. She didn't want to go to northern Maine tomorrow for an interview. She wanted to get up, shower, come downstairs, and open the front door, welcoming people into the store. She wanted to drink her coffee, surrounded by people who made her feel loved and warm, who helped her with her dreams, even if she didn't know exactly what her dreams were.
"Chloe!" Emma walked in the door, pulling up at the rear of the crew. Her face was bright and alive, and Chloe couldn't help but smile at the sight of her friend. She couldn't believe how happy Emma looked. Before Emma had met Harlan, she had gone through such a difficult time, and now she was positively radiant.
Maybe she'd been radiant yesterday, but Chloe had been too strung out to notice. Today, however she could see it, she could feel it in her own heart. She grinned, so happy to see her friend. "Hey, Emma —"
"I have news!" Emma rushed across the store, waving a piece of paper in Chloe's face. "Guess what!"
Chloe grinned, Emma's enthusiasm contagious. "What is it? Did you get a big showing for your paintings?"
"No. Better." Emma sat the paper in her hand, her face dancing with excitement. "For you."
Chloe frowned, scanning the paper. It was a faxed copy of a hand–scrawled note. It was somewhat illegible, and she could only make out a few of the words. Something about the Knitting Well, and she recognized the street that she was on. "What is this?"
Emma snatched it out of her hand and waved it at her. "It's a fax from Louise and her husband. They heard about how you opened the Knitting Well, and they're so excited at the idea of the store coming to life again, that they offered to sell you the entire building for whatever you can afford, even if it's only five dollars. They just want you to sign something that says you'll keep the Knitting Well open for as long as you live here, and that you'll put that as a requirement for the next person who buys it."
Chloe stared at her, shocked rippling through her system. "They would sell me this house for five dollars? But it has eight bedrooms. It's huge."
Emma grinned. "I know, but all that matters to Louise and her husband is that the goodwill and love that they shared in this house for fifty years continues. They know how important the Knitting Well is, and apparently, people have been calling Louise all day, telling her how they stopped in and what a great job you and Eppie are doing. Louise called Harlan in tears. She's so grateful, and she said she knows now that's why they turned away everyone else who made an offer on the house. They were waiting for you!"
Chloe's throat tightened, and suddenly, she couldn't breathe. She looked around the store, at Eppie, Judith, Astrid, Clare, their husbands, and all the other women who had worked so hard to turn the Knitting Well into something beautiful today. This could be her home? Her real home? A home that no one would take away from her. A home filled with warmth, and love, and a sense of community that she'd never had? "But, my job…"
Emma sighed, and tucked her arm through Chloe's. "Sweetie, you don't have a job right now. Sometimes the universe interferes to give you what you need, not what you think you want. How can you turn this down? I see how happy you are."
Chloe looked across the room at Blue, who was standing with the other two men, drinking Birch's Best, and laughing. Their deep voices were such a contrast to the murmur of women's conversation, wrapping around her with warmth. Would he stay? Would he ever consider giving up his career to make a home in Birch Crossing? She knew he wouldn't. He was committed to his mission, just as she should be. But, God, this moment felt better than any moment she'd ever had in her life. She looked at Emma. "Wouldn't it be selfish to take this house, and open the Knitting Well, when there are so many kids who need someone to watch out for them?"
Emma cocked her head. "There's no job for you, Chloe. They eliminated a large percentage of the social worker jobs in the state of Maine. There are so many talented, quality social workers looking for jobs. There aren't enough for everybody." She looked around the room, and gestured at the gaggle of women feasting on pizza, and gushing over Astrid's baby. "There's only one Knitting Well. And you're the only one who can run it. These old women, and the rest of the women in this town, including me, need something, too. You've been given the chance to provide it."
Chloe bit her lip, her fingers clenched around the piece of paper Emma had given her. Every part of her soul was crying out to say yes, to immerse herself in this community, to allow it to fill her in a way that nothing had filled her since the day she had become old enough to realize that she didn't have a family, but the rest of the world did.
Blue glanced over at her, and caught her eye. The moment he did, he frowned, studying her. Her heart tightened when she realized that Blue had noticed that something was going on with her. He excused himself from his conversation with the men,
and walked over, settling his arm around her shoulder and pulling her up against him as he said hello to Emma. "Hey, Emma," he said, "can you give us a sec? I need to talk to Chloe about something."
Emma's eyebrows went up, and a small smile curved at the corner of her mouth. "Of course, but make sure to ask Chloe about the piece of paper I just gave her. Tell her to say yes." Emma's gaze settled on Chloe for a long second, before she turned away and walked across the shop to help herself to pizza.
Blue set his hands on Chloe's shoulders and turned her to face him, his beautiful green eyes searching hers. "What's up? What happened?" His voice was low and intimate, just for her, even though they were in a room full of people.
Suddenly, tears filled her eyes, and she was overwhelmed with emotion she couldn't even name.
Chapter 20
Blue's face softened, and he took her hand and pulled her around the corner and out of the room. The moment they were out of sight of everybody else, he pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her hair. Chloe tucked herself against him, her eyes squeezed shut, and she tried to control her emotions.
"What's going on, sweetheart?" Blue ran his hands along her back, his fingers tangling in her hair, his touch soothing her as much as his voice was. "Talk to me."
Chloe took a deep breath and pulled back just enough so she could look at him. "The owners of this house heard about the shop opening. They called Harlan and said that they would sell me the house for any price, even five dollars, if I would keep the store open." Her eyes filled with tears again, and she couldn't keep them at bay as she continued. "They said they just wanted the house and store to be filled with love and community the way it always had been when they lived here." She laughed, a laugh full of tears and irony. "Can you believe that? Me. I don't even know what family is, and I've never been a part of the community, and yet I'm the one they think can bring that back to this house. How ridiculous is that?"
Blue's face softened, and he smiled, so much warmth in his face that there was no chance of stopping the tears. "Chloe," he said gently. "I've never met anyone as full of love and warmth as you are. The reason we spent the day helping you is because you drew all of us in. You created a place we all wanted to be in. You exude a warmth that settles in the heart of anyone who's in your presence. If there's anybody that can bring life back to an abandoned house, it's you. Of that I have no doubt. There's a reason why the prior owners reached out today. It wasn't simply that the store was coming to life again. It was that it was you who is doing it. You made it special."
Chloe bit her lip, her heart starting to pound as she listened to Blue. She didn't have anything to say. She wouldn't have known what to say even if she tried. But she was unable to take her gaze off his face, her heart suspended as she waited for him to finish.
"It fits you here," he said. "Can you feel it? Can you feel how alive you are, and how much life you bring out in everyone else around you?"
She nodded once, swallowing hard over the lump in her throat. "It's been an amazing day," she whispered, feeling guilty even saying it. "But I have this job interview in northern Maine. I can't do both. I can't help the kids and run the store."
Understanding settled on Blue's face, and he nodded. "I get it. Which do you want to do?"
Stay here. The words were on the tip of Chloe's tongue, but she couldn't make herself say them. How could she abandon all the kids who needed her? The kids who were living the same life she had growing up, when there was no one there to help her? But God, the yearning within her to become a part of this community was almost too much for her to handle. She wanted it so badly, so very, very badly. "Would you stay?"
Blue went still, his face suddenly going impassive. "Stay here? With you?"
"What?" Chloe gaped at him, startled by his interpretation of her question. "You mean, run the store with me? Live here?"
Blue frowned. "Yeah. Is that not what you're asking?"
"No, I was asking hypothetically. If you got everything you wanted, would you give up your career?"
"Oh." His face became neutral, and he shook his head. "No, but I wouldn't know how to evaluate that. There's nothing I want other than to rescue kids. I don't want a home. I had one and I fucked it up, I don't want a chance to fuck up another one."
Her heart ached for him, and she studied him. "What if you had a chance to redo that day? What if you had a chance to make everything okay again for your family?"
He narrowed his eyes. "I can't go back in time, Chloe. I used to dream of it every night, but it's impossible, and we both know it. So, there's nothing that I want." As he said the words, his gaze settled on her face, something in his expression so intense that she shivered. "Well," he said. "Except one thing."
Her heart stuttered. "What's that?" she whispered. "What's the one thing you want?"
He smiled slightly, and slid his hand through her hair. He didn't answer the question. He just angled her head and kissed her, a sensual, tender kiss that wove its way through her soul, her body, and her heart. When he pulled back, he didn't release her. He just searched her face, as if looking for answers he couldn't find himself.
"What if," she began, her voice almost trembling. "What if I had meant it that way? What if I had meant for you to stay here with me, and run the store? What would you have said?" The moment she asked the question, she regretted it. It went against everything that they agreed on about their relationship. Temporary. Fleeting. A moment of oasis before both of them went back to their lives of duty.
But she didn't recant the question. She left it out there for him to answer, or evade, whichever he preferred.
For a long moment, Blue didn't answer. He just ran his fingers through her hair, studying her face, his eyes almost haunted with emotion. Finally, he responded. "If I wasn't who I was, if I didn't have the past I had, if I didn't have the job I have, I would get down on my knees and I would thank God that you were willing to give me a chance like that. And I would do everything in my power to make your life so secure, so full of the love and the community that you've never had, that you would wake up with a smile in your heart every single day of your life."
Chloe's mouth dropped open, and her heart turned over a thousand times. She couldn't keep the tears in this time, and Blue sighed as he ran his thumbs over her cheeks to wipe away the tears. "That was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me," she whispered. "How could you say that?"
"Because you bring out something in me that no one else ever has." Blue kissed her again gently, before pulling back. "I meant it. You're extraordinary, Chloe. So extraordinary that you were able to reach inside me and make me feel again, after working so damn hard not to feel again, since that day." He took her hand in his, and pressed a kiss to each knuckle. "I don't like to feel, except when I'm with you. I want to feel what you bring out in me. You make me feel human, like a man, like someone who has something to offer the world."
"I love you, Blue." The words slipped out before she realized she was saying them, but when she saw Blue's face soften with wonder, she didn't regret it. She laughed, even, and then turned his hand over and pressed a kiss to his scarred knuckles, just as he liked to do to her. "You open my heart, Blue Carboni, something that I've never been able to do in my whole life until this minute. You give me hope, Blue, hope for a future that doesn't feel so empty as the rest of my life has been."
Blue swore under his breath and took her face in his hands. He bent his head and kissed her, a kiss so tender and gentle she knew that it was his way of telling her he felt the same way, even if he couldn't articulate it, and maybe even couldn't understand his own emotions. This hard, scarred, heroic man had softened the parts of her that had been hard her whole life, and she had done the same for him.
He broke the kiss, but didn't retreat. He simply leaned his forehead against hers and locked his arm around her waist. "Isn't this when we make some joke about how we ruined each other for any relationships for the rest of our lives? And then we laugh, an
d head upstairs for some lighthearted, emotionally intense sex?"
"Probably." But she stayed where she was, closing her eyes so she could fully immerse herself in the sensation of being in Blue's arms, of her head resting against his. "You're going to leave in the morning, aren't you?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want to? Does it make your heart feel good to think about going out and rescuing people?"
Blue was quiet for a long moment, then he sighed. "Nothing about walking away from you tomorrow feels good," he admitted.
"Same here."
For a long moment, they stood there. Neither one of them said anything else, but what was there to say? She loved him, and she knew that in his way, through the battered scars on his own heart, he'd also fallen in love with her. But just as how she could never forget what it felt like to be a ten-year-old girl realizing that she was officially unlovable and unadoptable, she knew Blue would never forget what it felt like the day his brother was kidnapped. The past was too strong for both of them, too strong for either of them to sever its grip.
"You think it would be uncool to bail on the party and just go upstairs?" Blue asked.
"Yes. Definitely."
"So, that's a 'yes, let's race to the bedroom?'"
Chloe laughed, and pulled back, unable to stay sad in the face of his warmth and humor. "Yes, definitely. Let's—"
"Chloe! Blue!" Emma walked out into the hallway. "There's someone here who wants to see you," she said, completely ignoring the fact that they were wrapped around each other. She just held out her hand, gesturing them toward the kitchen. "Come on. It will only take a sec."
Blue cursed under his breath, just barely loud enough for Chloe to hear it, making her smile. She grinned at him as he took her hand and turned toward Emma. "You have terrible timing," he said to her.
Emma just beamed at him unabashedly. "I do not. I have impeccable timing. I'm fabulous, and you guys will be delighted with your guests." She stepped back and gestured toward the kitchen. "After you."
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