I might as well be a true madman, especially since there may be a possibility that I’ve been following her on her walks every day. I stay in the brush, so she doesn’t see me. I’m light on my feet, careful to avoid branches, twigs, and logs. My sword is drawn the entire time, ready to take down any threat that may come to her.
Like I am right now.
She’s a smart lady. Lilith knows someone is watching her. Every few moments, she will stop and turn every which way, trying to figure out where the feeling is coming from. She’s listening to her gut. My chest swells with pride over that. I know she is able to care for herself, but I want to take care of her because I need to, not because I doubt her.
I lick my lips when she starts walking again, watching her hips sway to the rhythm of the wind. Her blonde hair is in a braid again, and I imagine wrapping it around my fist as I drive into her. My cock swells, tenting up my pants. A wet spot starts to form, and now I can’t leave these bloody woods until it is dry, and my hard-on is gone.
Her body is a bit fuller. She’s gaining weight quickly, but she still has a ways to go. She looks healthier, happier, and her skin is starting to glow again from the sun’s touch. That bastard. I’m so jealous of that damn fire in the sky. I want to be the one thing she comes to for comfort. But it seems it may be a while for that. I have my work cut out for me.
My cock starts to soften when she starts to slow down. Instead of lust, worry floods into me. It takes all I have not to jump out of the trees and sweep her away to the cabin, lay her down, rub her entire body, and hand feed her the best fruits and meats.
One day, I tell myself. One day.
Her breath fogs into the air as she gasps for breath, sparkling with a hint of frost. She won’t be able to enjoy the outdoors for much longer because the snow will be knee deep. Her dainty hand comes to her side as she pauses and gasps for air. She’s sweating.
Oh, what I’d give to be that sweat on her skin, dripping down her body.
“Snap out of it, Wulf.” I shake my head, trying to clear the fog she casts over me.
“Hello? Who is there?” she raises her voice and stares right into the woods.
Shite. I said that too loud.
I keep a hand over my mouth and hide my big body behind a tree. I roll my eyes. I am the fucking tree. I stay completely still and hold my breath, keeping my sword in front of my face, so it doesn’t reflect light. It would give away my location.
“I know you are out there. I feel you watching me. Come out and show your face, coward!” she yells. My lips tilt to the left, grinning when I hear her goading me. She’s always been headstrong. Her power of will could change the force of the lunar tides.
I stay back, knowing that if she sees me, I won’t be welcome. The wind picks up, and I close my eyes, inhaling deeply. Her warm scent carries over to me, and a tiny groan escapes my lips. Nothing is better. It’s like the sun has permanently made itself home in her blood.
I can just imagine us, locked away in the cabin, snow falling outside gingerly, and we wrapped up in each other’s arms. Her warmth would sink into my skin, thawing out my heart that has turned to ice over the years.
“Fine. Be that way,” she stomps away, leaving little clouds of dust from her feet.
Following her back up the trail to the cabin, I push branches out of the way with my arms and slice through thick bushes that are in my path. Once I see she is safe in the cabin again, I slump against a nearby tree trunk and blow out a breath. That woman is going to be the death of me.
After I take a quick break, I trudge through dead leaves, hearing them crunch under my boots as I make my way through the maze of the woods. Sighing, my breath comes out in a frozen mist, and my lips dry out a bit from the breeze, so I flick out my tongue to dampen them. I wonder if Lady’s Leiva’s paste would help my lips stop hurting from the cold.
“Wulf.”
I stop mid-step. The way Lord Grimkael says my name makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
“Lord Grimkael,” I stand at attention.
“You, Trident, me, and Einarr are riding to Thurston. I just received word the Jackals plan to attack.”
“What?” My heart falls to my feet. My brother and his wife live in Thurston. I haven’t seen him or little Rian in years, but I plan on it. “Thurston? Lord Grimkael—”
“I know. It’s another reason we are going. We ride when the sun sets. Get your horse ready. Pack what you need to.”
“Are we going into a battle?” I match his strides, our feet thundering against the ground as we make our way to the stables.
He stops me by grabbing my arm. When Trident and Warlord Einarr stop for us, Lord Grimkael nods his head into the direction of the stables, telling them to go on without us. Trident doesn’t move, though. He crosses his arms over his chest and waits.
He and I may not be on speaking terms, but I know he will always have my back when it really matters, just like I will have his.
“We are three days out of Thurston. The Jackals are two.”
“An entire day ahead of us?” I shout, nearly hysterical. “They shall destroy everything. My brother is there. My nephew. It’s the only family I have left. I must go. I must get there before the Jackals get to them. I can’t lose them.” I think about the day when my parents died. They died of fever, some type of sickness. It was my brother Grant who took care of me, raised me, and even though we trained as warriors together, he left. He could have been a warrior, but he chose a different life. He met a nice girl, moved to her town, and started a family.
It was a life I swore I never wanted. Now that Lilith is back, it’s all I can think about. “Please, Lord Grimkael. We must get there.”
He clasps his hand on my neck and pulls me forward, our foreheads hitting. “You have my word, Wulf. We shall do the best we can. It’s all I can offer. I remember your brother well. I won’t let anything happen to him if I can help it, but you must get your head on straight. I can’t have one of my best out there thinking with his emotions. Is that clear?”
“I understand.” I nod in a daze. Why are the Jackals interested in that town? It’s poor. Nothing is there. It’s all farmland. Goddess, if anything happened to Grant, I don’t know what I’ll do.
I stand there for a few moments, trying to get my thoughts together when a tight grip on my arm pulls me out of it.
“All shall be well,” Trident tells me.
I blink at him, bringing myself back to the harsh reality that life seems to enjoy hitting me with. It’s just him and me. He stayed when Lord Grimkael and Warlord Einarr left. He didn’t need to do that. “I don’t know about that, Trident.”
“I’ll get your horse ready. Go get food to bring, water, and extra furs. Can you manage?”
I slap his hand away with mine, and a deep rumble vibrates my chest. “Of course I can manage.”
“Then go,” he pushes me away by placing his hand on my chest.
“Trident,” I whisper, letting my bravado crack. Fear trickles through it, and it takes all I have not to break completely. My brother. My fucking blood.
“I know, Wulf. Go. Go so we can leave and get to them. Hurry!” He pushes me again, and this time, it gets me moving.
So I run. I sprint. I give it all I have. My arms pump and my legs hit the ground, hard and unforgiving. The cold air stings my lungs, and tears burn my eyes as I think about my brother. I must get there. I must save him. My feet land on every thorn, rock, and twig there is on the ground, but the pain isn’t enough to stop me.
Smoke billows from the chimney, and it tells me Lilith is enjoying the fire. I wish I could enjoy it with her, but time waits for no one. I leap forward and kick the door in. The door crashes open with a loud crash, and a high-pitched yelp comes from the inside.
“Beowulf, I thought—”
I lift my hand and stop her from speaking, probably something about me not coming inside or talking to her and bend down to grab a few furs.
“I don’t have
time right now, Lilith. I’m sorry. I’m not here to stay. I must go. I won’t be back for a few days. You’re welcome to stay here. Send for Abram, who will chop firewood for you the next few days.” I keep my tone level, as level as I can without taking my anger and worry out on her.
She throws an entire loaf of bread at me, anger evident in her golden eyes. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, then.”
Damn it! That fucking sass…
“What door?” I yank it off its hinges—take that−−and toss it in the trees. Don’t ask how I’m doing. Don’t ask where I’m going. Don’t fucking care about me.
It’s fine. This new Lilith, maybe, isn’t the Lilith for me. I’m clouded with desperation to get to my brother, but one thing is clear, Lilith doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore. If she wants me gone, then I shall be gone. Taking care of my blood. Not my past.
I still have time to save them. It’s the only thing I have going for me right now. I stomp out, ignoring Lilith’s protests as she yells for me. I have furs, dried meat, and water. I have enough to last me a week. I might stay gone longer if… if my brother is dead.
When Lilith first arrived, I thought my future looked brighter. Better. I had everything I wanted in life again. Now, I’ve never felt more alone. Everything is grim.
When I break through the treelines, everyone is there waiting on me. Lord Grimkael is on his horse Beast, a big black stallion. Warlord Einarr is on Jasmine, a large dark gray mare, Trident is on Hank, a pure white stallion, and my horse, a large gray stallion named Dire, is saddled and ready.
I jump on Dire’s back, noticing the snow is already starting to stick to the ground. It means this storm shall be bad, which will only make traveling worse. Perhaps delay us.
I don’t wait for the Lord’s order to go. I kick my steed in the ribs and bolt forward. Dire’s hooves tear up the ground, and he neighs when he gets let loose, nearly flying with speed.
My eyes water from the cold stinging them, and thunder rolls into the sky. Thundersnow. The worst storm possible, and it is the only thing standing between me and Grant. I know that if I don’t get there in time, I won’t be coming back to the kingdom. My reality is broken. My fantasies are just that. There isn’t anything waiting for me.
Not anymore.
Chapter Thirteen
Beowulf
Two days into the trip, and we are nowhere near where we need to be. I know in my heart of hearts we won’t get there in time, not unless a miracle happens, and this storm subsides. The horses are tired from working their way through the snow. It’s come up to their bellies, and with every step, every time they push their legs through that thick, cold powder, they struggle hard against it.
I don’t want to admit it. I don’t want to say it, but we must stop before we kill our horses. For the second time in my life, I feel loss. A deep, painful, agonizing loss. One that shall change my life forever.
I yank on the reins. Dire stops on top of a high hill, giving me a chance to scan our surroundings. We are in the middle of a field right now, which isn’t a great place to stop for the night, especially with all this snow. We need cover. About a mile up ahead, I can make out the outline of tall trees through the thick blizzard pouring down around us. My cloth over my mouth has a good few inches of ice on it, and my hands are numb from holding the reins for too long without a break—it’s time to stop. It’s time for me to make the realization if the Jackals are dead ahead of us, they are there already, slaughtering all the adults and taking the children.
I squeeze my eyes shut when a piercing pain stabs my heart—Rian. He’s just a wee boy, barely four years young. He is probably frightened out of his mind right now. If only my brother stayed with us. He’d be protected now, but Rian may not exist, and as much as I want to be mad at my brother for making a decision that made him happy, I can’t. I love my nephew too damn much for that.
He chose love in his life. I understand now why he chose that. I thought one day I might have the chance to choose that too. With Lilith.
But maybe that chance is already over.
“Wulf?” Lord Grimkael trots up on Beast, stopping next to me.
“I think we should lay low for the rest of the night in the woods, warm up, let the horses rest.”
“Stopping—”
“It’s too late, Lord Grimkael. You know that.” I kick my heel on Dire’s ribs again and click my tongue to tell him to start walking again. Dire drags his hooves, going in the direction of the forest, and the closer we get, the realization dawns on me that when we do finally make it to Thurston, there may not be a body for me to bury. I want to give him a warrior’s funeral because I know he fought tooth and nail to the fucking end.
When Dire breaks the treeline, a ton of snow falls onto the forest floor from his hooves digging up the white powder and bringing it forward as he walks. There is hardly any snow on the ground, just as I suspected. The trees are the perfect canopy, giving us the perfect coverage, and protection we need from the cold. I shake my head, letting my hair fan over my shoulders to get the ice and snow out of the strands. The rest of me, on the other hand, I’ll need to warm up next to a fire to completely thaw out.
“Are you sure about this?” Trident asks, low, not wanting the others to hear. Hank, his horse, seems to be dragging, too.
“No, this is the last thing I’m sure about, but I know it must be done.” I grab a hold of the saddle horn and lift my leg, dismounting off the tall beast. My legs tingle when the blood rushes through them. I crack my neck and stretch my back, trying to get the miles we just rode out of my stiff muscles. I give Trident my back and work the saddle off Dire. I toss an animal skin on him to keep him warm and tie him to a tree.
Feet thud against the ground behind me, and I know it’s Trident. Lord Grimkael and Warlord Einarr are across from me, doing to the same to their horses.
“I’m sorry, for what it’s worth, about your brother.”
I don’t say anything. What is there to say? I keep my head down and look for any dry pieces of wood or kindling, trying not to think about my brother and the awful way he may have died. I clear my throat from the emotion threatening to grip me like a vice.
I’m so angry. I want to kill all the Jackals. Every single last one of them. They are bastards. Why would a group of people be so cruel? For what? Power? What I don’t understand is what they think they are getting from it. And if they spilled my brother’s blood, they have no idea just what kind of monster they will have created in me.
“Me too.”
The words seem loud in the silence of the forest. A snowflake falls in front of me, and I watch as it twirls in the wind, swaying back and forth. It’s beautiful. It’s magical that something so unique can come from the cold. I pick up one more log, forgetting about the snow, and turn around to head back to where the camp is.
Trident has a few logs in his arms, but I can tell he is just picking up things, so it doesn’t seem like he is following me around.
“So…”
Again, I don’t say anything. I use my big body to push branches out of the way that are heavy with snow. The cold flakes grab onto my ice-ridden beard, making me wish the sun was back out. I fucking hate being cold.
“How is Lilith?”
The clearing comes to view quick, where Warlord Einarr and Lord Grimkael have started a fire. Dire, Beast, Jasmine, and Hank are lying down around it to stay warm. I drop the pile of wood next to the fire and sit down near my horse, leaning my back against his stomach. Dire neighs and nibbles my ear, then lays his chin on my shoulder. Reaching my hand over my shoulder, I lay it flat against his long snout and rub it. He blows out a hot breath and shakes his head before settling again.
“I don’t want to talk about Lilith,” I mutter, watching the fire get higher in the air as it builds strength. “I especially don’t want to talk about her with you.”
And I do not want to think about her. It hurts too fucking much. I want to concentrate on getting my broth
er or retrieving his body. I must figure out a way to get Rian back. Goddess, I hope my nephew is okay. A slight pound knocks against my skull, bringing a sigh out of my mouth as I lean my head back against Dire.
“Come on, Wulf. I’m sorry. I am. I just want to make sure you’re alright.”
“I’m fine,” I placate him, giving him want he wants to hear.
“Liar.”
“Arsehole,” I get the last word in and cross my arms over my chest, settling against Dire. I shut my eyes, hoping tomorrow can bring some type of miracle.
It’s still dark by the time we wake. I kick snow over the dying fire. It’s smoking now, but it is better to be safe than sorry. I hop on Dire and dig into a saddlebag to get a piece of jerky. I tear it off with my teeth. It’s smoky, chewy, and filling. I’m glad I killed that deer the other day to replace my stock in jerky for the winter. It’s a great way to eat and travel without starving.
“Ready, Wulf?”
I turn my head over my shoulder to see Lord Grimkael staring at me, his extravagant fur extending from his shoulder, laying over Beast’s backside.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I try not to let my fear be heard, but it’s impossible.
No one says anything to one another as we travel for another day and a half. The tension is thick in the air, emotions are high, and dread fills my bones. No one is giving me hope, words of encouragement, nothing. It would be a lie. My men are better than to give false promises. As painful as it is, I’m grateful for it.
The further south we go, the snow gets lighter, and eventually we are riding through mud and grass. Black smoke hangs over the tops of the trees ahead, and I yank the reins tight, bringing Dire to a halt.
“They were here already,” I whisper. “We are too late.”
I knew we were going to be too late, but there was a part of me, a foolish, naïve part of me, that believed I’d get here in time to save my family. I kick Dire’s sides and squeeze my thighs together as he rears up on his hind legs, screaming out his own war cry before dropping to his feet and taking off down the road that leads to Thurston—my brother’s village.
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