“What in the hell are you doing?” He stepped into the room as Rhea turned, revealing the small, blonde-haired, blue-eyed cherub giggling at his mother’s antics.
His mother grabbed a throw pillow off the couch and threw it at him. “Don’t say that word around the baby.” She turned her attention back to the tiny girl snuggled into Rhea’s lap. “He doesn’t even know how to act. No he doesn’t.”
Hagen struggled to rip his eyes from the sight of Rhea. The little fat fingers tangled in her hair. The toothless grin angled up at her adoringly. “Who does she belong to?”
Rhea’s head jerked to the side as the small fist tugged. “Lance.” She reached up and deftly began to untangle her hair from the girl’s grip. “This is his daughter, Vanessa.”
Hagen stared at the gentle way Rhea moved. The way she cradled the little girl against her chest, softly stroking her little arms and legs. “Where is Lance? Shouldn’t he be taking care of her?”
Rhea tipped her head to one side. “He wanted an unguided trip into the mountain.” Her eyes moved slowly over his face as she spoke, her words measured. “He left an hour ago and took Chauncey and Stewart with him. They wanted to go out before the storm hit. I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal.”
“Well it is.” He pointed his finger at the two women staring at him like he was the one being an asshole instead of the man who left them to attend his kid. “You two aren’t his nannies.”
His mother stood up from the floor. “What in the hell is wrong with you?” She shoved at him, poking and pinching whatever was within reach as she herded him out of the room. “His poor nanny was up with Vanessa all night. The sweet thing had a tummy ache.” She kept pushing him away from the room and away from Rhea, sitting on the floor with a baby, looking like a Madonna. “We offered to take care of her so the nanny could sleep and the rest of them would be out of the way for a few hours.” She stopped and put her hands on her hips. “Honestly I thought you’d be thrilled to be rid of them.”
“I’d be thrilled if you would stop involving yourself in my life.” Hagen scowled down the hall at the doorway to the sitting room where he could still hear Rhea cooing at the one thing he could never give her.
“What in the hell are you talking about?” His mother’s voice went up an octave. Her cheeks started to pink up as she stared up at him. “I don’t know what in the hell your problem is right now but you need to get it together.” She grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around to face the door. “Go find something else to do until you’re in a better mood.” Her hands were firm and strong on his back as she shoved him down the hall.
He stared into the room as his mother opened the door. Rhea stood in the center of the room, baby resting in her arms, staring at him. A wash of calm pushed at him, making his skin heat. It was a familiar feeling. One he’d noticed more and more over the past week.
It was Rhea.
His skin went cold, even with the heat of Rhea’s energy moving over him, trying to find a way in. She’d been using her abilities to control what he did. How he felt. Pushing emotions on him.
“Get out.” His mother pushed hard, knocking him onto the porch and slamming the door behind him. The deadbolt slid into place.
Hagen was frozen in place. All he thought he knew, all he thought he wanted. It was a lie.
A lie she fed him.
And he’d eaten it up. Like a starving man being served dinner. Because he was a starving man and she dished out everything he’d ever wanted. Understanding. Acceptance. Patience.
Rhea made him think she had it all in spades. Tricking him into loving her. Making him think she was all he wanted. Making him believe in a stupid prophecy.
All because she wanted this chance with Chauncey. She knew if he loved her he would move the Earth to give them what they needed. Then she would leave and go on her merry way with everything she always wanted.
And leave him in the dust to suffer.
Hagen stalked down the steps and around the side of the B&B. It was time to end this before he made more of a fool of himself. He rounded the back corner, intent on getting back into the building and letting Rhea know her plan failed miserably. He wasn’t a pawn in her game anymore.
“Stop.” Rhea stood in the back garden, her hand held up. Her eyes were bright, shining in the midday sun as it passed through a break in the storm clouds.
A weight pushed against Hagen’s chest, stopping his feet in their tracks. He looked down at the spot between his ribs. He rubbed his hand over it, proving what his eyes told him. There was nothing there. Nothing to explain the pressure against his skin.
Hagen looked up at Rhea. She dropped her hand and the pressure evaporated into the rapidly cooling air. Another growl of thunder rumbled behind her, closer this time as the storm moved in, stealing the heat of the day. The wind kicked up around them as Hagen stared at the woman who almost made him believe he was wrong. That he could have the life he wanted. The life he dreamed of with a woman who loved him. Accepted him. In spite of what he would never be.
What he would never give.
“I know what you’re doing.” He forced his tone to be flat and emotionless as he stared at her. She didn’t need to know he was dying inside. The pain of her betrayal a knife to his soul. The wounded beast inside egged him on, fueling his anger.
Rhea’s eyes flashed. “Enlighten me.” She stepped toward him, her energy strong and swirling, making the air around him crackle. “Because I’m not sure what the hell is going on right now.” She stopped a few feet in front of him as the wind grabbed her hair, blowing the mass of fiery flames in all directions. She cocked her head as her eyes narrowed at him.
He knew what she was doing and it would be the last time. “Cut the shit.” He stepped toward her, closing the gap she left between them in one step. “I know what you’ve been doing and I’m not going to be your fucking pawn anymore.”
Rhea’s eyes slid over his face. Her jaw tightened and he watched her spine straighten, vertebrae by vertebrae. She took a long breath. Then blew it out. A strike of lightning lit up the dark sky as the first thick drops of rain fell around them. She didn’t flinch.
“You aren’t even going to defend yourself?” He snorted. “Unbelievable.” He shook his head as he backed up. “Sorry you didn’t get what you wanted out of all this.”
Hagen turned and ran up the side of the bed and breakfast as the rain began to fall faster. Heavy drops splattered against his face and soaked his clothes as he continued to run, letting the beast have a taste of what it needed to take the edge off the gutting pain.
As his boots pounded against the stairs to his house the loss squeezed his chest, stealing the air from his lungs. He shoved through the door and grabbed the bag he packed to take tonight.
He needed to leave. Go somewhere he could be alone and try to figure out how in the fuck he was supposed to go on living now.
Without her.
The thought was almost more than he could bear. But it was his reality. One he had a hand in.
Hagen threw the bag in the passenger seat of his truck and climbed behind the wheel. He didn’t look back as he sped out of town and away from the only woman he’d ever allowed himself to care about.
He’d wait until she was gone before he came back. Let her finish what she came for, then she’d be out of his town. Out of his bed. Out of his life.
If only it would be as easy to get her out of his heart.
20
Rhea glared at the beast, looking him straight in the eye, staring him down from across the room. She shifted in her seat, trying to find a more comfortable position in the small, wood-armed chair tucked into the corner of her room at the bed and breakfast.
The same room she never expected to sleep in again.
So far it was still true.
She rubbed at her eyes, still burning from too many tears and too little sleep.
None to be exact.
The bed sat, unused, the faces of a beast sh
e once didn’t believe existed carved into the wood canopy staring out at her in the dim bit of daylight peeking in the windows. Rhea leaned forward in the chair, rubbing her throbbing temples.
What in the hell was she supposed to do now?
Hagen was gone. Far enough away she couldn’t even feel the tiniest bit of him no matter how hard she tried. He threw out a list of accusations, none of which were what he was really upset about, and took off. Pissed as hell at himself and taking it out on her.
A soft knock sounded on the door before it slowly slipped open, a slit of light from the hall growing across the floral carpet as the gap widened. “Rhea honey? You awake?”
Gail’s head peeked in. As her eyes landed on the perfectly made bed her brows came together deepening the soft lines across her forehead. “Shit.”
“I’m still here.” Rhea pushed her tired body from the chair and crossed to open the door the rest of the way.
Gail didn’t hide her relief. Her shoulders gently sagged down as she let out a breath. She smiled warmly as she rested her hand on Rhea’s arm, softly rubbing. “How ya doing?”
“I’m fine.” She tried to force a smile that refused to cooperate.
“Oh, honey.” Gail pulled her in for a tight hug and held the embrace. “My boys are lookers but they are hell to deal with sometimes.” She pulled back and held Rhea at arm’s length. “But they’re worth all the hassle.”
Rhea snorted softly. “I’m not so sure that’s something I’ll be finding out.”
“You have to.” Gail’s grip tightened on her shoulders. “You’ve got to make him see. Show him you’re not so easy to scare away.”
Rhea shook her head. “No.”
This wasn’t about how easy she was or wasn’t to scare away. This was about him. Hagen wasn’t scaring.
He was pushing.
And maybe she was okay with letting him. Maybe this was the best thing that could happen. That Hagen would pull away before it was too late.
At least now Rhea knew he believed he was doing what was right. What was best.
For her.
It eased the pain of knowing she would have to be without him and all she let herself imagine they could be. When he stood in front of her yesterday, accusing her of things they both knew she didn’t do, she felt his rage. The anger and frustration inside him boiled over, spilling all around him.
And it wasn’t at her.
“I think maybe this is what is best for both of us.” The words sounded hollow even to her own ears. Rhea didn’t want to say them and if she was going to be honest, she sure as hell didn’t mean them.
But now wasn’t the time for honesty.
Now was the time to do what had to be done.
Gail’s eyes were wide and she started shaking her head, making the silver hoops dangling from her earlobes swing back and forth. “That can’t be true.”
“You’ll have to take that up with your son then.” Rhea managed a weak smile as she shut the door, using it to ease Gail out of her room and into the quiet hallway. The last thing she saw before the door closed was Gail, still shaking her head and sputtering about hair and fire.
Rhea sank to the floor, letting her back rest against the door. She took a shaky breath, fighting the burn of tears against her irritated lids. Hagen gave her an easy out. One he appeared to be taking advantage of himself.
She knew what it was as it happened. He was doing what he’d done from the beginning. Pushing her to safety.
Only this time it was to protect her from him.
It made her almost as angry now as it did yesterday, igniting the burn deep inside her belly. That was the emotion she had to hang onto because the sadness and pain she wallowed in all night was unbearable.
But Rhea was too exhausted to hold onto the anger long. Drained from a sleepless night full of the kind of feelings she’d spent her life trying to avoid. It was the reason she wasn’t a doctor. It was the reason she’d never had a meaningful relationship.
And it was the reason she was heavily considering walking away. Going back to LA and pretending like none of this ever happened. It was an impossible plan but it was all she had. Imagining a time where she wouldn’t feel the pain cutting through her right now was the only thing keeping her going.
Rhea pushed up from the floor shooting the beast on her bed a nasty look. She needed to get out of this room. She mulled over changing out of the clothes she still wore from yesterday. Deciding it wasn’t worth the hassle or the extra laundry, Rhea pulled on her shoes and laid her hand to the door, eyes closed as she let her senses feel out the hallway.
All was quiet.
She still opened the door slowly, cracking it a tiny bit to peek out. Figuring out what she was capable of was one thing, trusting it was another.
Just as she felt, the hallway was deserted. There was no sign of Gail as Rhea quietly made her way down the staircase in the silent building, stepping lightly on the treads. The front door barely made a sound as she eased it open and slipped out into the dusky morning.
The fresh air felt good in her lungs as Rhea breathed it in. It was still cool, making her glad she didn’t switch out her hoodie and leggings for shorts and a t-shirt. Almost immediately she felt lighter. This was what she needed. To be outside. It always helped her when things became too much to deal with. The peace and calm of nature did more to ground her than anything else.
Her breath stalled.
Almost anything else.
Rhea’s lungs twisted as she tried to breathe through the pain that came back full force at the memory of the calm Hagen brought to her life.
Formerly brought to her life.
Now he was the cause of her pain. Her suffering.
The anger came back, spurring her off the porch and around the B&B. Rhea marched through the garden, holding tight to the rage building with each step as she went to the one spot she knew would give her what she needed.
She passed the gazebo. The spot where Christine gave her a glimpse of what she was. What she could do if she was willing to try.
Where Christine told her about the vision.
Her legs moved faster as the tree line at the edge of town came into view. It was like a magnet, pulling her in, and she went, instinct spurring her on, like a moth to a flame. As she broke into the clearing, Rhea fell to her knees on the soft grass. The dampness lingering from yesterday’s storm seeped into the fabric of her leggings as she dropped down, spreading her palms over the ground, letting the energy below flow into her starved body.
Warmth spread through her, soothing her pain, easing the sadness, clearing her head.
What in the hell was she supposed to do now?
No. That wasn’t the right question.
What was she going to do now?
The answer came down to what she believed to be the truth.
Did she believe all Christine said? Did she believe in herself? What she was? What she could be?
That was what Rhea had to decide. To stay and fight for what she wanted or run away and save herself the devastation of potentially losing that fight.
Fight or fear?
Love or loss?
Rhea rolled to her back and closed her eyes, pulling in as much of the energy from below as her body would take.
Because she was going to need it.
****
“Where have you been?” Stewart leaned around her, scrunching up his face as he walked in a slow circle. “Why are you wet?” He picked at a clump of her hair. “And why do you have shit in your hair?”
Rhea yanked the strand from his hand. “It’s not shit. It’s grass.”
He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean literal shit. I mean weird shit. Shit that shouldn’t be in your hair.” He leaned back, taking in her appearance with questioning eyes. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you were rolling around with someone.” He wiggled his well groomed brows at her. “Big and Scary give you a little something this morning?”
She couldn’t h
ide from the sting of his words. “No.”
Stewart’s eyes widened. “Re-Re.” He drew out the last part of the nickname he gave her the first time they met. His brown eyes were serious. “I wasn’t kidding. I will kill a man.”
For the first time today she laughed. “I know.” She patted her best friend’s chest. “I don’t think that will be necessary.”
“I would though.” He pursed his lips and slowly shook his head. “I would come at him like an angry chipmunk and I would tear into him.”
She grabbed Stewart in a tight embrace. “I know you would.”
Stewart stood stiff for a minute. “Uh.” He slowly wrapped his arms around her, patting her softly on the back. “So you’re a hugger now?”
She sniffed a little. “Don’t get used to it. I could go back to my normal antisocial self at any time.”
Stewart had a smile on when she pulled back, his brows raised high on his head. “Maybe you could do it in New York?”
She shrugged. “Maybe.” Right now where she lived was near the bottom of a long list of things she had to deal with. A list she didn’t want to waste time getting started on. “Where’s Chauncey?”
Stewart pointed over his shoulder at the bed and breakfast’s stairs. “He’s up packing.”
“Packing?” Rhea looked at the stairs and then at Stewart. “I didn’t think we were going to camp out anymore.”
“We’re going home.” Chauncey stood at the top of the stairs, a rolling suitcase perched on the landing beside him. “There’s nothing here. This was all a freaking waste of my time.”
He started down the stairs, his lips tucked into what could best be described as a pout, stomping his way down like a petulant child. “I have other shit to do.”
He stopped beside Stewart. “The bus will be here in a few hours.”
“You can’t leave.” Rhea looked to Stewart for back up. “There’s something here. I’ve seen it.”
It was true. There was something here. Not what Chauncey thought, but he didn’t need to know that.
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