by C. S. Moore
“What is ahead, what is behind, it doesn’t matter. I have lived too long to care about anything that happens, but I’m glad for the change, a bit of excitement in the centuries of dullness. Did I ever tell you how happy I was when Shiphra fled?” she asked.
His anger boiled over, and she laughed.
He stifled his anger and spoke. “We are beacons of power mortals know not of. Does duty mean nothing to you?” he asked. Delia smiled a twisted smile, her sharp cheekbones becoming peaks. “It used to, but my sense of duty fled years ago, as did yours.”
Baal went to speak but had nothing to say.
“Duty means nothing to you. It’s power, energy, and control you hold dear. Otherwise, you’d care as little as I do about Amanda being free. Why is it so important? Because people disagreed with your decree and acted upon it, and it kills you.” She brushed a single long white hair out of her face delicately as if she cherished the remnants of this reminder of her old appearance. Then she continued. “Don’t worry. This is a mere bump in the road. You like ordering, and they seem to be okay with following. So, who cares?”
Baal let out a breath that he had been holding for some time. Delia’s words had soothed his troubled mind.
Delia looked back at the strange leather clump that had been Heisle and picked it up from the ground. She tossed Heisle casually back and forth in her gigantic hands like a basketball. She interrupted his calming breath, gleefully taking away the relief she’d brought to him. “Of course, things are going to be a heck of a lot bumpier around here if Amanda—”
Baal cut her off in a roar of anger as he looked at the ball that was Heisle and understood what she was going to say. “Don’t even think it! I forbid you.”
With that, Delia gently tossed Heisle into Baal’s cold hands and glided away coolly.
“OH, PLEASE LET MADGIE BE okay,” Amanda pleaded.
Each passing minute without Madgie was accompanied with a new and terrible possibility as to what could have happened to her, compliments of her over-worrisome mind. They’d been searching for hours with no sign of her… or Carter. She wondered if they had chosen the wrong direction. Maybe they were on the other side of the hill.
Hopefully, Cole was having more luck. She thought about going back, but something told her the valley was the right place to look. Amanda had pictured them here so clearly, and although she couldn’t see or feel them, she knew they were somewhere near. She pushed her way blindly through a thick group of bushes and caught her foot on something hard. With a chorus of breaking branches, she fell to the ground.
“Stupid rocks,” she grumbled.
Amanda was trying to untangle herself, quietly hoping that no one, friend or foe, had heard her fall. She managed to get herself into a kneeling position and began examining her scraped palms, her skin was raised up in an odd-looking welt that didn’t seem to have anything to do with the fall. She was trying to understand this new set of marks when she heard a branch snap in front of her. Her head jerked up. How close was that? Twenty- five yards, or less? Unable to see anything through all of the dense bamboo, she narrowed her eyes, squinting into the darkness. The white moon cast an eerie light onto the valley, seeming to wash away all color.
She didn’t move, didn’t breathe, straining her ears to hear something. The rustling of bushes, the snapping of a twig, but the only sound she heard was her own heart thudding loudly in her ears. She relaxed. There was nothing out there. If she jumped at every noise she heard, she’d be too busy jumping to find Madgie.
She just hadn’t been in the wilderness for a long while. Not since she’d stopped running…
Amanda’s attempt at calming thoughts was interrupted by the barely audible intake of a raspy breath.
Staring at where the sound had come from, she tried to ignore the fact that the noise didn’t sound human. She imagined two bright spheres glowing like embers three feet from the ground. Amanda couldn’t see the pair of eyes, but she could feel them. She felt the scream rise to her throat but choked it back.
She drew up her strength and found she didn’t have much.
Her fear was too great, and the poison in her veins seemed to thrive on it. Amanda glanced at her outstretched hands and saw the marks begin to darken and spread, feathering out like an ink well spilling on white paper. Her core lashed out at the migrating disease, her soul feebly attempting to keep the darkness from overcoming her entire being. The inner fight tore away the last of her strength, and she slowly fell to her side, collapsing in pain. Amanda’s delicate face impacted the rough, unforgiving terrain.
A trail of black tainted blood poured out of her torn cheek and ran into the darkness. She didn’t feel her cheek split open or the sharp rock that had pierced her thigh. Amanda didn’t even feel the rush of air escape her lips in a cry of agony. She could only feel the poison tearing at her being and the desire that it would just take her, wishing she could just cease to be.
“If this is payment for running, I was never running from you. I just couldn’t handle their pain, it was…”
Through the fog of agony, Amanda felt more than heard padded footsteps. She opened her eyes slowly. Her vision came in and out of focus, bringing her dark blood into clear view, then the opening in front of her. She saw the convex trail of gore still flowing, the earth refusing to absorb it, then the clearing and the movement. A tall wisp of bamboo lazily leaned four inches to the right, and her unnatural lifeblood continued on its way.
“Come on, eyes!” She tried to refocus on the distant outline of the grove, and a new sound sprang up behind her, a swift chiming-like wind through a field of grass. Then the noise was in front of her again.
They were circling her like vultures. She hoped Cole had found Madgie and gotten out of there. The clearing came back into focus, and shimmering moonlight danced off the silver fur of a large wolf. The animal was far too large to be a normal wolf. The creature had been touched by magic in some way. Amanda could see the power and energy flowing from the beast. She’d never witnessed anything like it. She had no strength left in her to fight, but instinct told her to soak up the energy crashing out of the wolf. She wondered at the strange urge but tried it.
She closed her eyes and breathed the animal’s energy into her body, and she was swept away. Amanda felt hair blowing around her face and, through another’s eyes, witnessed rocky terrain flying underfoot faster than a person’s legs should have allowed. Cool, fresh air was pumping in and out of her lungs, cleansing both body and mind.
Fear rippled away replaced by exhilaration. Her spirit walled the poison back into its dam, and her energy returned to her as the pain ebbed. Amanda’s hand went to her cheek as the gaping wound that had been there closed up. She hadn’t ever felt the way she did in that moment and struggled to find the words to describe it. After some thought, she knew what it was. Freedom. She felt free.
Her thoughts calmed from a raging river to a clear pool, and she was able to deduce that she and the wolf had become one for a brief moment. Amanda opened her eyes and surprisingly felt stronger than she had in days. She sat up and looked at the wolf, not sure what to make of the creature. Did it help her, or had she just helped herself by stealing its seemingly endless energy supply? Her head turned sharply as the telltale sound of moving branches called out in the distance. Immediately the animal’s silver fur stood on end, changing from the silkiest of surfaces to a mountain of quills. Whatever this was, it was no friend to her.
Amanda let out a shriek, not caring who heard it, as the wolf took on the familiar low crouch of a predator seeking prey. The crazed animal wound its way toward her, baring its teeth as an unearthly growl rattled out of the depths of its belly. She sprang to life, her still-injured thigh slowing her as she attempted to put space between her and the demented wolf. Moving backward in an awkward crab walk, she scraped her hands on unapologetic rocks that peaked just above the soil. The wolf’s ears twitched up instinctively as more rustling branches made an unnamed presence known. At
the sound of rushing steps less than twenty yards away, the wolf called out predatorily. Seeing the spray of saliva rush out as it sounded brought her attention to the animal’s large porcelain teeth. They glistened white in the moonlight, pure, beautiful, and frightening. She decided on the spot that the unknown was easier to face than what was in front of her.
She pushed herself her feet, wobbling a bit before bolting into the thick welcoming cover of the valley floor. She flew over obstacles as fast as she was able. Amanda still felt a presence near, but she was too frightened to search for her hungry pursuer or keep the torrent of passing branches from striking her face.
She gathered the courage to glance behind her, pushing images of the great silver wolf overcoming her, teeth wide, out of her mind, and there was nothing but the path of destruction her flight had caused in the undergrowth. She was about to slow when she saw a flash of silver in her peripheral vision. Amanda doubled her stride.
The wolf was keeping pace with her, running just to her right. A thin fence of branches and leaves was the only thing separating them. It was darker in the brush, like the moonlight had found this place uninteresting and chose to pass it over. The darkness made a chilling scene, but more than the dark, the silence frightened her. If she hadn’t seen the unique silver sheen of the wolf passing through the gaps in the limbs as headlights pass through windows at night, she’d never have guessed that the large animal was tearing through the woods right next to her. How could it move so quietly? She watched as the wolf’s unbelievably large paw met the earth with barely a sound. She quickly changed her course and veered off to the left, attempting to cut a path, with nature’s tangled hands scratching at her flailing arms as she passed. After a few paces, she glanced around and saw no sign of the creature, which frightened her more than having it on her heels.
With no sign of the wolf, she started to find Cole. She tried to return to where they’d decided to divide and conquer, but found herself so turned around she had no idea which direction to point herself in. Amanda needed to find him, to know he was all right. As she searched, her fear turned every other rock and bush into the shadow of something sinister. She felt ridiculous running around frightened by trees.
Amanda calmed herself and sat on a large rock. Looking at the dark alcove before her, she knew she wasn’t going the right way. She didn’t want to waste any energy, but if she was going to find Cole, she’d need to seek him out a different way. She concentrated on him, recalling the feeling his presence always had. Light, kind, loving, and simple.
That was one of the things she enjoyed most about him, his simplicity. Most people were so complex with a thousand different cords attached to one truth. Healers especially seemed to overcomplicate things, but Cole didn’t need a thousand strings. If something felt right, it was right. If a situation felt wrong, it was wrong. If he wanted anything he pursued it, no games or charades. Just him.
As she brought his image to the forefront of her mind, a shiver rippled through her body that had nothing to do with attraction. Cole was running swiftly through the valley floor, apparently oblivious to the fact that he was being closely followed. She was seeing Cole through another’s eyes. Amanda had seen through these eyes before, the large cautious eyes of a beast.
“Cole!” she cried out, not caring if Carter or the Ancients heard her now. She needed to find Cole before the strange predator decided it was done giving chase and ready for the kill.
A LONELY TWINLEAF BLOSSOM stood tall, awake, though its brothers had closed into dreams hours earlier. The aforementioned was looking up at the small strip of sky that was so familiar. Its short life span was full of late nights; unable to rest, so enthralled by the flaming specks of light that came out after the day had ended. It would never know how far the sky stretched, because the valley walls allowed only this little glimpse. The protection of these walls had provided safety for this little flower to grow strong. Unfortunately, the walls didn’t protect the flower this night. As the flower stood, face toward the sky, refusing to succumb to the call of sleep, Amanda crashed through the foliage, her sneaker putting the little stargazer to rest. Permanently.
“Cole!” she screamed out frantically.
Amanda heard nothing but her heaving breath. The silence frightened her, and she abandoned the little stealth left in her movement. Caution to the wind, she flew over the terrain, leaping over obstacles and landing lightly. She’d never moved this way. Amanda felt as light as the air moving all around her, and she noticed for the first time that the air was actually moving. She studied it as she ran, completely enthralled and confused.
The atmosphere was a habitat of its own, teaming with unnoticed lives; pollen, dust, and microscopic creatures twirled within the light breeze. She attempted to blink away the scene in front of her, but when she peeled her eyes open, they were still there. Her already large eyes grew wide in shock. She gave it another try, shutting her eyes tighter this time, face scrunching in the process.
“Please be gone, please be gone.”
The little specks didn’t notice the worry in her eyes as they shot open and beheld the once hidden world still bustling around her, but she noticed them. Amanda reached her hand across the space between her and the nearest one, her hand ghostly in the night and touched the tiny thing. As her extended finger made contact, she felt the life of the speck. It was a bit of pollen from a flower. As the energy flowed into her, she knew she wasn’t crazy. They’re real, she thought, feeling both relieved and confused but shrugging it off to adrenaline. Crisis situations can cause ultra- sensitivity. She’d heard that before. Did she think life with demon poison running through her veins would be normal? Of course, strange things are happening. That’s kind of what she was now, a strange thing.
She continued through the bushes, attempting to ignore the tiny little lives so numerous that they were hard to disregard. “Cole! Where are you?” Amanda cried out and strained her ears to listen. She heard nothing now, not her breath or even the sound of her own footfall. “What’s happening?” She listened again as the ball of her foot contacted the dry earth, and not a sound escaped. Fire burned at her chest and she sucked in the breath she’d been unconsciously holding to prevent inhalation of the little dancing shapes suspended in the air. She repressed the fear that scratched at her, knowing she couldn’t allow it to enter her frail body.
The hazardous obstacles of the forest didn’t seem to affect her speed as they should have, but before she could think too much about that, she felt Cole’s presence near her.
“Cole!” she shouted, but choking on worry, his name came out only a broken whisper.
She closed her eyes and let his presence draw her in like a magnet. Amanda would have felt relief at his nearing if she didn’t feel the overwhelming presence of the mysterious wolf so near him. She ran through foliage, not caring enough about the painful scrapes that the branches left behind because all that mattered to her in that moment was Cole.
Amanda smashed her way through an overgrown rose bush and ran head first into a meaty wall. Her breath came out in a rush, as if her lungs didn’t want the air. Her knees gave out as she tried to collect the wind that had been knocked out of her. She wondered why she hadn’t hit the ground, before feeling the warmth of Cole’s arms around her waist. Amanda opened her eyes, and Cole smiled down at her.
“You had me worried. I thought an army of gorillas was attacking you with all of the screaming going on. I did tell you this was a stealth mission, right? By stealth, I meant no noise, and that is pretty much the exact opposite of what you’ve been doing,” Cole jibed. He tenderly moved the hair out of her eyes and gazed into them though she didn’t know why he would want to.
She remembered what those eyes looked like when she’d seen her reflection in the great wolf’s glassy stare. “The wolf!” she gasped, still out of breath.
Amanda jumped out of Cole’s arms and put herself in front of him protectively. Spinning around quickly, she dropped into a crouched posit
ion. She was face to face with the great beast. The animal’s large eyes gazed at her curiously. Like the last time she’d met the animal, she felt at peace.
It has to be some trick. Calm its prey into submission, before making it dinner.
Even as she thought the words, the animal shook its large head back and forth, sending silvery fur into a dance. It was like no other wolf she’d seen. Perhaps it wasn’t like an earthily predator out for a midnight snack. Maybe it was something else entirely. Cole put a hand on her tense shoulder and spoke.
“Amanda, what…”
She waved him silent. “Did the Ancients send you?” she asked.
Again, the wolf looked at her inquisitively. He wasn’t looking at her, but gazing in her knowingly. At that moment, she’d never felt closer to another being. He was a part of her, an extension of her. She saw the wolf’s spirit, and it was the oldest she’d ever seen, older than the Ancients even. Its light melted into her pores like falling rain on dry skin. She felt whole, and in that
moment of temporary bliss, she was pulled back to reality by Cole’s urgent voice.
“Amanda, Amanda, what is happening? What are you staring at?” he asked.
She took a second to process the question. Then she glanced back at the wolf, her wolf, or she thought of him that way for a reason she couldn’t understand. The wolf’s ears were erect, and he stood taller than her shoulder, lighting the forest like the noon sun.
“Amanda?” Cole smoothed her face with his rough hand.
“Are you all right? What’s going on?” he asked.
She watched as her wolf’s fur was tussled by the same breeze that Cole’s loose curls swayed in. Amanda was about to speak, telling him about the wolf that was before them. ‘Can’t you see the shimmering, horse-sized wolf’… but she thought better of it. She didn’t think she was crazy. Amanda knew he was there but didn’t want to frighten Cole. He was dealing with enough right now. He didn’t need to worry about throwing her in a makeshift straight jacket.