by C. S. Moore
She opened her mouth but couldn’t force out the words, realizing the truth of what she was probably wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
“Tell him. Tell him what you know, but do not let him flee. He will try.”
She wanted to be confused by Shiphra’s words, but she wasn’t. Amanda understood them perfectly, just as she understood what she now was. “You want to know what I am? I will tell you, but it was no demon that changed me. I’m not sure what did…” She paused, looking at Cole, not wanting him to hear what she was going to say.
“Stop stalling!” the Ancient screamed, and with a flick of his wrist, a red line appeared on Cole’s cheek.
Her anger rose as she saw blood run from the fresh wound and a tear stream out of the corner of his eye. “You’ll be sorry you did that!” she said, struggling to keep her voice even.
“Really? Why is that, little one?” he asked with a sharp smile dancing across his uneven face.
“Because I have one of those too,” she said, gesturing to the large peacock.
He looked at the bird and then back at her in confusion.
“You can see my–” He was cut off as her wolf crashed out of the foliage behind her. Bright and majestic he stood towering over the scene, and there was no mistaking what her wolf was, not anymore. Drawing his energy, she flicked her wrist. A line appeared across the Ancient’s yellowed skin, but no blood came running out. The wound split one of the hundreds of figure eights that he had scrawled on his body in half. Lifting her hand up, she saw that the twisted mark there matched his. She held her palm up to him.
“Does that give you your answer? I am you! I am an Ancient.” She spit the words out, knowing they were true and willing them not to be, wishing that she could do something to make that statement false. She looked at Cole, whose eyes were wide in astonishment. Amanda hoped he didn’t hate her as much as she hated herself for being one of them, one of those evil creatures.
“Hey, we aren’t all evil. Just strive to be like me. I’m a pretty good role model… maybe try to eat healthier. I have lived on nothing but doughnuts for at least fifty years now,” Shiphra said in an oddly whimsical tone.
It took her a moment to realize that the voice had come from beside her, not from some mysterious entity thousands of miles away, but from a tiny round old woman standing at her side.
Her long white hair looked bright against the smoke-filled forest, and her eyes seemed too large for her face but were bright and beautiful. Light and life and love poured from her aura, bringing tears to her eyes.
“Shiphra?” Amanda whispered.
THE NAME SEEMED TO SLAP THE stunned Ancient out of his stupor, and before her mind had processed any movement, he was ten yards away.
“Not so fast, Elijah!” Shiphra shouted.
The tall figure froze in place. Shocked as she was by Shiphra’s sudden appearance, it took her a few moments to notice the small lemur-like creature perched on her shoulder. It was studying her with large bright eyes that looked just like the woman’s he was perched on.
Amanda didn’t study him long, only having eyes for Cole, now free of his bonds. She ran to his side, helping him to a sitting position. He hadn’t fared as well as Amanda had against the Ancient’s tight bonds. His eyes bore into hers so full of emotion she couldn’t bring herself to speak. Amanda thought he was going to die, that she’d never be able to talk to him again or see the light in his breathtaking eyes. She wanted to tell him so many things, but couldn’t bring herself to say a word.
“I told you he would flee, didn’t I?” Shiphra said in a huff.
“Only up for a fight that isn’t fair?” she asked the suspended being. “No more!”
Her voice hung in the thick smoky air slowly fading until there was silence. Amanda knelt next to Cole, supporting his upper half, making sure he was okay while trying to understand what was going on between Shiphra and the other Ancient. A low hum filled her ears, getting stronger until she could feel the hum in her chest and then vibrating the ground beneath her.
Shiphra stood, arms wide, appearing much larger than her four-foot frame should have suggested. Her brow was creased in concentration. Amanda looked between the powerful beings. They looked so alien, like they didn’t belong in this world. Even frozen in place Elijah looked too powerful and menacing. Shiphra had a round face, delicate little hands. Though she still had the
Ancient’s mark tattooed across her body, she looked much more human. However, even with these human attributes she was other.
Her entire life, up until recently, had been spent pining to be normal. Just when she finally got her footing, just when she wasn’t just okay with the fact that she was a Healer, but ecstatic to be one… that life was taken from her. Amanda thought of Mae’s father, remembering the look of peace and happiness he had right before crossing over and the high that she felt knowing she’d helped them out of their Hell. She wasn’t a Healer anymore, Amanda realized. She looked down at Cole, wondering if he still wanted her, knowing what she now was. She wondered how much time she had left to hold him with arms that looked soft and feminine. Would she just wake up one morning jagged and nine feet tall?
“What is she doing?” Cole asked, bringing her out of her selfish thoughts and back to reality.
Amanda was about to answer with a simple, “I don’t know,” but decided to see if she could find out. Closing her eyes, she felt the dull hum in the air and traced it back to Shiphra’s mind, which was open to her. Amanda reeled back into herself when she saw what Shiphra was doing. “She’s trying to kill him.”
“What… can she do that?” he asked in a whisper.
She was about to tell him what Armaan had said to her but was interrupted.
“Sure. Only an Ancient can kill an Ancient,” Armaan said quickly. “Aren’t you going to help her, Amanda?”
Shiphra stood a mere fifteen feet away, but she may as well have been a mile away. She was shut off from everything around her and didn’t seem to be able to hear their conversation.
“Help her kill someone?” she asked. “Listen, I know you think I’m this revolution princess or something, but killing people isn’t what I do.” She looked up at Shiphra’s face. Some of the light drained from it as the hum in the air began to hurt her ears.
“You’re just going to sit here?” Armaan demanded. “How can you just sit here? Do you know how long she has waited for this to happen?” he screamed, making Cole attempt to stand up.
“Listen, she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do. Now back off!” Cole shouted, swaying side to side, struggling to keep his balance.
“Don’t make me out to be the villain here, Cole; she is supposed to want to help…”
“Armaan, I’m fine.” Shiphra spoke with confidence, though it seemed hard. “She has already helped more than you know. This is more difficult than it appears to be. He is fighting a good fight, so be quiet now… and possibly take cover.” She was quiet again, and the humming increased another level, vibrating the ground more fiercely, causing bits of gravel and rock to move about.
“What does she mean fighting a good fight? He isn’t even moving,” Cole whispered.
“She is trying to break down his energy, but with his Uleery right there it’s hard for her,” Armaan said in frustration.
“Uleery?”
“Do you know nothing about the Ancients? Can’t you feel the massive amounts of energy that comes off them? They’re one hundred times more powerful than you or I, but that fountain of energy you feel isn’t them. It is the Uleery, the givers of energy. Every Ancient possesses one, and only the Ancients can see them, but anyone that pays attention can feel them,” Armaan said.
Cole closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them in shock. “You have one too, don’t you?” he asked her in surprise. Amanda looked behind her at her wolf, standing at attention, ready for anything. “Yeah, I guess so,” she said dismissively, not wanting to talk or even think about her and the Ancient�
�s similarities. “So how is she supposed to kill him when he has a never ending energy supply?”
“It isn’t never-ending; she just has to have more energy than him at a given moment. That’s why you should be helping her; two Ancient’s versus one has higher odds of only one of them dying,” Armaan said.
“Leave it alone, Armaan. You heard Shiphra; she doesn’t need help,” Cole said.
Amanda could tell by Cole’s tone that he stood by her choice but didn’t agree with it. Am I wrong to not want to kill someone again? Murder is wrong. So why do I feel terrible for doing the right thing? “It isn’t a matter of want.” She looked up at the small struggling woman. Her eyes were still closed, and her mouth was unmoving. This was a private conversation between them. “I don’t want to kill anyone. It’s a matter of necessity. Elijah has had over seven hundred years to choose his path. This is more than us. It isn’t like I am choosing my life over his. I am choosing the freedom of thousands over his selfish existence,” Shiphra finished, sounding weak.
The two Ancients, frozen in place, appeared weaker by the second, but Amanda couldn’t be sure if Shiphra’s energy was draining slower than Elijah’s or not. Shiphra’s crinkled forehead broke out in a heavy sweat, and her raised arms began to shake, making Armaan and Cole grow more agitated.
“Isn’t there something we can do to help her?” Cole demanded to a frantic Armaan who was pacing behind his leader.
“Don’t you think I would help her if I could?” he screamed. “We can’t do anything against an Ancient.” Shiphra, still lost in a trance, let out a blood-curdling scream.
“This can’t be happening; this can’t be happening.” Armaan’s pacing quickened.
Cole glanced over at Amanda, his dark eyes unsure. “I know that you hate violence, you weren’t trained like me or Armaan. And I respect whatever you chose to do, but…” He paused seeming unsure if he should continue. “I just want you to understand what your choice means… If you don’t do something, Shiphra could die. She is the only good Ancient left; she is the only one who can help the Healers find freedom, the only one who can help you find your little trapped spirit. If she dies, hope dies with her.”
Amanda looked up at Shiphra’s struggling form. Her whole body had started shaking. She couldn’t allow her to die, she thought, still feeling torn.
“Murderer!” Carter’s voice echoed in her mind, dissuading her for a moment, but she pressed on.
What good would come from them both dying? Having no answer, she walked towards Shiphra, but Carter’s mangled body appeared between her and the old woman. Shocked and horrified by his appearance, she collapsed to her knees.
“Amanda!” Cole shouted, but she didn’t respond.
She had seen terrible things in her life as a Healer, but nothing could have prepared her for the sight of Carter. His aging corpse looked more gruesome than it had in her dreams. His once full head of hair had charred and fallen away leaving him closely resembling a mangy dog. His face, if it could be called such, looked more alien than human. So much skin had melted and rotten away that his eyeballs seemed in danger of rolling out of their sockets, having nothing to hold them in place.
“Murdererrr!” he whispered. His eyes rolled around in their sockets, struggling to look at her. “You did this to me, you selfish witch!” His milky stare had finally locked on her, and though they looked similar to Kaedin’s unseeing eyes, she could sense that these could see. Not just what most see on the surface, but beyond that. She could feel them boring into her very soul.
“Amanda what’s going on? Are you okay?” Cole said shaking her, but she couldn’t tear her gaze from Carter.
What did I do? How could I do that to you? She thought miserably. I’m a Healer, I am supposed to build, not destroy. Cole brought a hand to her moist, tear wrecked face.
“Armaan, help me please! Something’s happening to her,”
Cole screamed at the tall pacing boy. Armaan looked over at the pair of them. “Why is she saying Carter? Does she mean my brother’s right hand man? What’s he got to do with any of this?” Armaan asked as he knelt on Amanda’s other side.
Cole’s face contorted for a moment then lit up in recognition. “We had a run in with him. She put up a shield in front of him as he was about to hurl a spell at her, and it ended up killing him.” Cole said.
“Okay, well, what is going on with her?” Armaan asked. “I’m not sure; I know that she has been struggling with it.
Amanda feels like she was in the wrong, like she murdered him in cold blood or something. I mean he basically killed himself; she did nothing but put up a shield,” Cole said frantically hoping that what he said would bring her out of her state.
Armaan threw his hands up in disbelief. “Is that why she isn’t helping Shiphra?” he asked moving Close to Amanda’s ear. “Carter deserved more than what he got, Amanda!” he shouted.
Amanda could hear Armaan’s voice saying something in the back of her mind, but Carter’s haunting eyes held her in a trance.
“You don’t understand. Carter was evil. I saw him hurt women; I watched him torture innocent people for fun.” Armaan’s voice was becoming clearer, and Carter’s gaze fell away from her and focused on him in anger.
“I tortured people? Look at what you’ve done to me! You are the murderer, girly. You’ve always been a bad seed. I remember the day you showed up to the Hovel. Everyone thought you were a prodigy, falling into your first scar at such a tender age.” His laugh turned into a cough, and after a few choking hacks, he spit out a large chunk of flesh. “You were weak. You’ve always been weak. You let everyone down. Then again you’ve always done that too.”
She felt herself slipping back into despair.
“Amanda, listen to me!” Armaan’s voice sounded muffled and distant but still reached her. “Stop this! You are strong, you inspire, and you started a revolution with an incomplete sentence!” Under the desperation, she could still hear a smile in his voice as he recalled their conversation.
“I was on the Guard, so you can believe me when I say he was the murderer, not you. He has killed many and was trying to kill you that day. Please come out of this. Help Shiphra. It’s what you were meant to do,” Cole’s deep voice begged.
Carter crouched as if to pounce. Hunched over he looked less human still and more menacing than ever. “You will not help her; you could never do to another person what you did to me.” Even in death you are a slave to them, aren’t you? I didn’t do this to you, Carter. You can blame me if you want, but you made your choices… She looked up at the two struggling Ancients. Shiphra’s hold on Elijah was lessening, and he jerked violently side to side trying to break the bonds.
“No!” Carter cried before disappearing into nothingness. Amanda jumped to her feet and ran to Shiphra. Placing a hand on her frail shoulder, she channeled her energy into the old woman. The large wolf was at her side in a flash, resting his nose on her back, keeping her strong. Shiphra immediately straightened and opened her bright eyes. Elijah’s struggle ceased. “Please!” Elijah cried out. “Please, Shiphra, I’ll do anything. I have no allegiance to Baal, just ask it of me,” he begged.
“Go back in time. Erase the centuries you have tarnished with your evil,” Shiphra said. “I know what I ask even you aren’t powerful enough to accomplish. I’m sorry, Elijah. You made this decision for me long ago.”
“Please, Shiphra, Please…” His voice cut off as a bright beam of light shot out of his open mouth. It was overpowering, and Amanda had to shield her eyes. The earth beneath her feet trembled violently.
“Armaan, grab him and go!” Shiphra said quickly.
“What? I’m not leaving Amanda!” Cole said defiantly.
The ground shifted and cracked almost knocking her down.
“Get out of here, Cole, now!” Amanda demanded.
He ignored her words, moving close and wrapping his arms around her protectively. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said as the ground shuddered again.
“If you stay, you’ll need to put up a shield,” Shiphra said in a rush.
“I already have one around her,” Cole said. “Not around her, around you!” Shiphra huffed.
Cole didn’t say anything in response, just continued to hold her tightly.
“Amanda, protect him. Where we stand will be a crater shortly,” she whispered.
Amanda continued to lend her energy to the small woman and wrapped a shield around Cole. She sensed an evil seeping out of Elijah so sick and concentrated it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, darkness, death, and hatred. She hadn’t felt such a presence since her encounter with the demon in Kaedin’s scar.
How could that be coming from him?
She had definitely concluded that the Ancients were evil, but somehow feeling his true nature frightened her. An ear- splitting crack rang out as a fissure ran up his torso, making her scream. The jagged crevice broke his tattooed skin like the rumbling had broken the earth. Seeing him being split apart wasn’t as gruesome as she would have thought. There was no blood or tissue flying everywhere.
Maybe all that was human had dried up centuries ago. Her thoughts were drowned out by an explosion of sound and light. Shiphra ceased pulling energy and she knew it was over. They’d killed Elijah. She couldn’t see anything, chunks of earth hurdled at them at terrible speeds. Amanda held her shield over Cole with everything she had. Never being in any type of explosion, she was surprised by the sonic wave that ripped through her chest, leaving her feeling a bit dizzy. Cole’s shield over her had been destroyed by the eruption, but luckily hers held through the worst. After a few moments of silence, she opened her eyes.
Amanda was still wrapped tightly in Cole’s arms, and he didn’t seem to be loosening his grip, so she turned to face him. Smoke and dirt still hung in the air around them, and his handsome face was all she could see. The familiar contours of his face were caked in a layer of blood and dirt. She lifted her hand to the slash Elijah had put on his cheek and gently caressed it with her thumb until it was healed. He raised his hand to hers, squeezing it tightly. His shoulders heaved out a muffled sob, and he dropped his head before pulling her hand into his chest.