by Nora Roberts
“I appreciate both of you coming into Boston this way. I know it’s an inconvenience.”
“You had something you wanted to say to me, to us,” Eli corrected.
“Yes. I could see when you came to my home the two of you had something strong between you. I’ve always believed in that, that bond, that connection, and the promises that come out of it. I built my adult life on that, only to have it broken. So I wanted to talk to both of you. I’ve been speaking with the police for some time now since last night, in the presence of my lawyer, of course.”
“That’s wise.”
“Justin hasn’t been, but then he’s always been impulsive, a little rash. I balanced that out, as I tend to think things through, weigh options. We were a good team for a long time. You understand what I mean about balance,” she said to Abra.
“Yes, I do.”
“I thought you would. Now that Justin has confessed to, well, so much, now that I know what he’s done, I can, and I want to, move on. I can’t protect him, balance him, hope that he’ll come to his senses again and put our family first. It’s never going to happen. The police believe he killed a man in cold blood.”
“Yes.”
“And he caused your grandmother serious injury.”
“Yes.”
“It’s his obsession. That’s not an excuse, but it’s simple fact. About three years ago his great-uncle died, and Justin found letters, a journal, all these things that connected his family to yours, and to that dowry.”
“Information about Violeta Landon, Nathanial Broome?”
“Yes. I don’t know much as he started hoarding it all, keeping it from me. Everything began to change from that point. He kept pushing, digging, paying heavy fees. I won’t bore you with problems Justin had in the past, his ability and need to blame others for failures or mistakes or shortcomings. But I’ll tell you that the more he learned about this part of his ancestry, the more he felt you and your family were to blame for everything he didn’t have that he wanted. More, when he learned I actually knew your wife, and worked with her from time to time, he saw it as a sign. Who knows? Maybe it was.”
“He pursued her.”
“Yes. I didn’t know to what extent. He deceived me there, and I think, honestly? He began to want her, to convince himself he loved her because she was yours. He wanted what was yours, and saw it as his right. I didn’t know about the property in Whiskey Beach, or the investigator, or the break-ins. I only knew, in those months before Lindsay’s death, my husband was slipping away from me, lying to me. I think we know, don’t we?” she said to Abra.
“Yes, we probably do.”
“I tried everything, and finally stopped arguing with him about the time, the money, and convinced myself to simply wait it out. He’d had obsessions before, pulled away a bit before, but he always settled back again.”
She paused a moment, tucked the swing of her hair behind her ear. “This time, it was different. He told me he was filing for divorce. Just like that, as if it was nothing but a formality. He didn’t want our life any longer, couldn’t pretend to love me any longer. Again, I won’t bore you, but he shattered me. We fought, and said terrible things, as people do, and he told me he’d been involved with Lindsay, that she was his soul mate—those hackneyed words—and that they intended to be together.”
“That must’ve been terribly hurtful,” Abra said when Eden fell silent.
“It was horrible. The worst moment of my life. Everything I loved and believed in was slipping through my fingers. He said we’d tell the children over the weekend so we’d have plenty of time with them to ease the blow, and in the meantime, he’d sleep in the guest room, and we’d maintain a civilized front. I swear to you, I could hear Lindsay’s words coming out of his mouth, her way, her tone. You understand me?” she asked Eli.
“Yeah, I do.”
Her shoulders very straight, she nodded. “What I say next is without my lawyer or the police present, without the record, but I feel you deserve to hear it, and for me to say it to you.”
“I know you killed her.”
“Aren’t you interested in knowing what happened that night? In knowing why and how?”
Before Eli could speak, Abra laid a hand over his. “I am. I’d like to know.”
“There’s that balance at work. You’d walk away because you’re so angry, and she’ll help you stay because knowing will help you close the door on this, as much as you ever will.”
“You had to confront her,” Abra began.
“Wouldn’t you? He called to tell me he’d changed his mind and we’d have to put off telling the children together for a few days. Lindsay was upset because she’d fought with you, Eli, and she needed to get away for a few days. He needed to be with her. She needed, he needed. Nothing his family needed. I think they brought out the worst in each other,” Eden said. “Their most selfish selves.”
“You may be right.” Eli turned his hand to hold Abra’s, and thought how lucky he was.
“So, yes, I went to confront her, to try to reason with her, even to plead with her. She was angry, very angry still over your confrontation, what you’d said to her. And, I think, looking back, maybe a little guilty. But not enough. She let me in, took me into the library because she wanted to finish it, clear the slate, so she and Justin could move on. Nothing I said made any difference to her. Our own friendship meant nothing, my children meant nothing, my marriage, or the hurt they were causing. I begged her not to take my husband, not to take the father of my children, and she told me to grow up. This was how things were, how things worked. She said horrible things to me, cruel things, vicious things, and she turned her back on me. She dismissed me and my pain as nothing.”
After a pause, Eden folded her hands on the table. “The rest blurs. It was like watching someone else, someone else who grabbed the poker and struck out. I lost my mind.”
“That might work,” Eli said evenly, “if your lawyer’s as good as you are.”
“He’s very good, but regardless, I never went into that house intending to harm her, but to plead with her. And when I regained my senses, when it was too late, I thought of my family, my children, and what this would mean. I couldn’t change what I’d done in that moment of insanity, and I could only try to protect my family. So I went home. I took the clothes I’d worn there and cut them up. I bagged the pieces, weighed them down and drove out to throw them in the river. Then I came back home, and I started dinner. When Justin came home, he was hysterical, so I realized we could protect each other, as it should be, as it’s meant to be, and we’d try to put it behind us and rebuild our marriage. I felt he needed me. Lindsay would have ruined him. In fact, she did. And what she left me was a man I couldn’t fix, couldn’t save. I let him go, and did what I had to do to protect myself.”
“But you stood by and let what you’d done ruin Eli’s life.”
“I couldn’t stop it, or change it, though I was sorry, sincerely, that someone who’d been betrayed as I had would lose so much more. But in the end, I didn’t ruin his life. Lindsay did. She ruined his, mine, Justin’s. Even dead, she ruined us all. Now my children will be scarred.”
Her voice wavered a little, then strengthened again. “Even when my lawyer makes a deal with the prosecutor I have every confidence he’ll make, they’ll be scarred. You’ll have your balance, your chance for a future. I’ll have two children who’ll be shattered by what their father’s done out of selfishness, and what their mother did out of desperation. You’re free, and though I may not be punished to the extent you feel just, I’ll never be free.”
Eli leaned across the table. “Whatever she did, or planned to do, she didn’t deserve to die for it.”
“You’re kinder than I. But we can take it back to its roots. Your ancestor committed murder out of greed, cast off his own sister, for the same reasons. Without that, we wouldn’t be here. I’m really just a piece of all of it.”
“Believing that may help you get through
the next few weeks.” Eli got to his feet.
Once more, Abra put a hand over his as she rose. “For the sake of your children, I hope your lawyer is as good as you believe.”
“Thank you. I really wish both of you all the best.”
He had to walk out, get out. “Jesus Christ” was all he could say when Abra gripped his hands.
“Some people are twisted, in ways that don’t show. In ways they themselves don’t see or understand. It may be circumstances that twisted her, Eli, but she’ll never really see it.”
“I could get her off,” he stated. “I could get her off with five years, and she’d only do two.”
“Then I’m glad you’re not a defense attorney anymore.”
“So am I.” His hand tightened on hers as Wolfe walked down the hall.
“Landon.”
“Detective.”
“I was wrong, but you looked good for it.”
As Wolfe kept walking, Eli turned. “And that’s it? That’s it from you?”
Wolfe glanced back. “Yeah, that’s it.”
“He’s embarrassed,” Abra commented, and only smiled when Eli sent her a baffled stare. “He’s an asshole, but he’s also embarrassed. Forget him, and remember karma comes around.”
“I don’t know about karma, but I’ll start working on forgetting him.”
“Good. Let’s buy some flowers for Hester and go tell your family this most excellent news. Then we’ll go home, and see what happens next.”
He had some ideas about that.
He waited a few days, letting it all sink in for both of them. He had his life back, and didn’t need the media reports about Eden Suskind’s arrest for Lindsay’s murder, or Justin Suskind’s for Duncan’s, to tell him just that.
He had his life back, but not the life he’d had once, and he was glad of it.
He made plans, some with Abra—they’d throw Bluff House open for a major party for the Fourth of July. He showed her the very preliminary plans for installing an elevator so his grandmother could come home and live comfortably.
And some plans he didn’t share with her—yet.
So he waited, walked his dog, wrote, spent time with the woman he loved and began to look at Bluff House in a whole new light.
He chose an evening with soft breezes, and the promise of sunset, the anticipation of a full moon.
Doing his part, he dealt with the dinner dishes while she sat at the island working on her schedule for the upcoming week.
“I think, if I fiddle a little, I could add Zumba in the fall. It’s popular for a reason, and I can get certified.”
“I bet you could.”
“Yoga’s always going to be my core, but I like adding in some other choices, keeping it fresh.” Rising, she pinned her new schedule to the board.
“Speaking of keeping it fresh, I want to show you something on the third floor.”
“In the passage? Are you thinking about trying out Pirate and Wench?”
“Maybe, but there’s something else first.”
“You know it’s too bad we can’t throw that floor open for our big bash in July,” she said as she walked with him. “It’s too complicated, and too full of things right now, but boy, we could rock it.”
“Maybe someday.”
“I always like somedays.”
“Funny, I’ve realized I do, too. It’s taken a while.”
He guided her into the old servants’ quarters where a bucket held a bottle of champagne.
“Are we celebrating?”
“I sure as hell hope so.”
“I’m also fond of celebrations. You have blueprints up here.” She moved to the table he’d uncovered, studied them. “Eli! You’ve started on plans for your office. Oh, this is great. It’s going to be fabulous for you. You’re adding an outside entrance to the terrace? It’s a great idea. You can go in and out, from right in there, sit out and contemplate. You didn’t tell me!”
She spun around.
“They’re just preliminary. I wanted some of it down, and to find out what could be done before I showed you.”
“Well, preliminary or not, it’s a good reason to pop a cork.”
“That’s not why.”
“You have more.”
“Yeah, it’s a lot more. See, the architect left this space here unnamed. This area we’re standing in, the bath over there. I asked him to just draw it up, basically, and leave it blank.”
“More plans.” She turned a circle, then another. “There’s so much you could do with it.”
“No, not really, but you could.”
“I could?”
“You could have your studio.”
“My— Oh, Eli, that’s so good of you, so sweet, but—”
“Hear me out. Your clients or students—whatever—would have the entrance here, off the terrace. It’s three floors up, but hell, if they’re coming to exercise, the climb’s part of it. If you’re doing the senior yoga deal or whatever, there’s the elevator. And there’s this area here. You could have your massage therapy room. I’m working here, north wing, private, so none of this interferes with me. I asked Gran what she thought, and she thought it was great, so you’ve got the go-ahead there.”
“You’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
“I have, and it’s all been about you. About us. About Bluff House. About, well, somedays. What do you think?”
“Eli.” Overwhelmed, she wandered the space, could see it, just see it. “You’re handing me one of my dreams, but—”
“You could reciprocate, and give me mine.”
He dug in his pocket, pulled out a ring.
“It’s not the one I gave Lindsay. I didn’t want to give you that ring, so I asked Gran if I could have another. It’s old, and one she especially loves, and wanted it to go to you, someone she especially loves. I could have bought you one, but I wanted you to have something that’s been handed down. Symbolic. You’re big on symbols.”
“Oh God. Oh my God.” She could only stare at the perfect square-cut emerald.
“I didn’t want to give you a diamond. Too conventional. And this, anyway, this reminded me of you. Your eyes.”
“Eli.” She rubbed the heel of her hand between her breasts as if to keep her heart beating. “I just . . . I haven’t gone here. I haven’t thought of this.”
“So think of it now.”
“I thought we’d talk about me moving in, officially living together. Taking that next step.”
“We can do that. If that’s all I can get for now, we can do that. I know it’s fast, and I know we’ve got big mistakes behind us. But they’re behind us. I want to marry you, Abra. I want to start a real life with you, a family with you, to share a home with you.”
He swore he could all but feel the ring burn in his hand like a flame, like life. “I look at you, and I see all the somedays, all the possibilities of them. I don’t want to wait to start, but I will. I’ll wait, but you have to know you not only helped me come back, to really see the life I wanted and could have, but you’re the life I want.”
Her heart didn’t stop beating, but it filled. She stared at him as the windows behind him washed pink and gold with the setting sun. And she thought, There’s love. There it is. Take the gift.
“I love you, Eli. I trust my own heart, I learned to do that. I think love is the most powerful and most important thing in the universe, and you have mine. I want yours. We can make the life we both want. I believe that. We can make that life together.”
“But you want to wait.”
“Hell no.” She laughed, all but flew to him. “Oh God! Here you are. The love of my life.”
With her arms tight around him, she found his mouth with hers, sank and sank and sank into the first kiss of the new promise.
He swayed with her, holding on. “It would’ve killed me to wait.”
“Some happy you just have to grab.” She held out her hand. “Make it official.” When he slid the ring on her finger, she put
her arms around him again, held her left hand up to the sunset light. “It’s beautiful and warm.”
“Like you.”
“I love that it’s old, that it’s been passed down through your family. I love that I’m your family. When did you ask Hester for this?”
“When we took her flowers, after going in to see Eden Suskind. I couldn’t ask you, didn’t want to ask you, until that was over.